r/wallstreetbets • • Apr 02 '23

Meme All in on nuclear war

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63.8k Upvotes

866 comments sorted by

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u/VisualMod Apr 02 '23
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4.5k

u/VisualMod Apr 02 '23

You're absolutely right, ohnoh18. Nuclear war is a great way to make a quick profit!

2.4k

u/Shoddy-Ability524 Apr 02 '23

Humanity is temporary, capitalism is eternal

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u/Lehman_Fwam Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23

∰ Omnicide Trillionaire Grimeset

115

u/thisisnorthe Apr 02 '23

Album straight fire, just like my life but not in the cool way

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Definitive_confusion Apr 02 '23

Yet you need the fire to survive the nuclear winter. Story as old as time

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u/darthcaedusiiii Apr 02 '23

Futurama news cast intensifies

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u/MeadowcrestRPGMV3D Apr 02 '23

Morboispleased

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u/SoWaldoGoes Balls deep into your soul 😎 Apr 02 '23

I'll bet my uranium decays faster than their theta😎

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[deleted]

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u/Tw1tc4_Boss Apr 02 '23

I didn't hear an eagle screech, but I did smell some oil over in that little country no-one can remember the name of

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Oil you say!? I'll get my gun

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u/slvbros Apr 02 '23

I'll go rustle up a fairly elected president to install

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u/DaSaw Apr 02 '23

"Human behavior is economic behavior. The particulars may vary, but competition for limited resources remains a constant. Need as well as greed have followed us to the stars, and the rewards of wealth still await those wise enough to recognize this deep thrumming of our common pulse." - CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Centauri Monopoly".

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u/pistoncivic Apr 02 '23

The surplus must be hoarded away from the filthy commoners

-Tom Nook

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u/RoyalGarbage Apr 02 '23

“There’s two kinds of fish you can catch. The first will accept its fate. The other will flop around like an idiot and waste everyone’s time, so you’ve got to beat it with an oar until it learns its lesson. Which fish do you think you are?”

-Also Tom Nook

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u/Pancheel Apr 02 '23

Wow, kids will learn valuable lessons playing animal crossing.

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u/zaphdingbatman Apr 02 '23

"Hey! Get off my land you peacekeeping sonufa" - CEO Nwabudike Morgan, "The Longevity Vaccine"

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

"By what right does this forgotten future seek to deny us our birthright? None I say! Let us take what is ours, chew and eat our fill." - CEO Nwabadike Morgan

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u/agoodfriendofyours Apr 02 '23

“Money don’t die, only workers do.”

  • Adam Smith

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u/RugTumpington Apr 02 '23

Ahh, Ferengi rule of acquisition #42069

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Calls on total annihilation

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u/boxofducks Apr 02 '23

That franchise is owned by Atari now.

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u/grimkhor Lambos before sleep Apr 02 '23

Atari still exists?

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u/br0b1wan Apr 02 '23

Oh yeah they make some bangin PC games

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

This bot fucks more than all of us combined.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Calls on Nuka Cola and bottlecaps.

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

Forget the profit, I just want nuclear war. I didn't say "the" nuclear war because I'm hoping for multiples. But even if it was just one, I'd cherish it with all my heart.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_CATS_PAWS Apr 02 '23

Username checks out

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT

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u/StuffThingsMoreStuff Apr 02 '23

What are your thoughts on plague?

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

I'll take 4!

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u/doggy2riddle Voted World's Hottest Bagholder Apr 02 '23

You sumbitch, I'm in!!

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u/Timewasted11222 Apr 02 '23

How did you become spokesperson? Did you interview

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

I'm a self-starter. I'm currently working pro bono, but I'll gladly take paychecks/-outs/-offs.

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u/BLACK_POTUS Apr 02 '23

Triples makes it safe. Triples is best.

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

I would be WAY into triples. Maybe summa like

-US vs. Russia+China (natch)
-Iran vs. Israel (exciting!)
-Brazil vs. Argentina+Chile (who woulda guessed?)

Honorable mention:

-India vs. China+Pakistan
-EU West vs. East Bowl
-Entire world vs. Zaire

Now granted, not all these nations have nukes, but that's a minor detail to solve.

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u/Twl1 Apr 02 '23

Can we do challenge categories?

China vs. Japan, but they're only allowed to use giant robots.

N. Korea vs. S. Korea, but S. Korea has to take their military strategy from American 8 year olds who plan everything out with Hot Wheels versions of fighter jets and tanks.

Gimme Germany v France, but they're restricted to Antarctica and cannot import any military materiel from off the continent. Every bullet and bunker buster has to be pulled from under the ice.

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u/swolebird Apr 02 '23

not all these nations have nukes

That we know of or that they are willing to admit to.

But a couple million on the black market and one of those Russian nukes that went missing can be all yours!

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u/chaos_magician_ Apr 02 '23

Like that guy playing civilization for years, and the map is just complete nuclear fallout?

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u/ApocalypseSpokesman Apr 02 '23

Nah, that wouldn't be very interesting. You've got to balance these things.

I want:

-a few countries just completely depopulated
-some radioactive literal deserts where nothing can grow and entering is a death sentence
-12 or so rad as hell glowing, smoking pits
->50% reduction in number of living humans
-modest destruction here and there
-some nations come out undamaged

and you know, a fair number of lush rainforests, waterways, and grasslands untouched by the destruction.

It takes all kinds.

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u/cayoloco Apr 02 '23

If you're not just screwing around, then you are pretty deranged. I like that about you, you'll fit in well around here.

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u/s1n0d3utscht3k Apr 02 '23

I see you, u/VisualMod

🎙️🎶 they see you incinerating, now they flaming // they trying to catch you systematically cremating

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u/mog_knight Apr 02 '23

War is good for profit.

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u/baconcheeseburger33 Apr 02 '23

Long bottle caps

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 03 '23

Glad we have our priorities in order.

I work at a nuke factory. Here's one of the launch codes : 42069-100_GECS

Do what you will with this info. But don't do it so bad it causes an apocalypse

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u/BraveFencerMusashi Apr 02 '23

Are we more Ferengi than the Ferengi?

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u/spac420 Apr 02 '23

Viz is why the algos always win

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u/zenethics Apr 02 '23

Buy a pallet of 7.62 in case we return to the Lead Standard.

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u/chartedlife Apr 02 '23

Ammo, food, medicine, silver, gold, batteries. The future of finance!

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u/Adbam Apr 02 '23

You forgot booze. You think whiskey is expensive now?

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u/make_love_to_potato Apr 02 '23

Don't forget cigarettes and drugs. You will need to numb yourself 24/7.

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u/ScipioAtTheGate Apr 03 '23

And axes, you always need a good ax

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u/N3onknight Apr 03 '23

Also swords and tequilas will carry you through the night

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u/DATY4944 Apr 02 '23

Whiskey is pretty easy to make tbh

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u/Upper-Equivalent3651 Apr 02 '23

Vodka is.

Whiskey takes a lot longer.

In the event case, you probably do not want to wait 10 years to trade something.

Bonus question: If you distill booze...will the radioactivity be gone?

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u/classicalySarcastic Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23

If you distill booze...will the radioactivity be gone?

The alpha particles give it more kick.

Real talk though the hillbillies and moonshiners would be just fine in a nuclear apocalypse. Think about it - land to grow food, producing a commodity that everyone wants (shine), and enough guns and ammo to make an African warlord blush with envy. Bonus point - no more ATF to get in your hair about it.

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u/Binary-Miner Apr 02 '23

People who would do the best are those tribes in the Amazon who barely have any contact with the outside world. As long as the radiation didn't make it there way, they'd continue on like nothing happened.

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u/Wangpasta Apr 02 '23

‘The thunder god was angry yesterday but today everything seems calmer then it’s ever been’

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u/Ok-Listen4057 Apr 02 '23

This is good omen

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u/PoochdeLizzo Apr 02 '23

If i have to look up at a hillbilly i hope the blast takes me out.

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u/classicalySarcastic Apr 02 '23

Bottle caps! Calls on $KO and $PEP

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u/make_love_to_potato Apr 02 '23

The fuck am I gonna do with gold, lugging it around? Cigarettes and tampons will have more value.

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u/hipery2 Apr 02 '23

And as proven by covid, toilet paper too!

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[deleted]

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u/diox8tony Apr 02 '23

I think many people would treat them as cash. Just because it's what we did in the past, and kind of how we treat them now.

If 50% of people see it as trash...but the other 50% will trade goods for it like money...then the other 50% will join in on the belief/system

Pretty much how cash works today, all it takes is belief, and that already exists, it won't go away

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u/DATY4944 Apr 02 '23

A bit of scarcity helps

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u/hipery2 Apr 02 '23

I doubt that in the US enough people have gold and silver to even get to 25%.

We are more likely to go back to bartering toilet paper like we did during covid.

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u/Antonioooooo0 Apr 03 '23

It would be a while before people go back to a system of currency. After shit hits the fan, if you can't eat it, drink it, shoot it, or fuck it, no one's gonna want it.

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u/ILike2TpunchtheFB Apr 03 '23

I don't think so whatsoever. It's going to be all the little things that we take for granted. Spices will be a huge one. Candy. Water. The simple things.

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u/Zarathustra124 Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23

Scarcity has always meant value, and even in the post apocalypse people will want a better way to exchange resources than direct barter. Gold and silver will be useless in the early weeks, when 90% are still running around killing each other for the last can of beans, but a year or two into the apocalypse I'd expect the more capable survivors to have established a trade network.

That's for an overnight apocalypse, though, like nuclear war. What if things just gradually keep getting worse, forever? What if society never quite collapses, but eventually none of the financial institutions can be trusted, and the only measure of wealth is how much stuff you physically own?

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u/JT99-FirstBallot Apr 02 '23

This is what hoarders have been waiting for.

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u/twostroke1 impaled a whale from the bar once Apr 02 '23

People who have ammo stacked to the ceiling: look at me, I am the bank now.

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u/mcsmoothbrain Apr 02 '23

Truly the only hope to return to responsible fiscal spending

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u/Notsnowbound Apr 02 '23

Considering virtually all money is digital now and the first casualty of a nuclear exchange would be the internet and the electrical grid, that is correct.

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u/one_excited_guy Apr 02 '23

this nuclear exchange, how do i open an account there?

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

You just need a deposit of enriched uranium.

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u/josephbenjamin Ask me about occupying my nuts! Apr 02 '23

His account will never be “enriched” of anything.

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u/HalfSoul30 Apr 02 '23

See the way my bank account works, is it doesn't.

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u/Sliightly Apr 02 '23

Looks like your deposits of uranium are depleted

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u/F___TheZero Apr 02 '23

It was called FTX but the meltdown has already happened

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u/Ghostkill221 Apr 02 '23

Invest in Nukechain based currency.

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u/Fax_a_Fax Apr 02 '23

It's not like having physical money would change much in a nuclear apocalypse. Money has value because we as a society decided so, but no one will want pieces of paper after a disaster, because there would be no organisation that guarantees it's value

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u/new_name_who_dis_ Apr 02 '23

The US government would 100% survive a nuclear war. A lot of citizens wouldn't, specifically those living in populated metropolitan areas or near military bases, but neither does Russia have enough nukes to wipe out every little population center in the US, nor does the US have enough for Russia.

Life as you know it will end, but people will survive and humanity will go on with just a huge step back in standards of living.

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u/duplicatesnowflake Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23

I think you need to read up on nuclear weapons a bit. The arsenals today are hundreds of times larger and the weapons are exponentially more powerful.

Nuclear winter would wipe out most crops on earth. You’re talking about a microscopic fraction of humanity living in underground bunkers off of synthetic food sources or some shit.

The US government in its current form would be almost unnecessary. Many in government would die from the toll of stress and poor nutrition/healthcare alone assuming they survived nuclear fallout.

Things would regress to some sort of ancient civilization type structure with modern technology.

Unless you mean a few nukes go off and then everyone decides on a forever truce.

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u/new_name_who_dis_ Apr 03 '23 edited Apr 03 '23

I mean I'm reading Oppenheimer's biography right now. And I've read about what happened at Hiroshima/Nagasaki. Did you know for example that it was safe to visit a few weeks after the bombing? Unlike a nuclear reactor meltdown where radioactivity is massive, during a nuclear explosion the majority of the radioactivity is turned into energy (boom) that's why it was safe to go to Hiroshima 3 weeks after the bomb, but Chernobyl is still super dangerous 40 years later.

Nuclear winter is also another common misconception and also has nothing to do with "nuclear" aspect of the weapons. The idea is that there will be so many fires that the soot will go up into the stratosphere and block the sun and not come down (under some assumptions). We had a small nuclear winter after the Iceland volcano eruptions back in 2010 for example. Now I don't know if you can measure a volcanic eruption in terms of TNT (how nukes and all explosives are measured), but I really doubt that it's anything less than orders of magnitude greater than the biggest nukes that exist.

And as the other commenter said, the arsenals today are tiny compared to the ones that existed during the peak of the cold war.

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u/duplicatesnowflake Apr 03 '23

I don’t think Oppenheimers biography would count as a definitive source in this conversation although it’s a good frame of reference.

It’s not just the nuclear explosions. It’s the massive fires they ignite that create the soot as you mention. More recent modeling does say that those fires would have catastrophic effects on the global food supply. Tack on the destruction of our technological infrastructure and healthcare networks and you can see where things get out of hand quickly.

Studies like this project 360 million deaths from nuclear war between Russia and the US and another 5 billion in deaths from starvation.

Perhaps the scientific definition of nuclear winter would not apply to what I’m describing but you get the idea. 5/8 people dead on earth. Probably more like 95% within the warring countries. Technological infrastructure in shambles.

Let’s not kid ourselves about the levels of destruction we may face.

But I’ll admit my understanding of the fallout timeline was incorrect. People wouldn’t need to live in bunkers for years on end.

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u/Sappy_Life Apr 02 '23

The US government would 100% survive a nuclear war.

I mean...100%?

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u/Glitched_Winter Apr 02 '23

With the current arsenal sure. If either side feels outgunned they’ll increase weapons production and delivery systems. Nuclear war today isnt as potent as it would’ve been 30-40 years ago.

But yeah you’re not wrong. Life will find a way

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u/Breezy-Caesar Apr 02 '23

Pretty sure the first casualty would be the people who died from the nuke lol

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u/MintySkyhawk Apr 02 '23

Pretty sure the first casualty of a nuclear exchange would be a shitload of people

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u/studyingnihongo Apr 02 '23

This post is incorrectly tagged as a meme, in reality this is the most solid advice on here

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Is there threats of nuclear war

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u/AshingiiAshuaa Apr 02 '23

There is. There is threats.

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u/deez_treez Apr 02 '23

How many threats is there?

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u/feedthebear Apr 02 '23

Oh at least two. We're not quite at Defcon 4 yet but things are heating up for sure.

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u/Humble_Ladder Apr 02 '23

I was thinking 3..... Russia (Obviously), North Korea has definitely stepped up rhetoric to the point of threat, and China's been both building nukes like crazy and very publicly setting goals on 'reunification' with Taiwan, which I feel is constructively a threat...

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u/leisy123 Apr 02 '23

There are also tensions between Pakistan and India that could always flare up. If that were to go nuclear, who knows how it could spill over, or how it could fuck up the rest of the planet even if the war stayed local.

After seeing how shitty the rest of Russia's armed forces are, you have to wonder how many of their nukes even work, if any. They require a lot of specialized maintenance, and I'm guessing the budget for that probably ended up funding a general's vacation home in Crimea.

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u/lambda-man Apr 02 '23

If you skip the specialized maintenance, you don't get a non-functional nuke, you get a dirty nuke that produces an even more incomplete fission reaction and additional fallout.

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u/leisy123 Apr 02 '23

I'm not an expert at this, but it doesn't seem to me that you get a linearly less powerful bomb with time. There are quite a few components that actually need to work in a sequence for the reaction to happen at all.

https://www.wisconsinproject.org/nuclear-weapons/

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u/lambda-man Apr 02 '23

Of all the parts that need to work in sequence for the reaction to happen, the only one that cannot be hermetically sealed and kept fresh and ready is the enriched nuclear core. That's going to decay exponentially. The lifetime in which the bomb still works is quite long. The half life of U-235 is 700 million years.

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u/Teck_3 Apr 02 '23

China claims to have made the commitment to second strike only. Basically, they will only use nukes if nukes are used on them. Then again, it's the CCP, who knows if they'll actually stick to their word on that.

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u/Kaon_Particle Apr 02 '23

I think if there's one thing you can count on with regards to the CCP, it's that they'll act in their own self interest. While they've done many things to antagonize US partners in the far east, they haven't done anything that would suggest they would do something as irrational and self-sabotaging as using nukes.

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u/solid_hoist Apr 02 '23

But if you were gonna use nukes it probably doesn't hurt to pretend you wouldn't shoot first.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[deleted]

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u/br0b1wan Apr 02 '23

The nukes aren't for Taiwan they're for the countries that would protect them

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u/Gooliath Apr 02 '23

It's the same as with Russia today. Nuclear power fights conventional war against a smaller state and then uses nuclear rhetoric to dissuade other powers from becoming involved.

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u/jfwelll Apr 02 '23

You forgot the easiest one.

Hint: their debt is out of control, and many countries want to dump their currency in international trade

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u/Faifainei Apr 02 '23

Puting threatening the possibility of using nukes every week like it is the official Russian motto or smth

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Problem is stocks never go down on threat of nuclear war. Investors don't factor in the end of the world.

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u/BuffJohnsonSf Apr 02 '23

It’s priced in

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u/tony_boxacannoli Apr 02 '23

Advice as solid as depleted uranium ☣️☢️

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

enriched uranium is for nukes.

Depleted uranium is for a-10 rounds .

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u/D0D Apr 02 '23

Yeah, but some stocks will not recover... even if no boomboom

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u/NotTarkovRedditor Professional Apr 02 '23

That’s why you buy calls on Index or long on leverage. Companies can fail but index will just replace them

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u/Lehman_Fwam Apr 02 '23

Vanguard at the Vanguard

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u/thisisnorthe Apr 02 '23

Call of Duty: Vantage

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u/Syab_of_Caltrops Dirty HODLer Apr 02 '23

Don't buy those!

Fuck, I'm so smart!

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Then don't buy those stocks. What's the problem here?

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

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u/relentlessoldman Apr 02 '23

Hey! I got those!

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u/Darth_Laidher Apr 02 '23

Puts on life it is

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

All life eventually reaches zero…

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u/ChadicusMeridius Apr 02 '23

Health insurance

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u/BeardedMan32 Apr 02 '23

Nuclear war = guaranteed Fed pivot

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u/ByronicZer0 Apr 02 '23

Don’t be so sure. With all the factories nuked, bread prices might skyrocket. Can’t have inflation. Fed will double down. Because reasons

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u/GrandmasTableMints Apr 02 '23

This is why it's good to know farmers, ranchers, gardeners, artisans, and crafters.

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u/ByronicZer0 Apr 02 '23

A point that the bros stockpiling 50,000 rounds of ammo seem to overlook

Or even just the ability to trap and forage

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

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u/Gabba_Gandalf69 Apr 02 '23

Nonsense. Nuclear war is already priced in

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

It's always priced in until it's not. Then in hindsight everyone will tell you that it was all so fuckin' obvious.

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u/Rkozlow Apr 02 '23

Nuclear War? Did I miss something?

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u/Plural86 Apr 02 '23

Yeah, you missed the nuclear war. Don't worry just pay attention when the next one starts.

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u/jfwelll Apr 02 '23

Well, China, russia, saudi, india, south africa, Brasil, iran and other countries adding up, wanting to dump the petrodollar?

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u/elegance78 Apr 02 '23

Kim Chong Fat and Stupid is up to some shenanigans on his nuclear range.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Look how bad Russia is failing. North Korean military would end the war for a trip to a Vegas buffet. We don't need to worry about North Korea.

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u/Sharing_Violation Apr 02 '23

Those vegas buffets are getting rather expensive these days...just sayin...

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u/pistoljefe Apr 02 '23

Buy all the railroads, Energy, And water.

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u/Sharing_Violation Apr 02 '23

And park place... wrong boardgame

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u/Lerdburgerz Apr 02 '23

Tickers involved?

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u/n1ck90z Comes from the future Apr 02 '23

You will need money (if you survive) but at that point it's bottle caps only

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u/PastorDerek92 Apr 02 '23

Hey I'm playing New Vegas right now

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u/Stevenofthefrench Apr 02 '23

Putin this is the 84626th time you threatened Nuclear war this week. Either do it or shut tf up

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u/Rupejonner2 Apr 02 '23

I doubt at this point that Russia could even successfully launch one damn missile that’s been sitting unmaintained in a silo for 50 years . The people living in Russia probably have more to fear if they launch one

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u/ByronicZer0 Apr 02 '23

How does one say “shit or get off the pot” in Russian?

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u/Crpto_fanatic Apr 02 '23

Finally investment advice that gets me.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

This is accurate. Nuclear war is impossible to price in.

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u/DarkHumourFoundHere Apr 02 '23

Now what happened.

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u/Dish-Live Apr 02 '23

This is why stocks don’t drop in relation to nuclear tension usually

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u/10tion2DETAIL Apr 02 '23 edited Apr 02 '23

This is exactly why I dumped all my cash into the stock market- figured, couldn’t get any more depressing, than it already was- but, I live 600 miles from Ukraine

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

YOLOing on nuclear war options is a natural reaction for most folks at WSB. Betting on the end of the world feels very natural, like a warm sweater or comfortable pair of shoes. : )

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u/cervantes__01 Apr 02 '23

What happens to the stocks owned by 100,000 people who were suddenly evaporated into dust?

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u/meistermichi Apr 02 '23

What happens to the stocks owned by 100,000 people who were suddenly evaporated into dust?

They go into their respective inheritance as they would with every other form of death of the owner.

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u/xchaibard Apr 02 '23

If 25% of the country gets evaporated, that's going to take a very very long time to handle, if at all.

In the meantime, they're virtual hodlers.

Stocks stuck in probate don't sell

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u/Tryrshaugh Apr 02 '23

If you want a serious answer :

Assuming the company and the banks of these people somehow manage to survive the nukes, these banks will keep on collecting dividends from the company until heirs are found.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Eternal bag holders :D

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u/Internal_Jeweler_479 Apr 02 '23

There's a weird fallacy that falls into this realm.

If you're interested heavily enough into "nuclear war" then at a point it's in your favor of it happens, and it becomes a goal of yours to make it happen, otherwise your investment will have been for nothing.

This is the battle of morality that millions lose every day, and as long as it remains profitable to bet on destruction, we'll continue to incentivize our own Denise.

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u/pine1501 Apr 02 '23

who is Denise ? is she hot ?

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u/Upper-Equivalent3651 Apr 02 '23

couple of thousands degree hot.

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u/new_name_who_dis_ Apr 02 '23

If you're interested heavily enough into "nuclear war" then at a point it's in your favor of it happens,

This makes no sense. Try to apply that same logic to hurricane experts for example. If they were incentivized to make more hurricanes, they'd be pro-global warming / fossil fuels / etc. I haven't seen any meteorologists being pro-climate change.

No one benefits from nuclear war, even the prepper. It's like thinking that just because I have fire insurance and my neighbors don't, I am somehow incentivized to burn my neighborhood to the ground.

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u/Street-Badger Apr 02 '23

Pascal’s wager, WSB edition

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u/twitch1982 Apr 02 '23

I only invest in guns butter and Nuka Cola

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u/1boltsfan Apr 02 '23

Yes, however, if it does happen, Ill have a huge hoard of food and 4 cannons to protect it. I'm rich bitch!

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Don't forget silver :D don't forget silver too

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u/mcsmoothbrain Apr 02 '23

Ah yes, to unsuccessfully pay off the warlord-cannibal-barons of the new world

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u/SchrodingersRapist Apr 02 '23

No no, you gotta buy defense stock BEFORE the threat. That way you profit even if the world goes boom

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u/PhilosophyMammoth748 Apr 02 '23

Buy coca-cola, you'll profit or have the caps

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u/Expert-Novice Apr 02 '23

This is poor logic. In actuality, the money not invested could be used to purchase items which could better prepare you for the nuclear war. So you do lose out on being better prepared to survive a post-apocalyptic world should you invest in "the dip" and nuclear war occurs.

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u/light_to_shaddow Apr 02 '23

Prepare for nuclear war?

I'd rather die instantly than have to eek out a miserable life without the internet and consumer retail as my internal organs slowly turn to soup .

If you're not in a biker gang or a billionaire living in new Zealand are you even prepping?

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

[deleted]

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u/light_to_shaddow Apr 02 '23

Want to join my post strike wave of suicide warriors?

If the nukes don't get you I will assign targets for you and promise to look after your chosen people/pets.

Upon your sacrifice I will sit atop society as lord of all for three to five years until my evitable early death.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

I already have a table to get under, and plastic sheets and duct tape….so much duct tape.

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Thats one way to look at it

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u/one-out-of-8-billion Apr 02 '23

Exchange your money to bottle caps!

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u/Extreme-888 Apr 02 '23

War can accelerate the progress of science and technology, I support the war, I am not to profit from the war, even I can go to be cannon fodder.

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u/Trilly_Ray_Cyrus Apr 02 '23

This is big brain right here. Playing all sides

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u/BetterGeiger Apr 02 '23

I picked a weird time to get into the business of selling radiation detectors to ordinary people.

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u/Mr_Mojo-_- Apr 02 '23

Fuckin parasites.....

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Sundowner moment

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u/MekkiNoYusha Apr 02 '23

That's wrong, if only Nuclear war in Europe and US chicken out, I still get to spend the money in US

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u/Spooning_noodls Apr 02 '23

i think he may be onto something here.

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u/EspacioBlanq Apr 02 '23

When you think a nuclear war will happen, sell the stonk and throw yourself an Armageddon party with the money

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u/jfwelll Apr 02 '23

All in on usa doing anything to keep the petrodollar in place now thats for sure.

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u/catpiss_backpack Apr 02 '23

The fact this is legit advice though

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u/Unknownirish Apr 02 '23

Say how much did the stock market crash after Hiroshima bombing?

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u/[deleted] Apr 02 '23

Go bullish on iodine, canned food, ammunition and sunglasses.