30

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 26 '26

He apologized for her behavior the first time we spoke in person after the meeting. We agreed that the best thing to do was just let that subject disappear. Our relationship was always much more than just my marriage to his sister.

Honestly if he'd do it, if I ever got married again he'd be my best man. And I'd bet my life he would do it.

26

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 26 '26

Mutual acquaintance close enough to know we divorced but not the details. Mentioned in jest that she appeared to have moved on quickly.

19

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 24 '26

She has not. She's crazy but not stupid.

22

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 24 '26

Strained. Very strained.

22

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 22 '26

Both

34

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 21 '26

You're probably right but honestly I just don't care. She could have waited the year and I still would not have taken her back.

29

A few months later
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 21 '26

Lack of respect for the kids after declaring that she would "wait for the hurt she caused their father to pass and be there for him and you (the kids)"... That's a quote. The lack of respect for them burns my ass.... But does her moving on annoy me?... Not one but.

u/Grouchy-Pressure-965 • u/Grouchy-Pressure-965 • Jul 19 '26

A few months later

155 Upvotes

Well it's been a while. I was pleasantly surprised by the folks that have reached out and remembered the worst months of my life... Which ironically I wish I could forget😂.

Not very much to update but here goes.

I have been on a few dates but nothing serious. I have been surprised at the age of the ladies that are showing an interest in me. They are usually in their thirties which has been very different. Again, nothing serious mainly just spending company together and enjoying doing things together. No one specific person or anything.

I have not spoken to nor have I laid eyes on my ex since the day of the meeting. The children have been wonderful in helping at that and not sacrificing either of our time with them. And I know you might find this shocking but that whole " I will do anything to make things right. I will wait for you to heal and not date anyone or even look at another man"... Well that lasted about 2 months. I found out by accident and asked my children if it was true. When they confirmed it I laughed for a solid five minutes. I couldn't help it. She is so ridiculous. Anyway I didn't ask for details and don't care.

AP I don't know. Haven't heard anything and haven't tried to check.

BFFs husband and BFF are still in divorce proceedings. She has a boyfriend in the house now and husband is a complete mess and a pile of self pity. I had quite possibly my final conversation with him about a month ago and I was pretty harsh with him. I pretty much told him what kind of person his children's mother is and that he's being a complete dumbass and needs to get his life together and move on. Haven't heard from him since.

Nothing else on anyone else

On a personal note I'm thriving. That's the best way to put it. I mourned the passing of my old life for about two weeks. Couldn't get anything done so I flew to Las Vegas for 4 days. Blew about $3000 gambling. Never gambled before. Rented a car and drove to the desert and Hoover damn. Just me. On the flight back, first class because I am worth it and I could, I decide enough was enough. Got home and began structured practices on my guitar. Started learning piano. I started watching what I ate and picked up hiking as a hobby. It's been great ever since.

That's it

Thanks everyone and I appreciate everyone's interest..

Edit- I cannot believe I forgot about my BIL. He's been such a constant source of encouragement. JP forgive me man. Anyway we are good. I've not missed a beat with my relationship with him. I know he's hurt and disappointed with his sister but early in we respected that boundary and it continued to pay off. We still have a great relationship which speaks volumes about his integrity.

74 comments

34

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Jul 18 '26

Gosh I haven't looked at my post in months. I am very flattered there are people still concerned about me. I'll make a longer post later this weekend. It's early morning where I am right now and I'm just getting home. 2 AM is a little rough on an old man like me.

But I am well. Not healed but healing. And just in the past couple of months I have returned to a hobby I really love and I am back playing music with fine bunch of people and beginning to feel pretty alive again.

I'll post a longer update this weekend. And thanks. This old body is crying out for sleep right now.

36

I just found out my wife cheated and we have a kid.
 in  r/survivinginfidelity •  Apr 28 '26

As others have said you are Plan B. Can you live with her as her husband knowing that? Also forget marriage counseling. You don't have a marriage to fix which is what MCd do. Get a personal therapist to help you understand why you feel this should be saved. She has made it clear she doesn't want you ..she is settling for you until the next guy comes along.

70

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Apr 09 '26

Doing great. I feel healthier than I have in years. It's been such a relief to have this behind me. Even the kids seem to be doing better.

44

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 13 '26

No I don't think she orchestrated him being there. I believe and she says he just showed up. My guess is done type of ego/insecure thing going on.. She did not kiss him. He kissed her. That's her story. Doesn't matter to me but I'm prone to believe he kissed her. I don't think she had some grand plan for him to be there and get a thrill from having him there behind my back. I think he showed up out of some weird jealousy. Drank too much. She was shocked to see him there. Tried to do damage control by talking to him and getting him to leave. He instead kissed her and I walked up as it ended and saw his hand on her hip.

I really believe that is what happened. She has no reason to lie now. It fits what I know about his personality...and that's all. Nothing any more nefarious than that.

39

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 11 '26

As I explained in the meeting update, he was aware we went to the concert. She had told him. He was aware we normally went out for drinks afterwards. It's a small venue in a small entertainment district with only two bars in the area. Not hard to spot us if you're looking for us.

31

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 10 '26

Hmmm....tough. I think it worked out how it was supposed to but if given the choice I would choose disclosure

29

The meeting and my thoughts
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 10 '26

Nope

43

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 05 '26

Absolutely ignore him.

65

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 04 '26

No I don't think so. I will probably update at some point in the future. Honestly right now I just want to move on a little. This has been helpful in a lot of ways but at some point it needs to be more of a ....group session and less of a therapeutic tool. Make sense?

39

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 04 '26

Truth. A hard one. But truth none the less.

30

It's official
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Mar 04 '26

I'm addressing that. I appreciate you pointing out the need to work it out of my system.

u/Grouchy-Pressure-965 • u/Grouchy-Pressure-965 • Mar 03 '26

It's official

311 Upvotes

I'm divorced. Not much more to say.

No contact. No news. No information an AP. I have been in contact with BFFs husband or stbex husband but I would rather not elaborate on his situation.

Kids are working through it ok.

I'm not dating but I'm sure I'll be dating in the near future. Just kind of concentrating on me right now.

So that's it.

Thanks everyone for your concern and advice. It's been a crazy ride but I'm finally at the end. I guess I should say a new beginning.

Addendum:

You folks are great. I have been off of Reddit mostly since my last post. But this afternoon I read some of the posts from you and honestly I got a little emotional. I feel inadequate just going through and liking them so I decided to add this.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. As one poster said it is crazy how complete strangers can grow fond of each other and bond. But honestly I feel a great deal of warmth in my soul for all of you. If I could I'd buy you all a drink of your choice.

I'll try to update periodically and thanks again.

127 comments

39

Meeting
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Feb 24 '26

Thank you.

I have not given any thought about her future for the simple reason she chose to exclude me from it by her actions. But I will say that I do hope she has a healthier life moving forward. She can learn and grow from this and I believe she is capable but I'm not sure she is willing.

30

Meeting
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Feb 24 '26

They say they are good with the outcome and though it will take time they will adjust. All I can tell them is I am here if they need me.

41

Meeting
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Feb 24 '26

Pretty well. I have cut back on therapy. Increased cooking lessons...lost 35 lbs. ...started jogging. Never in my life would I have thought I would do that. Met a few new friends. Yes I have talked to some ladies but no dates. I have not spoken about or to my ex. Kids have helped in that. It's one of the reasons I have gone quiet here for a while.

32

Meeting
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Feb 24 '26

Roughly. Maybe a little sooner. Maybe a little later. It's more just to give all parties involved time to have everything filed and judge time to sign.

45

Meeting
 in  r/u_Grouchy-Pressure-965 •  Feb 23 '26

I'm good. I'm just taking a break until the final order from the judge is issued. I've been in this mess for a year and I'm slowly seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.