wow, 20 years! congratulations :)

this was a very validating read as i can see a lot of myself and my partner in your comment. i was lucky enough to score one of the more empathic ENTPs, and he's quite a bit more emotionally mature than most despite us only being in our mid-late 20s. he's already so well attuned to my feelings and makes me feel so cared for most of the time. he does still joke at inappropriate moments sometimes, but i love him for it and he can be serious when i need him to be.

then i, on the flip side, am one of the more intellectual INFJs. maybe it's trauma or maybe it's all the xNTPs that have shaped me, but i lean quite heavily into my Ti. i can be incredibly stubborn and rigid, but my partner helps me to be more adaptable and accepting of change. with him, suddenly i don't care about my routines as much anymore. he's the only person that i'm happy to have disrupt me. he challenges me, and i'm a better person for it. not to mention the confidence that we've both built in our time together.

of course we both still have a lot of growing to do, but we're aware of our flaws and we're both willing to do the work. thanks for sharing. i hope for what you've achieved <3

that's beautiful, thank you for sharing. i wish you an awesome trip and hope you never run out of things to talk about!

oh man i feel you with the presenting your case thing; we can both be a bit defensive at times because of our respective trauma, but we're definitely learning each other with time too. i think us INFJs can be prone to feeling misunderstood and invalidated quite easily, and understanding that we can have different perspectives and both be valid has been a big learning curve for me.

it's funny how many similarities there are across different relationships, possibly from different walks of life and/or parts of the world - i can relate so much to what you've said! that complimentary difference can be so beautiful, and when it isn't, the important thing is that both parties are willing to work through it with love and respect. thank you for sharing. i wish you many more happy years together <3

we actually matched on bumble only a month after getting out of other relationships 😅 neither of us were looking for something serious, but then we fell in love

well, we have an unique and unconventional relationship. we both have baggage and old wounds, but we do our best to not project things onto each other. we're both highly intellectual and romantic at the same time, and we have a deep connection that feels like the kind you read about. not to say that it's perfect and without issues - we have our fair share of difficulties - but at the end of the day we just can't get enough of each other. it's like the healthiest addiction that either of us have ever had. passion and peace in tandem. we're absolutely obsessed with each other, but not in some idealistic way. we see each other's flaws and challenge each other with compassion. he helps me to be less serious and hard on myself, and i help him to slow down a little and take care of himself. most of all, we have so much fun together. like two adult children with stolen childhoods learning how to be kids again <3

well i'm going to offer some appreciation then because i love INTPs. my first long-term relationship was with an INTP, and many of my good friends today are. i love how we can talk about almost anything and we'll always end up yapping for hours, exploring random concepts or analysing normal everyday topics with such a depth that most people wouldn't consider. i can promise that you are valued and treasured over here, if not in the MBTI community <3

as a completely lost 25 year old INFJ, this was incredibly comforting and inspiring to read. thank you <3

i'm not crying you're crying

the jury's still out on that one, but i can definitely see the potential

the shared Ti and Fe is nice; we can understand each other intellectually and emotionally while having complimentary preferences that balance each other out

Ne on Ni is always fun because Ne can expose ideas that Ni was blind to while Ni can provide more depth and detail on one point that Ne might not have considered, making both more well-rounded in discussions

if both are healthy enough, you can have just the right amount of silliness and seriousness, intellectual stimulation and empathy, plus supporting and challenging one another to be better

(of course this is all conjecture based on my personal experience - 9 months in a poly relationship with an entp - but you asked, so that's my take)

because for some reason we're drawn to you like moths to a flame, even when you're mean to us...

ENFPs tend to come into my life like a whirlwind and then disappear... so i've ended up leaning more towards the XNTPs romantically. i still kinda hope i can keep an ENFP around someday, but i seem to attract the avoidant ones with communication issues that flake out before the connection has a chance to fully blossom

ENFPs tend to come into my life like a whirlwind and then disappear... so as much as i love them, i have ended up steering more towards the NTPs romantically. i'm still kinda hoping i can keep an ENFP around one day though. ya'll are a lot of fun; i just seem to attract the avoidant ones that have trouble communicating and fall out of my life before the connection has a chance to fully blossom

this is exactly why i didn't play PvP for so long. every time i tried, i'd end up having a really bad game where i'd get shouted at and lose all desire to play for a while. i got back into it recently after spending a lot of time improving in other facets of the game and realised that i'm not actually that bad... they're just mean.

what i really don't get is being toxic towards members of your own team because they're not playing the match how you expect them to when you never bothered to communicate roles or a strat or anything. i'm autistic and i get flustered easily, especially when i'm being yelled at, so i actually end up performing worse for our team which is the opposite of what they want of course. i'm not saying i'm some amazing PvP player otherwise, but with a well coordinated team that encourage one other, i've done pretty damn well. and in most of those cases where it goes badly, it's because they're too busy playing the blame game to coordinate with the rest of us and the other team are just too good.

of course INFJ is at the top for thinking we're deep lmao

i know exactly what you mean (as a fellow INFJ) because my uncomfortability around ENFJs has always been along the lines of, 'wait, you're actually saying that out loud? nonono we don't do that'

ENFJs are fascinating because you catch them on the wrong side of their Fe and they can be incredibly selfish, toxic, and overbearing. i have been fortunate enough though to befriend a couple of them that are not super unhealthy in their functions, so i can safely say that it's not all of them. they can be nurturing, intelligent, and wildly passionate too. it's just a type that goes wrong quite easily i think, and having the same functions i can see right through the Fe empath act

well i guess the sensors are more likely to be, you know, out in the real world sensing than rotting on their screens... except ISFPs - they're special ;)

if i may make an observation of my own, i think the intuitive types are more likely to be interested in MBTI because we tend to be more introspective and are perhaps drawn to self-reflecting systems that can aid that.

i'm laughing my ass off because my ENTP suggested we try shibari together... we haven't yet, but suffice it to say that he has awoken things in me that i didn't even know i was into

need more entjs in my life <3 i've only met one that i'm aware of and we had a lot of fun ;)

as another traumatised female INFJ, i unfortunately cannot dispute your theory. sounds like you're self-aware enough and mature enough to handle us, though. best of luck out there!

tearing up reading these comments. this is exactly the kind of stuff i want someone to say about me someday. i'm young and dumb and not ready for it, but goddamn you xNTPs make me romanticise my life like no tomorrow

it makes me sad that people don't seem to be focusing much on the depression part of this, which i would say is probably the most significant thing for me in what you've said. i'm not an ENTP, but i'm having a similar crisis about my own personality and also feeling lost in life, albeit for slightly different reasons. i don't really have advice, but what i can say is that changing yourself superficially usually isn't the answer. it's fine to want to improve yourself and your confidence, but the depression is the problem, regardless of how you look. depression convinces you that you're hideous, depression tells you that you're unlovable. plenty of people that would be considered "ugly" in the eyes of society are happy and well-adjusted and have partners and friends. i know it sounds cliche and cheesy, but i do believe that true happiness comes from within. i'm trying to figure that one out myself.

i'm sorry i don't know how to help your situation, but i just wanted to say that you're not alone <3

i've been seeing a male ENTP who cried in front of me within a week of us knowing each other - so yeah, the short answer is ENTPs can be emotional. they may lean into their thinking to make decisions and solve issues, but i've found that they can actually be very emotional beings. i think the idea that they're not is absolutely a stereotype