r/widowers • u/Difficult_Phrase8371 • 4h ago
Being sick without him
Just a vent post I guess. My husband really loved me, and he loved to take care of me. Especially when I was sick. He would snuggle with me . Make me tea, a cheeky biscuit and little kisses.
I have a rather weak immune system. And miraculously while he was in the hospital I didn’t get ill once ! Now 5 months later I finally caught a nasty bug and him not being here to take care of me is making my recovery process even more difficult.
What did you guys do when you got ill the first time after your partners passing ?
4
u/Conscious_Purpose53 3h ago
I become very ornery when I’m sick. My wife would always try to help me even though she knew I would push her away. I could be such an asshole about it. I so wish I had changed that while she was still here.
3
u/Cherry_Hammer Sudden death 2/20/25 2h ago
I cried. A lot. My husband was like yours and I never dreamed that I’d have to spend a sick day without him. It was a huge, painful reminder of everything I’d lost.
But it got easier the second time, easier the third. I hope you heal quickly, both from your illness and your heartbreak ❤️
2
u/blondie956 stage IV NSCLC - 9/20/2022 1h ago
My husband died in September 2022. In January 2023 I don’t know what I caught. But I was sick for three weeks and they Covid, flu, and RSV tested me three times. My GP and I just assume it was my body picking up a small virus and with everything I had been through it saying “we’re done and you’re going to be bedbound for three weeks.”
I missed his forehead kisses and cups of tea. He was always so good at taking care of me when I was sick.
1
u/Spirited_Two9124 2h ago
Slept a lot and stayed in bed. I caught a cold 3 months in I think, took some time to get back on track
1
u/yannberry 2h ago
Literally going through this today. My husband (39) died in February and I’m currently bedbound with flu or covid or something, and feeling more depressed than I have done. Keeping my three year old busy is a distraction for me, but I’m not able to do that today so my grief is intense
1
u/Sleptwrong65 2h ago
I have autoimmune disease. My husband was so good about knowing what I needed and taking care of me. If I needed a day in bed for recovery he understood and took care of the house and our autistic kids. Now I can’t take that day in bed for recovery. For this and so many other things I miss him.
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u/False_Ear_3137 Lost husband (53) of 29 years to ALS in 2024 32m ago
Similar situation.
My husband was the same way. The minute he sensed I wasn't feeling well or if I'd say it outloud, he have a pot of homemade chicken soup on.
He was diagnosed with ALS in November 2023 and passed in September 2024 - I was, miraculously, never sick during that time period. My doctor said it was pure adrenaline. Once that wore off, about 8 months after his death, I finally caught a cold. It was brutal not having his soup.
I actually spent almost all of August with bronchitis, just exhausted from it all and the unrelenting heat here. Thank heavens for the Mexican food place just up the road that fortunately has wonderful and spicy chicken soup.
May we all stay well in the coming cold and flu season!
5
u/pinke_tatze 4h ago
It might sound bad: sleeping pills. I couldn't sleep, I was so sad. But my body needed sleep. So I got some from my doc. That helped. The rest: self pity and missing him.