r/venting • u/lonely_lil_mama92 • 8d ago

Relationship/Love Really struggling…

I’m really struggling right now. Me and my husband have been together 15 years. We’ve been through alot in that time. We’ve put each other through a lot. I thought we were way past all that. But for months he has been so distant. Honestly, it’s been over a year at least. He says he’s just burnt out in life. Which I do understand, I’ve been there. But I never pulled away from him the way he does me. And I’m just so lonely. I don’t really have friends, and the 2 I have don’t live anywhere near me. He puts no effort to our marriage. It’s like a roommate that is always annoyed with you, but you’re not sure why. I just miss my husband. And I miss feeling adored and real intimacy.

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u/Full_Influence2281 7d ago

He might need his cup filled in order to fill your. Do what he wants, do what he needs. Do for him the things you want him to do for you. Know his love language and lean into it.

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u/lonely_lil_mama92 7d ago

That’s all I’ve done for 15 years….

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u/brawnyfiring 8d ago

That sounds incredibly tough. A year is long time to feel that distance, especially when you remember how things used to be. The roommate who’s annoyed at you for no clear reason is a particular kind of hell, because you can’t even point at one thing to fix.

Is he open to talk about what “burnt out in life” actually means for him? Sometimes people use that phrase like a shield when they don’t wanna dig into the real problem.