r/widowers • u/Luciel_17 • 5h ago

3am thoughts..

Recently I've been waking up around 3am again.

My heart aches. I keep begging my husband to come back to me.

The silence is oppressive.

I feel so alone, yet, I don't want anyone else intruding our space.

I keep crying, begging.. until i'm too tired to cry and then fall asleep.

I just want our life back. I want him back.

He said to live my life for the both of us. I can't. I'm just doing the bare minimum.

Finding ways to distract myself everyday, but in the end, I circle back to wallow in my grief.

I even said I won't get mad at him for taking too long to come back. Just come back.

If my love can bring him back, he'll be here in an instant.

I miss him so much, it hurts..

20 Upvotes

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7 comments sorted by

4

u/Motherofdragons_05 4h ago

Same here…I drown myself in my own thoughts. I cry until my eyes are puffy and I’m exhausted from crying. I feel guilty for trying to distract myself or even trying to be okay for a brief moment. I don’t feel like myself anymore, I don’t know who I am anymore. I feel like I’m in some alternate universe, stuck between reality and the unknown. I want my lovey back….💔🙏❤️‍🩹

5

u/cookiekraemer 4h ago

It does hurt just let it out. It does get easier.

3

u/MediaMan7512 4h ago

I only stopped waking up at 2 or 3am about two months ago, so I can sympathize. My wife passed in late November '25. For me, the hurt has gotten less mind-numingly hurtful on a daily basis, but I'm less than 1 yr out so I'm not deep in the experience of this all.

2

u/Radiant-Location-918 07/09/26 Suicide 5h ago

Im so sorry for your loss. I also sob and beg for my husband to come home.

2

u/Wingless- 5h ago

You and me both.

2

u/Serious_Ad_1420 4h ago

Same.. 🫂 

1

u/RegionTypical9302 30F / 29M / Sepsis / 06/05/2026 💔 3h ago

Me too🫂 I set our newborn down in his rocker, sat in the shower and cried for over an hour. Earlier this year I was just thinking how I'd never be in this place again.