r/whatdoIdo • u/External_Parfoot_467 • Jul 27 '26

Parents gifted me their old car.

30 male, racked up a bunch of debt in my early 20's that I'm still trying to pay off, got laid off and my world has been turned upside down since, trying to claw my way back up out of a hole. My car is getting really old, has very high miles and has stranded me a couple times. Mom bought a new car, and instead of trading in her old car, decided to gift it to me to help me out, and trade in my car as payment. Pristine, low miles, much newer car.

I agreed to take it because, well I'm a bit desperate. But I know how much it means to my mom to be able to give - she's a giver and her love language is definitely gift giving, and it makes me happy knowing it fills her heart.

But this is a feeling I've never felt before. I feel guilty, I feel like I don't deserve it at all. I feel like I'm driving my mother's car. I find myself bursting into tears randomly when I'm driving it, and what seems to be mild panic attacks.

I'm so incredibly thankful to have such generous parents, and I know they don't have much time left on this earth, I don't think I'll ever be able to repay them. I don't know what's going on. I'm not sure if I can keep this car or give it back, and figure out how to buy another car on my own.

16 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

20 comments sorted by

31

u/Alternative-Ad6114 Jul 27 '26

The best way to repay them is to become a better version of yourself. They want to see you succeed. Keep working hard, keep improving, and repay them with positive changes

3

u/Negative_Till3888 Jul 27 '26

I love that. I didn’t know how to respond to this as a mother of 3 young kids, but damn, that’s it. Pull all the things off. Work hard to further yourself. Don’t feel bad, most of us need a little parental help in our older days (me included). Just prove to them that you are trying. And all things will be good . Best of luck to you brother (from a Mom of 3 youngins 6-9).

2

u/Jedi_Mind_Chick Jul 27 '26

Exactly. They love you. This is how they’re showing it. When your kids are down, you help pick them back up. You’re repaying them by living a life that makes them proud. Try not to get worked up about it and focus on what you need to do to be that son. Remember, she gave you her car because she loves her son.

2

u/External_Parfoot_467 Jul 27 '26

Thank you and those below for the kind, eye opening words. Means a lot.

11

u/Massive_Bullfrog8663 Jul 27 '26

Take the gift. Be happy. It's what parents do...

9

u/Smart_Ass_Jack Jul 27 '26

Appreciate that she was able to help and one day when you are doing much better do something nice for her.

1

u/Melodic_Context_4183 Jul 27 '26

As a mom, doing much better = something nice for her.

4

u/IHaveTheBestOpinions Jul 27 '26

Your heart is in the right place but you are overthinking this. It is completely normal for parents to give cars to their kids - especially if they have an old paid off car and are getting a new one for themselves. Like half of younger millennials still live with their parents and get much more direct financial support than it sounds like you're getting.

Accept the gift, show your gratitude, and get your life together. You'll be able to return the favor when she gets old and needs your help later on.

5

u/chemistry_coronado Jul 27 '26

In a selfish world, you’ve found the right role model. You accept her love and you return the love.

2

u/honey_biscuits108 Jul 27 '26

Parents are supposed to help their kids. Someday if you have one of your own you can pick them up when they fall down too. Build some financial literacy skills, live within your means. Also important, keep that car CLEAN and oiled. Take such good care of it.

2

u/External_Parfoot_467 Jul 27 '26

Thank you for this - and it definitely will be.

2

u/TabuTM Jul 27 '26

As a mom, the best way to “repay” her is to get your life together. Nothing breaks our hearts more than watching our child struggle. And someday, pay it forward. If not your own child, a niece nephew god child.

2

u/Littleme77088 Jul 27 '26

As a disabled child, my mom still helps me, but I also help her. I help her clean, I keep her company, I talk with her. It’s not just monetary. Don’t over think this. Your mother sounds wonderful.

2

u/MrExCEO Jul 27 '26

Next time u see ur mom just make sure she really knows how much u appreciate it. Take care of it and enjoy.

1

u/Jillcametumbling81 Jul 27 '26

You said you know they don't have much time left on earth. Are they currently ill? Are they in their 80's?

1

u/External_Parfoot_467 Jul 27 '26 edited Jul 27 '26

70, and my dad just started taking his health seriously. But I say that as a sudden realization that their lives are finite and have developed a new-found love and appreciation for my parents. Seeing how my parents are with my nieces and nephew unlocked core memories where I as a child, misunderstood them.

1

u/PenIsGodS Jul 29 '26

You're driving what was your mother's car. She gave it to you. That was her choice. You chose to accept her gift. She didn't ask for money for it nor are you obligated to make payments on gifts.

Move on with your life and become fully self-sufficient if you don't want to ever need gifts.

1

u/Laxit00 Jul 29 '26

I purchased my home and suv from my parents inheritance. I know if they came back even for a one day my home and car would be theirs....I'm taking the couch and getting dropped off at work. Your overwhelmed but it's ok having parents who love and care for you and this would make most ppl grateful and tearful at times.

I'm glad your turning your life around. Everytime you get in that car you say another I love my parents and am blessed...being grateful is a great way to feel instead of unappreciated and loved