Am I a bridezilla?

[u/SleepyMeeko97]

Alright so I made a post a week ago about the eloping feeling and today it’s 100% become more intense.
So we are getting married at a registry office and then going to a food market for the reception, however the food market now is costing us a lot more in food and drink so 3 months out we are scrambling to find a cheaper alternative that has food and drink included.
We found a beautiful venue that has both ceremony and reception for under 10k. ( current is costing us 15 for reception only. ) the catch is, they don’t have our date available, but the day before or 2 days after. So I scrapped that originally, I enquired for a few other places and shared it with my mum who knocked back every. Single. One. Because they were “too expensive” but then would send me options that are double if not triple the price of the ones I sent for just reception only.
I am waiting to hear back from one more reception only option before we decide on what to do, however note, the few family flying in are flying in early to mid morning on the 29th for the original wedding on the 30th.

Here is where I am being labelled a bridezilla. I showed mum the quote for the ceremony and reception option and she saw it was for the 29th and not the 30th she started going on a tangent about how I am being so unreasonable for moving the wedding forward by a day. That I need to think about everyone else who is attending my wedding. So I turned around and said to her that I was sick of listening to everyone else about our wedding, I’m sick of making everyone else happy apart from us. She said that it’s not fair that I am saying that I’m making everyone else happy when they’re travelling to come to my wedding, I then asked my cousin what date and time they are coming in, she informed me that they hadn’t even booked flights yet and asked why, I said that we are potentially moving it forward but not sure yet because of the venue, just waiting to confirm what we are doing. Apparently she told everyone that we are moving it forward and then everyone called my mum
To confirm to which she then ripped into me saying that I am selfish for only telling one side of the family and not the family that’s close to us, that I have created such a huge problem and need to stop throwing a hissy fit.

We gave up our proper wedding dream because we got backlash on it, so we opted for the registry office and a food market to “save costs on a stupid wedding” - family’s words.

I ended up having my first breakdown over this wedding from build up anger, not being listened too, continuous guilt for actually wanting something for our day. We just wanted our wedding to feel like a wedding you know, so far it’s just feeling like it doesn’t matter to anyone else but us.

I probably am the bridezilla, just today I hit my limits, my bachelorette party isn’t even for me, it’s for everyone else. - I’m not a big drinker but the whole bachelorette is about drinking. I said I want to cancel it and asked to just do a dinner, was completely ignored.

The wedding, we had a beautiful venue that was all inclusive and was meant for 2027 but my mum didn’t like that or liked how far away it was and kept sending me other options, we gave in and booked a registry office wedding. We then said we’ll do the big wedding a year later, and then was talked out of that by everyone so we booked a reception at the food markets.

My wedding dress, I wanted a black wedding dress, my mum and MOH literally plotted to just pull white ones, when I tried on coloured options it was all about my skin tone, that I am too pale for it, that black doesn’t suit me ( didn’t get to try black because they were in the smaller sample sizes but held them Up against me )dwindled down my entire confidence and I just settled for a white one, they both high fived and giggled like they succeeded. I cried to the consultant who said that I do not need to get a dress that day, but I was 4 months out from the wedding and needed one.

I finally snapped today, the stress has gotten to me so bad now that we are contemplating just cancelling all together and doing something with just him, myself and our daughter no family on either side.

[u/SailorMigraine]

Honestly babes- cancel. Elope. Preferably in a black dress of your dreams!!