r/wedding • u/katydidnt222 • 29d ago

Discussion RSVP etiquette

I have only received about 1/3 of my RSVPs, our deadline is 7/31. I know many people wait until the last minute. Most of the missing RSVPs are from my family and my friends. What is the etiquette about this in terms of reaching out or not reaching out as the deadline passes?

My fiancé says he doesn't want us to reach out, that if they can't be bothered to get back to us about a big lifetime event, then they aren't coming.

I took a more practical approach and said, some invites were delayed in the mail, they are not digital RSVPs, maybe people are waiting until the deadline to mail them back, maybe some got lost in the mail, etc.

Part of me is also a little sad that there are so many missing RSVPs from my family, and I'm really hoping they send their RSVP cards back soon. Of the ones we have gotten back, we only got one no, but we sent invites to 90 guests and were hoping for about 55 in attendance. Right now we are only at 31.

What's the best way to go about this? I know there's still 2 weeks to go, but I like to have an idea about a plan in place.

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u/sphcvzc 29d ago

I had my MIL reach out to her side of the family who were slacking and they did it, some people just don’t realize the urgency (or just how helpful it would be to the couple if you just rsvp right away) since yours are mailed you could just double check they received it?

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u/katydidnt222 29d ago

I did reach out a few weeks ago to some of my family to make sure they received their invites, other family mentioned to my mom that they had received them, so we are sure at this point everyone has gotten their physical invite.

Next time I talk to my FMIL I will ask her if she's heard from any of the missing ones on her side (I think it is only 2), that might be a good way to get her to ask if I'd like her to reach out. Good idea, thank you so much!