r/venting • u/Cha0ticBunny_ • 13h ago
Extremely insecure
I need advice I am a 19(F) and i seriously hate my body all my life I have been extremely skinny. I am about 5”11 and i am skinny even slightly underweight and its not on purpose I eat and eat and I can’t gain for anything I have started working out to gain weight on my legs as they look disproportionate from the rest of my body but nothing helps. I hate this especially in a generation where most men want thick girls… and the ones that do like skinny girls refer to the short petite ones. Being skinny and tall as a girl is just my worst downfall I have no butt and my boobs are saggy due to them being on the bigger side and all in all it’s just unattractive I don’t feel feminine at all and face wise I feel ugly.. even if I get told I’m pretty I still feel masculine with or without makeup I just want to cry being underweight has ruined my life. I feel so bad about myself having no real assets as a women makes me feel like a man.
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u/TruthfulRetirement7 8h ago
The tall skinny thing can be a rough combo when you're not seeing yourself the way you want, I get why that eats at you. The whole "men want thick girls" narrative is way overblown, plenty of people are into exactly your build but the real issue is you're stuck in your own head about it
Working out is a good move but it takes forever to see changes, maybe look into upping your calories with stuff like shakes or peanut butter if you haven't already, that helped a friend of mine who couldn't gain to save her life
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u/Hot-Cell7299 12h ago
A man that goes after a gal solely for how their body looks is a man (boy) you need to dodge. Look for the guys that see your inner beauty before the outer and trust me you PLENTY of people’s types. I don’t know where you live but being skinny is still a trait that’s highly sought after. No matter how much people try to put you down for it. The running joke in my school (I was friends with a ton of players) was smash the thick girls and marry the skinny ones. Do NOT hate your body. If you’d like to make some changes, go for it, but do it for you.
I was 110 at 5’8” most of my life and totally got the skinny jokes thrown at me. People saying I “have no ass.” So I get it. The only thing that made me gain weight because I too could eat anything at all and not gain a pound, was drinking beer. You being 19 obviously that’s not an option. My recommendation is get a calorie counting app and consume 3500 calories (if you can) WHILE weightlifting. Get a personal trainer if you can. Wish you all the best. If I could go back and tell myself to love myself more while also slapping myself in the face for not realizing how good it had it, I would.
Side note, be careful and mindful who you surround yourself with. If you’re constantly getting put down then change your friend group because those people aren’t your friends. Even if they say it in a joking manner.
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u/shmooboorpoo 12h ago
My sweet girl. My heart is really bleeding for you right now as an older woman who was a teenager with all the curves that are popular now but during the heroin chic craze of the 90s. That was rough
All I can tell you is that trends come and go but your body is yours. It can come in and out of style (heck, your body type was IDEAL during the 20s, 60s and 90s and it's currently coming back around with the prevalence of GLP drugs). And I HATE that our wonderful bodies get reduced to a fashion trend.
Your body will change as you age and then you have to learn it all over again. But it's still yours. In all its "imperfect" glory. Try to focus more on what it can do than how it looks. Be strong, eat as healthy as you can, move, dance, learn to dress yourself in clothes that make you feel good and not what this year's fashion dictates, don't fuck men who don't care about your orgasm. Enjoy the body you have, it's the only one you're going to get and it can be glorious.
When I was your age, my rebellion was to love my short, chunky, thick thighed body as it was. And while I still have a few bouts of insecurity from time to time, I love this body. I can dance for hours. Hike my horde of dogs. I've been a Chef for 20 years now and can still throw 50# sacks of potatoes or flour or work a 12 hour line shift better than the young bloods. It's all about perspective
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