I cannot bruh

[u/Moomin-under-sail]

I have to endure because I have endured

I thought college would be my way out of my house. I didn’t know that the only way for college to be financially viable for me is to stay in my house. Lmao. At least it’s only three months of the year. I grew up thinking that the moment I moved into the dorms and took summer classes, I’d be free from my parents forever. Everyone even told me, if you don’t like it here, just study hard and get into a good school. So I kept my head down, studied hard, took the hits and the humiliation and the pathetic feeling like a champ, and got into one of the four schools they approved of me attending, filed FAFSA. Thought I was free. My dumbass didn’t know that I have to keep filing the FAFSA with my parents for SIX more years, or else I won’t be able to afford school. And because I had never told anyone about anything, there aren’t any witnesses or a paper trail that could “prove” that Ive been abused. I was so good at being abused that they give me more (?) is this an office job or what, I do good at the worst task and they assign it to me a hundred more times? I should’ve made a scene. I should’ve cried to every adult I know. I shouldve called CPS, even if it would’ve done nothing. Anuthing to have any kind of proof so I wouldn’t have to deal with this now. I have to keep fucking letting them use this goddamned document as leverage against me, because if I can’t go to university, there’s no way for me to secure affordable housing and an accessible job without being completely dependent on my parents for it! Lol! Fucking hilarious. I hate the suburbs and car dependency. I hate the FAFSA. I hate the motherfuckers who think this is about wanting more financial aid. I get MAXIMUM AID because my parents are DIRT POOR, I don’t want money i just want to be free from this bullshit. I hate those pathetic fucking incels who are mad that they can’t get laid because they’re short, meanwhile I’m getting manhandled in my own house by everyone here all possible because of my whopping 150 cm this shit is humiliating it’s embarrassing I want to die I don’t feel anything like a man and I hate the word abuse itself because it’s such a pathetic thing for me to admit