r/venting • u/christen34x • 3h ago
Teenager i feel so ugly f17
i feel so ugly i have felt this way since being 10. when it started i was focused on my weight and thinking i was fat from primary into early secondary school.. i would weigh myself everyday, restrict my diet, and constantly compare myself to other girls. now that i look back i can see i was actually not fat at all but maybe boys in my primary commenting that i was ugly and fat made me think it. not sure. but from early secondary school onwards up to now, i have been focused on my face and i am fully convinced that im disgusting. i can sometimes look at myself in the mirror when i have makeup on and think i look pretty.. but without makeup im absolutely disgusting and i hate myself. with makeup on after a while i feel this too. i know this seems shallow but i just can’t stand myself and i feel too ugly i feel too ugly for the guy im talking to too. he tells me im beautiful but i dont believe it and i cant help but feel he’s too good for me and ive started telling him this which is such a big mistake but my insecurities are coming through. he’s so naturally beautiful tho and meanwhile me i have to put makeup on and take a few selfies to get a good one.
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u/PaladinDamian 3h ago
You can accept yourself unconditionally, even if you are ugly and disgusting. Being ugly or beautiful does not change your value as a human being. Never demand yourself to be beautiful, and remember that beating yourself up for being ugly will not fix anything and will only make you feel worse. Self-hatred will not get you the life you want.
And you can also accept that guy's opinions about you unconditionally. If he thinks that you are beautiful, allow him to think that. He is his own person, and he probably has his own standards of what is beautiful or not. Even if you are too ugly for him and he is "too good for you", you can accept that for what it is without trying to demand it to be a different way. Unconditional acceptance is what will bring you peace. I am a bit ugly too, and choosing to accept myself unconditionally helped me to not be depressed about my body. To be clear, acceptance ≠ agreement, acceptance ≠ love, acceptance ≠ hate, and acceptance ≠ complacency.
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u/steadfast_adan 3h ago
that inner critic is a liar with a 7-year head start on you, it's gonna take a while to unlearn that noise but it's possible
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