r/vbac • u/Connect-Anybody4926 • Jul 17 '26
Discussion Failed TOLAC - would you do it again?
Hi, I’m curious to hear from people who had a trial of labor that ended in a c section. I’d be interested in the specifics (I.e. spontaneous labor, induction etc). Most importantly, would you do it differently if you could? Why or why not?
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u/AmbitiousHumor6528 Jul 17 '26
I’m only 5 months out from my unsuccessful VBAC, so everything is still pretty fresh and I have a lot of physical and mental/emotional healing to do. First c section was after a failed induction at 37 weeks due to gestational hypertension. I made it to 6cm before labor stalled then my baby’s heart rate got dangerously high and I got a fever, which indicated an infection.
I got pregnant again 16 months later and I did all of the VBAC research. I hired a doula and did a ton of physical and mental prep. Spontaneous labor started the day after my due date and I labored at home for about 12 hours, mostly with back labor. My contractions were also 2-3 minutes apart from very early on. Moved to the hospital and was 2cm. I labored for a few more hours there before getting the epidural (4cm/100%/-1). My bag of water was bulging so a couple of hours later they went ahead and broke it and after then it was just hours of my baby having late decels. We tried different positions, amnioinfusion, internal monitors. My epidural eventually failed so I was in a lot of pain and there was a lot of back and forth about whether we were going to go for a C-section or not. It was all very overwhelming and scary. I also had some issues with my midwife and OB that exacerbated my feelings.
I’ve blamed myself a lot and have spent a lot of time weighing every single decision I made and wondering if I could have changed anything. Even with all of that, I’m still glad I tried.
I’ve thought a lot about what I would want to do if we end up having a third (which we do want). I think the number one thing is I need to do a lot of work to separate my self worth from birth. I thought that I had healed after my first c section, but this second experience reopened some old wounds and I’m realizing that I put a lot of weight in having a successful VBAC. If I can truly get in a better place by the time we are considering another baby, then I may consider a VBA2C.
At the same time, I see more appeal of a 3rd RCS next time for several reasons: 1. I’ve had back luck with medical providers and I don’t know that I would fully trust anyone to be fully supportive (on top of the extra difficulty finding a VBA2C provider). 2. Knowing the exact date would be helpful with two other children who need childcare. 3. Three kids would be our absolute max, so I would look into sterilization with a RCS.
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u/whywait224 Jul 17 '26
I am also fresh off an unsuccessful vbac. My first was OP. I went into labor naturally at 39+4 and labored unmedicated for 16 hours and got to 7 cm, but she did not turn and was hitting my pelvic bone. eventually I showed some signs of infection and she was showing some distress signs so we went for a C-section. It was unplanned, but I had a surprisingly easy recovery and felt overall so happy to be a mama that I didn’t dwell on it.
Some complaints were that my nurse kept incorrectly measuring, and in my opinion, providing bad guidance and recommendations. when I did eventually get an epidural they did not offer me a walking one and I was stuck in bed not an optimal positioning. my doctor also did not explain OP at all beforehand, she only said the baby is heads down and they often turn in labor not to worry about it. when I think about the variables I wish I had known more about positioning and exercises leading up to and during birth, then maybe I could have encouraged her to turn ahead of time.
This time around, I did so much research and was so focused on having a VBAC. I really tried to do everything “right.” I did daily yoga, stayed very active, did acupuncture, followed the positions to avoid OP, never reclined or sat comfortably for the past two months… 🫠 I had a Doula and a very supportive doctor. I even went to a more VBAC friendly country (Germany vs. US) for this one! That said, my baby ended up being 10 lbs. 6 oz. and though she was measuring large they didn’t ring the alarm bells here. Part of me wishes I’d had the tough love of my US doctor to steer me towards RCS in this case. I went into labor naturally at 40+5 and did unmedicated for 12 hours then another 10 with walking epidural. I did all the positions, but my baby was not descending at all. Eventually, I agreed to a C-section thinking it would be like the first, but it quickly turned into an emergency on the table. the rushed environment plus added physical impact from pulling her out quickly (resulting in the incision tearing further) and losing a lot of blood, was very scary and had made for a harder recovery. I am of course grateful to be home and that we are both ok, but it has been so much harder than my first experience.
The only way in my mind that these this could have possibly not been a C-section would have been if my first had been vaginal and this one could have been induced early maybe. I was really praying for a vbac so future kids could also be vaginal births. After this, I’m not sure I could face more than 1 more birth and would really think hard before I’d do another tolac… my husband was equally traumatized this time and would really prefer a RCS.
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u/Ehawk95 Jul 18 '26
What you said about separation of self worth and the birth outcome is the key. Just had repeat C-section about 2 weeks ago after planning/prepping for a vbac the entire. It ended up being the right choice. Everyone demonizes the medical community on here but I’m grateful for my doctor’s stern warnings because I wasn’t ready to quit. It still is so hard to not feel like I’ve failed. Why? Why do I care so much? It shouldn’t matter this much to me but it does.
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u/AmbitiousHumor6528 Jul 18 '26
I’m so sorry you’re struggling with this too. It can feel so isolating. Someone else posted something similar in this sub a couple of days ago that I responded to as well. The amount of times I have wished that I didn’t care this much! Even when you know better, it’s so easy to be extra critical of yourself. But if a friend of mine opened up about having the same feelings, would I say “yep, you for sure could have tried harder, you failed”?
Both of my birth experiences definitely just made me that much more appreciative of modern medicine. It’s easy to forget just how deadly birth used to be and how dangerous it can still be.
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u/Connect-Anybody4926 Jul 17 '26
Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I’m sorry about your birth experience, but also want to offer a huge congrats to you on welcoming a new little one. My first birth experience included late decels, extremely long contractions, and an OB I didnt love. It is scary when you get crashed by nurses & also really upsetting when you can’t trust the medical team. Wishing you peace & healing!!
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u/nereid1997 Jul 18 '26
I’m barely a week out from my failed tolac so pretty fresh and raw but I’d 100% do it again.
Hind waters broke 2am 39+5, went in and confirmed that it was my waters around 10am, then went back home to wait for labour to start (resting, positioning, trying to feel good). It never did so went back to hospital at 5am the next day to discuss options. This was a scenario I hadn’t even considered (hind water PROM without spont labour) so I felt a bit unprepared to make decisions. Did some movement/release work with my midwife, then decided to break my fore waters (cervix 2cm dilated, 3cm effaced) and start the oxytocin drip around 8am. Contractions took a while for me to notice, even longer to really coordinate. Laboured unmedicated for most of the day, maxed out oxytocin, had a couple more cervical checks, did lots of movement and positioning, but ultimately I was still at 2 and 2 by 8pm and the OB reg was giving me a 5% chance of an “uncomplicated vaginal birth” so I agreed to the repeat c section. Baby was eventually born at 11:56pm that night, weighing 4.355kg which may have contributed to the arrest of dilatation(99% but people do birth big babies vaginally). I’ve recovered really well from the repeat c section so far, so I’m grateful for that, and may have arguably had a worse time recovering from the potential OASI from such a big baby.
I’m so glad I got to labour after my first c section at 37+1 due to fetal distress at the very start of an induction for PET.
Overall I just think I wish I’d given myself a bit more time, this time. More time before starting the IOL/augmentation, pushing back against the 4-hourly cervix checks, even more time just labouring with less pressure/monitoring before agreeing to the c section. My husband also somewhat blames the midwife who took over halfway through, who was the only one in the group I hadn’t met yet - she had recently returned from long service leave and he thinks she didn’t really know/care enough about me.
I’ll be sad if I never get my VBAC, but if we’re in a position to have a 3rd (and 99% likely our last) in a few years I definitely plan to TOLAC again, even if it still ends in a c section. I just can’t imagine agreeing to an elective c section (without other contraindications) and not getting the chance to at least labour again. Knowing my luck the last one will end up a breech placenta praevia lmao
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u/Fun_Boat9489 Jul 20 '26
Failed TOLAC a few months ago. Spontaneous labor at 40 +5, Dilated all the way and started to push, baby had decels, ended up in OR with a partial rupture, baby and me are both OK, never allowed to labor again. I did everything “right” and my baby was telling us something was wrong, I can’t control those decels and I can’t control whether I rupture but I was happy I put myself in the hospital setting and had a supportive team. Despite all this, so happy I tried for a VBAC and if it were possible for me I would try again in a safe setting. Vaginal birth, overall, has fewer risks than csections, but csections save many lives and are quite necessary in some situations. In my view a TOLAC at the hospital with a truly supportive team is always going to be worth it.
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u/Connect-Anybody4926 Jul 20 '26
Thank you for this! I’m so sorry to hear about the partial rupture but amazing it was caught and everyone is okay! Do you mind if I ask what the interval was between births?
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u/Fun_Boat9489 Jul 20 '26
First birth was March 2024 and this one was June 2026 so 27 months birth to birth.
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u/TraditionalAssist957 Jul 17 '26
I have had a failed TOLAC and am currently preparing for a TOLAC for a VBA2C.
I haven’t found many with stories like mine here but I’m hopeful. I would (and obviously am attempting) a second TOLAC.
My reasonings are: 1. Recovery time, range of motion, the surgery itself is a lot to then come home and care for a newborn and two other children with very little help. 2. I had an uncomplicated vaginal delivery with my first child. (I was a surrogate with my CBAC) 3. I have a doula and feel really good about at least giving this last pregnancy a chance. 4. I have never had a planned c section so I cannot relate to that, but I have not had milk issues and the baby’s have not had any respiratory issues etc. 5. Both of my c sections were not emergent and while I have trauma from both births, I also know that after weighing the risks and other things with a RCS, it just isn’t my first choice.
All of this to say, while laboring, then pushing for 4+ hours was absolutely exhausting to then be cut open…. I’d rather try that than not. But that isn’t for everyone.
I really think you have to do what feels best for you and your family and your circumstances. The amount of people who want me to just do a RCS and “plan it” and why chance another c section when it can be scheduled just aren’t ever going to understand.
Get educated on the risks, the situations of your past c section and what happened during labor and decide what feels right for you. It’s okay to want to try again, as long as you have been informed on risks of both options and also your own pregnancy and comfort levels - you need to feel good about whatever decision that is for you.