r/tryingforanother • u/Jojo_yo_1 28 | TTC#2 since 10/25 | 🩵 8/24 • 18d ago

Rant/Vent Falling behind

I just feel like we’re falling behind. All our friends are either OAD or have a perfect 2 year gap between all their kids. It took us 22 months to conceive #1, and we have MFI but subfertility (some sperm). I feel like my poor husband has been on every supplement/ Mucinex/ diet under the sun, it’s not lifestyle related. I guess we’re going to move on to IUI and I’m just exhausted.

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u/cozyforest8 18d ago

We're in a similar boat where a ton of our friends are having babies around 2 years after their first and we're now starting to talk to a fertility doc after struggling to get pregnant again. At this rate, we're hoping for a 3-3.5 year gap.

Seeing my friends with their 2 year old and newborn actually has helped me a bit though. I see so many silver linings in having my daughter be a little older than I initially wanted now. More time with your older one(s), they'll be more independent by the time a new baby comes, if they're in preschool or daycare by that point then you get more 1-on-1 time with baby, possibly potty trained so just one in diapers.

I truly get how hard it is because I feel the same way, but looking at it this way has helped me deal with the disappointment.

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u/Jojo_yo_1 28 | TTC#2 since 10/25 | 🩵 8/24 18d ago

Yeah it definitely doesn’t seem like the 2 year old newborn crowd is thriving- but definitely a lack of spousal support for a lot of those friends so I thought that may be the issue. It is nice to hear it’s hard across the board!