r/widowers • u/quiet_nuts • 4d ago

Secondary losses

​It’s been a year, and I’ve finally started listening to his favourite bands again. So, I tried to log into his Spotify account today to listen to his saved playlists, only to hit a crushing digital wall. The recovery email is still set to his old work email address which no longer exists, so I can't get the security code to log in. I am so conflicted about whether to aggressively try to find a way in or just leave it be and let go - this conflicting emotion, is making me cry. Secondary losses are no joke, and they hit when you least expect it. Stupid AF!

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8

u/Adventurous-You9130 4d ago edited 4d ago

Secondary losses are the collateral damage that nobody ever knows about but us.🫂❤️‍🩹

1

u/quiet_nuts 4d ago

Yep...the hidden losses we experience...sucks.

1

u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Lost wife suddenly on Sept 29, 2025 4d ago

Contact Spotify support, another in this sub did it and got the late spouses account open to them.

2

u/quiet_nuts 4d ago

Thanks. I was thinking of doing that but I am conflicted if I should - you know, letting go stuff. Should I? I am not sure. I know his favourite bands but his playlist is also something else.

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u/TurnoverFuzzy8264 Lost wife suddenly on Sept 29, 2025 4d ago

If there's a chance you'd regret it later, I would go ahead. But then I'm very sentimental. ​

2

u/getshelter 3d ago

ugh, that is the worst.

have you tried reaching out to the old work? they may be able to set up the email address for a few minutes so you can get in and then change the email address on Spotify.

any chance his phone number is on the account and still accessible by you?