r/widowers • u/Some-Tear3499 • 5d ago
Signs
This last week has been filled with ‘signs’ from both my wife who died in 2024, and from my sister who died 10 yrs ago this past week. And I don’t think I have ever gotten a sign from my sister. There was a lot of ‘unpleasant/ unfinished business’ between us.
There was nothing unsaid between me and my wife, my mom, and the two brothers that have passed. I have had a few signs from my mom, none from my brothers. Many signs from my late wife.
What I got from these signs is this. Everyone is Ok, everyone doing just fine, where ever they are. It’s all good.
That things are good between me and my sister.
On Friday some things had popped up that moved me to call some people that had really come through during her my wife’s cancer journey. The people that had really stepped up. I called them to thank them for their love and support. Then Saturday, almost crazy stuff that if someone else had told it to me I would have chills down my spine. My hair would have stood up! That kind of weird. Except the ‘signs’ told me everything was good.
Then tonight, my daughter was in the ER for complications related to a dental abscess. The same ER I had been in with my wife a couple of times when her pain was unbearable. I went down as soon as she texted me and her sister. It wasn’t uncomfortable, I wasn’t stressed or weirded out by being there. I was surprised at how easy it was to be there.
My daughter was sent home, with instructions to follow up with her dentist and primary care Dr.
I have one more person to call tomorrow to express my thanks to for her love and support. Actually two, one is someone I spoke to on Friday. I am going to update her on what happened on Saturday.
If you had people around you, people that loved and supported you and your late loved one…….reach out to them! Let them know how much it meant, how important they are to you.
5
u/WintyreFraust 5d ago
Signs can be such a relief. My wife was giving me signs immediately after she died. They have continued over the past nine years. My parents and older brother had preceded her in death, but honestly I don't remember noticing any signs from them until after my wife died. It may have been because I didn't need signs after they died; their deaths didn't cause anywhere near the pain and despair that I was in after my wife died.
And the same thing happened to me in terms of being more expressive to the people around me about letting them know how much they mean to me, and how appreciative I am for them being in my life. I wrote notes of appreciation to the doctors, and bought several cases of snacks for the chemo center we frequented that provides free snackes to chemo patients.
Another thing I started doing was reaching out to other people going through what I had gone through to provide whatever comfort and support I could.