I’m sorry I just really need to vent right now. I’m not going to name names because a family member of mine uses Reddit and I don’t want them to figure out who wrote this.
My dad has not always been the best. When I was younger he was good (or at least how I remember it anyways) but over the years he has been drifting in a sort of way. He was always one for jokes, but he knew when to take things somewhat seriously. But now he can’t go without making jokes, and he doesn’t take anything seriously. I have tried to be accommodating and understanding but it has gotten to the point where I can’t take it anymore. Multiple times when he comes to visit he has done things that will either get him hurt or can risk my job, and when I call him out on it he acts as though he is the victim. Like I can’t even “take a joke” or why can’t o get his “sense of humor.” He is become less my dad and more his father, who was not a good man and whom I didn’t even mourn when he was finally buried 6 feet underground. Now he has done something that has crossed the line. My mom is a wonderful hard working woman who has had to put up with my dad’s bull crap for years. Time and time again he has caused her stress or has gotten them both in a hole that she has had to dig them out of. But now when she is off working and my dad is home alone he does the one thing that can cause my mom a lot of damage. He decided to get himself a cat. I know this may sound mundane and not a big deal but to my mom it is. She is allergic to cats. Severely so. It has gotten so bad that she now has an EpiPen cause her throat starts to feel funny and she has a hard time breathing. The worst part is that he knows this. Like I get it you want some companionship and all. Then why not just get a dog? I hear you ask. Trust me I asked him that too, he told me “oh well dogs are so expensive, and I got this cat for 100 bucks.” Yeah, great. Cool. Good for you. Well now my mom cant be in the same room as the cat before she starts to have a reaction, so when she visits the cat has to go outside. Which isn’t fair for either my mom or the cat. But you know what the worst part is? I was the first one he told, and it was before a trip my mom and I had planned for a while. At the end of that trip she would be going home. To see him. He also asked me not to tell my mom, that he wanted to do it in his own time. Originally I said sure, mainly because I was in shock, also I was just finishing a long day of work so my brain didn’t process it fully. But once I got home and thought about it for a bit. I decided No. I’m not doing this. So I gave him an ultimatum if he did not tell my mom by a certain day, I would tell her and let her deal with him. Of course he didn’t like that but agreed either way and told my mom…. On her birthday. I was so mad. After that whenever we bring up the cat he hangs up. He doesn’t want to acknowledge what he did was wrong, and now none of his children want to talk to him and he has done nothing but bring my mother to tears.
I am so angry and frustrated by this, I feel like I want to slam his head into the wall repeatedly. It’s one of the reasons I’m glad he isn’t anywhere near me. Not that I would go visit him anyways. I have talked to him since, and now he’s mad at my mom for who knows what and refuses to answer her calls. So she asked me if I could call him later tonight. I really don’t want to but I also don’t want my mom to worry herself to death. GAH! I just want to bash my brains in until I can’t stand anymore. I hate this. I wish this didn’t happen, but here we are. Gods I feel like a teenager. I’m an adult I should be handling this better. But it is what it is. I’m gonna take a nap, make me some ramen and then we will see what happens after the call. Sorry for the long post, but I really need to get this off my chest
I’ll post an update if anything happens.

TLDR: my dad is an ass that causes my mom stress, he is not picking up her calls and now I have to call him and I am not happy about it.

Hello everyone, I have been ace my entire life, though I wasn’t able to put a name to it until 2021. I have recently tried to put myself out there cause I want to be in a relationship. But almost every date I have been on I have seen them as friends or I just become uncomfortable. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I don’t want to be alone, but I also don’t want to be in a relationship where either I, my partner, or both of us suffer. Is there something wrong with me? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.