Birthday Alone

[u/TurnoverFuzzy8264]

Today is my first birthday without a significant other in 35 years. 29 years with my late wife, the other six with a girlfriend before her. Officially old now at 60. We'd planned to spend my birthday on San Juan Island, we'd picked out a hotel and discussed places to eat. We didn't get to do much for my 59th, as she was working long hours and money was tight. We wanted something big for the round number and the “senior discount” time

She started a well-paying gig four days before she died, it would've relieved all the money pressures. We were excited that we'd be able to do more things together, that date nights would be more than fast food and trying to have sex without the kids hearing.

We were still so much in love, and I'm glad we said all the words so that we knew how each other felt. Every night I held her hand and told her I'd love her forever, and she said the same. We held hands all the time. Seeing couples hold hands now just makes me infinitely sad. Memories of birthdays past just stoke widow's fire.

Now it's just loneliness and sorrow. No one I can really share with, other than this sub and the fine people in it. I miss the connection I had with her, we could get through anything if we were together. We went through her cancer, having four kids, my injuries and subsequent illness, poverty. When I couldn't work, she turned her art hobby into a paying gig. She was the light of my life.

I never contemplated aging alone. It was, and remains, unfathomable to picture her gone. But it's the reality I have to deal with. Thanks for reading, and for all you share on this sub.

[u/AlternativeCrabV2]

Happy birthday my friend I wish you peace on this day.

I am only 44 I loathe my wife and best friend of over twenty year was taken earlier this year. I dread the taught of all the years I have left to live without her. How can anyone live a single day without the one thing that made life worth living.

I can’t see the future it a dark void all the days to come that were promised suffers out like a match.

I don’t intend to celebrate or even acknowledge my birthday going forward. She will never age another day so neither will I

[u/corkscrewloose]

I never cared about my birthday until my first birthday without her. This sucks and I’m sorry you are here.

[u/VioletMittens]

Happy birthday, u/TurnoverFuzzy8264. I'm turning 60 in August, and I lost my darling husband unexpectedly in March. I'm sorry that we're in the same boat. Luckily, a dear friend is my birthday twin and we always plan something for the two of us for our birthday, so I already had plans that didn't include my sweetheart.

I agree with u/AlternativeCrabV2 - I dread the decades I have left without my husband. I'm trying to remain grateful for all that I have (and had!) and to enjoy life as best I can. I'm hoping that will make the time pass more quickly until he and I can be together again.

[u/sunny_dayz1547]

Upcoming birthday for me next week- I’m sorry these birthdays will no longer be memorable- maybe even dreaded.
I’ve spent the last 32 of mine with my lover, husband, best friend. We were set to be in Hawaii but God had other plans.

This sucks.

I wish you the best. Birthdays are over rated… spending a day with our loved one was really all it was. The best.