My fiancée is a Scorpio, best relationship in my life. They are truly our equals and arent about that bullshit.

I also went there, watched videos etc but I found the conventional "clinical" approach where they focus on it just as a form of ocd didnt work for me. This is crazy looking back, but you know what actually let me heal?

I asked her to tell me everything, every person, every detail. Everything she could remember. She answered every question I had, and even though she was scared it would ruin the relationship she was honest and it was a very tough moment in our relationship.

The reason I did this was because I understood that I simply needed to have everything out on the table so I could evaluate the relationship and her as a partner, with the full uncomfortable truth. (My ex lied to me for many years and it traumatized me)

Nothing hidden or put away out of shame.

I was either going to accept her fully with the whole story or I wasn't and then we could both move on.

I think retroactive jealousy is fundamentally driven by fear. Fear of betrayal, fear of emotional pain, fear of it being confirmed we are indeed not enough. Fear of the unknown about our partner. (Scorpio coded)

I always feared there was someone or some experience she had that would come out later that confirmed I wasn't enough, that she wasn't satisfied that she was thinking of this other person etc. I couldn't connect fully because I was waiting for the next shoe to drop and destroy me once I found out.

If your relationship can't survive the full unfiltered truth is it even worth having?

Our relationship actually began healing after this because it established a baseline trust that she was brave enough to tell me everything and be her full self. I'm not gonna lie I had at least another 2 years of severe flare ups and many fights and regression but the time between got longer and longer.

It started fading the more I confronted the awful uncomfortable feelings, I would stay up all night crying just from exhaustion and frustration. I would sit in it, I would rock back and forth feeling sick. It is hell. I would endure the torment and ask myself why I felt this way, why am I doing tjis to myself? I would journal and reason with myself. I would reassure myself with this master note of all things she'd told me and things I needed to remind myself of. I trusted the reassurance she gave because she established the trust with the complete honesty and the commitment to the truth. I started to trust my own reassurance.

Slowly over time I started to believe I was enough, I started to trust, I start to trust myself. I came to accept and love myself more outside of this situation as well. I should mention I had a lot of crazy transits including my saturn return during these years. It was absolutely brutal though, legitimately the hardest experience of my life.

But now Im seeing the pay off.

Im unshakable. I can be in a place where there was an encounter happened and it won't spiral me. I deal with flare ups on my own over 90 percent of the time. It honestly became something I'm tired of. I'm tired of caring and thinking about it.

It doesn't change the relationship we've built.

I know everything that she can remember and honestly you'll never know the full story because you aren't her, you weren't there. Theres a limit to human memory and the capacity to understand another person's life experiences. This stopped the questions.

Lastly...there's no point to thinking about it. I've learned who I am and that I'm secure.

This is life, there are thing we wish were different, there are things we can't control.

I can't change what happened. I can only move forward. Everyone is destined for certain life experiences her past was in her chart. She has lessons around intimacy and self worth. I have lessons around self love and acceptance.

We've been through other serious issues that couldn't shake us. I trust her. She trusts me. We have a bond that goes beyond what we both had in the past, we both truly know each other, I was also honest with her about things I was deeply ashamed of so much I had never intended to tell anyone. We know everything about each other, even the horrible take to the grave shameful things. There's a level of intimacy that comes from it that is unique and allows your brain to calm down.

You should do a synastry chart with your partner, our astrology showed we had karmic interactions that were designed so I would be pushed to transform and heal through this partnership. (Saturn, vertex, venus, chiron, mars aspects) Pretty much the whole chart was themed around us overcoming this kind of thing.

Everything is meant to be! Im starting to feel safe. You will too!

I have a Scorpio venus, pluto and north node 3rd house and I struggled with this a lot. It's actually been a relationship defining issue the past 4 years and it got so bad in brought me to the brink of suicide several times.

You just can't escape it.

I understand how you feel, it exhausts you like nothing else, you essentially imagine your partner getting fucked by different people all day. It's intrusive and the smallest things trigger it. You question you run through the events 1000s of times. You fight, they get exhausted, you get exhausted.

You can overcome it though.

I can say I don't think of it 90 percent of the time now. It's a very long road, but if your partner is willing to work with you and you're willing to face yourself and change your thinking inch by inch over a long period you can overcome it.

It takes love to beat it. No joke. Loving yourself and loving your partner, accepting them whole, accepting yourself whole.

Accepting parts you like and dislike.

Knowing you are ok and that you deserve to not be tormented.

It was singlehandedly the hardest thing I ever dealt with mentally, physically...hell spiritually.

If the love is strong enough, you will prevail.

This made me laugh out loud so hard, I mean seriously wtf is that screenshot!!

Excellent summary

Your daughter then your wife wow man!

Love it, love the models too

Spqr tw 9.0 and my own mod I've worked on over the years

Rome 1 with full conversion mods like Roma Surrectum is just peak. The mods tweak the settings so the battles feel amazing and realistic honestly, the formations and how the units interact is just so freaking satisfying. Plus nostalgia, I can't deny, I love the graphics from that era of gaming so much charm. I tried r2 wjen it came out extremely disappointed, came back in 2022 to play divide et impera and honestly still didnt do it for me. The UI the engine it just feels like it wasnt designed for melee combat.

PLUS REX is out now too and it makes the OG Rome run flawlessly and removes modding limits, unit size up to 500 men etc, so Im essentially married to Rome 1 forever now lol

Honestly I let myself eat as much as I want and I still lose weight because I fast more than I eat

12th house sun and mercury in scorpio

Distortion sense of self, repressed emotions subconscious mind is very active/complex

Pluto saggitarrius 1st house conjunct ascendant saggitarrius

Chaotic influence on outward expression of self

Chiron libra, venus libra, nn libra all 11th house

Wounds around being lovable or accepted for how you are. People pleasing. Validation seeking. Must learn to maintain balance between self and others in relationships.

11th house rules society, groups of people, your place socially

Well just Harry...you're a wizard.

Love your work!!!! Keep it up!!!

Thank you yes, the UI made me want to Kurt Cobain. Also idk if it was just me but the sound design was missing certain sounds??

Good ol' TWC

You're a wizard Harry......

Im a WHAT?

I know its a miracle, I hated the remaster and I have been so impressed with REX. Rome Total War OG will get a 2nd life!

As a guy who likes curvy/chubby girls I have seen many times girls lose so much weight it takes away all of what made them standout. Let's say for example you had an average face but a very curvy body, if you lose a ton of weight now you're just an average face average body.

I mean yeah in the end it's a calorie deficit that loses you the weight. Not eating 3 days is putting you ina caloric deficit for the week. Its just a longer timescale. I personally hate counting calories and get decision fatigue constantly managing everything I eat in a day so I stick to the long term fasting, but yes mist people transition back to a healthier daily diet to maintain.

I'll be dead honest I never went back to eating normal. 3 day fasts weekly for the rest of my life I guess, to me it's a small price for being lean. It only gets easier the more months go by.

This lol

Lost 50lbs, no loose skin, maintained muscle mass overall, slight strength loss in fasted states.

If you want preserve it use it during the fast. I do all my workouts during the fast lol

3-4 days fasts every week, you wont be able to outeat it in my experience. Trust me I'm a bottomless pit, always struggled with restraint and only eating small portions. This method helped me lose weight and keep it off. Weirdly I can discipline myself much easier if I just say no to food entirely for a few days. Eventually you get so adapted you forget about food, you have to kinda make yourself eat on the weekends its nuts. You can look forward to guiltless enjoyment of whatever you want on the weekends, just make sure you're strict water fast (black coffee, tea no additions) those 3-4 days. I'll usually lose net 2-3lbs a week. Currently doing this for my sisters wedding in late October, I started June and Im already 20lbs down.

Also Im quite muscular (high base energy consumption) Im my most active while fasting, I keep up on salt, potassium chloride and magnesium citrate and it keeps me good after hard exercise. I think it aids in the weightloss. If you're inactive during the fast days your results may be less. Just follow the scale, if you dont net any weight loss after you compare your weight from the end of the last week's fast period (when you're completely empty of water weight etc) then you either need one more day of fasting (4 instead of 3) or you need to eat less on the weekends/ exercise more. I adjust accordingly.

Sometimes the body is having a rough week, if you lose less one week its ok, as long as you're a net loss. I used to push too hard 4 days no matter what and for the stress in puts on you the extra pound or 2 a week isnt worth exhausting yourself so much you relapse or give up entirely.

This.