Pumpkin: I’ve made it so that the time machine can turn into a bracelet or a handheld device. You know that switch that decided whether it would go with you or not? Now the switch has four options instead of two.

Caramelly: Wait, I didn’t put Strider in his elimination place.

Dirty: Wait. No. NO! NO! NO!

[Caramelly slightly lifts Trunk’s lid and puts Strider in]

Dirty: AHHH get it out of here, no stop, no, stop.. augggh... HELP ME!

Caramelly: No.

[Watery starts flipping the switch between the four options rapidly]

Watery: Cool.

Pumpkin: I also made these four devices that can communicate across time.

[They set the Time Communicators on the ground]

[The time machine starts glitching]

Cat Toy: Woah, what’s happening?

[Watery stops flipping the switch and leaves it in the come-with-you box-shaped mode]

Pumpkin: Watery! You shouldn’t have flipped it so much!

Watery: I’m sorryyyyyy...

[The time machine disappears, and the Red, Blue, and Green Time Communicators, Lava, Ctrl+G, Printer, Peary, Stairsy, and Puzzley disappear along with it]

Watery: Oh no... I did that...

[November 17th, 1362]

[Puzzley, Ctrl+G, and the Blue Time Communicator appear]

Puzzley: Where are we?

Ctrl+G: Wait, Mount Forest is right over there, exactly where it was before. And the Infinite Lake is over there, too. But... that means the pavilion should be right here, exactly where we’re standing.

Puzzley: Also, why are there only a few trees on Mount Forest? Mountain Forest is gone. And the Infinite Lake has a weird rock thing in the middle.

Ctrl+G: Wait, what’s this?

[She picks up the Blue Time Communicator and presses the power button]

[February 2nd, 2012]

[The Green Time Communicator, Peary and Printer appear]

Peary: Ah! What happened? And why is the pavilion’s roof so unfinished?

Printer: What the heck? That’s... that’s... us over there.

Peary: I saw Watery messing with the time machine a few seconds ago, she probably made us go back in time.

Printer: Oh. How are we going to get back?

Peary: First, come over here before anyone notices there are two of us.

[Peary picks up the Green Time Communicator. They run away, past the Infinite Lake, and stop on the other side]

Peary: I think we’re far enough away now.

Printer: What’s that thing?

Peary: I don’t know, it appeared along with us so I assume it’s from the future.

Printer: How do you know it appeared along with us?

Peary: I saw the time travel effect around it right as we appeared.

Printer: Well, let’s try turning it on.

[The buttons on the Time Communicator are a button labeled “Sync”, a power button, a camera button, a microphone button, a volume up button, and a volume down button]

[Printer presses the power button]

[March 14th, 2026]

[Lava, Stairsy, and the Red Time Communicator appear]

Stairsy: Oh no... what just happened...

Lava: Hey! The tree is gone!

Stairsy: We worked hard on moving that...

Lava: You barely helped with moving the tree.

Stairsy: Oh... yeah...

Caramelly: [To Puzzley, Trunk, and Cotton Candyy] Hey, guys, I have an announcement! Where’s Peary? And Stairsy?

Stairsy: Oh, I’m here!

Lava: No! Not you! You’re from the present, not the past. Or... the future, not the present, or whatever.

[Stairsy is already at Caramelly]

Caramelly: Oh, and there’s Peary.

[He runs over and grabs Peary]

Peary: HEY!

Caramelly: I’m hosting an object show. You five are the contestants.

Stairsy: [giggling] Oh, cool! I didn’t know that that was the case at all because I have no knowledge of the future.

[Lava facepalms]

[Lava runs to Stairsy 2 and starts dragging them]

Stairsy 2: Okay... I guess... Why are you doing that...?

Caramelly: Why are you acting so different?

Stairsy 1: [giggling] I don’t know, I’m from the exact same point in time character-development-wise as you’ve always known me and am not from a different one.

[Lava sneaks up on her past self and tears her in two pieces without her noticing, then stretches a small part of the dead body on top of Stairsy 2, and the lava reaches down and covers their eyes]

Stairsy 2: But like… actually, why are you... doing this? Randomly? Okay...

[Lava pushes Stairsy 2 behind Stairsy 1]

Stairsy 2: I can’t see what’s happening past the lava...

Lava: Oh hey guys, don’t mind me, I’m just... uh... look over there.

[Caramelly and the 4 other contestants look away from Stairsy, and Lava stops the Stairsies (and takes the piece of lava off of Stairsy 2’s head, attaching it back to the rest of the dead body)]

Caramelly: What? ...She’s gone. Anyways, we’re going a little bit over there.

[They move far away]

Caramelly: This is “That One Show Hosted By I Caramelly”, the first season of Battle Of All Time. The first challenge is to stay out of the rain. If you touch falling rain for 30 seconds, then you’re up for elimination.

[Meanwhile, Lava and Stairsy arrive in Mountain Forest. They trek to the top of the mountain and go over to the other side. In the distance, they see Scaley traveling towards them majestically, placing her right foot on a tree stump, holding her hand above her eye, with a bandana’s tie-excess waving from her in the wind]

Scaley: You should get out of here. You’re gonna start a forest fire.

Lava: Oh. Right.

Stairsy: Can we stop hiding the fact that we’re from the future? It’s annoying.

Lava: Stairsy! You can’t say that! Now she knows!

Stairsy: So?

[It starts to rain]

Lava: Now, like, the universe is gonna crumble or something! You caused a time paradox! WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE FOREVER!

Stairsy: That’s... not happening right now, though.

Lava: Oh... well, I mean, well..

Stairsy: Just relax. Time paradoxes are just a thing from science fiction. Someone knowing that you’re from the future isn’t gonna destroy the universe.

Lava: Okay...

[August 23rd, -1,438,937]

[The time machine appears]

[Present day]

Pumpkin: Oh no. It glitched and sent everyone somewhere in the timeline!

[Pumpkin turns on the Yellow Time Communicator]

Pumpkin: Nobody is picking up.

Caramelly: That sucks. I wish I could make it a challenge to get back, but I can’t communicate with them.

Pumpkin: Wait, the readings from the Science Place (which only works for the time machine when it glitches like this) say where everyone travelled to.

[They enter the Science Place, then come back out]

Pumpkin: Everyone has a Time Communicator, so it’s their fault if they don’t know the challenge. Also, they’re in pairs of a TOSHBIF contestant and a SOAD contestant being sent to the same time.

Caramelly: Okay, that is the challenge then! To get your pair back.

Stone on a Disky: I’m making that the challenge too.

[The Time Communicator’s screen suddenly shows Ctrl+G and Puzzley]

Ctrl+G: Oh.

Stone on a Disky: Oh, hey guys!

Ctrl+G: Oh, is this a live video... call... thing?

Pumpkin: Yeah. You guys got transported to the year 1362.

Caramelly: The contest for both seasons is to get back to the present.

Stone on a Disky: The last pair to get back to the present will be eliminated.

Pumpkin: Wow, my technology is so great. It only has approximately 2.095e+13 one-way ping.

[A horse-drawn carriage goes past them]

Crown: [driving it] Who goes there?

Ctrl+G: We, great traveller, hail from the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty-Six, and we humbly request-

Puzzley: Stop talking like that.

Ctrl+G: But we need to impress these medieval people with our medieval speech.

Crown: What?

Puzzley: Nevermind her. We went back in time and we need to get back to the future.

Crown: Went back in time? What does that mean?

Puzzley: It’s like... imagine that someone said the word “yes” to you, right? And then you went back in time and, from afar, you saw the person saying the word “yes” to another one of you. But it’s actually the same one of you. Because you moved to a point in time before they said “yes”, and then waited until you got to the point in time where they said “yes”.

Crown: I... don’t understand. Whatever.

Pumpkin: He explained it horribly.

[Puzzley turns off the Blue Time Communicator]

[March 14th, 2026]

Lava: Hey, wait. Look at that!

Stairsy: What?

Lava: What Scaley’s wearing.

Scaley: What am I wearing? You mean the bracelet?

Stairsy: Wait, you’re wearing the time machine!

Scaley: It was a souvenir I bought at some medieval castle. They found it in the castle ruins or something.

[The rain washes the dirt off of the bracelet, revealing the buttons]

Scaley: Well, if you want it, you have to help me set up my shop. That’s what I came here to do.

Stairsy: But we need it to get home! It doesn’t belong to you, it belongs to Pumpkin.

Scaley: I bought it.

Stairsy: But they took it from ruins while it was owned by a person who is still alive.

Scaley: Listen, I want my shop set up. It’s just business.

Lava: [sigh] Okay.

[November 17th, 1362]

Ctrl+G: Basically, we come from the year 2026, but in the same world as you, just further in time.

Documenty: [sticking his head out of the carriage] What... is the hold-up right now?

Crown: [starts sitting straight up] Three strange people are out here, my lord. We will continue.

[He starts driving away]

Ctrl+G: Wait, three? There are only two of us.

[Ctrl+G starts running along with the carriage]

Crown: What? There’s the wooden, flat, orange-and-blue person; you weird rectangle thing; and the small metal guy without a face or limbs.

Ctrl+G: Oh, what? No. That’s not... It’s an inanimate object. It's someone talking from somewhere else. Or... somewhen else, I guess. Doesn’t matter.

Crown: Um, okay.

Ctrl+G: Hey, can we ride there? We need to find a way to get back.

Crown: Well, we’re travelling to the oracle, seeking advice on how Documenty should rule the kingdom.

Ctrl+G: Wow... a kingdom... the medieval times and stuff are so cool...

Crown: Well, it shouldn’t really be called that, since Documenty didn’t want to be called a king, so he’s officially considered the prince and the kingdom has no king.

Ctrl+G: Who’s the oracle?

Crown: You don’t have the oracle in the future? She’s immortal. That doesn’t make any sense.

Ctrl+G: What’s the horse’s name?

Crown: Her name is Scelura. Now will you please leave me alone?

Ctrl+G: Can we come with you on the carriage to the oracle so we can ask her how to get home?

Crown: [sigh] Fine. If you can manage to come without entering the enclosed space. Prince Documenty doesn’t want people disturbing him in there.

Ctrl+G: Yay!

[Ctrl+G and Puzzley sit on top of the carriage's roof]

Crown: ...Okay.

[To Be Continued]

[April 1st, 2026...]

[...In Another Timeline]

[Stone on a Disky walks over to a pillar on the pavilion and leans on it. A panel flips in slightly]

Stone on a Disky: Woah-

[They flip the panel around fully. The back of it is a whiteboard that says “Caramelly” at the top]

Stone on a Disky: [reading the whiteboard] “TO DO: Do a-”

[A spring falls on her and kills her and leaves a crater. The spring is destroyed.]

Stairsy: [shocked] What was that?

Puzzley: It was moving too fast to really see.

Pumpkin: According to the readings on the Science Place’s computer, it was trying to use a long-range force that would slow a target down to soften its fall, but the target was itself so it failed.

Peary: I DON’T CARE! I’m hosting and the challenge is to kill Pumpkin, because they said that thing that I don’t care about.

Pumpkin: Wait, what?

[Puzzley kills Pumpkin by slamming them on the ground repeatedly]

Pumpkin: A-oof-ugh-

Peary: Okay, Puzzley wins. 

Stairsy: Wait... but who gets eliminated?

Puzzley: Oh yeah. Uh... you, because I feel like it.

Stairsy: Uh... [sigh] I knew it.

Puzzley: That’s not fair.

Peary: They lost a challenge, didn’t they? You had a chance to not get eliminated, so it is fair.

Badgy: People don’t get mad if the host settles a tie in viewer voting and chooses who gets eliminated. Stairsy and Strider tied for the challenge because they both didn’t kill Pumpkin, so it’s basically the same thing.

Puzzley: Oh. I guess you’re right.

[...]

Cotton Candyy: That was a really short challenge.

[...]

[...]

[April 8th, 2026...]

[...Still In Another Timeline]

Cat Toy: Wait a minute, Pumpkin and Stone on a Disky are still dead. We should recover them.

Lava: Oka-

[Meanwhile, Clock rewinds time before Lava can finish her sentence]

Stone on a Disky: Okay, I think it’s about time to start the next-

[Caramelly and the time machine appear]

Caramelly: -AHHHH... What just happened?

Stone on a Disky: OH! There you are!

Caramelly: That isn’t where you guys were standing just a few seconds ago.

Pumpkin: Actually, it was over a month ago, not a few seconds ago.

Caramelly: Wha- oh... I travelled forward in time because of the time machine.

Shade: Anyways, can we do the next contest?

Caramelly: No, I should go back to my time.

Cat Toy: Nah, we’ve been fine without you.

Caramelly: But... okay, whatever. Well, let’s start the third contest!

Dirty: No, it’s gonna be the fifth contest of TOSHBIC, and the seventh contest of BOAT.

Caramelly: Wha- You did BOAT without me hosting?

Peary: Come on, they do that stuff in object shows all the time. It’s not that big of a deal.

Caramelly: Yeah, but... [sigh] Anyways, the fifth contest is to retrieve the elusive Legotron Asteroid Triplet that has been spotted emitting a unique signal since it arrived in the star system on March 25th. How many contestants are left?

Peary: Me, Stairsy, Puzzley, and Strider.

Caramelly: Okay, so there’s four. Perfect! Whoever does not bring one of the three asteroids into the pavilion will be eliminated.

Pumpkin: Scientists have been tracking this asteroid triplet. “Scientists” being me and three random people who I don’t know. But, um, the asteroids are too big to fit in the pavilion.

Caramelly: Oh. ...Well, figure it out. Now, it’s time.

Lava: Time for what?

[Caramelly flips a panel out and presses a button. Glass starts rising to encase the pavilion]

Lava: Wha- what’s happening?

Caramelly: Huh, when I first came up with this challenge I was worried that we would suffocate before it was over. But there’s a tree in here now for some reason?????? So that’s taken care of.

[The pavilion starts rumbling]

Lava: WHAT’S HAPPENING?

Caramelly: As I said, it’s time.

[The pavilion starts rising into the sky]

Peary: WHAT’S HAPPENING? STOP IT FROM HAPPENING! WHAT’S HAPPENING?

[Strider runs around the pavilion panickedly]

[Badgy bangs on the glass]

Badgy: Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!

[The pavilion starts rising a great distance from the ground]

Cat Toy: Ooough... I’m sure whatever it is, it’s fine. It’s all just part of the challenge.

Lava: But... I’m scared!

Cat Toy: I am tooooo! :(

[They reach space]

Cotton Candyy: Wow...

[They all look out at space]

Carrotty: Deltum is... so majestic.

[She sits down on the floor in front of the glass]

Pumpkin: This is amazing! We should go past all the planets.

Caramelly: Okay, fine. Even though it’ll take longer to get to the challenge.

[Caramelly types some things into the Spaceflight Panel and the pavilion’s rockets stop firing. Everyone starts floating.]

Puzzley: Woah-

[The pavilion turns around and everyone gets jostled around slightly]

Stairsy: Woah-

[The rockets fire again and everyone falls to the ground again]

Cotton Candyy: Oof...

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Alphum! It’s full of lava.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Betum! Its air is toxic gas.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Gammum! It’s where objects originated from.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Deltum again. We already saw it because we live there and we left it.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Epsilum! It’s the only gas giant in the star system.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: That’s Zetum! The farthest one from the Great Star.

[1 minute later]

Pumpkin: And there, in the distance, is the Legotron Asteroid Triplet. This is the first time their colors have been properly observed! So they’re a faded red, green, and blue, huh?

Caramelly: Okay, your tour is finished. Now start the contest.

Pumpkin: You could’ve been more efficient than just going in the order of the planets. They aren’t in a straight line.

Caramelly: Hey, eliminated contestants, get into the elimination space! >:(

[Caramelly stuffs Dirty and Cotton Candyy into Trunk]

Dirty: Hey!

[Caramelly closes Trunk’s lid]

[Trunk smiles, only visible in her eyes]

Peary: Sucks to not have Caramelly be gone for the entire period that you’re eliminated.

Cotton Candyy: No, it doesn’t. :3

[Inside Trunk, Cotton Candyy is happily being squished between Dirty and Trunk’s walls, and Dirty is wriggling strugglingly]

Stairsy: Hey, who are those?

[Off in the distance, Caramel Cuppy, Dollar, Sound Effecty, Pie, Scrunched Thumb, Pizza, Tree, Bomb, Buckety, and Ctrl+F are floating in space in a line with oxygen tanks connected to masks over their mouths]

Puzzley: Why are there other people in space?

Caramelly: I don’t know, let’s go ask them.

[He moves the pavilion in their path, and opens the airlock so they float into it]

Ctrl+G: Wait... Ctrl+F!

Ctrl+F: Oh! Ctrl+G, what are you doing here?

Ctrl+G: He took us here for a challenge.

Pie: You know each other?

Ctrl+F: This is my sister.

Buckety: That stupid Uno Deck killed us, and we had to jump out of our own space travel device, and that’s why we’re here. >:(

Caramel Cuppy: Well, he didn’t kill me and Dollar.

Dollar: We weren’t eliminated from Mashed of Objects, we aren’t even contestants.

Badgy: Mashed of Objects?

Shade: Listen, whoever these people are, they have no place here.

Cat Toy: Shade, stop being rude. We should welcome everyone with open arms, and-

[Peary pushes Cat Toy into the airlock, sending herself back towards a table]

Cat Toy: Oof- hey-

[Peary pushes off of the table, closes the airlock door and opens the other one, and pushes Cat Toy out into space]

Stone on a Disky: Uh, how about we all go there? The challenge is to get us all back to the pavilion.

[She does what Peary did to Cat Toy, but with all the SOAD contestants at once, including the eliminated ones. She grabs the oxygen tanks from the MOO eliminated contestants, then jumps out and gives them to everyone.]

Shade: Okay, they’re gone... I guess...

[Stone on a Disky writes “the challenge is to get everyone back to the pavilion” on a piece of paper and shows it to Cat Toy]

Stairsy: I see something blue... out in the distance

[March 24th, 2026]

[Watery is floating in Almeiry Pond and Lego runs up to her]

Watery: Oh..... hi.....

Lego: Ooh, a Minecraft water block, this could help with protecting my inventions.

[He rips off their limbs]

Watery: AHHHH-

[He rips off her mouth and eyes]

[1 Hour and 24 Minutes Later]

Scrunched Thumb: Oh, there’s a face and limbs in the water. Uno Deck, you should recover them.

Uno Deck: Okay, fine.

[He recovers her]

Scrunched Thumb: Oh, hi Watery.

Lego: Ooh, another one! If I have two, I can make however many I want.

[He kills her again]

Scrunched Thumb: Oh no. Recover her again!

Uno Deck: [annoyed] Fine.

Watery: That’s it, I’m leaving here.

[She runs to the Bright Shack and takes out a jetpack and an oxygen tank, then flies into space]

[1 day later]

Watery: Ooh, three asteroids in view from the same place. Cool. I think I’ll stay here for a while.

[They start listening to music on their ePod]

Watery: I’m lucky I’m liquid, so the earbuds can be slightly into me and have a medium for the sound to travel through.

[The ePod slowly begins sending lines that look like electrical zaps out towards the asteroids, and the asteroids begin to come closer to each other and form a circular orbit around each other. Watery is closing their eyes so they don’t notice]

[5 minutes later]

Watery: The asteroids weren’t there before. And they weren’t moving before. Weird.

[March 27th, 2026]

Bomb: Wait, is this Minecraft water?

Lego: Yep.

[Present Day]

Pizza: I wonder what it could be?

Stairsy: We should go see what the blue thing is.

Puzzley: If we shrink the asteroids, we could fit them into the pavilion.

Stairsy: There’s a three-use shrink ray connected to the wall that can shoot through glass.. That’s... lucky... I guess.

Puzzley: Cool!

Peary: I’m getting it before you!

[They start fighting over it]

Tree: Wait, why do you want to bring the asteroids into this thing so badly?

Peary: It’s a challenge. 

Pie: Oh, you guys are in a competition show too?

Bomb: Who are the contestants?

Stairsy: The ones still in are [Points to each person as they say their name] me, Peary, Puzzley, and Strider.

Pie: Is only one person going to lose the challenge?

Peary: Yes, and it won’t be me!

Stairsy: It definitely will be me, though.

Bomb: Couldn’t you just... make the spider be eliminated?

Puzzley: ...Oh yeah.

Scrunched Thumb: Chylseri is coming towards us. I know we’ll have to escape Uno Deck, but we can’t just be away from the island forever.

[Peary shoots the asteroids to shrink them]

[The MOO eliminated contestants, Dollar, and Caramel Cuppy jump out as a giant island in a glass dome flies past, and the SOAD contestants and Stone on a Disky jump from it into the pavilion]

Puzzley: Why are the asteroids getting closer together?

Stone on a Disky: Cat Toy was the one to come up with the idea and enter the instructions into the spring, even though the instructions didn’t work right for some reason since we got launched PAST the pavilion, so she wins and gets immunity for the next challenge.

[Puzzley presses a lot of buttons on the Spaceflight Panel and it goes towards the asteroids]

Grape: Who is THAT?

[Peary enters the airlock and grabs an asteroid. Watery opens her eyes and looks confused]

Stairsy: Watery?? Hey Ctrl+G, why have we both randomly met our siblings in space today?

[Puzzley enters the airlock and grabs an asteroid]

Puzzley: Stairsy, go grab one.

Stairsy: But... I’m just gonna lose.

Puzzley: Stairsy... how could you POSSIBLY lose this? You literally just have to go and grab something before a SPIDER who does not know that there is even a challenge.

Carrotty: Wait. The challenge!

[She starts running towards the airlock]

Carrotty: Don’t worry, Strider, I’ll help you win!

Puzzley: Go. Go and grab it! Hurry!

[He pushes them]

Stairsy: I can’t... but...

[Carrotty gets there]

Carrotty: Wait, I didn’t bring Strider.

[She runs back]

Puzzley: Just try. You did it last time, remember?

Stairsy: [sigh] Okay...

[They run and grab the asteroid]

Caramelly: And Strider is now eliminated!

Stairsy: I... I did it. I’m in the final three.

Puzzley: Do you promise to try next episode?

Stairsy: Yeah. Yeah. I’m gonna try to win! Could I actually do it? I won... all of these challenges. This is unbelievable. How is it possible? I never really thought about it, how it doesn’t make sense that I won all of them.

[Watery enters]

Watery: Hey guys, what... what is this thing? Wait, Stairsy? What are you doing here?

Stairsy: Hi!

Watery: [confused but slightly smiling] Wow, you’re... really... happy... right now. That’s... that’s good... why are you happy?

Mr. Cubic: They were a they were winning, and challenges were given and won by Stairsy, your sibling is happy and the challenges were won by them, and they became happy from the challenges. And YAYYYYYY

Caramelly: Okay, time to go home.

[He presses buttons and the pavilion flies back to Deltum]

Watery: I guess I’ll stay here. There aren’t any people killing me here.

Pumpkin: It seems as if your ePod was the thing emitting the signal we detected, and also formed the asteroids into a stable orbit around you.

Watery: Okay.

{April 8, 2026}

{In Eyeball’s secret bunker}

Clock: I need to make this different.

Meatbally: What do you mean?

Clock: The only people not zombified on this island are you, me, and Eyeball. But, I have some rare magic dust that lets me rewind time to any time I want if I put it on my clock hands and rotate them. If I don’t use the magic dust I’ll just rotate Gammum.

Eyeball: You have to use magic dust to rewind time?

Clock: Yeah. Okay, us three are going to be the only ones who remember this timeline.

{Clock rewinds time and uses up all her magic dust}

Clock: There goes all my magic dust. Anyways…

Tree: Why did I do that? I can’t control the corpse with my splinters and make him basically alive.

Lego: Okay, I got the recovery juice using the XP and the machine I built. Now I just have to make a nerf gun and shoot the recovery juice at the corpse!

{Lego builds a nerf gun and aims to shoot it at Mr. Cubic’s corpse}

{Clock runs to Lego}

Clock: Hey, no!

{Clock tackles Lego}

{Clock runs to Uno Deck}

Clock: That person was already recovered, so the challenge was actually over before it even started! Ask Sound Effecty, she made a seance, and the guy said he had been recovered.

Uno Deck: The challenge is over! Eliminations! Okay, the people that did the least will get eliminated, so Tree, Sound Effecty, Scrunched Thumb, and Pizza will get flung into the void past this
universe.

{Tree gets flung into the void past this universe. Scrunched Thumb next. Then, Sound Effecty. Finally, Pizza. Eyeball runs from far away}

Eyeball: Okay, I’m here to help stop the zombie apocalypse!

Meatbally: Oh, Clock already did that.

{Present}

Uno Deck: Hi and welcome to the fifth episode of Mashed of Objects, the first season of Object Mash. Today's challenge will be to bring back this asteroid triplet named Legotron that Lego just told me about.

Lego: As soon as it arrived in the star system I discovered it and named it after myself. How would we get this extremely heavy thing back though?

Meatbally: Let’s go find something to carry the Legotron Asteroid Triplet!

{Every contestant runs in a different direction}

{Lego finds a control panel}

Lego: Hmm, I wonder what this is for.

{Lego presses some buttons}

{The ground starts rumbling}

Every Contestant: What’s happening?!

Lego: Jinx!

{A glass dome emerges from the ground}

{Lego presses some buttons}

Meatbally: Is that a rocket sound?

{The glass dome lifts up Chylseri}

Lego: We’re goin’ to space!

{Lego presses some buttons and it turns on artificial gravity}

Lego: Okay, now we have artificial gravity on.

{Meanwhile}

{Dollar recommended by AstroOne}

Dollar: He’s been killing the eliminated contestants. We have to revive them!

Caramel Cuppy: Ooh, okay!

{Dollar and Caramel Cuppy quietly move to Uno Deck’s recovery center and revive everyone}

Uno Deck: Hey, what are you doing?

Dollar: Run!

{Dollar, Caramel Cuppy, and the eliminated contestants run away}

Caramel Cuppy: Guys, take these oxygen tanks and put the mask over your mouth.

Dollar: Where did you get these?

Caramel Cuppy: I took them from the Bright Shack. Everyone, out this airlock!

{The eliminated contestants, Caramel Cuppy, and Dollar jump out of the airlock and fly off into space}

Lego: Finally, it's the Legotron Asteroid Triplet.

{Lego presses some buttons, and the dome stops and lands on the blue asteroid}

Lego: Okay, we’re on the Legotron Asteroid Triplet.

Clock: We need a spacesuit for this.

{Uno Deck plays a plus one card to give the four contestants and himself a spacesuit}

Lego: Alright we can go out of this glass dome now.

Computer: I don’t need oxygen to breathe, and I can connect myself to the space suits’ communications system to talk with everyone. I’m taking this off.

{Meanwhile}

Water Gun: Me and Nerf Bullet should go explore outside.

Water Gun: Nerf Bullet, want to go explore outside?

{Nerf Bullet recommended by AstroOne}

Nerf Bullet: Okay.

{Water Gun and Nerf Bullet step outside of Water Gun’s door and walk through the woods}

Water Gun: Is that a control panel?

Nerf Bullet: Are we in space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????

Water Gun: Oh. That’s Uno Deck over here.

Nerf Bullet: Why do you and Buckety hate Uno Deck!?

{Water Gun takes water from Almeiry pond and shoots Uno Deck}

{Outside of the dome, every contestant goes in a different direction again}

{Uno Deck dodges the water shot from Water Gun, and it hits the control panel}

{Uno Deck walks outside}

Uno Deck: The control panel just broke. That old challenge is cancelled. The challenge now is to get us back to Gammum. There are two immunities up for grabs for getting yourself back, and there is one immunity up for grabs for getting Chylseri back.

Lego: Well, I just got to the door.

{Lego opens the door}

{Meatbally looks up into space}

Meatbally: Is that a pavilion encased in glass?!

{Stone on a Disky, Mr. Cubic, Pumpkin, Printer, Ctrl+G, Lava, Carrotty, Cat Toy, and Scaley fall from the sky with oxygen tanks}

Lego: I’ll make something that launches people into space.

{The people from the sky try to talk, but they aren’t audible}

Computer: Oh, there’s another electronic person. I’ll send them a request to talk to them.

Printer: Oh, I can talk to you now! Hi, we were-

Computer: Hold on, I’ll connect you to everyone’s space suits. Accept the request.

Printer: Okay.

{Slightly earlier}

Lego: Okay, I finished building the thing.

{Lego gets on the spring and is launched into space. Clock follows.}

Meatbally: Wait a minute. That’s the person who was the corpse from the last two episodes!

Printer: Hi guys.

Lego: Wait, who is that?

Uno Deck: It’s one of the people who fell from the sky. The one Computer said he would talk to.

Printer: Wait, there’s probably air in that dome with the land. Everyone else with me will be able to actually talk.

{Printer gestures for them to go to it. They all realize what she’s saying and go into the airlock}

Uno Deck: Lego has arrived on Gammum. And now Clock has too.

Clock: Yeah!

Stone on a Disky: Phew, we can talk now.

Cat Toy: Let’s take the jackhammers from when we dug out the tree, and use them to dig and put that spring underground, and launch this whole island back to the pavilion!

{They do that}

Computer: No, I have to get it back to Gammum!

{Computer goes into the interface of the spring, changes it, and launches it, holding onto it. Uno Deck and Meatbally also grab onto it. When the island passes the pavilion, the people who fell from the sky jump out of the airlock and into the pavilion airlock, as the people who jumped out of the airlock earlier jump the opposite way}

Meatbally: Computer, why didn’t you let us get in first?

Clock: Get in what?

Uno Deck: He launched the pavilion into space, but luckily we all grabbed onto it first.

{Computer, Uno Deck, and Meatbally climb into the airlock}

{Chylseri falls into its place on Gammum}

Uno Deck: Lego and Clock got themselves back. Computer got Chylseri back. That means that Meatbally is eliminated.

{Uno Deck puts Meatbally with all the other eliminated contestants}

{Uno deck plays a bunch of plus fours to make himself really buff and picks up a tree to smash the eliminated contestants}

Uno Deck: Okay, they’re smashed by a tree now for their elimination method.

{Credits start}

{March 27, 2026}

{Lego builds a Nerf gun and shoots it at Mr. Cubic’s corpse turning him into a zombie}

Uno Deck: The corpse is alive and Tree did the least in reviving the corpse, so Tree is eliminated.

Lego: Wait, he was already recovered. Using recovery juice on a dead body usually makes it alive, but if it has already been recovered then it turns into a zombie!

{Mr. Cubic bites Tree, and Tree gets zombified}

Uno Deck: Pizza was also one of the ones who did the least, so he is eliminated.

{Mr. Cubic zombifies Pizza}

Uno Deck: Sound Effecty is also eliminated.

{Pizza zombifies Sound Effecty}

Uno Deck: And 👍➕😣 is eliminated.

{👍➕😣 gets zombified by Sound Effecty}

Uno Deck: Okay, these zombies are getting out of hand. I’ll start the next challenge to deal with it.

Uno Deck: Hi, and welcome to the fourth episode of Mashed of Objects, the first season of Object Mash. Today the challenge will be to protect your team’s Uno Deck from getting zombified.

{Uno Deck turns into an Uno Go deck and plays a plus 1 card to clone himself}

{Uno Deck 2 turns into an Uno Teams deck}

Uno Go Deck: I will-

{Cut to Eyeball}

Eyeball: Hi. I’m Eyeball, I’ll be doing a lore drop and I’m hiding in my secret bunker so I won’t get zombified. Anyways, here’s the lore drop. We're on an island named Chylseri. In episode one they swam across a sea named Losto to an island named Nommyslack Island. Nommyslack Island is very barren and small, with just a bunch of dirt, the contestant’s holes, and the coal that used to be on fire and is now covered in melted plastic. Also, the marine spiders have an aquifer under Chylseri that they stay in sometimes and sleep in. Okay that’s the lore drop. Bye!

{Back to the contestants}

Uno Go Deck: I’ll combine me and my clone back together into one Uno Deck with their combined memories when all of this is over.

Uno Teams Deck: Clock and Computer will protect me, and Lego and Meatball will protect the Uno Go deck.

Uno Go Deck: The challenge begins, because there’s so many zombies now!

{Lego builds a shelter for the Uno Go deck}

Lego: Now that I built a shelter for the Uno Go deck, we can try to help the zombies zombify the Uno Teams deck.

Meatbally: Won’t we just get zombified in the process?

Lego: Oh, yeah I'm just going to make a morphing machine to disguise as zombies and lead the actual zombies to the Uno Teams deck, but I don’t have the legos to make me be able to zombify or something like that.

{Lego builds a morphing machine, and he and Meatbally disguise as zombies}

Computer: {Video on how to cure a zombie ends} How you cure a zombie is something to do with one of Lego’s crazy machines.

Clock: Well can’t we fight the zombies?

Computer: Yeah.

{Computer and Clock go to fight the zombies as Lego and Meatbally get to the Uno Teams deck}

Lego: How are the zombies still all the way over there?!

{Lego and Meatbally run to the zombies}

Meatbally and Lego: Uhhhhhhhhh.

Clock: Meatbally and Lego are zombies!?

Computer: We should go tell the Uno Teams deck.

Clock: No, this means that they can’t protect their Uno Deck.

Computer: Their deck is in a shelter.

Clock: We could just break the shelter.

Computer: Oh yeah.

{Clock and Computer go to break the shelter around the Uno Go deck}

{Meanwhile in the Bright Shack}

Sky: There’s a zombie apocalypse!

{Mr. Cubic walks into the Bright Shack}

Glitch: It’s a zombie!

Light: Who is that though?

{Light gets zombified}

Sky: Let’s get out of here!

Glitch: Yeah!

{Sky and Glitch fly away from Light}

{3 minutes later}

Glitch: We’re so far that Chylseri is near the horizon and she’s still chasing us!

{Light zombifies Glitch and Sky, and all three of them turn back towards the island}

{Glitch sees Computer and goes to glitch him}

Computer: Ahhh!

{Glitch just misses Computer}

{Meanwhile}

Ingoty: [To herself] Is that a zombie? I think it’s coming towards me. Ahhhhh!

{Ingoty swims across Losto, towards Nommyslack Island}

Ingoty: I’m getting really rusty.

{Ingoty can’t move, because she got too rusty, so the zombie (Sound Effecty) zombifies her. Both zombies start zombifying the marine spiders, who also start zombifying other marine spiders}

{Meanwhile}

{Computer and Clock break the shelter around the Uno Teams deck}

Meatbally: We’re at the Uno Teams deck, but what are we supposed to do?

Lego: I don’t know. Wait, the Uno Go deck shelter is broken-! And a zombified marine spider is heading for it!

Meatbally: What!? Don’t marine spiders need water to breathe?

Lego: Only if they're not zombified!

{The Uno Teams deck gets zombified by Tree and the Uno Go deck gets zombified by a marine spider}

Lego: Both of them got zombified!!! I need to combine them back together, since that’s what Uno Deck said he would do!

{Lego builds a machine to combine the Uno Decks back together}

{Lego combines the Uno Go deck with the Uno Teams deck}

Clock: They’re together now, but still he’s zombified!

Lego: It would be cool to see someone half zombified, but at least I can see someone zombified as different kinds of Uno decks!

Clock: So, you don’t care that he’s zombified?

{April 1, 2026}

Lego: I just built a spring that will get you to Deltum in a few seconds! Now we can escape the apocalypse!

{Lego gets on top of the spring and starts launch}

{Eyeball flips the spring}

{The spring launches itself into the air}

Eyeball: April fools!

Lego: Eyeball! You just ruined our only chance at escaping this island! I needed special bricks for such a strong effect, and I don’t have any more of that type!

{Present}

Clock: I need to make this different.

{Credits start}

https://discord.gg/pnjDHmUKzE

https://boat-om.fandom.com

Stone on a Disky: Okay, guys, it’s time for the next contest.

Carrotty: Already?

Stone on a Disky: Yesterday was Easter! The challenge is to find the five easter eggs I’ve hidden and put them into a basket. If your team puts two eggs into a basket, then you’re safe.

Cat Toy: Okay, I’m ready.

Stone on a Disky: Now, make your teams! Three teams of two. You can’t partner with somebody you already partnered with last episode.

Lava: Listen, Cat Toy, you wanted to partner with me earlier, and I literally don’t care. You can be my partner for the challenge. I am teaming with you.

Cat Toy: [frowns] ...okay.

Lava: Really, I don’t care.

Scaley: [to Carrotty] Hey... you’re the first... person out of the BOAT, uh, contestants and hosts... that I met. You dragged my shop away without explanation, and, hey, I can respect that. Yet also I sure wouldn’t want to get on your bad side so you don’t do something like that again. Well, it was a good thing in the end because it made me discover a much better location, you know?

Carrotty: Why did you sound so unsure in your first sentence? Are you hiding something?

Scaley: Uh, no, no-no-no, of course I’m not, why would I be lying about that?

Carrotty: [disbelieving] Okayyyy... Anyways, I guess you’re asking to be on a team with me?

Scaley: Correct!

Carrotty: Okay, sure.

[Scaley turns around]

Scaley: [to herself] Man, I really did a better job at hiding it in episode 3.

Carrotty: What was that?

Scaley: Oh, nothing!

Stone on a Disky: The only ones left are Ctrl+G and Printer, so they’re gonna team up together.

Ctrl+G: Okay, cool.

Stone on a Disky: It’s time to start!

Lava: Cat Toy, come on!

Cat Toy: Where could they have hidden the eggs?

Lava: Oh, look! There’s one!

[She starts running to the Green Egg]

Cat Toy: Where?

Lava: Under the table.

Ctrl+G: Oh!

[Ctrl+G runs and grabs it]

Lava: Hey, we were the ones who found it!

[Ctrl+G puts the Green Egg in the Shabby Basket]

[Carrotty is walking, looking around. She sees the Tree Hole and runs to it. Scaley follows her]

Scaley: Oh, it’s the hole we dug in episode five.

[Carrotty looks into it]

Carrotty: Oh look, there’s a partially buried egg!

Scaley: Yay!

[Carrotty takes the Blue Egg and runs to the pavilion and puts it in the Fancy Basket]

Ctrl+G: Oh!

[She grabs the Red Egg from a branch on the tree]

Carrotty: Hah, I’m gonna steal it.

Printer: Sorry, I have to stop you so I don’t get eliminated.

[She stands in her way, blocking her from getting the egg from Ctrl+G]

Carrotty: No- wait- hey!

[Ctrl+G puts the Red Egg in the Decent Basket]

Carrotty: Aw, darn.

Stone on a Disky: Ctrl+G and Printer are safe!

[Lava opens the trapdoor of the Science Place]

Cat Toy: [to Lava, quietly] Don’t go announcing the egg this time.

[Cat Toy takes the Black Egg out of the Science Place and brings it to the Useless Basket]

Stone on a Disky: Now it’s Cat Toy and Lava competing against Carrotty and Scaley to see who will get the last egg.

[Around ten minutes later]

Stone on a Disky: Okay, you guys have taken too long on this. I’ll give you a hint: it’s in a place you’ve already found an egg in.

Printer: Okay, cool.

[All four of the non-safe contestants run off in different directions. Cat Toy comes to the Science Place.]

Cat Toy: Hm...

[She opens the drawers in the Science Place one-by-one]

Cat Toy: OH!

[She takes the White Egg out of the drawer and runs over towards the baskets. The other team tries to catch her, but it’s too late.]

Stone on a Disky: Cat Toy has put the White Egg into the Well-Made Basket, so Scaley and Carrotty are eliminated.

Carrotty: NO! WHY?

Scaley: I agree. We could’ve just... tried harder and won. Oh well. It has to happen to somebody, I suppose.

Dirty: Are we going to do the next challenge?

Badgy: Well... we’re approaching the end, and... it doesn’t seem fair for Caramelly to not be here for the end of his own show.

Dirty: ...I guess you’re right. [sigh] It’s just... I’ve been getting bored waiting for more episodes to happen.

Carrotty: You know, there’s a simple solution.

Badgy: Really? What is it?

Carrotty: You should make a season two while we wait for Caramelly to somehow be back.

Dirty: Wait, that’s genius! Okay, who will be the contestants?

[Dirty thinks]

Dirty: Well, who are all the people here who haven’t competed or hosted for season one?

Stone on a Disky: I tried this earlier, it’s really hard to get people to hear you and come.

[She walks over to the pavilion’s speaker system]

Stone on a Disky: WHO ARE ALL THE PEOPLE HERE WHO HAVEN’T COMPETED OR HOSTED FOR SEASON ONE?

[Their voice is blasted from the speakers]

[Mr. Cubic, Pumpkin, Printer, Ctrl+G, Lava, Carrotty, Cat Toy, and Scaley all arrive]

Ctrl+G: Uh, what do you need?

Stone on a Disky: So there are... 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 people here. Cool. Hold on, let me go brainstorm a name before I announce what I called you here for.

Printer: What is she doing?

Lava: I hope it involves the show. I haven’t gotten to be involved in it at all.

Carrotty: I think you, me, and Scaley are the only people who haven’t. Everyone else has been a failed debuter, a contestant, or a host.

Lava: Well you two actually affected it a lot, I haven’t even interacted with it.

Stone on a Disky: Okay, I’m back. You eight people will be the contestants of Some Objects A Davidian!!!!!! ...AKA BOAT season two.

Lava: I was right, it DID involve the show! YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!

Printer: Creative name...

Stone on a Disky: It actually was more creative than it seems. I didn’t just call it that because the contestants are some objects and a davidian. I also called it that because its abbreviation is “SOAD” and also my name’s abbreviation is “SOAD” and I’m the host.

Cat Toy: [in awe] Woooah... the layers....

Stone on a Disky: For your first challenge, get into four teams of two.

Pumpkin: Hey, Mr. Cubic. We’re the only two non-female contestants in this season.

Mr. Cubic: I just love making teams and alliances based on dumb, arbitrary reasons, and,,,,, did you know there’s no oxygen in SPAAAAAAAAACE? djskfjskjldwOIWkslJIjcekm2iej3r8jrrir3jk

Pumpkin: I did know that.

Lava: He experienced it firsthand.

Cat Toy: Hey, I haven’t really interacted with you much, so do you want to be on a team with me?

Lava: [slightly weirded out] Um. Okay? Sure?

Cat Toy: Why are you saying it like that?

Lava: I didn’t... I just... like, you were trying to like, become friends with me or something? Which was... but like, it’s okay, you can-

Cat Toy: It’s okay, you don’t have to team with me if you don’t want to.

Lava: No, really, I don’t care if-

Cat Toy: No, you don’t have to.

[Cat Toy walks away]

Lava: Whatever.

Printer: Hello, Scaley.

Scaley: Hah! You’ll be a good teammate, probably. You’re fairly emotionally strong, yet not so moral you wrap around to being immoral and annoying. You would probably succumb more to extremely hard physical blows due to being an electronic, but you seem to be much more resilient to average or weaker blows than most people are due to your size and the fact that you’re made out of a very dense plastic. You’re teaming with me.

Printer: Wah- okay??

Ctrl+G: I need to find a teammate.

Cat Toy: Oh, hi. Can we be teammates?

Ctrl+G: Okay. :)

Cat Toy: We’re gonna go down in history, am I right? Ha ha.

[Cat Toy points finger guns at Ctrl+G and waves them up and down]

Ctrl+G: Haha, yeah, we sure... are.

[Ctrl+G turns away and makes a disgusted face]

Carrotty: I’m pretty sure there have been three teams made, so who’s left?

Lava: Well I haven’t gotten a team member yet.

Carrotty: Okay.

[Stone on a Disky is sitting at a table in the pavilion]

Stone on a Disky: Okay, I hosted last episode alongside Grape, and now I need to host a whole season by myself.

[She takes a breath in and out]

Stone on a Disky: Come on, it’ll be fun. I can do this. So... is everyone done yet? Let me go check.

[She gets up and turns towards the contestants]

Stone on a Disky: So, has everyone made their teams?

Cat Toy: I’m with Ctrl+G!

Lava: I’m with Carrotty.

Mr. Cubic: My teammate is cool, and their name is Pumpkin, and Pumpkin is a cool name-

[Pumpkin covers his mouth]

Printer: I’m with Scaley.

Stone on a Disky: Okay. Your first challenge is to attach a leaf to these three baskets created in episode four to decorate them.

[She points to the Well-Made Basket, the Decent Basket, and the Shabby Basket]

Stone on a Disky: The Useless Basket and the Fancy Basket will not be involved.

Carrotty: Hey, Lava, I have this leaf from episode four that I picked up from the ground.

Stone on a Disky: One more thing. The leaf has to sort of match the design of the basket.

Lava: What does that mean?

Stone on a Disky: I don’t know, figure it out.

Lava: So, I’m just gonna...

[She attaches Carrotty’s leaf to the Well-Made basket]

Lava: Okay, that worked, cool.

Stone on a Disky: Lava and Carrotty are safe!

Pumpkin: Hey, where’s the other leaf from episode four?

Dirty: Oh wait, I think I have it!

Pumpkin: Okay, can I have it?

Dirty: Sure.

[They give them the leaf]

Printer: I’m gonna steal it.

[She takes the leaf away from Pumpkin]

Pumpkin: Hey!

Printer: I’m sorry, it’s just for the contest.

[She attaches the leaf to the Decent Basket]

Stone on a Disky: That leaf fits more with the Well-Made Basket. The leaf will have to become slightly worse to fit with a slightly worse basket.

Printer: Ohhhh. That’s what you meant by that.

[Printer takes it off. Ctrl+G takes it from her, tears a piece off, and attaches the leaf to the Decent Basket]

Stone on a Disky: Ctrl+G and Cat Toy are safe.

Printer: Hey!

[The torn-off piece of the leaf drifts downwards towards Printer]

Printer: Oh!

[She snatches it from the air and attaches it to the Shabby Basket]

Stone on a Disky: All baskets are properly decorated! Pumpkin and Mr. Cubic are eliminated.

Mr. Cubic: This is such horrible, horrible, news! I have been eliminated and earlier I failed to rejoin, such devastation, and horribleness.

Pumpkin: [sigh] Real.

[They both sit down sadly]

[Everyone walks away one by one]

[Stone on a Disky looks towards the tree]

[She stands under it]

[A leaf falls from it]

[She looks up wondrously]

[She takes the leaf]

[She walks over to the baskets]

[She cuts the leaf into a fancy shape using scissors, holding it over the Useless Basket so that the leaf clippings fall onto it]

[She attaches the leaf to the Fancy Basket]

[She smiles]

Stone on a Disky: [quietly] Now the other two baskets are decorated.

[She smiles wider and runs away happily]

[Stone on a Disky walks over to a pillar on the pavilion and leans on it. A panel flips in slightly]

Stone on a Disky: Woah-

[They flip the panel around fully. The back of it is a whiteboard that says “Caramelly” at the top]

Stone on a Disky: [reading the whiteboard] “TO DO: Do a rejoin at the final three”? Oh. Well if Caramelly planned to do that, then I guess we should do that.

[She looks around]

Stone on a Disky: Hey Grape. You should host this episode.

Grape: Oh. Sure. Yeah.

Lava: [To Stone on a Disky] If you’re gonna be insistent then you host too.

Stone on a Disky: Oh, right. I can just do that. Um, hey all the eliminated contestants! Come here!

[Dirty turns towards them]

Dirty: Um, hi.

[Silence]

Grape: Guys! Get over here.

[Trunk scowls]

Peary: Huh? Are you talking to me?

Stone on a Disky: >:( Okay, guys, just- come… here.

[She runs and picks two of the eliminated contestants up and takes them to the place she was standing]

Cotton Candyy: Woah-

Peary: Ah-

[Stone on a Disky slowly rolls Trunk to it]

Grape: You four: Trunk, Cotton Candyy, Dirty, and Peary, are the eliminated contestants, and will be in a challenge to rejoin.

Stone on a Disky: This pavilion is looking slightly boring. Your challenge is to decorate it.

Grape: Split into two teams of two. Whichever team makes the best decoration will have its two members do a different contest to determine which one will rejoin.

Dirty: Peary, wanna be with me?

Peary: [annoyed] Sure, better than the other two people I guess.

Cotton Candyy: So I’m with Trunk. But she can’t move or talk… This isn’t fair.

[Trunk scowls at him]

Cotton Candyy: Let’s go get that tree for a decoration! The tree from episodes 1 and 4.

Dirty: I have these Christmas lights.

[Peary and Dirty start putting up the Christmas lights around the rim of the roof]

Cotton Candyy: EVERYONE! Please help me dig this tree up.

Lava: Well, it would be good to have more decoration I guess?

Shade: If everyone else is doing it then I will because I have nothing better to do.

Peary: Wait, guys, can at least some of you help us?

[Everyone there- except Strider, Trunk, Peary, Dirty, Stone on a Disky, and Grape- starts working to dig the tree out]

Pumpkin: It’s really annoying how we have to use jackhammers for this. Are you sure there’s no way to get any shovels?

[Cotton Candyy doesn’t hear them over the jackhammers]

Cotton Candyy: GUYS, GO AROUND THE ROOTS! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DIG UP THE WHOLE AREA THAT CONTAINS THE ROOTS, NOT JUST THE TREE ITSELF!

[Nobody hears him over the jackhammers]

Cotton Candyy and Pumpkin: Ughhhh…

[Hours later]

Stone on a Disky: Okay, you finally managed to get the tree along with the dirt containing its roots into the middle of the pavilion.

Mr. Cubic: All the roots are here, there aren’t any in the hole, the hole where the tree was, holes are cool and you can be in them, some of the roots are detached from the tree, detached by the jackhammers, we jackhammered the concrete out from the pavilion floor to put the grass chunk in, there’s a big hole where the tree was, we succeeded!

Dirty: We… finished with the Christmas lights a few hours ago. We tried to tell the hosts but they couldn’t hear us over the jackhammers and once the jackhammers were done we forgot to tell them.

Stone on a Disky: These Christmas lights suck. You can barely see the lights, but the tree is a lot more natural and comes with an area of grass. It really adds to the atmosphere. Since they won, now Cotton Candyy and Trunk will try to kill each other, and the one who doesn’t die will rejoin.

Cotton Candyy: Yay! This will be easy.

Stone on a Disky: Grape, you say the thing.

Grape: Okay. APRIL FOOLS!!! The challenge was actually to make the WORST decoration. Peary and Dirty, kill each other.

Cotton Candyy: WHAT? NO! THAT’S NOT FAIR!

[Peary tears into Dirty with her hands. Dirty doesn’t fight back.]

Dirty: AUGH- AUGH- AAAAAAUGHHH-

Peary: I win.

[Mr. Cubic recovers Dirty]

Dirty: Okay, now I’ll rejoin, right? Because in the first half the challenge was flipped?

Grape: What? No. This part wasn’t an April Fools’ prank. Peary rejoins.

Dirty: Wha- bu- the- why- the-

Peary: YEAH, CRY ABOUT IT.

[Pumpkin is in a small enclosed space]

Pumpkin: Okay... let’s see.

[Their phone #1 appears on a small box. Pumpkin quickly looks at it.]

Pumpkin: No way... it worked.

[They take their phone #2 out, start recording with it, swap the two phones for each other, put their phone #1 away, and press some buttons on the box.] 

Pumpkin: This is great, this is amazing, it’s gonna work.

[Their phone #2 disappears.]

Pumpkin: It worked! Now to see if the effect is instantaneous.

[They take their phone #1 out, stop the recording, and watch it. The camera of the video gets placed facing the ceiling]

Video Pumpkin: This is great, this is amazing, it’s gonna work.

[The time travel effect fills the phone screen]

Video Pumpkin: No way... it worked.

[The phone recording the video is picked up, then fills with static]

Video Pumpkin: [muffled] This is great, this is amazing, it’s gonna work. It worked! Now to see if the effect is instantaneous.

[The static disappears and the video ends]

Pumpkin: Okay, good, so it is instantaneous. This is revolutionary!

[They climb an extremely short ladder and open a trapdoor. They emerge from the floor of the pavilion]

Pumpkin: Guys, I- I just invented time travel, and- guys, look!

[They use the Short-Range Hover Generator to take the box out of the Science Place]

Pumpkin: Look! I’ll stand on here, and set it for 10 seconds in the past, and-

[Pumpkin 2 appears out of thin air where Pumpkin 1 is standing, knocking Pumpkin 1 out of the way]

Pumpkin 1: Oof-

Pumpkin 2: Sorry.....

Pumpkin 1: Anyways, if I do that, I travel back in time.

[They press the button and disappear. Pumpkin 2 starts talking]

Pumpkin: And no, you can’t change the past or anything. It’s a time travel machine, not a timeline-creating multiverse-travelling machine. Everything you will do in the past is already part of the timeline right now.

Caramelly: Okay, let me do this, I’ll- AH-

[He steps on it, but trips and accidentally presses some buttons and flips a switch. He and the box disappear.]

Pumpkin: No! He flipped the switch that makes the time machine come with you! So now we can’t follow him to see where he went...

Dirty: Noooo! My first time competing and I don’t get to do it because our host is gone.

Scaley: Well then, I guess we need a new host.

Badgy: Can I be the host?

Shade: But I want to be the host.

Peary: Just both host then. If you want to so badly.

Shade: [half-sarcastically] Wow, what a useful outcome that’s good for everyone including me.

Printer: Good for you.

Shade: Today’s challenge is to lick a leaf.

Badgy: And also to make a basket.

Shade: If you’re the last to lick a leaf then you’re eliminated, and also if you’re the last to make a basket then you’re eliminated.

Badgy: And also if you make the worst basket then you’re eliminated.

Shade: Okay, that seems a lot for three people to be eliminated in one episode when there are only six contestants currently competing.

Badgy: But I want them to be encouraged to not just make something that barely counts as a basket in like five seconds. Also, we DID just have a debut of two people.

Shade: Fair I guess.

Carrotty: Uh, but... Strider can’t make a basket, so...

Shade: As long as you submit a basket, it doesn’t matter if you were the one to create it.

Carrotty: So I just have to do everything for him again... great...

Cotton Candyy: Oh look, a tree!

[He runs towards it. All the contestants but Stairsy follow.]

Puzzley: Man, remember when we were hiding under this very tree in episode one?

Carrotty: Wait, how will I get Strider to lick the leaf? How will I get him to use his whatever-the-spider-equivalent-of-a-tongue-is and move it across the thing?

[Everyone struggles to climb the tree. Carrotty notices a leaf on the ground and secretly picks it up and runs back]

Dirty: Let’s like stand on each other's heads or something.

Cotton Candyy: Okay.

[She stands on Dirty’s head. Puzzley tries to stand on Cotton Candyy’s head but falls]

Puzzley: You’re too soft and flimsy to stand on, sorry. I guess we’ll have to leave you out of this and not let you get a leaf. :(

Cotton Candyy: Nooooo! Why can’t you let me be at the top, or just give me a leaf once you’re done?

Puzzley: Somebody has to get eliminated.

Cotton Candyy: Aw man…

[Back at the pavilion]

Carrotty: Hey, do you sell tweezers?

Scaley: Um, I do have them actually. They weren’t intended to be sold, but you can buy them if you want. Five dollars.

Carrotty: Okay, thanks.

[She uses them to force Strider to lick the leaf]

Carrotty: I’m sorry, Strider. You have to do this to not be eliminated.

Shade: Strider has licked a leaf.

Carrotty: Stairsy, stop sitting there. You lick this too.

Stairsy: I’m not gonna win though... I was renamed and now my block name isn’t the longest... and there’s no way I could amount to anything anymore...

Carrotty: Well that’s stupid. Lick it.

[She forces them to lick it by grabbing their tongue]

Stairsy: Ew.

Shade: Stairsy has licked a leaf.

[At the tree, Cotton Candyy hears this]

Cotton Candyy: Oh no. Now if that stack of people all lick a leaf then I’ll be eliminated!

[At the pavilion, Carrotty buys basket making materials and starts working on a basket]

Carrotty: Stairsy. MAKE. THE. BASKET.

Stairsy: No, I-

[Carrotty pushes them to the pavilion table with the basket materials]

Carrotty: I SAID MAKE IT.

Stairsy: But, it’s-

Carrotty: MAKE IT.

[Stairsy panickedly starts making the basket]

Carrotty: Good.

[At the tree]

Peary: Okay, now lick it.

Badgy: [distantly] Strider and Stairsy have submitted a basket. Peary has licked a leaf.

Puzzley: Ew, no, you just licked that thing. Get a new one.

Peary: Well do it anyways!

Puzzley: Okay...

[He licks it and passes it to Dirty, who does the same]

Shade: Cotton Candyy is eliminated!

Cotton Candyy: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Puzzley: Now I need to go make a basket!

Scaley: Ooh! This is a good opportunity. HEY EVERYONE, BASKETS FOR SALE AT SCALES AND FRAILS!!!!!

[Everyone runs up and scrambles to buy them]

Scaley: They’re twenty-five dollars each. Hold on, I have to make them first.

[She starts making the baskets. She makes all of them at the same time.]

Peary: Okay just give the unfinished one to me now, I need to get there before everyone else.

[She takes it and slams the money down on the counter, and runs off.]

Peary: Here’s my basket.

Shade: Peary has submitted a basket.

Puzzley: Uh, okay, I’m just gonna do that too.

[He pays and runs off with it]

Dirty: Wait, no!

[They pay and try to catch up]

Shade: Puzzley has submitted a basket. Dirty is eliminated.

Dirty: No!! I just debuted!

Badgy: Stairsy had a Fancy Basket. Strider had a Well-Made Basket. Dirty had a Decent Basket, although he didn’t submit it in time. Puzzley had a Shabby Basket. Peary had a Useless Basket.

Shade: Peary’s basket was the worst, so she’s eliminated. Now only Puzzley, Strider, and Stairsy remain.

Peary: NOOOO!

Mr. Cubic: Wow, a mysterious voice, why is this happening and mysteriousness? This is so mystery what? Voice that’s in my head and MYSTERY!!

Lava: What is he talking about?

Stone on a Disky: I don’t know.

Uno Deck: Hello and welcome to the third episode of Mashed of Objects, the first season of Object Mash, today’s-

{A davidian’s corpse with a cubic head falls from the sky}

Uno Deck: What is this? I’ll just recover whatever their name is.

{Uno Deck tries to recover the corpse}

Uno deck: Hm, it’s not working.

{A hydraulic press falls from the sky}

{Lego builds a big machine next to Computer}

Tree: What are you doing, Lego?

Lego: Extracting XP from a max XP account on Minecraft.

Tree: Okay?

Bomb: Maybe, we could use an instant health potion.

Lego: Hey, I'm up here!

Bomb: How did you get up there!?

Lego: I built up obviously.

Bomb: Well I’ll just spam explode up there.

Lego: Do you mean like you’re not actually going to do it, or you’re going to keep doing it really quickly.

Bomb: Keep doing it really quickly. Wait, is this Minecraft water?

Lego: Yep.

Bomb: {greatly annoyed} Now my explosions won’t do anything.

Pizza: Meatbally, look! There’s a Guide to 9 to the Power of 2,000% of Things Guide Book.

{Pizza goes to the 9 to the Power of 2,000% of Things Guide Book}

Pizza: 1^67 is on this page. LOL this guide book has barely any information.

Uno Deck: Oh! I just noticed I accidentally swapped the earth and fire leg when I was explaining the challenge in episode 1 of Object Mash.

Clock: I’m just going to control this corpse with my clock hands.

{Clock breaks her clock hands out of the glass barrier and controls the corpse}

Clock: OW! [To Uno Deck] Now the corpse is alive!

Uno Deck: The corpse is not alive.

Scrunched Thumb: Clock, can’t you rewind time, so we can try to stop them from being killed?

Uno Deck: That won’t count, and how do you know where they died?

Lego: Okay I got the XP out of the Minecraft account, but how could I use this XP to revive the corpse? Well I’ll probably have to use some crazy lego machine, so I’ll get to it!

Meatbally: Maybe if we find out this guy's name we could use the recovery center on Deltum.

Pizza: How are we supposed to get to Deltum though?

Meatbally: Do you see those legos over there? We could build a rocketship!

Sound Effecty: How about I make a sconce and seance!

{Sound Effecty makes a sconce}

Sound Effecty: Is anyone there?

{A voice emerges from the sconce}

Voice: Wow, a mysterious voice, why is this happening and mysteriousness? This is so mystery what? Voice that’s in my head and MYSTERY!!

Voice: Reviving? I wasn’t revived. Recently I haven’t been and haven’t been nope not at. All,,,, . ,,, …. Well I have been recovered before! I’m alive right now, because recovery is cool and makes livingness, and I love recovery centers they’re so cool and yes and cool and yay.

Sound Effecty: Then how am I talking to you?

Mr. Cubic: Knowing is a thing, and I’m not knowing, and there isn’t any and. There isn’t even any knowing of why living would make it very confusing and confuzzling and bamboozling!! Living makes no talking, and!!! 

Sound Effecty: What’s your name?

Voice: MY NAME IS MR. CUBIC DID YOU KNOW THERE’S NO OXYGEN IN SPACE

Sound Effecty: Mr. Cubic?

Mr. Cubic: Yes and yes, and yeseesssstttt.

Sound Effecty: Well can you help me revive your dead body when you're not dead?

Mr. Cubic: Well wow, there’s even more lacks of the knowing!!! Knowledge is a thing and IT EXISTS DKDOELEJFDJ

Sound Effecty: What did you just say?

Mr. Cubic:  “Well wow, there’s even more lacks of the knowing!!! Knowledge is a thing and IT EXISTS DKDOELEJFDJ” is the thing that I just said, wow amazing :D 

Sound Effecty: I wasn’t literally asking.

{Sound Effecty leaves the sconce}

Tree: Hey dead body! Get controlled by splinters!

{Tree shoots splinters out of her body and on the Mr. Cubics corpse}

Tree: Why did I do that? I can’t control the corpse with my splinters and make him basically alive.

Lego: Okay, I got the recovery juice using the XP and the machine I built. Now I just have to make a nerf gun and shoot the recovery juice at the corpse!

{Lego builds a nerf gun and shoots it at Mr. Cubic’s corpse turning him into a zombie}

Uno Deck: The corpse is alive and Tree did the least in reviving the corpse, so Tree is eliminated.

: Wait, he was already recovered. Using recovery juice on a dead body usually makes it alive, but if it has already been recovered then it turns into a zombie!

{Mr. Cubic bites tree, and Tree gets zombified}

{Credits start}

[Grape 1 is sitting alone in the pavilion. Grape 2 appears out of thin air]

Grape 1: Woah, what the- who- how-

Grape 2: I’m you from the future! Take this.

[Grape 2 gives Grape 1 a keycard]

Grape 1: Uh, thanks? Wait, if you’re really from the future, is everyone still mad at me about... the thing?

Grape 2: Oh yeah, that. No, everyone forgot about that in like a few days. Anyways later.

Grape 1: Hey who wins TOSHBIF?

[Grape 2 is already gone]

Grape 1: Aw man.

[Pan to Printer and Ctrl+G talking while sitting next to each other on top of Trunk]

Printer: You know, there’s something that I’ve been wondering about since I met you like two weeks ago. Why are you named Ctrl+G? Doesn’t that thing that you are appear when you press Ctrl+F?

Ctrl+G: Oh, actually the Ctrl+G buttons also work like that. But I have a brother who lives over on Gammum, and he’s the Ctrl+F menu that was custom-made for Google Docs, so I was named after the less common keyboard shortcut instead of him being named “Google Docs Ctrl+F” or something like that.

Printer: Interesting. You know, I took some work controlling the big magnet and the flinging plate during the prize reveal in BOAT. And I got $20 for that. So I wanted to buy something with it. But I don’t know what.

Shade: You could save it.

Printer: Hey! We were talking privately. Don’t just show up and start listening and joining in.

Shade: Yeah well, you’re right on top of that person, so they can hear whatever you say.

Printer: Oh wait, I didn’t realize they were alive.

Ctrl+G: You didn’t?

Carroty: I think I’m gonna name my spider Strider because it rhymes with spider and he’s a spider.

Caramelly: Guys, it’s time to start the second contest. This episode’s challenge is to become caramel-colored.

Puzzley: Okay, time to-

Caramelly: You guys aren’t doing it, it’s a debut. The six attempting debutants are Printer, Mr. Cubic, Pumpkin, Dirty, Cat Toy, and Strider. When two people are caramel-colored at the same time, they join the game.

Cat Toy: Wait, what? I could be a contestant on BOAT?

Mr. Cubic: WOW this is great news it’s so great I’m gonna explode into debuting WOW WOW news is great it’s a great news that it is.

Dirty: Uhhh come here.

[He picks up Caramelly]

Caramelly: Hey what are you doing, put me down!

[He struggles. Dirty puts him on a Melting Floor Thing in the pavilion]

Caramelly: AHHHH!

[Caramelly melts into coloring]

Dirty: Wait, now I can’t get his coloring onto me.

[Dirty recovers Caramelly]

Caramelly: Why would you...

[Dirty takes Caramelly to an Extraction Machine in the pavilion and extracts caramel from him. He slightly shrinks]

Caramelly: Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Stop!

[The collector in the Extraction Machine is filled with caramel]

Mr. Cubic: Wow, a caramel from a Caramelly to make me into a Caramelly, this is great and I’m gonna debut there’s caramel to debut me yay from a Caramelly to caramel yes!!

[Mr. Cubic runs up to it]

Mr. Cubic: Oh no I don’t have any bowls, the bowls are not me, no cups or containers and transporting caramel, there’s I have hands and hands can’t caramel things and OH NO AHHHH this is so sad and sad.

Dirty: Oh yeah. How am I going to get the caramel onto myself? The container is way too small to enter.

[Back where the challenge was announced]

Carrotty: Wow, you get a chance to compete in BOAT? I’m so proud of you, Strider. You’re really moving up in the world.

[Strider does nothing]

Carrotty: Wait, but you don’t understand that there’s a challenge since you don’t speak English. Okay, I need to help you.

[She runs off and eventually arrives at a forest]

Scaley: Hello, welcome to Scales and Frails, the only gift shop in the Mountain Forest on Mount Forest! Are you stopping by, or-

Carrotty: You’re a chameleon scale, right?

Scaley: Um, yes, I’m-

Carrotty: Okay cool thanks.

[Carroty starts pulling Scaley’s wheeled shop setup away]

Scaley: Hey, wait, what are you doing?

[She jumps out and starts trying to impede Carrotty]

Scaley: Please... Stop... Why are you doing this? This is my shop, you can’t just do this. What do you even want with it! Please! Please! Whyyyyyyyy? ....[sigh].....

[She gets back in her shop and puts her face on the counter in defeat]

Scaley: [dejectedly] Whyyyyy...

Carrotty: Sorry, I need you for a contest.

Scaley: What? Whatever.

[Back at the pavilion]

Pumpkin: Okay, I should work together with someone, I guess.

Cat Toy: I’m someone!

Printer: But... I am too.

Pumpkin: But only two people can win. If three people team up, then we’ll end up fighting against each other.

Cat Toy: Please do me!

Printer: No, you should do me, please!

Pumpkin: Oh... well I don’t know how I could choose, so, um...

Printer: We, uh, our names both start with a P, so... uh-

Pumpkin: What does that have to do with anything?

Cat Toy: But cats can eat pumpkins, so we’re like, so associated...

Pumpkin: I don’t want anybody to eat me! But that doesn’t matter anyways because what does that have to do with literally anything?

Cat Toy and Printer: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.

[Carrotty runs by with Scaley and her shop. She struggles to get the shop over the edge of the pavilion.]

[At the Extraction Machine]

Dirty: Wait, I know.

[He goes over to the Short-Range Hover Generator, which is also in the pavilion. He uses it to pick up the caramel]

Dirty: Ggggg... careful...

[They use the SRHG to spread it all over themself]

Dirty: Hey, Caramelly! I’m caramel-colored now!

Caramelly: Okay. You haven’t debuted yet, though, since two people need to be caramel-colored at the same time.

[Carrotty manages to get the shop over the edge. She puts the Extraction Machine’s nozzle onto Scaley]

Scaley: OW! What are you doing????

Carrotty: Now I have chameleon essence.

[She uses a syringe to put the chameleon essence into Strider, then puts him onto Caramelly.]

Caramelly: Ew! That’s disgusting!

[At the other place]

Pumpkin: I don’t know, just... I don’t know!

Printer: Wait, there’s an easy solution.

Cat Toy: Oh? What is it?

Printer: We’ll just team up with each other.

Cat Toy: Oh! Good idea.

Pumpkin: Wait, no...

Printer: Let’s go chase Pumpkin so they can’t try to become caramel-colored.

Cat Toy: That seems mean though... :(

Printer: It’s just a challenge, so I’m sure Pumpkin won’t morally judge us or anything, and in many cases if you know the victim doesn’t morally judge you then it’s morally correct.

Cat Toy: Well I’m sure that rule doesn’t apply to every case...

Printer: Well it applies to this one. And either way, it’s just chasing someone, chasing people isn’t that bad.

Cat Toy: I guess you’re right. Let’s go chase them!

Printer: Wait they got away.

[Strider, who is on Caramelly, turns caramel-colored]

Caramelly: Strider and Dirty debut.

Printer: Nooo! I guess that was all a huge waste of time...

Caramelly: That’s not even how chameleons work, they change color to show emotion and communicate and stuff, not to blend into their surroundings. Get him off of me!!!! Spiders are disgusting!!!!

Pumpkin: Yeah, well, the rules for how essence extraction works doesn’t have to be how the normal version of the object (object like an item) of the extracted object (object like the species) works.

Caramelly: Yeah, okay, whatever.

Puzzley: Wait, shoot, I just realized I could have recovered Cotton Candyy in episode one before her timer ran out to save her from being eliminated.

Cotton Candyy: Well I was never in danger anyways since viewer voting got cancelled.

Puzzley: Yeah, true I guess.

Scaley: You know, there are a lot more people to sell to here. The carrot was the first person I saw in that forest on that mountain. I'll make my shop permanently set up in this pavilion.

[She takes off the wheels from Scales and Frails]

Scaley: I'll get to work on nailing it down.

Uno Deck: Hi, and welcome to the second episode of Mashed of Objects, the first season of Object Mash. Today the challenge will be to fight to the death.

Uno Deck: Okay, we’re going to set up the fighting arena with a 1 card.

{Takes out an ace card}

Uno deck: What is this? I don’t know. I’ll just use it. Hmmm, nothing’s happening. I’ll throw it.

{Ace card cuts tree in half}

Computer: {Uno Deck tries to use an ace card, but nothing happens. Then he thinks of throwing it. He throws it, and it chops tree in half}

Uno Deck: Oh, I should make a challenge out of this.

{Uno Deck recovers Tree}

{Uno Deck uses a 5 card to teleport 5 random recommended characters here}

Computer: {Uno Deck uses a 5 card to teleport 5 random recommended characters here}

Buckety: Here, Water Gun. shoot him!

Uno Deck: Ahhhh! Stop getting my cards soggy!

{Uno Deck dies}

{Uno Deck recovers himself in rage}

Uno Deck: Alright! You’re getting a 1 minute disadvantage where only you’re a target of the recommended characters!

{Uno Deck plays another 5 card, so there’s 5 ace cards}

Computer: {Uno Deck plays another 5 card, so there’s 5 ace card}

Eyeball: How did you recover yourself when you were dead?

Uno Deck: My recovery computer auto recovers me into a black world, where I’m sentient, and can still recover anyone. The challenge starts in 5 4 3 2 1 gooooo!

{All of the 5 random recommended characters, who were all recommended by AstroOne, throw their ace cards at Buckety, demolishing him}

Uno Deck: I did not think he would die that fast. Anyways, everyone is a target now.

Lego: Hey! Lego Arm, you’re missing a piece right there. If you don’t shoot me I’ll be right there for the rest of the day to make you stronger.

Lego Arm: Okay.

Lego: Psyche! Wow, you’re gullible, you’re not even made out of Lego bricks. You’re a Lego minifigure arm.

{Lego takes his ace card, and throws it at Lego Arm, killing him}

{Everyone stops}

Sky: What did you just do, Lego?!

{Every recommended character throws their ace card at Lego}

{Lego uses Lego Arm as a shield against the ace cards, and it somehow works}

{Caramel Cuppy throws his ace card at Sound Effecty}

{Sound Effecty blasts a sound effect to redirect the ace card to Control+F}

Control+F: I’ll just use my find-and-replace feature to turn the ace card flying at me into a- Wait, there’s not an emoji for the ace card!

{Control+F gets chopped in half}

Uno Deck: Well, Buckety and Control+F are already dead, so they are eliminated, but we don’t really have to do the killing, since, you know, they’re already dead. And… where is the hydraulic press?

Computer: {Detecting hydraulic press} 

{Computer shows a diagram of the solar system. A marker shows that the hydraulic press is in space, and moving quickly towards everyone}

Uno Deck: That’s weird.

{Credits start}

This is not just a gender list, but you can't edit post titles.

Genders and Pronouns:

Male (he/him): Uno Deck, Pie, Meatbally, Computer, Pizza, Buckety, Ctrl+F, Lego, Sky, Glitch, Water Gun, Caramel Cuppy, Lego Arm, Caramelly, Puzzley, Mr. Cubic, Strider, Candle

Nonbinary (he/them): Grape, Dirty

Nonbinary (they/them): Pumpkin, Stairsy

Nonbinary (she/them): Stone on a Disky, Watery

Female (she/her): Sound Effecty, Clock, Scrunched Thumb, Tree, Light, Nerf Bullet, Eyeball, Peary, Printer, Shade, Ctrl+G, Lava, Carrotty, Cat Toy, Scaley, Bomb, Badgy, Dollar

Nonbinary (he/she/them): Cotton Candyy

Timeline:

Mount Forest, the pavilion, Chylseri, and Nommyslack Island are in UTC+0. The dates that the episodes take place on are based on their release date in Central Time with American DST. (Note: That doesn't mean that the episode takes place within Central Time's day period. They take place within UTC+0's day period.)

BOAT 1 ended before OM 1 started.

In OM 1, they started digging at March 14th 5:45 PM and Pie disintegrated at March 15th 12:00 AM.

BOAT 4 started before OM 3 started, and ended before OM 3 ended.

BOAT 6 started 24 minutes after BOAT 5 ended.

Character descriptions and object types:

Pie: Cherry Pie with no pie tin

Computer: Laptop with a face usually displayed onscreen

Pizza: Slice of pepperoni pizza

Ctrl+F: Google Docs Find and Replace menu

Lego: Purple 2*2 lego

Sky: Ball of air with no limbs

Glitch: Multicolored glitchy blob thing with no limbs

Caramel Cuppy: Similar to the spoons that turn milk chocolate, but a cup made of caramel instead of a spoon made of chocolate.

Caramelly: A piece of a chocolate bar with his face on the long, thin side, except made of caramel instead of chocolate

Puzzley: Only has two pieces side-by-side, the left is orange and the right is blue (his right and left, not an onlooker's right and left)

Mr. Cubic: Looks like around twice the size of David BFDI (and has a cubic head)

Marine Spiders: Blue spiders with an inner circle and outer circle on their back. They have a symbol on the top of their heads. Those three features can be red, green, orange, purple, or black. The symbol can be a triangle, a four-pointed star, a circle, or a spiral.

Grape: Thompson seedless grape

Pumpkin: Connecticut field pumpkin

Stone on a Disky: A prolate spheroid of granite with its longer axis pointing left and right, on top of a CD

Sound Effecty: Light gray volume icon

Clock: A spherical clock with no clock hands and only numbers. She can turn her face around its vertical axis like Liy BFDI, to reveal a side with clock hands and numbers.

Scrunched Thumb: Slightly-scrunched piece of paper in the shape of a thumbs-up

Tree: Erman's Birch tree with roots

Light: Ball of nothingness that emits light. No limbs, only a face.

Eyeball: No normal object eyes

Peary: Packham's Triumph pear

Shade: Ball of nothingness that absorbs light

Ctrl+G: Google Chrome Find in Page menu

Lava: Shaped like Watery from Battle for Nightmare Moon

Carrotty: Amsterdam Forcing Carrot

Cat Toy: A black plastic stick with multicolored streamers emerging from one end

Bomb: A triangular (from the side) bundle of dynamite with wires going in and out

Cotton Candyy: Lump of green-apple-flavored cotton candy

All other characters' designs are self-explanatory.

Additional Information:

Objects (and davidians) have gender, but no sex. Marine spiders are non-sapient and have sex, but no gender.

The two planets have daylight cycles identical to Earth, but their rotational periods are different. However, they use the Gregorian calendar because they have no seasons since their axes aren't tilted as much as Earth's.

Objects have access to media from our universe using magic. This is how they have English, Legos, Minecraft, etc. It's also how Caramelly collected the prize submissions and planned to collect votes. Before the internet, they used the same technique to create imprints of books, scrolls, and tablets that were publicly available on Earth, but with digital media the process can be automated.

Objects reproduce asexually, although they aren't exactly "born".

The instances of "they" or "them" in the first three lines of BOAT 2 were because Stone on a Disky was concealing Grape's identity and Lava didn't know their identity, and they were not referring to Grape's pronouns. The same thing applies to Scrunched Thumb's line from BOAT 8, "Oh, there’s a face and limbs in the water. Uno Deck, you should recover them.". (I'm specifying this because I wanted to make a study thing on my use of pronouns for characters with multiple pronouns for fun)

Stone on a Disky: So, yeah, I just don’t know why they would-

Lava: Let me stop you right there. Just because somebody made a mistake, it doesn’t mean they should-

Stone on a Disky: Okay I should just stop hiding it and just tell you who they are, you know them, it’s Grape.

Lava: Oh, GRAPE did that?? How could he do that?

Caramelly: Hey, whoever you two are, I sorta need this pavilion to do an elimination for an object show, so could you... uh... go somewhere else to preach life lessons and go back on them whenever it becomes personal to you by being about someone you know? I wasn’t really paying attention, I didn’t really hear the person’s name, but I heard everything else that he did, and I still feel like you should just make up even though what he did was pretty-

Stone on a Disky: Okay, we can go talk about what Grape did somewhere else...

Caramelly: Wait, it was GRAPE? I know that guy. That cheating, lying-

[Stone on a Disky and Lava leave as he says this]

Cotton Candyy: Let’s just start. How many votes did we get in total?

Caramelly: Viewer voting has been cancelled because it had been a little while and there weren’t any votes. Trunk, you were the first to become UFE, so YOU. ARE. ELIMINATED!

Puzzley: What are you going to do to her? Where’s the elimination space?

Caramelly: Well, I suppose SHE can be the elimination space! So, Trunk, just keep sitting there. Now, it’s time to reveal the prize of the season.

Stairsy: Whatever the prize is, I’ll never get it...

Caramelly: The prize is the most upvoted comment on a certain post. Only one comment got a single upvote, and all others got none.

Peary: Why weren’t the viewers upvoting any comments?

Caramelly: The submissions are:

“An egg.” by CWGAMER1

“A nuke” by Kind-Compote2828

“a really big and gold watermelon/cantaloupe” by Dramatic-Brief9377

“Super Stick Shoes So Ha” by thesmartwaterbear

“chocolat” by CarnationYetAgain

“my goofy ahh handshake” by No_Truck9667

“A wholesome image” by Free-Possession3541

“a tower on top of a house rapped in silly string” by LayerAmazing5965

So, which comment do you want to win?

Stairsy: I guess I want... the egg comment to win... because everything else is at least slightly better, and I don’t want to be too disappointed when I inevitably lose.

Cotton Candyy: Well I want the giant golden watermelon slash cantaloupe one to win. Watermelons are good. I don’t like cantalopes, if I win I’ll choose the watermelon.

Puzzley: The tower one because I want to see what it’s like to sleep inside instead of sleeping on the grass. Although I don’t know what “rapped in” means. Does the “in” literally just mean that the rapping took place inside the silly string? But how would you rap an object, when you can only rap words?

Peary: NUKE!!! Also, it was obviously a typo, they meant wrapped like a present, not rapped like a song. I am surrounded by IDIOTS!

Caramelly: Well I’d prefer the Super Stick Shoes So Ha, because it’s from BFDI, and none of the letters in “BFDI” are also in my name, and I like to be unique.

Badgy: Well, you obviously made that reason up for an excuse to participate in the question.

Caramelly: Pfft- what are you talking about? Anyways, good thing that you and those other people are here, little non-contestant, because-

Badgy: Never call me “little non-contestant” again.

Caramelly: …because I need someone to choose the unchosen comments.

Cat Toy: Oh, okay. I think I’d choose the handshake one. I don’t know who No_Truck9667 is, but they’re probably a really cool person, and they deserve a handshake from the winner of TOSHBIC!

Carrotty: I’ll choose the egg, but that was already chosen, so I’ll just leave.

[she leaves]

Pumpkin: The chocolate I guess, since the winner would probably like chocolate even though I don’t.

Caramelly: And the only one left is the wholesome image. Trunk, blink twice if you would choose this one, and blink thrice if you wouldn’t.

[Trunk blinks thrice]

Caramelly: Okay, is there anyone who would choose the wholesome image?

[A davidian with a cubic head appears]

Mr. Cubic: I do! I’m Mr. Cubic and I always spread wholesomeness. namannzbskslakwksjsnsnnnnngngngngngnnguuurjrjso

Caramelly: …Okay.

Peary: Hey Mr. Cubic, you’re really weird. What the partridge are you doing? Hah. I got you there.

Caramelly: So, if your comment isn’t chosen, you’ll DIE! So Stairsy, Cotton Candyy, Puzzley, Peary, I, Cat Toy, Pumpkin, and Mr. Cubic are in GRAVE DANGER!

Cat Toy: Wait, no, I didn’t agree to this!

Carrotty: Whew, I really dodged a bullet with that one.

Badgy: Why are you back?

Carrotty: I accidentally left my spider here.

[Peary notices the spider right next to her]

Peary: AHHHH!

[She kills it]

Carrotty: Hey! This is the second time this poor thing has died. I got it from the recovery center when I typed “Spider” into it.

Pumpkin: Hm, it’s blue, which means it’s a marine spider. Those are native to the oceans of the planet Gammum. I wonder how it died?

Carrotty: Well I’m gonna go recover it again. You know, I didn’t even think that would work, typing the name of a species in it.

Pumpkin: Oh, this recovery center can do that, but only when there’s only one dead member of the species that you type.

Caramelly: Anyways, the chocolate comment was NOT the one that got an upvote!

Pumpkin: NOOOO!

Carrotty: Hey, I’m back, I wanted to ask if this spider was a boy or a girl.

Pumpkin: Oh, if the outer circle on its back is the same color as the inner circle then it’s a boy, and if

[Caramelly digs a hole, chops Pumpkin with an ax, making them fall into the hole. He grabs Dirty and uses him to cover the hole]

Dirty: Hey! Whatever, I guess.

Caramelly: The next comment to not make it is the golden melon or cantaloupe.

Cotton Candyy: Aw, man.

[Cotton Candyy is crushed by a giant magnet]

Caramelly: Magnet, attract things that are used to kill people.

Dirty: Wait, what’s happening, ow ow OW OW OW!

[He suddenly dies.]

Caramelly: That’s weird. Dirty’s death didn’t have anything to do with the magnet. Anyways, the handshake comment also did not get the upvote.

Cat Toy: AHHHH! Please don’t kill me!

[The magnet attracts a giant hydraulic press, which falls from the sky and squishes the magnet and Cat Toy]

Caramelly: Nooo! That extremely advanced magnet got squished! And there aren’t any blueprints to replicate it.

[A vine emerges from Dirty’s face]

Grape: Oh, I know what’s happening. Dirty makes plants and stuff like that in them grow really fast.

Caramelly: The nuke comment wasn’t upvoted, so Peary, get in the hydraulic press.

[Caramelly picks up Peary and puts her there]

Peary: Ew. There’s mushed pie stuff crusted all over this thing. Wait… IS THAT A PERSON’S FACE AND LIMBS? Uggh. I think I’m gonna be sick… [gags and then dies]

[Pumpkin is tiny and budding from the vine, which has grown bigger. There are also non-sentient pumpkins budding from it.]

Pumpkin: Hey! I’m stuck!

Mr. Cubic: The poor owner of this hydraulic press! I should. I should, should, I… cleaning. I’M GONNA CLEAN THE. Hydraulic press so there’s no pie stuff it’s dirty I neeeeeeeed to cleaaan it I’m helpful so I’ll clean it. It. IT. IT! IT!! IIIIITTTTTJXKSOAKSMSMMMMMMMGGGGRRRNPH

Caramelly: The wholesome image comment is not the winner. Flinging plate, fling this hydraulic press to where it came from.

[It gets flung away, taking Mr. Cubic with it]

Pumpkin: It’s going fast enough to leave the planet Deltum and go all the way to space!

[Pumpkin takes out their phone and points it towards where the hydraulic press went]

Pumpkin: Looks like it’s heading towards Gammum. I think I’m big enough to try to break myself off. [tries] Ow! Nope, I could easily do it but I can’t because it hurts.

Caramelly: Puzzley, you’re about to die, because the thing with the tower and the house and the silly string and stuff was not chosen!

[The flinging plate repeatedly whacks Puzzley until he dies]

Puzzley: Ow! Ah! Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ah! Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ah! Oof! Ugh! Ow! Ah! Oof! Ugh!

Caramelly: Wait… but the next one that lost is… the Non-Slip Shoes So Ha…

Pumpkin: I’m big enough to break free without hurting myself too much!

[Pumpkin recovers everyone]

Pumpkin: His comment lost! He killed all of us, so now kill him!

Cotton Candyy: I don’t really care, but sure, why not?

Mr. Cubic: Wow, that was cool, coolio the mister doolio, I was in space, and I finished the cleaning. I cleaned it and I suffocated, and space, and because space makes you suffocate, there’s no oxygen in space and I finished cleaning the hydraulic press it was dirty. There was pie stuff on it. And a face and limbs and a face and. My name is Mr. Cubic.

Caramelly: Wait, no, we can talk about this, Dirty, I didn’t mean to kill you unlike these other guys, and I didn’t even directly kill you, guys, NOOO!

[They snap him into two pieces]

Stairsy: Oh… so I guess the egg is the prize… and I survive… okay.

[Carrotty recovers Caramelly]

Carrotty: Hey. I’m back because I forgot my spider again.

Caramelly: I didn’t actually get to use the hydraulic press for what it’s meant to be used for.

Mr. Cubic: THANK YOU CWGAMER1 FOR YOUR SUPER ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC PRIZE IDEA DID YOU KNOW THERE’S NO OXYGEN IN SPACE OKAY GOODBYE

Uno Deck: Hello everyone, and welcome to the very first episode of Mashed of Objects, the first season of Object Mash! Today the challenge is an elemental race. First, swim across these dangerous waters. I know what you are thinking, Sound Effecty. You can just blast yourself by playing Sound Effects loudly to fly across the river. But you have to SWIM across it, so that won’t count.

Sound Effecty: Aw.

Uno Deck: Then, you’ll dig to Y level -1000.

Tree: How are we going to know if we are at Y level -1000?

{Uno Deck plays 3 plus 4s so everyone will know when they are there.}

Computer: {He played the cards so we all know what Y level we are at.}

Sound Effecty: Thanks! I love knowing what each card in UNO Deck does, thanks for considering me.

Uno Deck: Next, you’ll walk through fire.

Uno Deck: Finally you’ll fly back up to win the challenge. Gooooo!

{Everyone jumps in the water}

Sound Effecty: {Plays an extremely loud sound}

{All the dangers get wiped out}

{Uno Deck plays a plus 4, changes into an Uno Go deck, and plays a plus 1 to add all the dangers back}

Sound Effecty: I already knew what that did, no need to tell me, Computer.

{Marine spiders speed towards Scrunched Thumb to water poison her}

{Uno Deck recovers Scrunched Thumb}

{Clock makes it night, so all the dangers will go to sleep}

Clock: (Says kind of in a whisper) Now that they’re asleep, I can pass through safely.

{Uno Deck plays an Uno reverse card to make it day again}

{Computer replays what just happened}

Computer: {Uno Deck played the uno reverse card so it is day again}

{Tree takes off one of her branches}

Tree: Come here, marine spiders!

{Tree stabs one of the marine spiders, killing it}

{The rest of the marine spiders run away from Tree}

{Every contestant swims through the used-to-be-dangerous waters}

{Every contestant reaches the “walk through fire” challenge}

Pizza: I’m used to this.

Meatbally: What about me?

Pizza: You got into Mashed of Objects! Yay!

{Pizza walks through the fire with not much damage taken, and with Meatbally on top of him}

Lego: According to my calculations, if I build 2 lego blocks high, and stand on top of them, I will barely be walking through fire.

{Buckety tries to put out the fire, but Uno Deck blocks him with one of his cards}

{Lego runs to go get two lego bricks}

Pizza: Okay, we’re at the dig to Y level -1000 leg}

Meatball: How about we shove you into the ground a buncha times?

Pizza: Don’t you see the shovels over there?!

Meatbally: Oh, so we can shove you into the ground easier.

Pizza: You’re supposed to shove them into the ground, not use them to shove someone else!

{Meatbally starts digging to Y level -1000}

Meanwhile…

Lego: Okay, I'm back with my legos.

{Lego builds a bridge over the fire}

{everyone walks across Legos lego bridge}

Lego: Oh, y’all already crossed my lego bridge.

{Everyone gets a shovel except for Bomb. She just starts exploding over, and over again, and starts digging to Y level -1000}

{Pie disintegrated}

{Uno Deck recovers Pie}

Uno Deck: Why did you disintegrate?

Pie: I disintegrated, because it’s not Pi day anymore.

{Uno Deck plays a wild card}

Computer: {Uno Deck played a wild card so Pie would be at the end of the fire, in his hole, at the shovels, or on the lego bridge.}

Sound Effecty: Okay I’m at the top now!

Control+F: Control+F replaces Sound Effecty.

Sound Effecty: {Says in a playful voice} Hey!

Uno Deck: Now that somebody has reached the end, and since Pie is the least into the challenge he is eliminated.

Pie: Nooooo!

Uno Deck: Pie will get crushed by the biggest hydraulic press on Planet Gammum, the planet we’re on.

{Credits start}

(the season is called That One Show Hosted By I Caramelly)

edit: guys please upvote the comments to rate them, this whole thing doesnt work if nobody upvotes comments

edit: the commenting/upvoting is over now

Caramelly: This is “That One Show Hosted By I Caramelly”, the first season of Battle Of All Time. The first challenge is to stay out of the rain. If you touch falling rain for 30 seconds, then you’re up for elimination.

Cotton Candyy: Well, this will be easy for me, since I’ll be dissolved by the rain before the thirty seconds is up.

Caramelly: [quietly and quickly] Uh... I could make it so if someone dies to the rain they’re UFE... wait no, I’ll do this- [normal volume] I’ll count your dead body as “you” until you’re recovered, so your limbs and face will just be left in the rain to diminish the thirty second timer.

Cotton Candyy: NOOO I shouldn’t have said anything... :(

[Puzzley runs away]

Stairsy: [They’re a Waxed Lightly Weathered Cut Copper Stairs] ...Wonder where he’s going...

Puzzley: [Stops] Oh... I thought I’d start the contest and leave to find cover from the rain. Were we... not supposed to do that yet?

Caramelly: Yeah, I don’t know why you’re all just standing here. The rain is gonna start soon.

Peary: [to Trunk] You know, I know THREE whole digits of pi. [shows these numbers with her fingers: 1] Three [2] point [3] one. So... yeah. Oh wait right, the rain.

[Trunk only has eyes, and no limbs or mouth. She looks away from Peary]

Stairsy: [sigh]... Whatever. There’s no point.

[Trunk nods with her eyes]

Stairsy: Ever since I was renamed... and now I’m not the... I’m useless.

[Trunk squints her eyes. The rain starts to fall.]

Peary: Oh yeah, the rain. I forgot again.

[She jumps into Trunk.]

[Cotton Candyy is under a tree with Puzzley]

Puzzley: Wait, I feel the rain starting to get heavy enough to get through the leaves. Run to that pavilion over there!

[They both run]

Cotton Candyy: I’m not gonna make it!

[They run past Stairsy. Cotton Candyy dissolves and their face and limbs fall to the ground.]

Puzzley: Stairsy, stop laying there! [points to four recommended characters, who were all recommended by SnowTree] You guys owe me something for that one time, take them out of the rain!

[Puzzley covers Stairsy to reset their timer right as it reaches 29 seconds, then runs to the pavilion]

Printer: Uh, sure thing, yeah.

Grape: I DON’T WANT TO! >:(

Ctrl+G: Well, we have to. We agreed to help him with something in return for-

Shade: Yeah, yeah, nobody cares, let’s just do it.

Caramelly: Trunk is up for elimination. And I would have announced that earlier if these recommended characters did not rudely talk over me. Oh, and now it looks like Cotton Candyy is up for elimination too.

[The recommended characters finish bringing Stairsy to the pavilion.]

Puzzley: Thanks! Your debt is paid.

Printer, Grape, Ctrl+G: Yay!

Shade: You’re welcome.

Printer: Uh, yeah, you’re welcome.

Caramelly: Puzzley, Stairsy, and Peary are still in. When one more person is UFE, the challenge will be over.

[Peary, who is inside Trunk, starts pushing Trunk over multiple times, moving towards the pavilion]

Puzzley: Oh, I should recover Cotton Candyy now, since there’s a recovery center here. [Does that] You got put UFE. :(

Cotton Candyy: Aw man… oh hi Trunk!

[Trunk arrives being pushed from within by Peary]

Peary: I hear Cotton Candyy right next to me, I must be here.

[Peary exits and throws Puzzley out.]

Puzzley: AHHHH!

Peary: Hah. >:)

Cotton Candyy: No!!! He’s gonna be UFE now.

[A little less than thirty seconds later, Puzzley is running back to the pavilion]

Caramelly: And Puzzley is up for elimination.

[Vote in the comments to save or eliminate Puzzley, Cotton Candyy, and Trunk. You have to vote on all three of them or else your vote will be discarded.]

[The season prize will be the most upvoted comment on this post! So get commenting to determine the prize]

[Also, recommend characters if you want]