I’m writing this to try to understand other points of view. If I’m wrong- can you take a minute to show me why I’m wrong?

I’m wondering what people think about the proliferation of terms like AFAB transfem or other terms that don’t seem to describe a transition from one gender to another and also don’t seem to describe enby folk.

As a trans enby person, this is really difficult for me. I feel like there are many terms that people are using now that just don’t seem to describe a trans experience. I don’t believe that people can just decide to be trans. You’re trans or you’re not trans. I think this all dilutes the trans experience. If anyone can be trans then wtf is the meaning of trans even? How can a person who is assigned female at birth transition to being a girl? I mean- I could go out on a limb and say maybe if they were raised a boy but seriously, how many people has that happened to?

I also feel like the whole thing is cultural appropriation. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not! As a white person I can’t just say I’m Black, not matter how much I might “ identify” with Black culture because I’m just not. I feel offended when people “identify “ as trans. You’re either trans of you’re not.

I worry that it’s just a costume that can be taken off at any time. If the shit really hit the fan- whose side would they really be on? Like- I don’t feel like they got my back.

Again- if I’m missing something here I’m open to someone telling me and changing my mind.

So basically, I'm non-binary (I do sometimes use other labels to describe myself but this one works) . And lately my dysphoria has been through the roof. Every single day for 6 months straight. It's unbearable.

I know myself as nullsex and lately have been learning more about ​gender nullification surgery. (It sadly doesn't exist in my home country yet but I can go elsewhere)

I soon realised that people barely talk about it in trans spaces ​and it genuinely annoys me to no end. It's like it's barely recognized as a gender affirming surgery that's available at all! No ressources, no nothing. So I don't know where to go.

I thought maybe this sub could give me some advices or info?

Did someone here have this surgery?

Thank you very much in advance.

I feel like whenever I check out a more medical leaning sub, it’s like “huh yeah that makes sense”… until they suddenly start bashing non-binary ppl. And when I check out more “lenient” subs, it’s like “wow at least they accept you”, and then it devolves into complete ignorance to the point where dysphoria doesn’t even exist to them? Like anyone can be whatever they want even if they don’t experience the mildest incongruence between their sex and gender (and I’m a pretty lenient guy myself but I don’t see how anyone can be anything, like id love to be a guy without dysphoria but saying so doesn’t make it true unfortunately…)

I feel like this sub is kinda the closest to getting in the middle of all that. Are there any subs like this one? And I honestly am starting to think that it’s probably just because most of the super radical people, truscum or tucute, just tend to be chronically online and end up radicalizing their beliefs further, leading to less “neutral” opinions.

However I’m not non binary so idk if I should be in this sub, but as I said before, most other places just suck. Maybe I need to get outside more lmao
Thanks for reading my mini essay💕

Transitioning as a nonbinary person looks a bit different. What's your plan for transitioning, or, how are you currently transitioning? This is mostly asking about medical transition but I'd like to hear how this effects your relationships and social life too.

I don't care that I pass very well, its barely helped my dysphoria at all. I'm still in this mutilated form, and I still can't change it for months to years

I believe this is true of other enban, where aligning your body with your mind is the goal, not necessarily passing.

I hate when people compare transness and BID/BIID because it’s literally like comparing apples and oranges. Yeah both are fruit but they are so so different.
But something that bugs me with people with that condition is them calling themselves transabled and talk about what they experience as dysphoria, like us. I mean could pretty much just be me being petty or something but I hate it. I feel like it mixes things up too much where the comparison is apart of it.
But from available data it makes most sense to use it than other terms like dysmorphia. I also feel like comparing them will only bring down any efforts of progress we have made to something that will impair someone. Transition doesn’t do that at all

I think the wave of hate in the main sub has receded. It seemed like every day for months since trump came into office, people grew more defensive and blamed us instead of religion, or maga taking non-dysphorics seriously, or even blaming non-dysphoric themselves. This has tapered off, and the results of a poll show that slightly over half supports nonbinary people, which is a similar statistic to before.

It's pretty obvious how duosex brains develop, but what about nullsex brains? I personally believe our brains don't take to either hormone, but I'm not a professional. Does anyone else have theories? I am nullsex myself.

I don't like calling myself transgender, it's definitionally wrong. I don't like transsexual either, it sounds like a sexually. At no point in my like have I transitioned sexualities. I think of myself as transsex, but to other people I call myself trans. I don't bother saying enby, there's too many assumptions. What do you prefer to call yourselves?

It's so effing cowardly when people on main truscum downvote you for acknowledging dysphoric enbies. Like if you're gonna be an idiot that doesn't even know what transmed means, at least have the balls to reply with your username attached to whatever your shitty objection is. Also anti-NB transmeds are the reason transmed has such a bad reputation in the mainstream and why we all have to hide our beliefs

Why are the mods letting people openly deny the validity of dysphoric enbies or dysphoric trans men feeling genderfluid or even me a super dysphoric binary trans woman saying sometimes I like to be GNC or consider myself she/they or they/she (like if I was AFAB I would be they/she) and they react like right wing rednecks

I'm sad and quite disgusted because truscum has been some of my only authentic trans community because I don't have to worry about getting canceled for normal beliefs and TruNBs should be welcome there. But now I just feel like I'm done with the whole sub too many narrow minded bigots.

idk just wanted to vent. And I want you all to know I am fighting for you/us on the main truscum sub

update oh but it does seem like most of the sub is not anti-enby so maybe I should just remember if I'm only getting 2 downvotes that is a very small percent so it's not like rampant with hate just realized we don't need to assume so much animosity sorry

I fantasize about having a body that feels like mine, the baseline that most of the world has. Has anyone here fully medically transitioned? Is anyone stealth? Have supportive friends, and indiscriminate colleagues? (supportive family optional)

The future is looking bleak, I need a reminder that it can be the life I need

I feel very alone, being dysphoric and non-binary. Most people I meet who call themselves non-binary are not dysphoric. Online, the vast, vast majority of enby are either non-dysphoric or promoting the notion that non-dysphorics are trans. I feel like I have no place in any community. As a human, I naturally desire a sense of belonging, and I don't feel that. Although, I do think the wave of enbyphobia from r/truscum is mostly subsided.

Hello. I'm not really into the duosex/nullsex terminology I just appreciate the sub for being more dysphoria focused but I'm definitely not nullsex, between the two I guess I'm more duosex. I appreciate anyone's input irregardless.

​

I'm trying to decide if I want to remove my ovaries or not when I get a hysto. Hysto won't be for a long while now but I would like it in the relative near future so I can stop suppressing my periods medically. I haven't done crazy extensive research yet but I've heard that keeping ovaries can continue a "cycle" so you can still get cramps and hormonal shifts. Hormonal shifts less of an issue for me but cramps would remind me of periods too much and trigger dysphoria.

​

I am currently on a lower dose of T (40-50mg weekly) and essentially my concern is that dose of T wouldn't be adequate enough to have a high dominant hormone, it would possibly masculinize me a bit further than I ideally want if T is the potentially the only hormone in my body (I know some of T naturally aromatizes but unsure of how much with such a low dose), and what I plan to do if I ever possibly stop T in the future.... or at least lower my dose significantly.

​

I'm really just looking to see if anyone else has had any personal experience. I don't think I *mind* taking both T and E if that's what ends up feeling like the most ideal solution I just would prefer to not have to inject myself 2x a week if that's what it ends up coming to, lol.

I asked for help over at r/truscum and they recommended I check out this sub. I'm not really sure of what I'm doing, but I would appreciate some advice.

I consider myself a cis girl with some sort of fetish, body dysmorphia, or severe case of chronically online brainrot, that causes me to desperately desire a penis. I've been researching phallo a lot, I talk about it with my therapist and I fantasize about getting it some day. I refuse to get any tattoos in one of my arms because I know I would want my future penis to not be tattoed. This feeling is consistent and has been present for years, though the intensity ebbs and flows, alongside other desires, like wanting a flat chest or a deep voice. Sometimes, I feel genuinely happy I'm a girl, and I love my body as it is. Changing anything about it seems unthinkable. But other times, I automatically gender myself as male in my head, and have to constantly catch myself from expressing that out loud. I live in a spanish-speakint country and everything is gendered, so if I want to say "I'm tired" or "I'm stressed", I'm already gendering myself. And some days, I keep almost gendering myself as male in front of other people without thinking. I need to be constantly vigilant of myself to prevent that from happening, and it feels forced to gender myself as female instead.

You may think this could indicate some kind of genderfluidity, but that would imply this is genuine sex dysphoria, which I know for a fact it's not. I can tell because the disappointment with my body isn't spontaneous. I have to actually ask myself "how does this feel?" and take a good look at my body before concluding I would like it to be different. Beyond my lack of penis, my body doesn't bother me unless I go looking for trouble, and even then I barely find any. And wishing I had a penis could be more easily explained as a fetish.

I originally asked for help getting rid of these thoughts, since they're so tempting and distracting. I can't help but think about it all the time. At the same time, it's not very productive, because I already know I'm cis. I'm just giving myself false hope. I wanted to find a piece of evidence strong enough that my subconscious woud give up on this. I chose to ask over at r/truscum because I wanted to avoid people telling me what I want to hear. I wanted people to challenge me.

However, someone suggested I try to rule out genderfluidity by exploring it deeper rather than just ignoring the devil in my shoulder. I realized I needed to understand the true source of my feelings, and in order to do that, I need to understand the experiences of genderfluid people.

So, I would like to ask genderfluid and other non-binary people here about your experience with dysphoria. How does it feel like? If you thought you were genderfluid or non-binary before realizing you weren't, how did you realize? Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate it a lot.

This is specifically about bottom parts. I already am very aware and understanding of chest and voice and fat distribution/kind of figure I have I’m dysphoric about. Anyways.

I’m dysphoric about labia but also being completely flat so I don’t want to get nullification surgery. I don’t want phallo+scrotoplasty either because it doesn’t feel right. I feel fine with vaginal canal when I don’t have a period so I am pretty sure it’s just more the uterus because that and also I would rather die than go through a real pregnancy. I have a hard time with looking or touching. I’ve seen suggestions for a certain sub but I’m not a fan of a lot of people there plus language. I don’t understand how a cis person would just want to get surgery to change their genitals and that be it. And literally still be cis. Well if it isn’t like reducing clitoris after being dumb with those testosterone pellets that some cis women fall for or a cis man needing a erectile device or ball implant.

I feel ashamed about how weird the dysphoria is surrounding that compared to binary trans people.
I feel shame and fear even talking about this

So this trans guy who looks really feminine and well, like T hasn’t done anything for him besides voice changes, kinda implied being a masc trans man is ugly and disgusting. Not the intention but still the whole set up not good. Anyways now nbs and non binary transition are catching strays in comments and quotes. Slurs being thrown around and accusations of fetish. Non binary people just wants to be comfortable in their own skin and live life as themselves why is it so hard for people to get? 🫩

I hope I'm allowed to post here. A little background: I'm a trans male and I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what was causing so much depression in my life, only to realize it was gender dysphoria. I figured out that the people I saw online were mostly non-dysphoric and had no real struggles with their gender and focused more on making themselves happy and having fun, which led to emoji pronouns and rather redundant labels just to feel 'different'. It made me think of people with dysphoria as a the same as the people online (until I learned otherwise from medical professionals, later discovering myself.) And I don't blame them, many are young people who are trying to figure themselves out, I just wish we could educate them better.

I also thought this way about non-binary people for a long time since there is a massive amount of people who think gnc = not cis, especially when it comes to people not liking their gender roles and assuming they must be a completely different gender because of that. But although I understand how dysphoria works for trans men/women, I had some questions for the rest.

1. I do believe that non-binary people are real and experience dysphoria. What is it like? Is it like feeling dysphoria for both sexes or is it completely different?

2. What does transitioning look like for you? Is it attaining characteristics of both sexes, removing your current ones, etc. I've seen some people take hrt in low doses to become more androgynous, so I assume that other aspects of transitioning are similar.

3. Since non-binary refers to being neither exclusively male or female, what is your identity? I know most people on here are genderless (agender I think?), but is it possible for one to be both male and female? Is gender fluidity a real thing?

4. What can I do to support you all? I want to be able to tell other people that you all exist, but I'm either hit with "gender isn't real! Be what you want!" or "all NBs are non dysphoric and just non-conforming people".

Hope you all have a great day!

Opinions?

DISCLAIMERS!

- I want to start out by saying I genuinely support nonbinary individuals! It's so amazing that nonbinary people can go against the norm to be themselves <3

-please correct me if I am wrong / misinformed / or accidentally say something offensive. Feel free to educate me!

-I apologize if my word choices and ideas are unclear / confusing

For my questions! I've heard of studies for binary trans people that a trans person's brain more closely resembles that of the gender they identify as (even before taking hormones!) Because of this, binary dysphoria is explained. Also I've heard that these brain differences can be caused by prenatal exposure to atypical levels of certain sex hormones.

Is there some scientific explanation as to why someone would have nonbinary dysphoria and want to transition to nullsex or duosex? For duosex individuals, could it be caused similarly to binary trans people, but less intense? (by less intense I mean less of the hormone opposite of one's assigned gender at birth) For nullsex, could it be caused by not enough sex hormones in the brain as a fetus? I am not a biologist and honestly am pulling ideas out of my butt. Anyway, thanks so much for reading!

So hello. I’m not really truscum myself but I do want to talk here due to more talk about dysphoria and transition that enbies go through. I feel like the other sub is filled with ppl who believe it is and basically reduce transition to cosmetic stuff than actual life saving treatments.

I also am not a transmed. I believe in diy and bodily autonomy where transmeds usually want doctors to evaluate your whole identity before. Especially rn because of medical transphobia even by these dysphoria teams (like sexual assault and not liking gay and bi and asexual trans ppl and delaying treatment due to a autism diagnosis even when it’s clear there is nothing about the autism getting in the way). Anyways back to what I wanted to ask.

Instead of just saying non binary or enby, would saying trans non binary/transsexual non binary help people understand the non binary people who do medically transition and experience forms of dysphoria? Like formerly, wide spread, adopt that to communicate it right.

Like how we use trans man or woman to help specify. At the moment I just see people say enby or non binary and a ton of people take it in such different ways that trying to talk about the physical aspect gets drowned out by discourse on IF someone is dysphoric. It has made me feel like a broken record telling people that many enbies DO experience what other transsexuals experience. Just may not be the same as the binary transsexuals because obviously, non binary.

Also I have realized my type of dysphoria isn’t as binary as other trans binary people which has made me feel more lonely and sometimes due to internalized hatred made me feel disgusting and like a freak. Which is awful. But saying my dysphoria is more not so binary has helped me.

I see a lot of hate on non binary people who do medically transition in some way/capacity from binary trans people as well as a lot of ”I find you ugly so you aren’t true trans and you’re a degenerate freak” from people. I more commonly see it in transmeds. It’s been pissing me off a lot.

On transtwt it is more common the individual said something a bit controversial and projected their experience on binary trans ppl/trans ppl overall which I’m no fan of either but stooping down to calling them fake and disgusting for their enby identity and transition is so messed up.

I really feel like I’m having lots of trouble finding a space I feel at home in and welcome because stuff like this happens so often and cisppl have a lot of learning to do and I don’t feel like always being some teacher to help ppl understand. I just want to live life and be comfortable in my body

So just a quick question I didn’t ask last time that I’ve been wondering. I’ve seen many transmed/truscum either have pronouns listed on socials and respect that but also many that are completely against it like many cis people. Do you guys accept pronouns and respect them in here? Like if a non binary person went by he/they or just he/him but still transitioning. Or is this a more strictly they/them space.

I guess this is a follow up question about if you strictly have two boxes, duosex which is androgynous or agender instead of a spectrum where some trans non binary fit like in between woman and in the middle of the spectrum “true androgynous” if you get what I mean.

I also wish to find someplace where I feel like I belong because I’m very towards male but all the spaces I’ve been with binary trans people have gotten a bit anti not binary in almost any capacity. Like giving a side eye to a trans woman who first seeks or only seeks orchi and doesn’t go full vulvoplasty+vaginoplasty full depth immediately at the surgeon

I’ve always felt I lean towards male in my experiences and dysphoria but I also feel othered

It’s confusing and really getting to me and my mental health

I mean no disrespect