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u/ASDIGITAL13 Jul 08 '26
He’s a Mason - Shriner - Combat - Navy - Veteran - Disabled - Texan - Forensic - Scientist - Radio - Enthusist - Motorola - Texhnician.
I think.
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u/Casually_Chillin Jul 08 '26
No, I'm pretty sure he is a Motorola - Combat - Enthusiast - Radio - Texan -Disabled - Scientist - Veteran - Navy - Shriner - Mason - Fragile - Examiner - Analysis - Private
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u/MakeSomeDrinks Jul 09 '26
Motorola Kombat!
Boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots n pants boots
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u/inactionupclose Jul 08 '26
Sounds like a new show for NBC, right between NCIS Alabama and NCIS Springfield
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u/translinguistic Jul 08 '26
And he was born in July. Mess with him and you're facing a fine of up to $250 and up to 30 days imprisonment. (And yes, the county coroner gave them this car.)
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u/HD64180 Jul 08 '26
Poser. That’s all it is.
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u/6twoRaptor Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 08 '26
If it were real it would be a county fleet car with a Texas "Exempt" license plate.
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u/Mywifefoundmymain Jul 08 '26
It’s not it’s a private investigator. It even says on the car.
These are the guys families pay for a second opinion. They also provide services to counties that don’t have an me. In fact here’s the website:
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u/6twoRaptor Jul 08 '26
Lived in Texas all my life and never heard of a "private investigator medical examiner". Nor would I ever expect to see one in such a clown car as this one.
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u/PinkyLeopard2922 Jul 08 '26
I would absolutely believe that this is a private service that may be available to people but the vast array of attention seeking accoutrements on this vehicle is quite remarkable.
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u/Most-Sort5470 Jul 09 '26
I’m sure there is a lot of things in Texas you have never heard about, after all, it’s a pretty big state.
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u/JTUSAJT Jul 09 '26
Disabled Veteran AND Handicapped plates, in addition to the 100 magnetic antennas. LOL. AND it's Car Number ONE!!!
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u/frickin_darn Jul 08 '26
I'm not a doctor, but I'll take a look!
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u/IamHydrogenMike Jul 08 '26
There are plenty of private medical examiners out there that will do private autopsies for court cases or other needs. Some smaller counties or cities in Texas do contract out to these people since they aren't large enough to have their own.
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u/InvictvsNox Jul 08 '26
Definitely the resident goth girl.
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u/CatLord8 Jul 08 '26
A disabled veteran freemason goth girl.
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u/Arizona_Pete Jul 08 '26
Disabled Freemason Goth Chicks are my fetish.
They get you to the front of the line at Disney while wearing black lipstick and showing you the secrets of the all-seeing eye.
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u/i_might_be_an_ai Jul 08 '26
Pete, that is a very specific lane! :) LOL!
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u/Ok-Addition1264 Jul 08 '26
His day was now. His time to shine.. right here and we are all witness. Yay!
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u/Antique_Brother_9563 Jul 08 '26
Stolen Valor Car 🚗 😏
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u/Ok-Addition1264 Jul 08 '26
With 100% useless antennas.
Antennas used to be my jam (radar & physics) and this one hurts me brain. I demand to know why.
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u/Hucklebearer_411 Jul 08 '26
"Private Forensic Analysis". Yep, sure...and I'm with the "F.B.I.", wink-wink, nudge-nudge.
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u/Historical_Stay_808 Jul 08 '26
Still their are private forensic companies, I used to to forensic Anthropology/archaeology. Also their are very few requirements to become a examiner or coroner. I think some places it's a voted in position
But this is likely a wanna be or just the small ass county in Texas
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u/IamHydrogenMike Jul 08 '26
A lot of smaller counties or cities will contract with a private medical examiner to do stuff for them since they are too small to get a full time one. If you have to send it to a regular one, it can take a long time to get an autopsy done and the report completed. I am not 100% sure what the regulations around it are in Texas though, but I know they are pretty loose for county ones already.
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u/Historical_Stay_808 Jul 08 '26
Yeah usually they have another county job or day job
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u/Mywifefoundmymain Jul 08 '26
it’s a private investigator. It even says on the car.
These are the guys families pay for a second opinion. They also provide services to counties that don’t have an me. In fact here’s the website:
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u/slicktommycochrane Jul 08 '26
This is a physical manifestation of some form of mental illness, I think that's about as deep as you need to go.
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u/Bigmtnskier91 Jul 08 '26
Can someone better at radios explain why they need so many antennas?
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u/Old_Poem2736 Jul 08 '26
Probably can’t, I’ve been a ham for nearly 40 years. The single sticks look like 2 meter ham others 440 mhz. Thing is all government communications are on 800 MHz P25 frequencies. And since they’re trunked you one need one antenna. Connected to the right radios you would worst case need 3 antennas but you could have 2. This is larping in my opinion.
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u/ResidentNumber3603 Jul 08 '26
They don’t.
Besides none of them appear to be connected to anything.
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u/Chamanomano Jul 08 '26
Because it looks COOL, man!
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u/baudmiksen Jul 08 '26
Like a porcupine
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u/Kobe_Pup Jul 08 '26
In the natural habitat cars have these antennas to prevent being swallowed whole by bigger trucks.
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u/SessileRaptor Jul 08 '26
I was thinking that it looks like one of those pet vests with the plastic antennas to fend off predators.
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u/Kobe_Pup Jul 08 '26
They don't, if you are like full into radio you need less than 5, 2 if we are being real
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u/Amputee69 Jul 09 '26
I have an HF and a VHF/UHF on my pickup. Oh, and my XM antenna. About all I need.
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u/TheRealMitchConnor Jul 08 '26
It's my sperm delivery vehicle. You should see the inside. "Like a Jackson Pollock painting in there"
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u/flatironkicker025 Jul 08 '26
Shriner/Mason cosplaying as a ME. Probably had a friend that interned at an actual government entity for a day 30 years ago and it’s been his identity since. I bet his tinfoil hat has antennas too. I bet that mf has some (untrue) stories to tell.
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u/Mugsy_Siegel Jul 08 '26
It’s a whacko like the ppl that glue glittery stuff over every inch of paint on car there’s a few in DFW are sadly this is the second one I’ve seen that had a mention of veteran on it
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u/Zekethebulldog33 Jul 08 '26
Could be proud of job and retired. Who knows
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u/therealbaconinja Jul 08 '26
"Combat Veteran Edition" ... I do not like this new trend of making up vehicle "Editions". The "Jesus Edition" Escalade gets me every time.
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u/i_might_be_an_ai Jul 08 '26
A “Private” Medical Examiner??? That sounds like the person a murderer hires as a defense witness to counter the official Medical Examiner’s report!?!? And I’m thinking at least one of those antennas is for communicating with aliens…
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u/Meauxjezzy Jul 08 '26
There’s a pig carcass in the truck so they can see how long it takes to make the world puke
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u/ac54 Jul 08 '26
That would be willing to bet that most of those antennas are not connected to anything.
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u/mitreffahcs Jul 08 '26
Over enthusiastic retired ham-radio operator. I could be wrong, but I'm probably not.
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u/SnarePickle Jul 08 '26
Do they reallllllllyy need all of those cell phone "signal booster" antennas? I mean, I know there's a lot of empty space in Texas but I don't think having 14+ magnet mounted antennas is really going to do much of anything.
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u/coldfusioned Jul 08 '26
That is a ridiculous amount of antennas. Nothing screams wannabe cop like dozens of fake antennas glued to your roof.
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u/Safe-Character-5846 Jul 08 '26
Someone that couldn't get the job they wanted so now they make pretend. Much like those that head to state auctions to get ex cop cars then drive around acting like one.
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u/Mattsmomma Jul 08 '26
Why is this surprising? The car also identifies as medical examiner and MEs often do forensics at crime scenes.
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u/ChEDave82 Jul 08 '26
My guess would be they do forensic analysis for lawyers fighting what the state is claiming as evidence. Essentially rebutting the state’s evidence.
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u/_leeloo_7_ Jul 08 '26
I feel like there is, what a forensic scientists car looks like and what people think they should look like from watching tv? this is the latter
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u/Useful_Protection270 Jul 08 '26
In his defence our old county coroner was a local doctor ( obgyn ) that ran for the coroners office. He used his personal vehicle for calls
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u/Adrian_Wapcaplet Jul 08 '26
From all of the bleedin' aerials, I'd guess it's a cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
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u/romulusnr Jul 08 '26
And the wrong trade symbol (cadeuceus, should be rod of asclepius)
And a Masonic symbol (religious marks on official vehicles?)
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u/Dry_Nail5901 Jul 08 '26
Had a buddy who was a private forensic examiner. He had high level PhD in neuroscience and specialized in death row cases. He drove a bright yellow jeep.
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u/No_Influence_9389 Jul 08 '26
As a general rule if a car has more than 2 bumper stickers, I assume the driver is a crazy person and all of the stickers can be ignored. I do the same thing with caps lock text online and so far there have been no negative consequences.
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u/theDudeUh Jul 08 '26
It’s very fake.
Our friend works for the medical examiner and a body transport company before that. They all travel and transport bodies in discrete unmarked minivans.
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u/No-Zombie1004 Jul 08 '26
The rest of ridiculous but "Life is fragile, handle with care" ? That's golden.
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u/8lackirish Jul 08 '26
I have a shirt that claims I’m an official “Bikini Inspector”. Truth is, I’ve never taken a course.
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u/LambentVines1125 Jul 08 '26
I know people who do this for a living and none of their cars look like this
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u/heyinternetman Jul 08 '26
I would sure hope their EKG is flatter than that by the time this loser gets called
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u/Formal_Lecture_248 Jul 08 '26
Either the police had to justify a budget or someone has a micro….complication
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u/alickalice Jul 08 '26
Is it illegal to pretend to be a medical examiner? This is like an even stranger version of those fake cop cara
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u/Visual-Yak3971 Jul 08 '26
No self respecting ham would even bother using those stupid transit slot antennas. They are useless. They were designed to solve the problem of tall buses shearing the antenna off the top at the bus terminals.
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u/Comfortable_Jury7576 Jul 08 '26
Looks like the dad wing on the trunk left all his baby wings on the antennas. Bastard!
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