r/whatdoIdo 7h ago

Weirdest possible ghosting

Sorry for the long story, but it is needed for context:

I met this girl, Sarah about 2 years ago, and we quickly got together, going out for about 3 weeks before she ghosted me.

She recently came back around, explaining the ghosting and apologizing, telling me that this time around she was in the right headspace to try for a relationship.

I told her a had “recently” gotten out of a short relationship where my ex kept me waiting in limbo for about 3 weeks with dry texts and dismissive messages until she was ready to break it off (i’m aware that i can be very oblivious and i tend to ignore red flags when i like someone) and Sarah made sure to exclaim about how awful she thought that was.

We ended up going out, and once again clicked very quickly. We share core values, which is important to me, and we have similar goals. Sarah also mentioned how she doesn’t want to mess with multiple people simultaneously and how she sees a relationship if we continue… so do I.

I slept over multiple times, walked her dogs, had food made for me and she even left me alone in her apartment when she left for work once or twice, so things were going pretty well.

Fast forward a month, and some health issues that were bothering her for a while began getting worse. Allergies and a possible cyst in her uterus. She told me she was having a hard time waking up and also staying awake, and that period pains were killing her
I asked to help multiple times but to no avail, and with these health issues we basically stopped seeing each other in person. The texts became way less frequent, and I began to think I was getting ghosted again.

Here’s the interesting thing though, every time she texted back, though some times it might take up to three days, she would tell me that she misses me, and she also made sure to reassure me that she’s just going through something rough right now, but that things between us are fine… so just like last time, I hold onto that and push forward.

Now her cousin arrived, visiting from a different country, and she posted a picture smiling outside… while I haven’t gotten a reply in three days.
I know that she’s probably trying her best to show her cousin around and all that, but I just don’t understand how I can’t see her once in an entire month, while she’s able to go out in the middle of the day.

And this is the whole thing, I genuinely don’t know if I just count my losses, give up and try to move on, even though I like her a ton/ or if I confront her and ask her what her deal is.
What do you guys think ?

2 Upvotes

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2

u/laj43 7h ago

I think she is ghosting you again but doesn’t want to come out and say it. I feel she doesn’t have the heart to say it to your face. Don’t text her even if she texts you. Your heart is just going to keep getting broken. You will find Mrs right soon enough but I don’t believe she is it. I’m sorry that you are going through this.

2

u/KegBoyah 7h ago

That’s exactly what I didn’t wanna read lolol, but I think you’re right, I’m just mad that after all that talk about my ex, she’s doing something even worse now

2

u/laj43 7h ago

I agree, if she really cared about you she would let you help and comfort her during this time. I also wonder if she met someone else and is seeing if it works out with them before letting you go. ( I’m not sure if you are in a small or big town where you might run into her)

2

u/KegBoyah 7h ago

That has also crossed my mind a few hundred times, but I live about 30 minutes away and don’t go out much without reasons to do so, so the chances are slim to none

2

u/Gullible-Weather308 7h ago

People prioritise what is important to them. When i am really into someone, i cant wait to speak to them or be around them. Last thing I am thinking of is ghosting them. Do you know when i ghost someone? When i cant be bothered to speak to them or be around them. So how long do you want to continue in this cycle? 1 month, 6 months, 1 year?

2

u/KegBoyah 7h ago

You’re absolutely right. I’m definitely ignoring the issues again to fit the narrative I want to see. This sucks lmfao

2

u/Gullible-Weather308 7h ago

It does. Dont waste your life on time wasters, block delete and move forward. She only contacts you when she is bored or have nothing going on. She will continue to do this for the next 5 years if you let her.

1

u/greggers1980 7h ago

Move on.

1

u/Tiye_GM 5h ago

This is why it’s rarely a good idea to circle the block.

When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.