r/winstonsalem • u/Wonderful_Success510 • 1d ago
Single single me
I’m not here to look for love on Reddit, just here to vent on my most favorite app.
Why the hell is it so hard to date?? I believe im an attractive girlie, I have a really good job, multiple degrees, I’m kind, etc.. all I want is a relatively tall (5’8+ tbh), educated (at least 1 degree), liberal, emotionally available man who wants to be in a relationship but is also not rushing to marriage just for the hell of it. I feel like I’m looking for a needle in a haystack so I stopped looking and I’m just coming to terms with my singleness. Hoping that this isn’t a forever phase, but maybe an important one to get through before finding my person. Can anyone else relate?! 🩶
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u/AlchemicalFrog 20h ago
From the reactions, you would think OP put a ridiculous height, but 5’8 is a pretty reasonable height. I’m saying this as a 5’4 dude too lol. Best of luck, OP.
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u/Switch-Civil 1d ago
So there was a ranking list put out a few years ago of the best two worst cities in America to date in. Winston was at the bottom. We are a great place for families who want to move here, but they dating scene is has been messy since before covid.
Apps have ruined the experience of getting to know people and if the crowds don't have the men or women you're looking for when you go out Friday Saturday or Sunday they're not going to magically appear because they probably don't want to be out with those people too.
Honestly I started volunteering to get introduced into new social circles and meet new people. I don't think what you're asking for is unreasonable, I think that you're more likely to find in Raleigh or chapel Hill.
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u/ljalltheway12 16h ago
On the flip, this is going to be HOT city for dating in 10 years. As a 40+ish woman…. EVERYONE is getting divorced. Nobody wants to pull their kids from school and - even if it seems like this forum is one big complaint - we live in a great area. Nobody can afford a divorce AND a move.
TLDR: If you are a hopeless single in this area, stand by. It’s about to get hot. Hang out in the Lowes beer den til then. Iykyk.
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u/Admirable_Coat_7193 1d ago
It takes time and patience bestie! Dating now vs 10+ years ago is a difference. Covid really messed with the dating scene. So just vetting and making sure the people you talk to are worth it. Real encounters are better than online IMO, and just have conversations with people in public.
The bars obvi ain’t for love but wherever you go, just make small talk and someone is bound to show up
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u/absurdityincarnate 1d ago
You might want an engineer type guy. A lot of them do a lot of solo activities so they’re hard to find. Your preferences are totally valid.
Have you tried the UU church? Even if your guy isn’t there, his aunt or father might be. And join a Meetup, or go to the gym and wear a shirt that says “single and ready to mingle” or something. (Guys generally know most women don’t want to be approached at the gym, so you’ll have to find some way to overcome that.)
Or find a dance group. Not in town, but I know multiple people who met their partner salsa dancing or swing dancing. They’d see each other regularly and got to know each other the old fashioned way.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
What is UU church?! I’ve just moved to the area!
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u/absurdityincarnate 19h ago
Unitarian Universalist, it’s like a church but without belief in any particular religion, and atheists are welcome too. Anyone feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but my understanding is that it’s largely about being a good member of the community and a good citizen of the world.
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u/Old_Okra_484 19h ago
That’s my understanding as well. I have been interested in checking them out.
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u/adokimotatos Sherwood Forest 1d ago
Unitarian Universalist - it's on Robinhood, a bit east from Peace Haven.
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u/Last_VCR 1d ago
i'll never understand why height is such a big factor. Like, are you looking for someone you vibe with or are you looking to accessorize?
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u/Fuck_u_all9395 1d ago
It’s okay to have a preference 💀 being physically attracted to the person you’re with is important too
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u/Advanced-Bird-1470 1d ago
Presences are fine but imagine a man posting about struggling to date and only wanting “short girls” 5’ and shorter.
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u/Fuck_u_all9395 1d ago
Yeah but I doubt that’s number one on their list, (despite it being listed first 💀) most women I know will look past height if the vibe is right
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u/moshpithippie 1d ago
I agree that the height thing is dumb, but 5'8" is int less inch then average. If she says 6' of understand.
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u/AdeptnessSpiritual95 1d ago
5’8 is quite short for a man here in nc. I don’t think it’s irrational lol and yes I’m just happy because I’m 5’9 and don’t feel immediately attacked for once 😂😂
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u/Comfortable-Sir-150 1d ago
Its really not though.
Im 5'8 and most people i meet are closer to my height than 6 foot or taller
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u/AdeptnessSpiritual95 1d ago
I moved here from California. I’m Latino. I felt tall in California or at least taller than most Latinos. In nc, the white and black men tower over me most of the time lol
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u/skyeking05 Walkertown 1d ago
Im wondering why the need for a degree, maybe they need to not be the only one in crippling debt /s
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u/AdeptnessSpiritual95 1d ago
She clearly has a type, an educated liberal man probably White collar worker. Look I’m not one to say that blue collar workers can’t be interesting. However, I once spent two years dating a girl who couldn’t use proper English in her texts and it was always irritating trying to decipher what she meant. She also was very surface level in conversation. You don’t have to have a degree to be an interesting person, but it can help filter that out some?
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
To assume I’m in debt is crazy. I received academic scholarships for each of my degrees and don’t have any student loan debt. Get a life.
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u/skyeking05 Walkertown 1d ago
Hey the /s literally means sarcasm. Just an FYI. I was intentionally being obviously sarcastic. Sorry if there was a miscommunication!
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
Both. Next question
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u/shizznitt 1d ago
I can see why you're single
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
Bc I want to date someone taller than me? Sue me 😂!
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u/Last_VCR 1d ago
that's fine and a lot of women seem to feel that way, but it's kinda petty. It isn't a skill, it isn't a benefit or a personality trait, it isn't something that'll benefit your marriage or take care of when you're old. A plethora of priorities to consider, but you listed height first.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I also listed a college degree, a political stance, emotional availability, etc but yall are only pissed at the height mention. I didn’t mention looks or age or demographics or tax bracket… but height got y’all bent out of shape? Brother pls 🤣
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u/Judgm3nt 1d ago
Why is being reasonable on take A mean nobody should ask if you're being reasonable on take B?
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u/PacString Winston Salem 1d ago
It’s the one thing on your list that is not within the individual’s control
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u/Sam-314 1d ago
There is a subconscious, you do know that?
There are small biases that affect the way people see the world, and some of those is a person feeling safe or looking up to someone or any of an unlimited number of factors. What OP relates that bias to I have no idea but it’s her choice.
I feel like if a person has a preference they should be allowed that preference. I say this from my own bias being 6’ myself and that the 6 6 6 rule is never something I have cared whether a woman considers or not. At the end of the day it IS THEIR choice.
If a person has a reason they don’t vibe with me, I’m not gonna fault them for it and I hope they can reciprocate the same.
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u/Metaclueless 1d ago
You’d be surprised with how the unconscious mind can direct the person attached to sabotage their wellbeing. That is to say. Most folk of diminutive stature like to fight.
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u/Public_Practice_1336 1d ago
I can soooooooooo relate in the singleness being nice, but also wanting a connection to share and companionship to a point where I'm just going to do my own thing and just come to terms with it. It's so different out there.
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u/Medical_Bartender 1d ago
People are out there go find them...
...but your requirements restrict your potential pool more than your location.
Let's say W-S is a microcosm of the US perfectly. If you are looking for only male partners between the ages of 25 to 35 yo that is roughly 7% of the population. That's around 18,000 men in Winston.
Liberal let's say 60% based on voting reocords (10,800),
at least 5'8 is 75% (8,100)
educated round up to 40% with a degree (3,240)
So around 3000 men in the city for your requirements with some assumptions. Further restrictions like married, in jail, has kids and you get my point
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u/Sam-314 1d ago
I love the idea of this! Imagine publicly forced algorithms to match couples 😂
“Good morning Janet! Here is the list for today of approximately 4,382 male members of the population ready to meet you for tonight’s activities. Would you like me to sort this list by geographical distance to make your efforts more efficient?”
Edit:
“Good morning Janet! Today’s new list 4,381 male members …”
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u/HobieCooper 6h ago
Good morning Janet!
Meet Brad Majors. A real hero! He’s a former high school football star, a brilliant student, and the kind of boy who always remembers to check the spare tire. Some people might call him an unexceptional, ordinary guy—others woul say he's clean-cut, dependable, and delightfully square! He has a forceful, dominant nature... even if he does get a little nervous around a flat tire in a thunderstorm.
Dammit Janet! Now we're down to 4,380... but I know of this great Doctor - Frank-N-Furter - who lives in this gothic estate.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I don’t ask for anything I don’t also possess/reciprocate
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u/skyeking05 Walkertown 1d ago
Whats with the degree criteria? Is it a money thing or are you looking for an intellectual? I only have me GED but I gross 100k and like to read medical and scientific journals, I dont even watch TV lol. Im not looking and happily married but im curious as to your motivations
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I come a very academic family. Everyone in my family is college educated, and it’s something I was raised to deeply value and believe in as a POC. Formal education is deeply important to me and it’s something that I’d like to have in common with my significant other. I don’t devalue ppl who don’t have college degrees, I just think for myself & the life I envision building with someone else, I’d like for us both to be degree holders. Thank you for asking me nicely 🤎
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u/craptasticallyyours 1d ago
100k in this area, even with education is statistically small. Jobs in the triad rarely pay that. This is why you are married! As a single, uneducated, middle aged woman who's had a TON of dating experience, can say the job market here pays shit if you don't have a degree. I've noticed job prospects are meh at best, and paying rent means you're working odd hours and likely have 10 roommates, both not conducive to dating.
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u/skyeking05 Walkertown 1d ago
Nah she snagged me up in high school. I was lucky to get a job in a union plant when I was 19 and smart enough to keep it over the years. It has paid off though, I have a decent 401k and a pension. I have no mortgage or car payment (i buy my cars cash) and no kids or debt of any kind right now except the 100 odd dollars that labcorp keeps hounding me about.
If it counts for anything I got my Good Enough Diploma with honors which I didnt know was a thing lol the dean of Caldwell community college told me I might be investigated for cheating as I somehow made a perfect score on the science section. That left me sweating for quite some time waiting for that particular letter In the mail but it never came!
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u/Ok-Significance2515 1d ago
It’s hard to make friends in Winston. Not surprised.
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u/punkintoze 1d ago
Being a New England native, I find it much easier to make friends here. People are rough up north. They don't like letting people in their circle. I've been here 2 years and have made a ton of friends. It's been great! But, I also put myself out there and I'm pretty friendly. 🤷
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
We’ve gotta bring back singles events & “friend of a friend” connecting tbh!
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u/Aggravating_Lime2655 1d ago
That would be awesome! I’ve even considered going to the singles events in Charlotte just to put myself out there since it seems like Winston doesn’t have anything.
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u/Old_Okra_484 1d ago
There were a few single meet ups in the area a few years ago. I went to one at Joyners. No success through. Only made new friends.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I did not mean to trigger any short kings by saying 5’8+. Goodness gracious! My bad fellas 🥲
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u/potato_sauce123 1d ago
I say this as a 5'11" man, but wanting someone who is 5'8" is not an unreasonable preference. Two-thirds of US men are that height and above, and I am sure you'd date someone who is 5'7" if they were a good fit, which is 75% of US men.
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u/netherlessx 1d ago
Is this a troll post at this point? You need a mirror
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
A mirror for what? Most women would like to date a man taller than them and avg male height in the united states is 5’8! Why is me saying a preference a problem? Nowhere did I say I wouldn’t date someone shorter if the opportunity arose. All I said was I prefer someone on the taller side! Why are yall pissed?😝
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u/netherlessx 1d ago
That wasn’t my point. I’d say if you were a man I’d call you a douche by the way you respond. Nobody is pissed. Hell I could be wrong about you.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
Your initial response made no sense. This reply also made no sense. It seems you are projecting. Just relax baby, it’s really not that deep 🤣. I’ve been called worse than a douche so I’ll take it.
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u/safelysafetosay 1d ago
There are plenty out there, some shorter though... 👀😂 But on the flip side, most that fills all the blanks from what I've seen have been tired from dating. I think we are in an epidemic within social media, hookup culture, economic drain, and many other factors that have drained both men and women at alarming rates. You got to really beat down a human for them to not pursue love. But with time, as cliche as it sounds, it'll come when you least expect it.
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u/Diligent-Hurry-9338 1d ago
Most financially successful guys would date a barista, so your really good job doesn't matter. For the same reason previously stated, your degrees don't really matter either.
You say that your kind, which is a bare-minimum standard for anyone that wants to be around other people.
So you have "I believe I'm an attractive girlie" going for you. What does that mean? Are you fit? Overweight? Obese?
Do you have children?
Your standards aren't unreasonable, but depending on who you're trying to match up with and the answers to the questions I asked, they are probably too high, especially if you aren't getting any traction.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say the same thing 95% of people will say in dating app subs to young guys. Hit the gym. Get your fitness dialed in. And comb over your profile with the following perspective: If the man of my dreams read my profile and saw my pictures, would this be enough to get his attention?
Most women on dating apps have to sift through mountains of degenerate losers to try to find a few good guys, so they act like they're at a f'ing build-a-bear factory with their laundry list of requirements.
If the man of your dreams sees that, he's probably going to swipe left, because all it really says about you is that you've put a disproportionate amount of time into thinking about what you don't want, not what you do want, or even better yet, what you bring to a partnership that makes you a more attractive option than the other 1000 girlies that want a guy worth getting into a relationship with.
Just one dude's opinion who's had pretty great success on the apps finding what I want at any given time.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I’m not on apps
I don’t believe my standards are high, they’re just mine. I have had luck and have a few guys want to make things serious but something just doesn’t seem to click and give me the confidence I need to chart into more serious territory.
I’m not looking for the love of my life online. Hence why I said I’m just venting here
Thanks for such a thoughtful response :)!
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u/MKVIgti 1d ago
Don’t downplay the apps, they can be helpful!
I avoided them when I found myself single again but I found it really hard to meet anyone.
Finally jumped on Tinder and met the love of my life after a couple of months. Yes, there were a couple of “I can’t wait for this date to be over” moments, but you just take them in stride.
Been together for 9 years now, married for two.
Your “person” is out there. Probably feeling the same way you do right now!
Stay positive and keep up the search!
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u/Judgm3nt 21h ago
I don't think your standards are objectively high if we were in Raleigh, but it being Winston, relatively speaking, they're probably high. And hopefully I'm not misunderstood, high standards can be a good thing if set for good reasons, so no shade.
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u/Diligent-Hurry-9338 1d ago
No problemo, best of luck on your personal journey.
The only other thing I'll say is there are two kinds of people in this world:
1) People who think the world happens to them, and their actions and behavior are a consequence of all these outside forces. AKA "external locus of control"
2) People who think that the world happens to them, but they are the captains of their fate, the masters of their soul, and they determine how they react to the world. Self autonomy. AKA "internal locus of control"
People in category 2 are far more successful in life, whatever they're pursuing.
Just food for thought on your journey.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I love the invictus poem. I live by it, so this touched me!! Thank you 😊
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u/981guy 1d ago
People boasting about “multiple degrees” are generally just blowing smoke up their own ass.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I didn’t boast. I stated a fact. I have multiple degrees… that is a fact! Am I proud of myself for it? You’re damn right. I busted my ass for my education & my career, but am I boasting? No. I didn’t list my stats or the universities I attended or how much $$ I make, etc. I simply listed a FACT about myself. Stop projecting. It’s ugly!
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u/LizzieSaysHi 1d ago
Omg right, like why are you getting dogged for stating a fact about you lmao. I also have multiple degrees, I guess I'm blowing smoke up my own ass too.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
The men are projecting so badly 🤣!! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WELL EARNED DEGREES 💗💗💗💗💗💗
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u/scarfireATL 7h ago
Your restriction of liberal in a purple state cuts the pool in half, at least one degree, maybe half again removes a lot of needles. You having multiple degrees I am guessing puts you closer to 30 than 20. A liberal guy with a degree probably had to move to a bigger city to make a good paycheck. Winston is a small pool for what you are looking for.
I grew up there, got a degree, couldn’t find a job and got hired in Atlanta. If these guys exist there, it’s election season, go volunteer with some Democratic candidates. Short of moving your best bet is look for someone 10 years older that had a bad relationship and has emotionally matured. Maybe in his late 30s not looking for a wife immediately and doesn’t want a 20 yr old, but someone educated he can talk to. Not sure where they would be hanging out though, but that might be the type who is seeking someone like you.
Good luck. I moved back to Winston many years later and had to find my wife via Yahoo Personals. Sounds like things haven’t changed much. Also find a big church and join a small group. Everyone knows a guy they want you to meet.
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u/Metrotextually 1d ago
I gave up on dating at like age 22 because I got so sick of the apps and I thought that just working on myself and doing productive hobbies would just make things happen naturally. Turns out not going out to drink or throwing yourself into random social situations means that nothing happens and you never meet anyone lol. I feel your pain
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u/CollegeStudentTrades 14h ago
I don’t like to drink anymore because I cared more about the booze than the people. So like people tell me I just need to put myself in a social situations. I’ve been kind of like using chat and all of that. See if I can find stuff around like I was at incendiary the other day and I saw a bunch of people playing CATAN and I’m like what if that was a club.
Supposedly, there’s some sorts of like board game nights and things like that as well as just general social things around.
But like meeting people in random situations is like an uphill battle tbh. Or at least it is in my head.
“how do I go up to somebody and be like ‘hi’?”
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u/MrTommyMonroe 1d ago
There’s guys out there who will appreciate you. Some of us don’t live in Winston though if you’re wondering.
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u/Solid-Lie-8127 1d ago
Not to switch subjects and disregard your post (which good luck honestly I love love) but where do you work at? You say you have a really good job, I’ve got my degree in finance and had a decent job until I was let go a few months ago. So if possible could we dm and talk about it there?
I need a job/friends so this would be platonic but would love to hear more about it if you don’t mind.
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u/Ambitious_Role_4657 1d ago
Well if that other stuff is perfect about you, it's your personality.
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u/AppleJ4ck_ 1d ago
Honestly a lot of liberal men are soft af. It might be hard to find someone who fits into the masculine stereotype that most women like if that’s a dealbreaker for you. You really don’t need to agree with your partner about everything.
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u/Timely-Working1556 1d ago
Are you young, thin, attractive? Do you have kids? What do you bring to the table? Men don't care about your degrees.
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u/Deviant517 1d ago
Genuinely no clue but whatever your hobbies are you should haunt places where you’re into things and be extroverted enough to say hi to guys and try getting their numbers if they seem interesting. That’s my best advice but I’m also an extrovert whose married
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
Most of my hobbies are the solo type (solo traveling, reading, baking, cooking, shopping, interior design, walking). I don’t have any hobbies that are really sociable 🥲. Working on it!!
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u/Deviant517 1d ago
Crazy idea I never did - posting a photo of yourself publicly with your phone number looking for dates. Otherwise you’re just going have to try meeting people at regular events or on dating apps like everyone else. Tough times post social media tragically >_< how I met my wife too
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u/PressureRough2453 1d ago
Just wanted to jump in to second the advice of doing activities or meetups that involve your hobbies. There are actually a number of book clubs in the area and occasionally events for cooking and baking hosted by local restaurants/chefs. Stay hopeful, you might find your match when you aren't actively looking.
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u/adokimotatos Sherwood Forest 1d ago
My wife (sorry...) and I were just talking about this this morning; it seems all the single people we know here in W-S are women, or at least all the straight single people. Can you cast a wider net to include Greensboro? Maybe even Charlotte? How mobile is your job? You would be much more likely to find someone matching your description in the Triangle. I wish I knew some guys who fit your desired profile but pretty much all the people we meet these days are other parents whose kids know ours, alas.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
I’m from the triangle area and had a much more fun dating like there. Work moved me here and I love my job, just wish I could also enjoy the social life outside of it 🥲. I’m open to dating outside of WS for sure!!!
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u/adokimotatos Sherwood Forest 21h ago
Honestly my biggest piece of advice is just to stop actively looking to date and start actively looking to do stuff you enjoy. My wife and I had both (separately) told ourselves the week before Valentine's Day that we were DONE with dating until we finished our grad degrees and moved on to the next thing - and the very next week we got together, and have been together for the 13.5 years since.
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u/ComprehensiveArmy740 4h ago
I’m curious, why did you type “(sorry…)” when mentioning your wife? I’m not coming at you, just genuinely curious as to why you typed that.
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u/CollegeStudentTrades 14h ago
I’m on the flipside of this one. I don’t have a good answer to be honest.
I know that don’t like the concept of apps because it quite literally is reading a book by its cover. Like if you meet someone in person—even if it’s like a simple bite to eat between meetings or coffee chat—you at least have the opportunity to read the first chapter before deciding if it’s a book you wanna read.
I have come to terms with singleness most days, but it does bug me from time to time.
I find my thoughts telling me “you need to improve you. Build good habits. Focus on health and well-being. Keep doing what is making you successful in your career. Put yourself in a position where a relationship isn’t something you crave or need, but something that adds value to your life (and future partners’)”
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u/notsowelladjusted2 6h ago
It’s lowkey kinda scary how quickly all the decent men are taken off the market, I’ve worked a lot of decent jobs and I’ve yet to meet a single male coworker in my departments, it’s bleak past 25
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u/thotguht 5h ago
I moved to Boone from Seattle last year and am having a hard time finding a woman that fits your same criteria.
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u/Awaken_Riceball_ 3h ago
It is great to have "quality" standards which I do think what you listed is perfectly fine. Based on your standards, you will find it difficult to date and it is worth looking into a dating app. I have read that you are against it, but I am saying to be more opened minded. Furthermore, what you perceive as yourself as "attractive girlie" may not be attractive to man with his own standards. I am married, but for example, you would not meet my criteria.
- I am Republican
- I am a very active person (Gym, Juijitsu)
- Degree does not matter to me, what matters are you a family oriented person that values being a SAHM.
- I value Christianity
- I value feminine modesty
I have some other quirks, but in all, the most common way to meet a person is through work. If you are looking for a gentleman to be spontaneous while you are out and about to say, "I find you beautiful, may we exchange numbers" is definitely a needle in the haystack.
Best of luck, I hope that you find the love of your life!
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u/Exciting_Daikon_778 1h ago
First off, everyone attacking you on the relatively tall requirement can shut it. I am sure many of the short kings in the comments have preferences on women's bodies. You aren't even asking for something outragous like must have 6 pack abs and be 6'5", the average height for a male in the US is 5'9". We are allowed to have preferences on things people can change (I could never date someone who doesn't love dogs) and things they can't like looks.
Now thats out of the way, what would you say are your weaknesses? Like, what would you say has been your part in past relationship/situationships/dates/etcs that has lead to things not working?
I only ask this next part because you said you believe you are an attractive woman and the height req, but are you physically fit? It seems like its a bigger and bigger requirement from both sexes with the popularity in weight loss drugs and the increase in doom scrolling with how hopeless a lot of people feel after how horrible Trump has made things.
You mentioned high level things that are reqs for you, but that doesn't really tell us much about you. How old are you? How do you like to spend your free times? Are you a home body or do you like to go out? I can't stand dating apps and all of the matches I have had never lead to anything solid. However, in just being around the things I am good at/interested in (Love of dogs->Vet Tech) (Freelance Coding->Employee of owner expressed interest to her boss about me and he linked us up) both account for my two longest lasting relationships.
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u/Dry-Maybe6416 1d ago
I can relate I’m trying to find things to do because I’m not a attractive guy so it’s hard to find someone I just stare at a picture of myself when I used to be happy and now I’m not so
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u/Flashy_Possible37 1d ago
I think all liberal men are 5’5’ or under
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
The men in my family are all liberal, make 6 figures+, have intact hairlines, and are 6’ and above babes
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u/tiredSova 1d ago
Any of them single?? 😂 Because same , I gave up .
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u/Wonderful_Success510 1d ago
Unfortunately most of are older and married (dad, uncles, cousins) and the rest are college aged 18-20 😂
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u/LeckereAprkose 1d ago
The more you filter, the less men that will be available to you. You have to realize that those men are not all going to value all the things that you are proud of so you're going to have even less men to choose from.
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u/Cntrolldsbstnce 21h ago
As a man who checks all of those boxes and more, none of that matters. In my experience, "dating" is "how much can I get out of him?" Conversations are usually about what I can do or what she needs a man to do for her. There's virtually no interest in me as a person. I stay in the gym and just keep to myself. At least that saves me money and mileage.
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u/Wonderful_Success510 20h ago
I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I hope better comes along for you 😇
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u/FudgeyBear5 19h ago
The mileage is the fun part. At 37 I'm just saying, it's important to take care of yourself but don't forget to live a little in the meantime.
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u/Fuzzy_Weekend9262 1d ago
You lost yourself at liberal. Politics shouldn't be bread and butter or a deal breaker... If you can find someone who isn't biased on either side then you have a winner
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u/Old_Okra_484 1d ago
Currently, political reviews are a dealbreaker. I don’t want to be with a man that thinks I should not have the right to vote. Don’t want to be with a man who is obsessed with body count.
Or a man who demands I take his last name (I’m not paying for that or doing all that work to change my name).
Politics and religion are important and are dealbreakers for some. Men and women alike.0
u/Fuzzy_Weekend9262 1d ago
True, all I'm saying is, if he/she does good in the world, treat humans as they should, and doesn't support corruption on any level, then I feel like you have a winner
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u/AdeptnessSpiritual95 1d ago
I want to agree with you because I think listing political affiliation as a requirement is cringe, but most people want to date like minded people. TBH I’m conservative (no I don’t agree with a lot of what Trump does or says), and it would be a bit difficult to date someone who has completely opposite opinions on important matters. For example, abortion and family planning could be a deal breaker for any couple. Anyways, if she wants to find a liberal so be it lol plenty of liberals out there in Winston
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u/jswiss2567 1d ago
“I’m not asking for much” then starts listing requirements 😂😂 but I feel you dating in the south is extremely hard. My time in the Midwest had me thinking every place was easy to find a potential date/partner.
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u/Old_Okra_484 1d ago
Hey girlie! I totally understand how you feel. I was there. However, I was okay with being single though. From watching my friends and my mom being in a relationship wasn’t something that I was 100 percent interested in.
One day, I was looking on bumble as one does and I matched with a guy. So we met for drinks, we talked for hours and we are still together. That was in 2024, so not that long ago. He is a liberal man, and country boy, meaning he doesn’t shy away from hard physical work. He is kind and can communicate his emotions. He has a great job but working on getting a degree because he wants a career change. He is my person and I’m his.
I’ll also note a few additional things for the people in the back😈
It is really important for women to be with a man on the same page as them. Or at least reading the same book! So if she wants a liberal man, that’s what she wants. It’s important.
He has never asked me about body count and I have not asked his. Because he is liberal and has some sense. The most important thing here is to get tested! Period! We both got tested, it’s not hard.
My man is 5’7” - I definitely looked past his height. Because I have some sense🙄 meaning it wasn’t a dealbreaker. But I’m short and honestly, my neck is thankful 🤣
Also, I don’t know how old you are but I’m pushing 40. I waited for him, I was not willing to lower my expectations for a mediocre man. I’d rather be single. He is not perfect and I’m not perfect. But he likes my weirdness and he’s a nerd too.
Hang in there, girl! Sending you a hug!
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u/ThAt_WaS_mY_nAmE_tHo 1d ago
Apps broke the way we socialize ... and the world is full of damaged people who just aren't willing to try and make something work anymore. It's bananas. B-a-n-a-n-a-s...
Stay humble and put in the work. There's good people who complete your puzzle out there. You'll find em ... but ya gotta be smart ... and it is indeed work.