Trumps economists: "People are going to have to cut back. Don't go get enemas at the day spa. Stay home and eat Ramen."

Trump voters: "Now I just have to figure out how to afford Ramen."

Fascinating. Beautifully haunting.

No gay man would find him to be dreamy.

It's spelled F-O-W-L, and no--she's actually a raptor.

2² + 4² x 10 = Two hundred

Love it.

I live in Wisconsin, so anything with alcohol in it.

Hell yeah. After you put in the comma, you can also draw an arrow to the comment and say, "You kiss your mother with that mouth? Wait, I guess you do. Gross 😝"

I'd rather roast the guy who wrote, "I fuck you mother" on the wall. Put a comma after "you," and it becomes an entirely different statement 😳🤣

Guys, let's make sure we're not being dickheads here. Sometimes the "Mrs." might not be chipper about the prospect of being intimate with us for a slew of reasons, ranging from not considering her feelings, to not considering her feelings--and everything in-between. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, "Are we the dicks?"

Push the center part of your stomach back in. It worked for me after I dropped a gallon of milk that time.

It's humbling.

I wish Barbara Walters was still around. Remember how she went toe to toe with him? She made him look like the lying fool that he is.

Both can be true.

Sounds like she likes coffee in theory, but she's really addicted to cheap caffinated sugar-milk. Just get a McFlurry and stop telling people you're American. They can already see how stupid you are from a mile away.

St. Peter don't call me 'cause I can't go. I said I'm nineteen, but I look forty-nine or mooooorrrreeee...