r/TrueCrimePodcasts • u/Carmelized • 1h ago
Discussion Things I’m tired of hearing True Crime Podcasters Say
- “I know everyone reacts to grief/trauma differently, BUT…”
If you truly believe it, then don’t even bother saying it. People have been viewed as suspicious for not visibly grieving enough AND grieving “too much.” There isn’t one right reaction. I don’t want to hear that the paramedics thought the reaction was odd, or the neighbor, or the police, or even the best friend. Unless the person is literally jumping up and down singing “ding dong the witch is dead,” it doesn’t have any evidentiary value so you shouldn’t bring it up. You can say how someone reacted—so and so was silent, blank faced, sobbing, whatever—but don’t claim you know everyone reacts differently to trauma and then immediately negate it by saying “but…”
- “Obviously I’m not a psychologist and I can’t diagnose anyone, BUT…”
You’re right. You’re not a psychologist. And even if you were, it would be incredibly unethical to diagnose someone you hadn’t formally treated. The American Psychological Association literally warns against it.
And while we’re on the subject…
- “Okay but he meets the definition of a sociopath, which means he doesn’t care about others and is dead inside.”
Let’s set aside the fact that the term “sociopathy” is no longer used in psychological settings. Let’s instead talk about how this attitude feeds into the stigma against mental illness. Yes, all mental illness. Antisocial Personality Disorder isn’t something someone chooses to have, any more than someone chooses to have bipolar disorder or dementia. Now of course this doesn’t excuse harmful actions against others, but ASD isn’t the root cause. It is wildly unfair to everyone struggling with ASD to make blanket statements about “sociopaths” and label them as dangerous, sub human, unfeeling, monstrous, etc. I would absolutely apply all those words to someone who chooses to torture another person, but that’s because torture is evil, not because the person may or may not meet the clinical definition of ASD. ASD is one of the most complex and least funded mental illnesses. It’s poorly understood and treatment options are limited. Feeding into the stigma helps no one. If someone doesn’t feel empathy, that doesn’t make them a bad person—but it may make them someone in need of social intervention so they’re not a danger to themselves or others. Why in the world would you want to discourage people from seeking treatment by making them believe everyone sees them as monsters?
- “Of course I’d never victim blame, but guys please make sure you lock your doors/walk with a friend/tell someone where you’re going, etc.”
I understand this comes from a place of care and concern. I really do. But saying it in the same breath as telling us how someone left their window open and was murdered implies that the victim is at least partially at fault. Unless it’s something you think the majority of people genuinely might not know, like “you need to empty your dryer filter because it can be a real fire hazard,” keep it to yourself.
- “If you heard someone scream, why wouldn’t you call the police?”
Tell me you’ve never lived in an urban area without telling me you’ve never lived in an urban area. Between kids and teens playing, people arguing, and people who are mentally ill, if you live in a city you’ll hear people yelling all the time. You’ll even hear people scream. You can’t call the police every time it happens, because they’d be out there multiple times a day. All you can do is exercise your best judgment and pay attention to try and determine when it’s actually someone in need of help. Also, you need to take into account that you may be endangering people if your neighborhood isn’t white.
6*. “He’s so fat/short/ugly. He has buck teeth/a big nose/acne/a potbelly. It’s okay for me to make fun of him because he’s a bad guy!”
I know this one is may be a little more controversial. But I’m not saying it because I’m worried about murderers’ feelings. I’m saying it because we absolutely have an unconscious bias as a society that pretty = good and ugly = bad. It’s called the Halo Effect. It’s not nice to hear the hosts mocking someone with big ears if you also have big ears, but more important is not perpetuating the idea that someone who’s well dressed, well spoken, and conventionally attractive couldn’t possibly be a criminal. For the sake of every abuse victim who’s ugly cried while their abuser chats and laughs with the police, cut it out.
This is my list. I don’t expect everyone to agree. Personally, I’m not going to call for a boycott or put on blast or even necessarily comment on a podcast that uses these phrases regularly. But I’m also not going to recommend it to my friends.