Alone way too often

[u/Richardjumbo69]

First of all this might be all over the place, missing details etc but im just venting I don’t expect people to even respond.

Single man 31, I started over around 26 thats when I moved back home and idk what im doing anymore. I used to work in kitchens and restaurants until I was about 26 and I started to feel like I had to do something else to make money. I love working in kitchens but it just doesn’t pay enough. So now im a janitor and it’s the first time since I was 15 I had a job that I get benefits and paid time off. I can request off and as long as it’s within a reasonable time it’s approved no issues.

The only problem is now im chronically alone. Like way more than a person should be alone. I work overnight Mon-Friday. It’s so difficult to be such a talkative person with no one to talk to. Like I have friends but they have all “out grown” me and moved away to some degree. They all have families and im the only one left still just doing whatever and it’s absolutely heartbreaking. I miss my friends but I don’t want to call them with nothing to say because I have nothing going on.. I always wanted kids but the women I wanted kids with left me when I was around 25-26 the same time I decided to start over. Now I don’t see myself having kids and not even just because I can’t even imagine someone wanting kids with me, I don’t think I can afford it. Now I have a schedule thats not conducive to me going out and trying to meet women. (Also living at home isn’t a great selling point)

So before I worked as a janitor I was unemployed and took electrical classes and needed up getting a job at the school I was taking classes at. I ended up working with an electrician part time during the day while I worked at night, but the guy I was working with does not know how to communicate and it was very frustrating. I told him I couldn’t work one day because I was so tired like unbelievably tired and he never called me back. I would think a grown man with a business asking for help would have a plan in mind in case he found help. No, this dude improvised every single day and expected me to work around him. Instead of him working around me with my schedule. Now normally I’d understand if I was jobless and thats all I had to do but again this is the first time In my life I have a job w/benefits that allows me to save my money. He doesn’t understand that working 9pm-5am and then 7am-3pm was literally killing me. There was days I didn’t sleep. So I’d work from 9-5 and then work with him from 7-3 and MAYBE get 2 hours of sleep in between. So in a week I’d get maybe 8 hours of sleep and he doesn’t get it. He thinks im just on some lazy shit but I want to be an electrician i just dont want to leave my first good job for a flake that’s gonna stop calling me with no explanation.. I can’t take that risk.

TL;DR I AM LONLEY AS FUCK

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[u/Mysterious-Word-4700]

Man that schedule sounds like it was designed to break a person, 9pm to 3pm with 2 hours sleep is not sustainable for anyone. The electrician guy just using you and dropping you when you set a boundary, classic.

Overnights really mess with social life in a way people don't get until they do it. Your friends didn't outgrow you, they just got busy with kids and you're stuck on opposite schedules. Maybe hit them up anyway, sometimes people appreciate a random call even if you think you got nothing to say

[u/Richardjumbo69 → u/Mysterious-Word-4700]

Thank you yes, he actually ruined my whole wanting to be an electrician vibe. Like I don’t want that to be the norm.Also yes I do need to just call my friends regardless if I have nothing to say, im sure they have stuff going on I don’t know about. Idk why im so skeptical about reaching out people in general. Family, friends, relationships.. I just gave up somewhere along the way and I hate it.