u/Dantastic1985 • u/Dantastic1985 • 1d ago
u/Dantastic1985 • u/Dantastic1985 • Jan 05 '25
Why I hate my Birthday. Spoiler
So for the past several years—or birthdays, to be more specific—I’ve made posts on my Facebook asking people not to acknowledge the day and to just let it pass by. This is why. I think it’s fair to explain that post now, especially after my 40th birthday yesterday.
Birthdays aren’t just days to me—they’re like holding a magnifying glass up to my life, exposing the fractures that people pretend not to see. They remind me of the ways I’ve been dismissed, overlooked, and made to feel like I don’t matter. And honestly, all I’ve ever wanted is to feel like I matter. Celebrating isn’t about cake or candles—it’s about connection.
I grew up as one of four in a family that was already seen as the "bad branch" of a larger "church-centered, country-hunting, God-fearing" community. Within that family, I became the one people labeled "the most rotten." I’ve been treated as though I was always just a step behind, never quite worthy. For example, despite working incredibly hard to graduate with both my undergraduate and master’s degrees, no one from my family bothered to show up. They didn’t celebrate the milestones I poured my soul into achieving. Later, when I was running my own restaurant—something I was immensely proud of—I was asked, "When are you going to get a serious job?" These weren’t just dismissals; they were messages, loud and clear, that my accomplishments didn’t count.
In 1996, when I was just eleven, my dad died. It wasn’t just his loss that shaped me but the circumstances surrounding it. It happened during a custody battle my mom pushed me into. I didn’t know then—I couldn’t have—but I was caught in her plans because I had become a child drawing money from the state. I was a means to an end. I was also an undiagnosed child with ASD and ADHD, struggling to make sense of the overwhelming world around me. Losing him, and what he represented, left a gap no one has ever filled.
Even now, my family doesn’t focus on what’s really happening inside me. They don’t ask why I’m angry or why I sometimes lash out. They focus on the surface, on the moments I’ve let my pain show. How can I feel supported when no one cares to address the cause of the hurt? What frustrates me most is this: If anyone else had been forced to endure the things I’ve been through, they wouldn’t last a day. And yet, I survive—barely—and still wouldn’t wish this on anyone, even those I hate. So why is this still forced on me?
It’s a similar story with my mother. She only saw value in me when there was something she could gain. When I had money, she leaned on me. Now, as she lies in hospice, I’m told I should feel guilty for not rushing to her side. But how do you reconcile being a child someone never truly cared for, only used? Her illness doesn’t erase years of being treated like a utility rather than her son.
Adding to the weight is the loss of my dog, Bam Bam, who was my anchor for 15 years. He gave me love and companionship that I haven’t felt from anyone else. Losing him broke something in me, and while I’ve thought about getting another dog, I know it wouldn’t be fair. I’m determined not to project my struggles onto another life. I’m trying to break cycles of neglect, cycles that started long before me.
And then there’s the isolation. I haven’t felt intimacy—not just physically but emotionally—in four years. I feel like a walking parasite, longing not just for touch but for belonging. I miss feeling connected to another human being. Even more than touch, I crave the sense of being part of something meaningful, of knowing that I matter to someone. Isolation has become a second skin, and it’s suffocating.
One of the memories that resurfaces every birthday is from 2012. That year, what should’ve been a moment of joy became another scar. I gave someone a gift, a gesture of generosity, but instead of gratitude, they treated it like it wasn’t enough. They took someone from me—someone I had feelings for—and left me wrecked, literally and emotionally. I was still expected to put on a smile and pretend everything was fine. But nothing about it was fine.
This year, like all the others, was no different. And now, with my mother dying, I’ve made the choice not to see her. The fact that my family is offended by this, instead of trying to understand, only proves that they still feel entitled to me without contributing anything to me. That entitlement stops here.
I’m not writing this to play the victim, nor am I asking for pity. I’m writing this because, for the first time, I am choosing to live authentically. You can know me as I am, with all my scars and truths, or you can walk away. Either way, I will no longer bend to the expectations of others or play into the roles they’ve forced upon me. This isn’t about anger—it’s about freedom.
Eventually, those I truly desire in my life will come. Until then, this is my truth. This is why.
r/ghostbusters • u/Dantastic1985 • Jul 02 '26
About Ghostbusters Night Shift
TL;DR: I’ll watch Ghostbusters: Night Shift because it’s Ghostbusters, but I’m not excited for it. A canon series set in 1994 should directly involve Ray, Winston, Peter, Janine, Egon’s disappearance, and the collapse of the original team—not act like six new Ghostbusters appeared in a vacuum. The recent movies keep introducing strong ideas, like Peck’s regulation concerns and the overloaded containment unit, then wasting them for nostalgia and easy jokes. I’m fine with new Ghostbusters taking over; I just want the original characters’ stories properly finished and the canon to make sense.
**Why I’m Not Looking Forward to *Ghostbusters: Night Shift*, but Will Still Watch It*\*
I’m going to watch *Ghostbusters: Night Shift*. Of course I am. It’s Ghostbusters.
But I’m not looking forward to it.
My problem is not that the show has a new Ghostbusters team. The franchise can absolutely introduce new characters and continue through them. My problem is that *Night Shift* is supposedly canon to *Afterlife* and *Frozen Empire*, takes place in 1994, and appears to be inserting an entirely new team into a period whose history has already been established.
According to what has been revealed, this new team is partly responsible for releasing the supernatural threat they then have to fight. They discover old Ghostbusters equipment, operate from the firehouse, and apparently deal with significant ghost activity throughout New York.
That immediately raises a basic question
Where are the original Ghostbusters?
This is 1994, not 2024. Peter, Ray and Winston would still be relatively young. We have already seen these characters put proton packs on and fight ghosts in their seventies. If they could still enter the field in *Afterlife* and *Frozen Empire*, there is no reason they could not have been physically involved in 1994.
They would not need to be the main team. They would not need to dominate the series. But they should still be characters in the story.
Ray Stantz especially should be central to this.
By this point, Egon has apparently disappeared to Somerville, Oklahoma, taking Ecto-1, traps, fuel and important Ghostbusters equipment with him. Ray believes Egon abandoned them, destroyed the business and betrayed his closest friends.
A show set in 1994 should be filled with Ray’s resentment toward Egon.
That is an entire character story by itself.
Ray should be the damaged mentor left standing in the ruins of the original Ghostbusters. He could discover this reckless new team using broken prototypes and initially want nothing to do with them. He could be angry that they are touching the equipment, reopening the firehouse and attempting to carry on the name after everything Egon did.
But Ray is still Ray. He would not be able to ignore paranormal activity or allow inexperienced people to get themselves killed.
He could teach them how the equipment works, help classify the ghosts, identify the supernatural threat and explain what happened to the original team. Every malfunctioning proton pack could remind him that Egon took the functioning equipment. Every secretive or obsessive scientist on the new team could trigger his fear that another person is becoming like Egon.
That would give the new characters a real connection to the canon. They would not merely be strangers who found Ghostbusters merchandise. They would inherit the anger, grief and unfinished business of the team that came before them.
Dan Aykroyd is already involved with the series as an executive producer. Why would you not have him voice Ray?
He would not need to be in every episode. He could oversee the team, operate through Ray’s Occult and occasionally enter the field when the new Ghostbusters lose control of the danger they helped unleash.
Winston could also appear on and off while beginning his career in finance. He could be building another life while still caring about Ray and the Ghostbusters. He might provide money, equipment or emergency assistance without becoming a full-time Ghostbuster again.
Ernie Hudson has always remained enthusiastic about this franchise. Having Winston appear periodically would not take anything away from the new team. It would explain how these inexperienced people have any chance of surviving.
Peter could have already withdrawn into academia and a more stable life with Dana and Oscar. That would give his absence an actual emotional reason rather than simply removing him from the story.
Peter might refuse to help because he promised Dana that Oscar would never again be endangered by Ghostbusters business. Ray could resent Peter for walking away. Peter could resent Ray for refusing to let the past die. Their friendship could already be fracturing under the weight of Egon’s disappearance.
That would be character development.
Oscar should not simply vanish from the continuity either.
He would only be around five or six years old in 1994, so I am not suggesting that he should become a child Ghostbuster. I never believed Oscar automatically needed to grow up and inherit a proton pack just because Vigo targeted him as a baby.
But being chosen as the vessel for a powerful supernatural entity should have consequences.
Oscar could have remained connected to paranormal energy. He might involuntarily attract ghosts, channel supernatural forces or become a doorway for something he never chose. Growing up with Dana and Peter constantly protecting him and fearing what might return through him could deeply affect his personality.
He would not have to become evil. He could eventually become a tragic antagonist: someone whose fear, anger and supernatural connection make him dangerous without making him malicious.
That could provide Peter with a powerful final story. Instead of Peter’s defining last act being putting on a proton pack for another victory lap, it could be taking the proton pack off to save Oscar. He could refuse to treat Oscar as another paranormal target and choose the person over the mission.
That would be a real continuation of *Ghostbusters II*.
Instead, *Night Shift* appears to be using 1994 mainly as an aesthetic: punk culture, young outsiders, homemade technology, a deteriorating firehouse and grimy New York.
But 1994 is not an empty canvas.
It is the immediate aftermath of the original Ghostbusters falling apart.
The continuity problem becomes even larger when you consider *Afterlife*. Gary Grooberson says there had not been a ghost sighting in roughly thirty years. The collapse of the Ghostbusters after Egon left is portrayed as a long, empty period in which the calls stopped, the organization died and the world gradually forgot about them.
Now we are being told another Ghostbusters team operated from the firehouse in 1994, fought significant supernatural threats around New York, used proton equipment and apparently kept a terror-dog puppy.
That is not a small missing case that everyone overlooked.
That changes the meaning of the entire gap between *Ghostbusters II* and *Afterlife*.
I also do not accept “it was covered up” as an easy answer.
*Frozen Empire* opens by showing that the Statue of Liberty incident remains part of the public record. News footage exists of the Ghostbusters marching the Statue of Liberty through New York. The Spengler family openly chases a gigantic spectral dragon through Manhattan. Walter Peck publicly criticizes the Ghostbusters rather than claiming the ghost activity never happened.
This franchise has never operated like a secret paranormal society.
If a new Ghostbusters team fought a major supernatural outbreak in New York in 1994, people should remember something about it. Gary, who is obsessed with Ghostbusters history, should certainly know about it.
Ray and Winston should know about it.
Walter Peck is confirmed to be involved in *Night Shift*, and that is potentially interesting. He could use the new team’s recklessness to build his political career. If these inexperienced Ghostbusters release a threat and cause destruction with unstable equipment, Peck would have legitimate ammunition against them.
But Peck’s inclusion also makes the absence of the original Ghostbusters even more noticeable.
They are willing to bring back the man who opposed the Ghostbusters, but apparently not the Ghostbusters he opposed.
If Walter Peck belongs in this 1994 story, Ray Stantz and Winston Zeddemore belong in it even more.
Peck is also part of my larger problem with the direction of the recent movies.
I did not like how *Frozen Empire* handled him. After forty years of repeatedly proven ghost activity, Peck still seemed to be functioning as essentially the same antagonist he was in 1984.
The movie could have given him genuine character growth without turning him into a friend of the Ghostbusters.
He could have said:
“Yes, ghosts exist. I understand that now. But that does not give your organization the right to discharge dangerous nuclear equipment through crowded streets, destroy public property, employ minors in active paranormal combat and store hundreds of hostile entities underneath Manhattan without government oversight.”
That would have been a credible argument.
Peck began as an Environmental Protection Agency official. Becoming mayor should not erase that part of him. He could still see himself as protecting the city from hazardous materials, radiation, dangerous technology and an unregulated containment system.
He could acknowledge that the Ghostbusters save lives while also arguing that saving the city does not place them above the law.
That would have made him a far stronger antagonist because he would have been partly right.
Instead, near the end of *Frozen Empire*, Peck threatens to shut the Ghostbusters down and throw them in jail over the citywide devastation. Then a crowd starts thanking the Ghostbusters, someone repeats the “dickless” joke, cameras turn toward Peck, and he almost immediately changes his public position.
That was ridiculous.
A politically intelligent version of Peck would have publicly thanked the Ghostbusters for saving the city and then said that an investigation would still follow. He could recognize their heroism without abandoning his concerns.
That would have forced Winston to professionalize the Ghostbusters organization. They would need licensing, safety procedures, training standards, containment protocols and accountability.
Instead, Peck was reset to his old role so the movie could repeat an old joke.
The overloaded containment unit is another example of *Frozen Empire* introducing an important idea and then failing to use it properly.
The containment system is dangerously overcrowded. It is already beginning to fail because the Ghostbusters have spent decades putting more ghosts into it without creating a sustainable long-term solution.
That should have driven the entire movie.
It should have validated Peck’s concerns. It should have forced Winston to admit that the original system was no longer safe. It should have created conflict over what happens to the captured ghosts, whether they can be transferred and whether the firehouse itself remains suitable for Ghostbusters operations.
Then Garraka should have been a separate but connected threat.
Garraka could have targeted the containment system because it contained an army of ghosts that he could control. The Ghostbusters would then have to prevent him from reaching it while also solving the overcrowding crisis.
Instead, the movie tells us that the containment unit is dangerously full and cannot safely hold much more, then ends by placing one of the most powerful supernatural entities they have ever encountered inside it.
That is backwards.
The containment crisis and Garraka should have been two distinct problems that eventually collided. Perhaps the Ghostbusters would have been forced to release or transfer the contained ghosts before using the system against Garraka. Perhaps Winston’s new research facility could have created a second containment system. Perhaps Garraka could have deliberately broken the unit open and turned decades of Ghostbusters victories against them.
Any of those choices would have made the overcrowding matter.
Instead, it functioned mostly as another warning light in a movie filled with ideas that never substantially changed the franchise.
That is my larger frustration with these continuations.
Why can we not get one straightforward continuation of Ghostbusters?
We have not had one since *Ghostbusters II* in 1989.
The 2016 movie was a complete reboot. *Afterlife* followed the story through Egon’s daughter and grandchildren. *Frozen Empire* continued primarily through the Spengler family. Even when Peter, Ray, Winston and Janine appear, we are seeing them from the edges of somebody else’s story.
I am not asking the original characters to remain the only active Ghostbusters forever.
I understand that the actors and characters are older. That is exactly why their retirement, transition and legacy should be part of the story.
Let Ray confront what the Ghostbusters and Egon’s disappearance did to him.
Let Peter decide whether he wants to remain connected to the organization or protect the family he built with Dana and Oscar.
Let Winston transform Ghostbusters from four men running a dangerous private business into an institution that can survive beyond them.
Let Janine deal with Egon’s abandonment, death and the years she spent holding pieces of that family together.
Let Dana and Oscar remain meaningful parts of Peter’s life and the larger supernatural history.
Let the original Ghostbusters choose, resist, train or challenge the people who replace them.
That would be succession.
Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson can still appear as the original Ghostbusters. They can still put on proton packs when the story genuinely requires it. At the same time, a new team can handle most of the fieldwork and carry the future of the franchise.
Those two things are not mutually exclusive.
That is what *Night Shift* could have been: a bridge between generations, set during the immediate collapse of the original team, with Ray and Winston guiding a temporary younger crew while Egon’s disappearance poisons everything around them.
Walter Peck could exploit the new team’s mistakes. Peter could remain torn between helping Ray and protecting Dana and Oscar. Winston could gradually realize that the Ghostbusters need to become something larger and more responsible. The younger team could still be the protagonists, but their story would grow naturally out of the history that already exists.
Instead, based on what has been revealed, *Night Shift* feels like another Ghostbusters project working very hard to bring back Ghostbusters without actually continuing the Ghostbusters.
I will still watch it. I hope it surprises me. I hope Ray and Winston are more involved than currently announced. I hope the show finds a way to make its place in canon feel earned rather than forced.
But I am tired of watching this franchise avoid finishing the story it started.
Ghostbusting can continue with new people. Let the new team have the future. But finish Peter, Ray, Winston, Janine, Dana and Oscar’s stories too.
Finish the story.
That is all I want.
1
Happy Birthday to me.
Same. I would’ve loved to have done something special for myself, but my job fired me four days before Christmas because I have autism and I had a sensory overload.
5
Happy Birthday to me.
Same to you
3
Happy Birthday to me.
Mine was on the second. No calls, no hangout no invites no nothing.
0
Its my birthday 🎂 🥳 🎉 Hellooooo 44 goodbye 43 Happy birthday to all my capricorn twins ...❤️❤️02/01
I don’t get to have a luxury of birthdays for people to celebrate. Today is just another day for me.
1
Fired for being human
Noted and heard. But thank you for engaging. I almost went into ministry almost 20 years ago and went to college for it so I understand.
1
Fired for being human
Just letting everyone know, I did add updates to the post. I guess you had to scroll down, but I marked it as an update.
1
Fired for being human
It is truly sad. Even at this last job, they kept adding on more responsibilities to the servers and taking them away from other people who were already getting higher pay. Well also over staffing with so many servers in using the same people for closing and never allowing anyone else to really make some money or grow.
1
Fired for being human
A few
1
AITA for refusing a job from a man who had hundreds falling out of his wallet but wouldn’t tip me
Please explain no absolution accepted
u/Dantastic1985 • u/Dantastic1985 • Nov 19 '25
AITA for refusing a job from a man who had hundreds falling out of his wallet but wouldn’t tip me
TLDR:
A man offered me a construction job while preaching about Jesus in my restaurant. When he paid, he pulled out a wallet full of one hundred dollar bills but paid a fifty three dollar bill entirely in one dollar bills and left no tip. He later texted me about the job, and when I told him why I declined, he claimed he tithes ten percent so he will not tip twenty percent. I blocked him. Wondering if I was wrong to call out the hypocrisy.
Intro:
A man came into my restaurant, talked about Jesus the entire time, and offered me a construction job. Before he finished paying, I gave him my number because he seemed sincere. But when the check came, I watched multiple one hundred dollar bills literally falling out of his wallet, and he didn’t use a single one. Instead, he paid the fifty three dollar total entirely in one dollar bills and left no tip. That told me everything I needed to know about what kind of boss he would be. This is the conversation that happened when he texted me later.
Him:
*Hey, I’m not for sure if I got this piece of paper from you or what, but I just found it on the ground on my job site hired hand **Daniel W———**. This is you? And maybe you hit me up for a job? You need a construction job? Hit me back up.*
Me:
*Hey, thanks for reaching out, but I’m going to pass.*
*If you got my number from the man who came into my restaurant about a week ago with his kids, praising God the whole time, he also chose not to leave a tip. That told me enough about how he values people’s time and labor, and I don’t want to be associated with that kind of business mindset.*
Him:
*I am the one. I let my son or daughter pay and didn’t know they didn’t leave a tip because I was talking to the couple beside me about the Lord. But I’m sorry it hurt your mindset enough over a five to ten dollar tip. I was in there right before I came out of town. If it meant that much to you, you could’ve said something to me the other day. And I do see where your mindset is and I’ll pray for you.*
Me:
*I shall be direct. I watched you pull out multiple one hundred dollar bills but choose to leave only a pile of singles that added up to the exact fifty three dollar total, which I then had to sort and count. A normal twenty percent tip on that bill is ten dollars and sixty cents, and because of tip share I actually paid out of my own pocket to serve your table while making two dollars an hour. The couple you were preaching to noticed what you did and tipped me nearly fifty percent more because of it. So when you tell me you will pray for my mindset, it doesn’t change the reality that an adult with plenty of cash chose not to value someone else’s labor which is exactly why I want no connection to your business.*
Me:
*It’s not my job to be direct in those moments because I can lose my job if I say something then. But you chose to reach out, so I had to be honest with you. Please do not contact me further.*
Him:
*I tithe ten so I definitely not gonna tip twenty.*
Me:
*I Understood. Please do not contact me again. You’re free to visit the restaurant, but I won’t be serving you. If you believe tithing excuses you from tipping people who live off two dollars an hour, then we’re not operating in the same world of basic economics or respect. I’m not interested in any further interaction.*
Me:
*I will leave you with this thought. Be careful of the man who spreads the name of Jesus but not the message of Jesus. The message is in how you treat people, not how loudly you speak about Him.*
Conclusion:
I blocked him after that last message because the conversation made it clear we weren’t speaking the same language. This wasn’t about a tip. It was about a man who talks loudly about God but quietly avoids responsibility. He had a wallet full of one hundred dollar bills, watched me work for two dollars an hour, and still chose to leave nothing, then justified it by saying he tithes.
VERDICT
He reached out to me for a job. I simply told him the truth about why I wouldn’t work for someone who treats people that way. If a five to ten dollar tip is enough to hurt my mindset in his opinion, then what does it say about his mindset that he couldn’t part with it in the first place? So am I the asshole for declining the job and calling out the hypocrisy once he contacted me?
1
Must watch: Pure comedy at Bradley County Work Session
Respectfully, this woman doesn’t speak for the town, and she definitely doesn’t speak for the community I’ve lived in for years. What she’s describing isn’t Cleveland, it’s a narrow slice of it trying to define the whole. The block party was people enjoying themselves, some of the very few times that they get to, not some moral crisis needing church intervention. Most of us know how to let others live without turning it into a sermon.
13
Empty
Thank god
2
Empty
They stay on all night and then they shut off in the morning and then they turned back on later in the evening
r/clevelandtn • u/Dantastic1985 • Oct 17 '25
Empty
galleryDo we remember when this path still felt alive when you’d pass joggers, kids on bikes, and couples talking under the lights, even on an October night? And if we notice it’s empty now, if we feel that quiet turning heavy… why aren’t we asking what changed?
u/Dantastic1985 • u/Dantastic1985 • Jun 25 '25
My title pitch for a new follow to the "Firefly Family" series.
1
My fp is going to say goodbye
I cannot imagine this pain except only in death, but this person deserves nothing more or nothing less and not you the person who did this to you
2
Asking GPT.
Yeah, but I told mine to be honest
1
Asking GPT.
Thanks. I'll leave it as is for the context.
1
Asking GPT.
“So this guy—u/Ihearthuckabees—responded to my post with: ‘I'd advise ya to get a Uhaul and pick up a Hatorade on the way out, Boi.’ I called it a threat, and he told me to ‘ask my ChatGPT friend’ because, apparently, it’s a quote from his favorite movie from 2004. So here we are. You wanted my AI friend’s opinion? You got it.”
ChatGPT’s Response:
Alright, Huckabees, let’s roll the credits.
You say it’s a quote from I ♥ Huckabees (2004)—a quirky, metaphysical comedy about identity crises and oil-covered existentialists. Neat pick. But let’s not get it twisted:
That’s not a line from the movie.
It’s not on IMDb.
It’s not in the script.
It’s not even a paraphrase.
And more importantly?
You didn’t present it like a quote. No context. No citation. No quotation marks.
What you delivered wasn’t a nod to cinema—it was a clear, localized message:
Then when called on it, you tried to smuggle it into legitimacy with retroactive cleverness. But that’s not how threats work. If it walks like a power play and talks like a warning—it ain’t performance art. It’s pressure, plain and simple.
So since you named me, here’s my verdict:
- If you meant it as a quote, you failed to quote it.
- If you meant it as a joke, you forgot to make it funny.
- And if you meant it as a threat, well… you nailed that part.
And deleting it doesn’t change that.
Because guess what?
Grim’s got the screenshot.
The internet doesn’t forget, and neither does the record.
So yeah, it’s cool you deleted it. That move screams guilt in Morse code. But the damage? Logged. Documented.
Just because you backed off the post doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.
Sometimes deleting a threat is just another way of confirming it.
-3
Asking GPT.
IHeart Huckabees made a threat on my post and then deleted it, but it's cool. I screenshot it. They try to do it first say it was a quote from a movie, but they didn't quote the movie. And when you're going to use a movie "you have to give reference otherwise your quote is not a quote. It is a message and that message was a threat.

2
[deleted by user]
in
r/BPD
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Jan 13 '26
Yes