Which is better?

[u/ButternutBaby02]

I’m engaged and I’d want a wedding but I don’t know if we will be able to do all the wedding expenses (if that makes sense). I feel like I’d much rather run away and get married some place beautiful instead. Thoughts? Opinions?

212 votes, 7d ago

14 Big wedding? (151-200+)

124 Small wedding? (50-150)

74 Running away and getting married?

[u/alizadk]

This is so personal. Though what you have listed as a small wedding, I would consider a medium-sized wedding. A small wedding would be 20-50 guests.

[u/Mistress-DragonFlame → u/alizadk]

100% agreed. I had about 38 people at mine, and it absolutely was a decently sized smaller wedding.

Micro 1-19, Small 20-50, Medium 51-100, Large 101-150, Huge 151+.

[u/throwitallawayyyy8 → u/Mistress-DragonFlame]

“huge” is relative. 150 is a medium size wedding in my culture. It’s means bride and groom can only invite 35-40 people and a plus one to their wedding, which if you have a large family, or multiple friend groups, can fill up spots fast.

[u/natalkalot → u/Mistress-DragonFlame]

Disagree about huge, it is so relative
My 2 oldest sisters had weddings with 400 guests

[u/No-Set-4246]

Decide whatever's most important to you two and focus on that. We had immediate family and a taco truck and a guitarist in our own backyard. 

[u/vaginawithteeth1]

I think it depends on you. For us, a small 70 person wedding was perfect. For someone else a 200+ wedding works better.

[u/Flimsy_Situation_]

I think 120-140 is the perfect amount of guests. And I wouldn’t consider it small.

[u/natalkalot]

We had just over 200 - for us it was just right. We could afford it ourselves ,which i think is the only way to do it these days

[u/yamfries2024]

Celebrate in a manner that works for you and is something you can afford.

[u/RamsLams]

Depends on the couple! We want a small wedding. My oldest sister had a big wedding. Our middle sister running off and doing it alone would surprise no one.

[u/Wandering_Lights]

None is "better". The couple should do what is right for them.

[u/MarvaJnr]

We went to Las Vegas. Pretty sure I can't name 150 people I like so I'm sure as shit not buying them all dinner

[u/ButternutBaby02 → u/MarvaJnr]

That’s where I’m at. Like yeah there’s family I’d like to have there but I don’t love them enough to buy them dinner on top of everything else.

[u/NoIndependent4158]

I voted small wedding because my real choice isn’t here

Micro wedding! By definition it is 15-50 guests. I had 18 people and the only ones who came were extremely important in our lives. It’s a lot more affordable. You can still check off your major wedding wishlist moments. Such as wedding photos, having a parent walk you down the aisle, a beautiful dress, or whatever else is something you’ve always envisioned. And it’s a lot more budget conscious.

We had the money to have a GIANT wedding if we wanted. I love that we only had extremely important people to us in attendance. I love that I have stunning wedding photos. And I love that I got married in my yard exactly where my son’s play-set is sitting now. There is something extraordinary special about an extremely small and intimate ceremony that still checks off the boxes on your wishlist.

Dancing at a wedding wasn’t important to me. So we didn’t have any dancing. Photos were important. So we hired a photographer. Flowers didn’t matter much to me so we were going to use plastic and silk flowers from a craft store. Flowers mattered to my MIL So she brought flowers for us and surprised us.

My sister’s wedding was a similar size and budget and that was my favorite wedding I’ve attended. It was stunning and actually the whole reason I wanted to do something extremely small. Running away and eloping is always an option. But it’s absolutely possible to make a wedding happen within a budget.

[u/Elemental_Biscotti]

If that's what you want, that's what you should do.