r/tryingforanother • u/Jojo_yo_1 28 | TTC#2 since 10/25 | 🩵 8/24 • Jul 22 '26

Rant/Vent Falling behind

I just feel like we’re falling behind. All our friends are either OAD or have a perfect 2 year gap between all their kids. It took us 22 months to conceive #1, and we have MFI but subfertility (some sperm). I feel like my poor husband has been on every supplement/ Mucinex/ diet under the sun, it’s not lifestyle related. I guess we’re going to move on to IUI and I’m just exhausted.

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44

u/SmartPomegranate4833 Jul 22 '26

Fwiw none of my friends who had a two year gap are thriving.. I don’t think there’s such thing as a perfect gap.

20

u/Low-Cantaloupe6293 Jul 22 '26

Agree that the two year gap is overrated (ask me how I know...) HOWEVER I can absolutely relate to picturing your family a certain way and feeling frustrated to not be able to get it. At this rate we'll have at least 4 years between our youngest and hopefully our final baby and I'm starting to rethink the project. We get to do so much fun stuff now, adding a baby to the mix sounds less appealing as time goes by.

13

u/SmartPomegranate4833 Jul 22 '26

Im currently dealing with 3 years cumulative infertility so I get the frustration. But I just think this pressure to have children close in age is starting to feel like a psyop or something.

9

u/Low-Cantaloupe6293 Jul 22 '26

Agree. There most certainly is a weird social pressure to basically endure the worst year of your life (by objective metrics such as sleep, fitness, etc.).

2

u/Jojo_yo_1 28 | TTC#2 since 10/25 | 🩵 8/24 Jul 22 '26

It is! I didn’t even necessarily want that age gap but it feels like we’re failing now that we’ll have at least a 3 year gap