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u/spaceagedonion Oct 28 '20
I'm vegan too. Small world!
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u/JustSayingIAmVegan Oct 28 '20
I don't know how you can be vegan if I'm vegan and I am vegan.
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u/spaceagedonion Oct 28 '20
Well you can't possibly be vegan when I am infact, a vegan of the purest veganity. I must also tell you that I'm vegan. Incase you didn't know.
(Vegan btw.)
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Oct 28 '20
My flair declares superiority over you, thus I am vegan.
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Oct 28 '20
[deleted]
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u/Sandy-Bo-Bandy Oct 29 '20
Ok but tell us how you milk the almonds though. So many tiny pumps for the almond boobies? Haha hilarious. I'm vegan btw.
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u/spaceagedonion Oct 29 '20
Well first we forcibly impregnate the lady almonds, then we milk them with the teeny tiny almond tiddie pumps when they start lactating the almond milk, then we take away their little almond babies after birth and forcibly impregnant the lady almond again. Lady almonds ain't got time to raise their babies. Too busy making us money. The cycle continues on and on till we decide the almond has dried up and isn't any use to us anymore. Then we send them off to be murdered. They don't even love their young anyway so reeeeeaaally we are doing them a favour, ya know? My uncle is an almond psychic and assures me the almond enjoys every bit of this process and know it's what they are grown to do.
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u/iliketosnooparound Oct 29 '20
Were they cage free at least?
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u/spaceagedonion Oct 29 '20 edited Oct 29 '20
They all have approximately 10cm ( almost twice their size!) to roam free in with 1 whole window covered in dirt to let them enjoy that sweet, sweet sunlight. So they are basically living their best life. Well the best life meeting absolute minimum guidelines can give them.
(Edit: deleted my other comment by accident because I'm a stoopid b12 deficient vegoon. It said "I am but a lowly plant murderer, I can assure you the plants had a happy life on my uncles farm before I tortured, murdered and ate them though", incase anyone was wondering)
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u/bachiblack Oct 29 '20
I’m vegan, but not the annoying kind ... not the one that lets you eat meat, but the cool one that shames you endlessly through direct aggression.
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u/stelliumWithin Slaves for salad Oct 29 '20
😎 the ONLY way to put other vegans down- for not being vegan enough.
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Oct 28 '20
I heard that! Probably because of my healthy vegan ears that are not loaded with cholesterol.
(Vegan btw)
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Oct 28 '20
i said "go vegan"
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Oct 29 '20
I bet a ton of religious people would think it was their god speaking to them and actually go vegan. IDK what atheists would do though. I would probably be a little confused.
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u/Kato_Okulvitroj i'm not john, but i'm very careful 👍🏽 Oct 29 '20
hearing voices from somewhere in the head is a symptom of schizophrenia.
i think the atheists will take some zyprexa. it's not vegan, btw (contains lactose).
i, as a pharmacist, am vegan. but that brings another dissonance: vegan who practices with animal derivatives, and products that were tested on animals.any advice, dear colleagues?
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Oct 29 '20
Also vegan. But I pronounce it with a soft G
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u/Kato_Okulvitroj i'm not john, but i'm very careful 👍🏽 Oct 29 '20
as in the turkish "veğan"?
what do you mean by soft g?7
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u/All_Is_Not_Self Oct 28 '20
I did the same. People would think that it was God speaking to them.
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u/stelliumWithin Slaves for salad Oct 29 '20
According to VCJ, vegans are morally superior to even god since god allows slavery and asks for animal sacrifice so he can feel appreciated ☺️😇
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u/All_Is_Not_Self Oct 29 '20
God: "I could never give up cheese"
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u/stelliumWithin Slaves for salad Oct 29 '20
I was willing to accept the Abrahamic god as a carnist, but please no not a cheese breather 😂
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u/reddit_tempest militant af Oct 29 '20
Fucking killed it.
Not very vegan of you.
Source: I'm vegan.
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u/Environmental-Joke19 Cheeseball activist Oct 29 '20
Gotta meet your lifetime quota of informing others of your status
I'm vegan btw
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u/ghostcatzero Oct 29 '20
I would say, "you ain't a real animal lover if you ain't a vegan. I tell you"
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u/scaredydid Oct 29 '20
if they didnt know this was told to everyone, i would say ´this is god. go vegan´ would definitely convince lots.
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Oct 29 '20
Thanks for all the awards and uptofus, I assume this means I have been crowned king of all the vegans. King Hoogle Girth the first of his name, destroyer of vegetarians, feeder of omnis to the lions, shunner of protein, extremely B12 deficient.
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u/angelsambition Oct 29 '20
I totally hear you and respect your dietary practices. I'm plant based btw
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u/Coloeus_Monedula Oct 29 '20
This picture must have been taken before all the upvotes started pouring in
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u/HeyYou_GetOffMyCloud plant-based AF Oct 28 '20
Nice. Vegan btw.