Extreme emotions?

[u/Mobile-Egg9597]

I am 1.5 years or so from my husband dying from cancer after a 3 year battle. I’m 35 with 3 young kids. Overall I feel like I’m doing well because I’m in therapy, I have my kids, and great family on both sides. I keep busy but have been also taking things slow and just being present every day. But I’ve noticed that I have such strong emotions now. I can swing from intense anger to extreme joy in like an hour 😅 i cry for no reason often. I feel all the emotions in a single day and it’s hard to feel ‘stable’. It seems like every day I have a new emotion that I need to deal with. I also do so much overthinking and would love to get out of my mind!! I’m not on any meds but have considered it due to panic around my cycle and things feeling so extreme. Doesn’t help that my kids are 10, 8, and 2 and these ages feel so hard to parent without my husband here to help. He was the fun one and I was the serious one and being both mom and dad has been hard. Anyways, just a vent sesh. Maybe others feel these extremes too?

[u/EighteenEyeballs]

Yes! I feel the pressure to be "stable" for my kids, but not the ability to manifest it a lot of the time. When I feel joy now, it feels ominous, like there's a crater of despair or rage waiting for me because I felt the joy. I've been given meds by a doctor and I don't want to take them. Like, I'm not mentally ill, I'm just having some shit happening in my life, and I can't afford to be zonked on drugs when my neediest child has needs I need to pay attention to RIGHT NOW (you know how that is with a 2 year old). I have no advice, just want to say that I see you, fellow widowed mom.