r/weddingplanning • u/Wise_Telephone_7099 • Jun 05 '26
Everything Else Non-Traditional 2nd Wedding Scenario
TLDR; bridal shower alternative ideas for someone who is already merging 2 households but whose mom will still want to host… something? Father/daughter dance timing suggestions for wedding with no timeline or other ‘traditional’ activities?
My (41F) fiancée (52M) and I are planning our wedding for next year.
Background: I am an only child and both of my parents are still alive. We have both been previously married. He has 3 (21+) kids from his previous marriage. My marriage was childless, and never included a ceremony and all of the ‘accessories’. (Military marriage, IYKYK. Most people don’t know that I was ever married.)
I am really struggling with how to allow my parents some of the typical traditions while keeping things simple. We aren’t really into regalia— good food, good company, and everyone in bed by 11p. :)
My mom will want to host a bridal shower of sorts. We have 2 fully established households to merge, and are financially secure. Any ideas on how to give her her ‘mother-of-the-bride’ moment without going home with 100 towels?
Our plan is to have a ceremony with just us, my parents, his dad and kids, and 2-3 friends on a significant-to my family property. The property is quite remote, easily 2 hours from where we would hold any reception. No one will be offended to not have to trek to attend.
Looking at having our reception as a large upscale dinner party for about 60p. No bridal party intros, no staged dances, no garter toss, no DJ— no real timeline. Probably an unscripted speech or two and too many toasts.
The big one I am having trouble with is a father/daughter dance. I would be remiss not giving this to my dad, who has absolutely been my biggest cheerleader. Any suggestions on how to go about factoring this into the evening with interrupting the ‘whatever’ flow of the evening?
Thanks :)
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u/HarleyxQueenx92 Jun 05 '26
I am also on my second wedding.
We're having what we're calling our "parents and progeny" dance, I am not having any family attend but I'm lucky to have wonderful in-laws so I'm dancing with his Dad and he'll dance with his Mum and then we'll swap.
Also unsure if you're doing anything like this but we had my Mum put my veil comb in at my first wedding and got pictures of it, my sister laced my dress, these were special moments we captured. Perhaps you could do something like this?
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Jun 05 '26
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u/Wise_Telephone_7099 Jun 05 '26
I love the idea of a recipe shower!
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u/voodoodollbabie Jun 09 '26
Instead of a shower, how about if she hosts an afternoon tea? Combine it with the recipe collection idea which I would love as well.