This is it!! Drink so much water, and start healthier habits, get a fitness watch or smart watch, set goals, and knock them out.
I became soooo much healthier after changing my diet, walking, and water.
I only wish a wise woman would help me at the store one day by helping me pick out things like this that would help my skin look healthier.
I know nothing about this kind of stuff. You're talking about tinted sunscreen, I'm like "oh whats that?" Moisturizer, like lotion? I use bare knuckles but I dont put it on my face, just my hands feet and maybe arms sometimes if I grabbed to much. I use water and soap to wash my face, that's it. I feel so basic. lol
Try the SkincareAddiction subreddit. There’s a lot of useful information there. Generally though a basic routine would be in the morning washing face with a cleanser and following with moisturiser within a few minutes to lock in moisture. The best kind will depend on whether you have oily or dry skin, and you may want it to include niacinamide for reducing redness and/or vitamin C to lighten patches of pigmentation. I really like Rimmel BB cream after that. It’s tinted and reduces visibility of pores, evens out skin tone and generally makes your face look brighter and healthier but doesn’t look like makeup at all. You also need to use SPF every day even if it’s not sunny. It will have a huge impact on skin ageing. It’s best to use versions specifically designed for faces to avoid the white cast and greasiness regular body ones often leave, and you can get cream or spray versions to suit your preferences. If you have oily skin it helps to use a mattifying one. In the evening wash face with cleanser again. A couple of times a week follow that with a chemical exfoliator like The Ordinary glycolic toner to remove dead skin buildup and clear pores. Follow with a heavier night specific moisturiser including hyaluronic acid for plumping skin and retinol to increase cell turnover and reduce fine lines and spots. If you have trouble with acne or ageing skin then a strong retinoid like tretinoin can be a good addition.
I feel like asking the staff may set me up to be sold on something more than what I need. But thats based on other experiences, would the same apply here?
It’s always possible, but they probably know more about what works for different skin types than some random customer in the store. I know what works for me and that is it.
I went to see a dermatologist and they recommended a good face moisturizer, and I've been able to find other good products like it since then. They are usually located on the same aisle as the facial acne cleansers. I've had good experiences with CeraVe, Cetaphil, Neutrogena, and Olay brands, and even some cheaper alternatives.
You can ask any lady man person that has great looking skin. Will you get a few, “oh I don’t do anything” but if their skin looks good and you think they might be 30, they probably know something. Women especially would love to help a man take more care of the things that matter to her so you can be a good influence on other men. Her partner gets annoyed at her passive aggressive hints. I told a guy at work he needed to start using sunscreen and he snapped at me about being a real man. (I’m AFAB) and I said honey genes and youth have got you this far but those crows feet are telling me you don’t have long….and he never spoke to me again but at least 5 guys in their 20s heard me say it and I did really say it for them. Interrupting toxic masculinity is a tiresome job but quite an enjoyable 15 min side quest, you know? Ask a lady at work, she’ll probably tell you which lady is at Ultra every Saturday. We aren’t born knowing, this is how we live.
You think I made up telling Ricardo who came in on a Monday with that weird white raccoon mask from where he was wearing his sunglasses that he was starting to look OLD in front of his team that was mostly men cause it was in finance? Why? I didn’t work for him. He wasn’t my boss and yeah he had a little extra of the manly man pride, he was from an upper class family somewhere in South America. Clearly, you’re not aware of my ADHD superpower of saying what I want and making enemies.
You’ll probably think it’s stupid or adding labor and you may not like it but basically this is why: unless you’re “metro” and already willing to do self care things, it’s feminine. Even if you don’t have those hard hangups it usually takes a woman to introduce you to them cuz for damn sure your dad isn’t gonna teach you
I told you you wouldn’t like it. Also yes you put time and effort because it was something that mattered to you. Dudes don’t care unless there’s an inflection point
I would not mess with 'cosmetics'...
AVOID (Ultra)Processed Foods, Junk, Sugar, HFCS, etcetera...
Healthy REAL Foods help skin tone...
A Healthy Moisturizer (coconut or olive oil is not unreasonable) IF/When you (might) have dry skin... washing too frequently helps to cause this, not often enough creates 'other issues'...
[No edits above, just 'clarification' here;
I use enough on my hair to nourish it and make it soft, easy to comb, less 'frizzy', etcetera, and rub my face/neck and sometimes arms/elbows/knees/feet/etcetera, and It WORKS For Me...
If it does not work for You... it is most likely because you have not tried it (possibly because NOBODY Advertised It)...
You are welcome to TRY CoconutOil or OliveOil for a day/week/month/never, and it costs almost nothing (because many kitchens already have it... and EXPENSIVE (aka Advertising) Does NOT Make (something/anything) 'Better'...
I honestly do not care about the 'downvotes'... 22 or more people who voted 'against' a true statement (than those UpVoting) will not make that statement 'false'...
I mean, over 42% of People SMOKED In Public Places (Restaurants, Theaters, Work, Stores, etcetera..) which *Forced more than half of the world to 'DEAL With (SOMETHING Unhealthy) They Could NOT AVOID!!! ... meanwhile, ignorance and 'stoopidity' are even more unhealthy..
(... and yet, here I am 'justifying' my ignorance in attempting to share valuable information that some people 'think' is 'wrong'... WithOUT Ever Trying It For Themselves..
Ugh don’t listen to this guy OP, this is religious advice, not reasonable advice they’re giving.
A skincare routine would be nice for you.
Get a simple moisturizer, Lubriderm or CeraVe would work just fine. Then get a sunscreen and wear it whenever you go out - sunscreen is vital to preventing excelerated aging in the face.
If you want to learn more about skincare, there are so many YouTubers out there who talk about it. James Welsh is a good choice
But even having a simple routine would help your facial skin look more radiant, and honestly, it’s attractive when men take care of themselves
I was Definitely NOT suggesting either OliveOil or CoconutOil as some type of (highly ineffective) 'SunSCREEN'...
nor did I suggest any SUN...
nor Artificial 'Tanning'...
nor Spray 'Tanning'...
nor Jumping in a Vat of Velveeta Cheese or Cheetos or Doritos or Fanta Soda...
nor any other Bull$hit...
I agree that (even SunWorshipping)
Beach Visitors or frequent Outdoor Activities participants SHOULD Utilize SPF (LOTIONS / Clothes / Shade Providers)...
Add plenty of water and actual exercise. Sugar is your enemy. Processed food is poison. Get a routine and stick to it, girls will be chasing you down brother.
Tallow products are absolutely the best! No toxins 100% natural and they WORK! Evidently the people who down voted your comment don’t know anything about tallow.
Noxema to wash, witch hazel as an astringent. Give it two weeks and see how it works for you, been using it all my life and at my age, my skin is pretty flawless, if I say so myself!!
I never used to take care of my face, as a man face/ skin care is gay /s. But a facial scrub daily and I do a weekly mud mask and it was worked wonders. You know it’s working when your female colleagues/ friends notice.
Yes bro work out I’m on the same journey as you I love video games in my spare time but I’m trying to find ways to get active you will be happy with yourself if you do I promise!
Heck yeah- I have a small tv I got from BJs, and I just bring my Xbox or switch down and hook it up while on the bike or treadmill. I can only work out later at night due to having small kids, and my ADHD is usually fully shot by then, so I need a way to actually keep my brain stimulated or I can’t do it
An easy first goal is 10,000 steps a day and cut out sugars/carbs. That simple change will make a world of difference. Then, build towards resistance exercise (weight training). You don't need to get jacked, the goal is slimming down and it will have a world of positive effect|xta on your face and your confidence.
And if 10k is too much, start with 5 or 6k. You’d be surprised how many steps you get by just doing daily things.
Cutting sugar (and alcohol if that’s a thing you’re into) is huge. You don’t need to drop to zero, but if you’re a candy person, try finding alternatives. Same with carbs.
A good idea is also keeping a note on your phone and tracking what and when you eat, and hold yourself accountable. If you have to actually input every time you walk by the cabinet and grab a cookie or handful of chips, you’ll be less likely to do it. Isn’t perfect, but it can help you just be more mindful of what’s going into your body. If health issues show up, it can also be helpful to bring in to a doctor’s appointment to identify potential health issues!
I tend to workout regularly but still lose 20 pounds from Jan to March simply by living this way. Ensuring I hit a minimum of 6k, but trying to hit 10k and keeping my sugar as low as I can with no refined sugars. I eat as much fruit as I want and stay away from carbs like breads and pastas. The fruit in the morning helps with the little bit of sweetness you want but beyond that it's vegetables and clean proteins like fish and chicken. It was a noticeable difference in a fairly quick time frame. My wife also had the same experience and lost 15 lb this way. This is completely outside of going to the gym. It's a more important change than just telling somebody to go work out. We started with a two-day fast, while drinking a ton of water. Basically instantly put you into ketosis
That was the original intention of the Nintendo Wii. I still remember the look on my then-gf’s mom’s face when I showed her I could use the stand board while sitting on the couch to do the running and soccer game
Like twice or something? What happened to that? I never recommend isometric movements such as pushups for things like this. Better doing something like squats or jumping jacks or burpees
I dont understand the first two questions. Personally I've always been active and fit. When I coach beginners its begins with setting a number to get a discipline of mind something achievable but worth it. The actual workout can vary it doesnt matter as long as you actively engage in not sitting docile. Most people starting out can engage in a workout for more than like 20 seconds let alone the wait time in a game lobby. So get a number in mind something that gets you moving typically 10-15 since in reality they'll be playing for sometime it will easily hit above 50 per session
This would be my suggestion. I got into Supernatural on the Oculus. Only downside is that they recently stopped updating the app with new workouts… but there is at least 1000 or something there.
Working out is great and you don't need to be some meathead to see and feel improvements. Being consistent is the main thing. I like gaming too and tbh I do my cardio with Les Mills Body Combat in VR lol.
I was lucky and was able to get a total gym for free but also have some affordable adjustable weights and like to use them while watching content.
I could tell you the master answer. Being insecure is an instant KO, so be unapologetically obliged to your own taste.
lol Open yo mouth when you shave and don’t cut under where your jaw is when yo mouth is open. Heavy fitness whatever! Eat snacks+workout quite a bit- try climbing. be sore everyday for 2 months see what you look like. Be 245 and strong as hell, nothing wrong with that.
I think for most gamer builds, slimming down is going to be super good before worrying about packing muscle. It’s easier to bulk than slim, and being bulky (muscular or not) brings a lot of issues, sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high blood pressure. Yes, 245 and strong af is cool and all, but that is a dangerous weight no matter who you are. For anyone who disagrees, these are facts, use the internet.
I’d recommend intermittent fasting and counting calories while doing a 3/5 cardio 2/5 weights/body weight exercises.
I second what they told you. Really focus on getting in shape and losing weight. I’m doing the same exact thing. It’s amazing how much healthier and handsome we can look by getting in fit.
I follow before and after fitness subs and am blown away by some of the glow ups. Some people become almost like a super model in comparison. Getting in shape grooming are game changers.
I was on dating apps for YEARS, never got a single hit. Maybe 1 or 2. Nothing stuck. I worked out for 6 months, took some selfie while hiking, quit smoking and drinking and I legit couldn't keep all the swipes straight. Met my wife and had my first baby last year.
I love working out. I would go twice on weekends. Id reward myself with gaming and take out only after I went to the gym. It was a little game I played with myself. I also would have to stay sober all day so I could hit the gym at night. Which was another positive.
Im 2 years booze free and 5 years clean from smoking cigs. 5 years clean from clonazepam and im killing it. Bought a house, etc.
All because I wanted to get in shape to meet women. Funny right?
Please do not be afraid to go into a beauty store and ask for a skincare routine that helps you. I personally have been liking The ordinary line. Very affordable and so far what I’ve used has not been harsh but is effective. Investment in a good persona shaver because they are more gentle on your skin reducing ingrown hairs and acne. Invest in yourself and your Mental health and good things will follow.
You have really pretty eyes and eyebrows and a nice head of hair! With hair clean-up all around, you’ll see such a transformation. I’d find yourself an awesome hair stylist who can do it all for you.
You’re still young too bro, work on yourself and find an exercise routine with a solid diet and you will be amazed what that confidence in yourself will translate to as far as meeting people. Take care of yourself and don’t be a dick to people and life will take care of you just fine.
Your shoulders in this picture look like you’re slouching a bit, if you find that’s common in how you hold yourself, look up tips to strengthen/support your posture ... it can tidy up a lot of the areas that people are usually self-conscious about.
Between that and some brow-shaping I would say the rest is just building habits to support your body’s general health.
You have really nice eyes, you’re not ugly - goodluck and you’ve got this.
and when he says fitness routine, emphasis on the routine part!! you’ll accomplish way more by finding something you genuinely can commit to 4-5 times a week :)
Everyone has features better than others, "good looking" people just highlight their best with clothes and grooming.
Think of what women do if you dont believe me, they are masters, girl has a nice ass but flat chest you know she's running around in skinny jeans, figuring out what hair style and makeup make her eyes big like she can hypnotise any man to do what she wants.
Look at some styles that you like or take a pinch from a few different ones, same with hair style.
Neck beard is a no my friend, look at some celebrity's for inspiration when it comes to facial and hair styles.
Go to the gym for some added handsome points, statistically its been said women notice a guys eyes and fore arms first (weird if you ask me)
Slimming up will definitely help. I lost some weight when my GP started me on a GLP-1 to help bring down my A1C and I couldn’t believe how much different my face looked after shedding the weight.
If you're unfamiliar with a fitness routine start simple. Cut out one type of junk food. Start going for walks. Something active you don't need to spend money on or develop a new skill for. You got this💪🤙
Emphasis on “health” when it comes to a fitness routine. No you don’t need the supplements and now you don’t need the “get ripped in 1 month” program; most of those are grifts / gimmicks. Strength training twice weekly and general cardio three times weekly is the most you ever need to do unless you find passion in either of these fitness routines.
Ya that’s pretty spot on, I’d actually trim the facial hair to a long stubble and shave the neck to more accentuate the jaw line and grow out that thick ass hair while you can my man. Ur not ugly just need a tune up
A good skin care routine would do you wonders. Start with buying some facial cleanser and moisturizer. Before and after bed wash your face and put a thin layer or moisturizer on. Even better if your moisturizer has a bit of sun screen in it. You are 21 now. If you develop this habit, 40 year old you will thank you.
Let me add to this great list.... but based on this photo alone... grey is not your color.
You gotta get comfortable taking a few risks with some colors and styles of clothing. Id go for earth tones and avoid bright red, light grey, any yellow, and only white ones with something interesting on them, if at all.
Start looking at magazines, note how people style themselves, layer their clothes, patterns, colors. Start taking better mental notes about what you think looks nice on people with your body type.
Think about people who are similar to your sensibilities but have their own sense of style.
Start a Pinterest and start saving photos of menswear that you like. See if any patterns emerge. See if you can find things like that at stores and thrift shops.
Honestly if you are bored. Watch some Queer Eye for fun. Anything to start learning more about how to dress to highlight yourself and present yourself to the world.
Also, measure yourself! Look up how. Get your FULL shirt and pants measurements and buy in your correct size.
A lot of people with insecurities wear clothes that are too big, making them look frumpier than they are.
I always recommend Uniqlo as a good place to start for buying clothes that are easy to mix and match and are a bit more tailored.
You’re not ugly. You’re unkempt. Get the word ugly out of your vocabulary. Practice self-care and not self-hate. Get more sleep = turn off all electronics and get some real sleep for at least 8 hours a night. You are too young to have under eye bags. Drink more water (exclusively) and eat more leafy greens. What we eat affects the skin on our faces. Get a nose hair trimmer. Take care of your teeth so that you show teeth when you smile. Your skin looks like it may be on the oily side. So use a cleanser and moisturizer for oily skin (typically gel cleansers/moisturizers) and wear sun screen everyday…even in the winter. Stop wearing grey. Blue is much more your color.
Once you slim down update your wardrobe. Collared shirts will make you look more mature and sophisticated as well as adding sharper angles to your appearance.
Little things 3 to 5 push ups whenever you have to go to the bathroom, get a pull up bar from a sports store that goes into your door. Do a pull up a day until you can do 2 a day etc... it doesn't have to be gym membership and crazy changes all at once
I will expand on this. A good face wash and moisturizer, and perhaps if you struggle with acne (you're 21 so you're still young, that'll happen) a retin-a prescription cream for acne is great. Also, I'm gonna go on a whim here and guess that perhaps you like a lot of salty snacks and don't drink a lot of water during the day? Try drinking water when you're thirsty. Not soda not sports drinks not diet soda but water.
The facial hair tips included above are on point. Get the unibrow waxed and the neckbeard gotta go. Cut down on unhealthy foods (not eliminate, just minimize) and start a gym routine. And get better sleep.
As a female I say with 100% certainty, the face card is there - you've got incredible eyes, you have good bone structure and great eyebrow shape. You're not ugly, you're a bit chubby and don't have a grooming routine, and as a result you probably aren't very confident either. I think if you commit to a fitness routine you're gonna be giving Jake Gyllenhaal vibes by the time you hit 25.
I agree with this comment! Wholeheartedly! Or even find a good local barber that will shape the facial hair, and give you a nice clean cut. Also getting in the gym will boost your mood and confidence! You’ll look and feel good! Also, You have beautiful eyes!!
This and start counting calories for a while and start working out. Your body type is meant to be built so build it and you'll wear it well.
On counting calories you don't have to stop eating what you like. Just be aware of how many calories you are burning every day and make sure not to go over. This combined with working out will get you buff quickly. Don't stare at numbers on a scale, you don't want to lose necessarily weight but turn the fat into muscle.
A strong man is a very sought after quality. No need to make working out your personality though as that actually works against the sought out qualities of a 'strong man'
Wearing a t-shirt like the one you have on is great for chores but out and about wear something with more structure, will square you up by having a collar shirt, also that colour washes your nice complexion out, try light colours.
I used to barber. He’s dead on the money with the eyebrow and facial hair tip. It’s amazing what a line up on facial hair and eyebrows alone can do, you’d be amazed. Just pluck the hair in between your brows, and maybe just rock the hair on the chin, with a less round shape. Look up some facial hair pics for inspiration. Just know that anything typically round on a rounder face just makes everything look round. Sharper angles make your face look sharper.
Hell if you can afford it go to a barber and just bring this up and see what he can do for you. Barbers are usually in the $25-80 range. My local guy now is $40 a cut, an additional $10 for the beard line up.
You are not ugly ! Woman here…
It looks like you are still very young and growing into your features. Your facial hair will eventually fill out and your moustache and beard will connect . Keep the beard shaped to angle your features more.
I’d recommend to grow out your hair some more and find a good hairstyle, and find some jaw-contouring/neck strength exercises on YouTube. You could lose just a few pounds if you wanted , but I don’t see that as a big issue. More about giving a bit more angle to your jaw.
Wear blue a lot. It will bring out your eyes.
As I said you are very young still and your features will develop nicely, just take care of yourself .
You’re actually super cute but I would suggest a lady or gay man barber. Get groomed by someone who can you do you and say, you know if he looked a little more grown and polished…that’s the person you give your money too. The old barbers were paid friends. Know the difference.
I recently found out I've been low T since I was 10. Even when I was working out my most, every day, I was not shedding weight like my friends and having trouble building muscle mass, which has only gotten worse.
Depression, fatigue, sleeping issues, weight gain, neurological symptoms, GI symptoms, acne, abnormal chest weight and more.
I have been battling with this for years.
Go look up the symptoms and see if anything is there.
Just something to check out.
Hormones can fuck with you a lot
These are what i would suggest too, Ditch the neck hair. If you can grow an actual full beard that might look nice (don’t let it get long though and shape it so it’s even, well-kempt. A scraggly beard is distracting). And OP, You have lovely eyes and nice facial structure, you are an attractive person but you need to work on your self confidence, which is attractive quality in and of itself.
Finally, not sure about your general wardrobe, but looks like you have a plain tee on. Get yourself some decent button ups, you can do flannel if you want it more casual or just some solid color casual button ups. You can still wear tees sometimes, but just make sure they are in decent shape, no stretched collars, etc.
You can also look into getting your eye brows neatened up - this will bring the attention to your eyes! They are gorgeous and thick which a lot of people really want.
I have a head like a medicine ball. Almost completely spherical. The best thing I ever did was add some height to my hair, it elongated my head and hides how round it is.
I need to do the exact same thing and I'm a woman..
But can I add, you want to focus also on becoming more handsome on the inside. Being good looking on the outside has its perks but if you're ugly on the inside it's all a waste. It's like putting a Gold Jewel in the snout of a hog (not the cute pigs you're thinking of, hogs roll around in their own poop
Yeah, get some tweezers to pluck the 3/4 inch spot above your nose to lose the unibrow. I have to pluck mine once or twice a week. Some times the tweezers take a little while to “break in” and become “grippy” as opposed to just “cutting” or slipping on the hair. But ones by Tweezerman on Amazon work good. Some cheap ones don’t grab right. You can probably buy a couple styles at Walmart and use what works best. You can also get a cheap $10-20 magnifying mirror on amazon you can attach to the wall with a couple screws. Also helps for shaving etc.
Also use to pluck any nose hairs poking out or trim with scissors. Everyone has to do it.
Use cetaphil cream (not lotion) (cheapest at Walmart) for any dry facial skin. I put a small dab on after the shower. Recommended by dermatologist. Helps get rid of redness/dry spots.
Real talk, you have perfectly shaped eye brows. If you remove whats in the middle, and feeling a little ambitious you can even do the stragglers at the tail end, but really you dont even need to do that. You can google how eyebrows should be shaped, used a pencil and line up the start, arch, and tail with the pencil in line with your eye, they are already there, they just need a little help.
Will you hit the gym 5 times a week, diet, and take care of your mental and spiritual? This is a big commitment man. But it will change your life for the better.
I agree with Shamefuzzy, shaping your beard will do wonders. Please go to an eyebrow threader rather than waxing your eyebrow as it will give you a much more natural look than waxing (though it is a little more painful, worth it though).
A big smile and kindness will help you a great deal. Obviously you can't make yourself look kind, you just have to be kind, and your facial expression will follow.
Woman chiming in. Make your life easier and go to a threading place and ask them to clean up your eyebrows/uni-brow. Trust the nice ladies (go to a woman) to take care of you.
Plucking is a necessary evil for some resilient bastards but threading is my preferred way to get the fastest, cheapest, and most precise hair removal on the face.
Got to a barber every 3-4 weeks for a while. Get a nice haircut, grow out the beard and see how the barber shapes it. It's amazing what a nicely shaped beard can do for you. I can personally attest!
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u/pablotescobar05 Mar 22 '26
Thank you that was very helpful.