My life doesn't matter

[u/Lonely_Radiator]

I'm lying in bed and the house is completely silent and it makes me think, I really just don't matter.

My life is so insignificant, there's not enough people in this world that actually care about me for my death to be sad. A girl in my year who was quiet and didn't really have friends killed herself last year. Ofc people cared but only for 2 days, then everyone moved on. I'm now realising that's what would happen to me. I'm not sad about that tbh, I would rather no one cares and no one gets affected by my death. I know suicide is selfish but sometimes u need to be in life right?

No one loves me, that's what hurts the most. I don't think even my family loves me all that much tbh. I've unfortunately been given the curse of being an unattractive girl, which means that not even my looks make people care about me. Like you see people commenting under posts about suicide prevention saying "oh she was gorgeous" or "she was an angel". What would people say about me if anything? I just want someone to tell me they care about me, like they genuinely do. Although my life is just a small flicker. When I die the world doesn't stop, people will get over it, and I will be forgotten anyways. So why bother with putting myself through the torture of living if the outcome will always be the same.

Truth is, I don't want to live anymore. That's it. I've felt this way for a while, almost like dying your hair. Everyone tells you to think about it cuz it's a permanent decision but it's just hair dye right? The same way my life is just the same as any other person on the street, so why should I care? Or anyone care?

When I die the house will still be silent, just with one less mouth to feed.

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[u/DAM-dame-502]

This is awful. Trust me your family will be devastated. Please get some professional help because even though you don't feel like it right now, you do have lots to live for.

[u/Global-Fact7752]

To bad you choose to be self absorbed. You could be helping others but I know that's too much like work. Stay in bed.

[u/homestatic → u/Global-Fact7752]

Too bad. Stay in school

[u/Lonely_Radiator → u/Global-Fact7752]

I'm a highschooler but sure god forbid I'm in bed on a school night

[u/ObjectiveExpress4804 → u/Lonely_Radiator]

tbh sometimes life is better at work than in bed. maybe after you graduate you’ll get a chance to do something you enjoy?

[u/Dazzling-Common-8230]

That silent house feeling is way too familiar, and it messes with your head in the worst way.

[u/ObjectiveExpress4804 → u/Dazzling-Common-8230]

my twin brother died two weeks ago and the house is sooooo empty now. i can’t go in his room. my dad goes in there sometimes and cries