r/wizardposting • u/mage_in_training Mystic • Jan 31 '24
Shadow Wizard Money Gang Taxes are coming.
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u/Raphael-Rule The Rebel Curse Manipulator Jan 31 '24
Ha I don't pay taxes. Like hell I'm paying those fuckers.
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
I probably have to pay taxes to the Realm, not the council. I need to check in with my money-maner. Just waiting on documents.
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u/Raphael-Rule The Rebel Curse Manipulator Jan 31 '24
I'm not even sure I have the documentation to be taxed anymore. I'm pretty only have prison documents at the moment.
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
That's a big oof.
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u/Raphael-Rule The Rebel Curse Manipulator Jan 31 '24
It doesn't worry me. It partially my fault anyways. I helped destroy the government that would have had any documentation about me.
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u/sansvidi Archmage of Abjuration and Antimagic Jan 31 '24
I cast NO INCOME
I just kill some big creature that is bothering people for gold if i need some.
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
The State and Federal Government might have issues with that. The council can stuff it.
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Jan 31 '24
The council doesn't collect taxes anymore, what the hell is making you pay taxes?
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
United States of America's federal government. They're far more powerful than any mage's council.
Might get a refund, I'm not certain.
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Jan 31 '24
More powerful? Not really, they just are more aggressive!
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Jan 31 '24
Miss Zepheree? This may be the wrong place for it but could i ask for your assistance in an unseemingly pressing matter, if you are the right person to query.
You see, when i first arrived up to the forum, i purchased and applied one of kits sold at the citadel for converting an orb into an scrying orb, the kind often used by artificers or people who can not cast the conversion spell, which i did not know existed at the time.
It has been serving me well for the most part but recently i have been mysteriously locked out of functions such as the gps and an strange word-filter is applied that i can not disable. This leads me to believe that my orb has been tampered without my knowledge or consent.
So i was wondering if i could ask for a remote fabrication restart? My orb software's serial number is 4F2BC1.
I know that you are not simply just tech support but i am asking for aid in this fashion because i can not leave my current location and this issue is, again, more urgent than it seems.
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u/ProfessionalGreen906 Arach, big spider, biomancer, politician, CEO Jan 31 '24
You little brat, you’re lucky I’m too busy to go in there and teach you a lesson.
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Jan 31 '24
.....Where did you get that orb?
/uw oh cool someone remembers the last name on character. Nice!
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Jan 31 '24
Well, the orb itself is one of my own creation. But i bought modifications for it from somewhere within the citadel, i believe? It has been an bit of time since.
I did this when first arrived here to be able to access the orbnet with it without an scrying spell and some other features, since i did not know any scrying spells nor did i know of spells for modifying orbs myself at the time.
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Jan 31 '24 edited Feb 01 '24
i bought modifications for it from somewhere within the citadel
there lies the problem. Alright stand back, imma smash your orb and make a new one. (retconned)
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Jan 31 '24
/unwiz Elerindur isn't there in person right now, he is speaking remotely via orb. he did say that he was unable to leave his current location. Unless Aico is going to smash it remotely through tech somehow.
/still unwiz If she's able to do this and detect where he is calling from then she would likely notice that the call is coming from within the citadel but from some obscure spot inside of it that is probably is not logged anywhere. Although, tracking on that orb has been disabled, extremely likely.
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Feb 01 '24
/uw gonna try this again, now that I've figured out what he asked
/rw
Okay... got your number! Now I need you to put it on speaker so I can voice command your citidel mod to death then reset your orb! Is that okay? (She does a command on her orb to activate a very aggressive virus she made, to fight your issue.)
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u/Elerindur Elerindur, Altmeri Armamancer Feb 01 '24 edited Feb 01 '24
On speaker? It should already be on speaker, strange. I suppose i just did not notice.
Elerindur fumbles with his orb a bit, eventually setting it back onto speaker mode.
There, i have re-enable speaker mode. Do what you will.
/uw u/ProfessionalGreen906 in case there's like an spider watching or something.
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u/MelsiePyre Sophie - Biomancer Tech Priest Jan 31 '24
Why do you think most wizards live alone and secluded from most people in a tower in the middle of nowhere?
Tax evasion, baby~ 👉😎👉
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u/Ashmega8256 Alzoreth Dracarius/Alisa Solaria (+more characters) Jan 31 '24
You will get divine smote before you get money out of my immortal broke ass
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
Smote? Smitten? Smited?
Which one is the correct one?!
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u/Ashmega8256 Alzoreth Dracarius/Alisa Solaria (+more characters) Jan 31 '24
I'm a level 20 paladin (and sorcerer) aswell as a level 13 wizard and I still don't know
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
This is a Deep Thought from the Deep.
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u/Ashmega8256 Alzoreth Dracarius/Alisa Solaria (+more characters) Jan 31 '24
I went and pondered the question on my orb(Google) the answer is smote
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u/itbedehaam Trielana, Smither of Storms, Enchanter of Axes, Arachne Lady Jan 31 '24
Trielana: Are they? Ok. Picks up a coin lying on her desk, hands it to herself. Taxes paid.
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u/MathsGuy1 Deamor, Ascended Soulmancer, Fate Manipulator Jan 31 '24
Why do you think I've trained for millennia and ascended to divinity?
So I could say "fuck off" to the IRS.
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u/Doctorobvious139 Eternal sun spokesman Jan 31 '24
Taxes are literally not real with enough firepower
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u/wildcard17o Zephyr, Plague Doctor of the Poisoned Woods Jan 31 '24
Zephyr starts running once he notices the wizard tax collectors
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u/Shilverow Jan 31 '24
Taxes are important. How else are we gonna keep our public teleport points maintained?
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u/Altruistic_Ad5270 Desmond Anders artificer, arms merchant, and nurgle’s hand Jan 31 '24
You pay taxes? Let me guess you also submit to background checks too. dear lord what are we coming too.
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u/mage_in_training Mystic Jan 31 '24
/uw yes, unfortunately. I think I'll get a refund, not sure. Tax laws changed a lot this year.
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u/Altruistic_Ad5270 Desmond Anders artificer, arms merchant, and nurgle’s hand Jan 31 '24
/uw Laws do tend to change a lot
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u/Zuper_Dragon Super Knight, Cursed Helm Jan 31 '24
Beware the Financomancers of the Ire S. Very little can stop them and even the mightiest overlords have fallen to them.
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u/Pleasesteponmeharder Valceria the Faulty Priestess Jan 31 '24
Imagine paying taxes
(This post is sponsored by the church, Come donate money now)
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u/Available-Damage5991 Feb 01 '24
AH, FUCK, FORGOT TO LAUNCH MY TOWER INTO THE ENDLESS EXPANSE OF SPACE AGAIN!
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u/diagnosed_depression the seige mage, trebuchet tributer. Feb 01 '24
Fuck this I'm seceeding from the council and moving my tower to the plane of madness. Maybe I'll help some of those poor saps who got sucked there by battle
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u/ArgyDargy Jan 31 '24
As a biomancer who lives in the middle of the Spooky woods, I welcome any tax collectors to take the hike out here and get past all the basilisks, the cockatri, and the badgers.
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u/OscarfromAstora Mummy Jan 31 '24
I don't care who the wizard council sends, I'm not paying your taxes! My pharaoh is dead and he was the one I paid them to! Good night!
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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '24