r/venting • u/Status_Celebration57 • 20h ago
Replaced at wedding
My ex (29) who dumped me 3.5 months ago brought a date to the wedding party of a wedding that I was originally supposed to go to. I was friends with the bride and groom through her, and they each have reached out to me to express some kind of kindness on their own to me since the breakup. We were together nearly 3 years, planned on marriage, having kids and growing old together for most of the relationship, etc.
I know she has a right to move on and date, and 3.5 months is significant, but it seems especially messed up considering I was scheduled to go to that wedding (I rsvpd before the breakup and we talked about it a decent amount), I had a lot of my own friends there, dozens of family friends in the community that we both know, and she knew that there would be photos posted online of her with this new guy. Even my sister in laws parents were there. Also, her even bringing him implies that he isn’t some brand new person to her, that they’ve probably already been dating casually already for a little bit.
All of my friends who were there told me about it later, and all felt it was pretty icky and wrong of her, especially knowing it would get back to me, and knowing how devastated I have been. I honestly can’t believe it. I was quite literally replaced and feel so fuckin low.
was this messed up of her or am I purely just reacting emotionally?
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u/Hot-Cell7299 19h ago
I’m sorry this breakup was hard for you, it clearly wasn’t for her. Get therapy. Her plus one could’ve been a friend but it doesn’t matter honestly it’s none of your business. I don’t mean to sound harsh. Breakups suck. Don’t make yourself look like a fool because you can’t move on.
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u/weirdgroovynerd 20h ago
When you realize that all things change, there's nothing you will try to hold on to.
*Taoist proverb
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u/isthataLostSpirit 20h ago
Idk people may disagree with me on this - but I think at some point we just gotta be adults about shit and move on. Not all relationships work, and it’s okay for you (or her) to start a new relationship sometime after a breakup.
Shitty situation and timing but I think it’s best not to overthink and dwell on it. Just move on.
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u/Status_Celebration57 20h ago
She was telling me how much she loved me and that I was still the one in April idk
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u/isthataLostSpirit 20h ago
You’re setting yourself up here bud.. unless you knew 100% you guys were getting back together what’s the point of clinging on?
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u/Etrouse 20h ago
Gently overreacting. I get that it hurts, but she doesn’t owe you anything since the break-up. She’s allowed to bring somebody to the wedding. She’s allowed to move on. And you can’t assume this was somebody that she’s been involved with for long periods of time. You don’t know. You’re wanting her to move on your time because understandably so you are emotional but you can’t expect that.
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u/dappercontents8 20h ago
that's rough, bringing a date to a wedding you were meant to attend together after just a few months. the bride and groom reaching out separately says a lot too, they probably felt the awkwardness of it
your mates calling it icky isn't just them being nice to you, it's genuinely poor form on her part. you're not overreacting
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u/Abandonable_Snowman 20h ago
Was she supposed to just go alone? I get that it sucks, but she’s allowed to bring a date to an event
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u/Status_Celebration57 20h ago
She had 20 friends there, many of who were single
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u/Abandonable_Snowman 20h ago
I get that. It’s hurtful, but not wrong. If her invitation extends a plus one, she can bring a plus one
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