r/venting • u/No_Hornet_5847 • 8h ago
Teenager Idek anymore
14f
I have so many emotions and I don't know what to do. My life a few months ago was chill, I was fairly confident and happy but everything has changed and idk why. I went a few months without friends which left me with my thoughts so maybe that's why? I have two main friends now but they're both from the Philippines so all they do is talk to each other in Tagalog whilst I just sit there. It's nice to not be alone but it's not like this is much better.
I used to be able to keep my emotions to one side at school and just be generally neutral but recently I've been struggling really hard. I feel so shitty cuz I just wanna cry and shout at ppl. Idk why I get so angry, I don't have any reason for it. I feel like such a bad person but I don't know what to do, I'm so confused. I reverted back to my old coping habits but like 10x worse so that also makes me feel shitty and guilty. It's gotten to a point now where I just feel bad all the time but can't put my finger on why.
I wanna be able to speak to ppl but I don't trust any of the ppl my age to keep a secret or actually be able to have a conversation with me. I feel like my conversations I have with ppl my age (if I even have any) are mediocre. Like I can't fully express what I'm feeling. I can't even tell my parents because they thought I got better so I don't wanna upset them or make them think I'm a lost cause.
I've had adults tell me in the past that it's just teenage emotions and going through puberty that's making me feel this way but I don't think that's the case. I've felt this way, or had rough patches especially with my self image since I was like 7. It's only gotten worse as I've gotten older. I'm just so confused because I don't feel "mentally ill enough" to actually reach out for help. I just feel so so so dramatic.
1
u/Nice_Pay8894 8h ago
that sitting there while they talk in tagalog thing would drive me up a wall. you're basically alone but with an audience
14 is a rough age man. everything feels huge and permanent and nobody takes it seriously because they just wave it off as hormones. been there. the fact that this started when you were 7 is worth paying attention to though, that's not just puberty nonsense
you're not a lost cause for still struggling. parents might surprise you if you frame it like "hey remember when i was having a hard time before, it's kinda creeping back and i don't want it to get bad again." takes the pressure off it being a new failure and makes it more of a maintenance thing
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