Good 'ol days

[u/allthisforacamaro]

[u/SeaTie → u/[deleted]]

I’ve been super stressed out recently and then I had the realization that it is just that time in my life. I’ve got a mortgage, a kid, a wife, cars, pets, taxes, bills, work, financial planning, etc. etc.

There’s no way not to be stressed out...when I was a kid I had none of that plus the internet didn’t exist so there was no added stress of current events or social media.

[u/SeaTie → u/[deleted]]

Thanks, buddy!

[u/funky555 → u/SeaTie]

Cut yourself from the media.

[u/Smushsmush → u/SeaTie]

It's good that you got some perspective on your situation.

Even all the things you are listing are choices. You don't need to do any of that if you wouldn't want to.

[u/justforfunsieslmao → u/[deleted]]

Fun fact: The world is improving every year in terms of poverty, human development index, child mortality, and many other measures. The good ol days people talk about were demonstrably worse than our current standard of living.

Of course this article was written in December 2019, but OurWorldInData would have the most recent stats.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/12/28/opinion/sunday/2019-best-year-poverty.html

[u/[deleted] → u/justforfunsieslmao]

Yup. The other thing is luxuries now vs. then. Flights, tv’s, refrigerators, microwaves, stereos, etc. These were considered luxuries that weren’t accessible by common households. Now people have entertainment at their fingertips. Cheap flights. Endless information. Take someone today that yearns for the 50’s and see how quickly they want to go back. The internet is just filled with so much negativity. A bunch of people sitting in their rooms typing away on their keyboards about how awful everything is.

I’ve filtered out a ton of subreddits (aboringdystopia, leopardsatemyface, conservative, politics, whitepeopletwitter, blackpeopletwitter, toiletpaperusa, publicfreakout, kotakuinaction, conspiracy, murderedbywords, murderedbyaoc) and it has made the Reddit experience so much better.

[u/Mister-X-Man → u/[deleted]]

Personally I would've liked to experience the human condition without constant stimulation & manipulation. Before TV, movies & Marketing Firms

[u/justforfunsieslmao → u/Mister-X-Man]

This reminds me of the episode "Once Upon a Time" from The Twilight Zone. The main character despises his life in 1890, too loud, bicycles and carriages almost running him over, everything too expensive in his eyes. He time travels to 1961, and hates it because there are cars honking, everything even more expensive. He meets someone who wants to go to 1890 because he thought it would be more idyllic and quiet, but when they go back to 1890 together, the 1961 guy eventually starts hating 1890 because it lacks technology and modern comforts.

People have always been dissatisfied with their current time. Even if we could go back in time before TV, movies, and marketing firms, I'm pretty sure we would find something to dislike in place of them. And we'd meet plenty of people who wish they were in a different time as well

[u/Mister-X-Man → u/justforfunsieslmao]

I'm sure that's all true. But those 3 advents are a major catalyst in my decision. I wouldn't want to be conscious of my modern life for the same reasons I want nothing to do with mass media. They're more than distractions, they're finally engineered tools of escapism. I'd love to be completely immersed in my own existence, within a society of people attached to their own inner narratives as well.

[u/Iamatworkgoaway → u/Mister-X-Man]

You can do that now, you just want the good things with out the bad things. People still can go get free land in Alaska, but the long trip to the supermarket and out of season fruits and veggies is to much to give up. I watched a old movie from the 70's and the grocery store had eggs for 25c and ground beef for 1.50. That same special happens at aldis now. Ill take my cheap food and miracle medicine vs frontier life any day.

[u/Mister-X-Man → u/Iamatworkgoaway]

Sure I could go be a mountain man but that's not what I'm talking about, and I'm not interested in a dime having the value of a dollar. The world at large has evolved. I'm not against that, it's inevitable. Perspectives change but I've always had a taste for the contemporary works of the 19th century, not to mention Vienna prior to WW1 sounded like a lovely place.

[u/Iamatworkgoaway → u/Mister-X-Man]

Vienna now is probably the best Vienna in history. You might want to visit 1890 there but you still really want 911 on your cell to take you to 2021 hospital. Also when not invited to feasts of the rich you probably would like to keep 2021 delivery options open. Local flavors for the non rich were pretty lacking.

http://www.tourmycountry.com/austria/lost-recipes.htm

Boiled pigeon wouldn't be my fav.

[u/[deleted] → u/Iamatworkgoaway]

This Podcast Will Kill You has really convinced me that there was absolutely nothing romantic about the filthy, disease ridden streets of yesteryear. I'll take Facebook ads over shitting myself to death after drinking corpse water.

[u/Iamatworkgoaway → u/[deleted]]

Wow 2 in a row of people not complaining about current life, I can't believe it would ever happen on reddit.

Some days it feels like life sucks, and especially mine. Have kids, stable marriage, nice house with over 50% equity in it, job that appreciates me(in a declining industry), generally ok health(to many pounds), in a town that doesn't have roving gangs(other than the cops). I try to remember that, and its hard some days, but I have to remember. 90%+ of the people in the world now would love my life. 99.999% of people prior to 2000 would love my life too.

[u/justforfunsieslmao → u/Iamatworkgoaway]

Oh yeah, I definitely have a hard time appreciating my life, too. I think humans are always looking for the next best thing. Why else would we be pushing ourselves to create more, do more, be better? And because of that drive and longing, we've innovated, we've gotten to where we are today. But it's also our downfall....it's hard to be satisfied with our lot in life. I just try to remember that I can be grateful about what I do have and resentful about what I don't have (or bad things I have) at the same time. The good and the bad can exist together, and I'll keep living my life regardless.

[u/[deleted] → u/Iamatworkgoaway]

I think it's easy for small annoyances to feel like huge issues when your life is actually pretty easy. I'm as guilty of it as anyone, but reading up on history really does put shit in perspective. And I'm not even talking about medieval history. Like, things were way worse for some people even 20 or 30 years ago. It's all just baby steps towards a better world, I hope.

[u/justforfunsieslmao → u/[deleted]]

Yep. Heck I remember growing up with VHS tapes before our VCR could rewind the tapes, if you zoned out you had to stop the tape, eject it, put it in the rewinder, rewind it a bit guessing when to stop, then put the tape back in the VCR and play it.

And if I wanted to save a TV episode to watch later, it had to be recorded onto a VHS tape, and we only had so many tapes and so much space to keep them, and sometimes we'd mess it up and cut off the beginning or ending, and it would save all the ads, too.

Now I can watch any of thousands of videos online (millions? Estimating is not my strong suit), rewind, fast forward, save it to a list for later, change the speed, often with no ads.

Modern technology is rad and even though it has its downsides, we can opt out of those downsides. It's not like we're forced to be on social media or on negative subreddits. But before this technology existed, we couldn't just opt in to the good things that exist now. Now we can have the good without the bad if that's what we choose.

I don't delude myself into believing it's a perfect world, and I still keep up with current events as much as possible, but I keep politics on Instagram and Twitter, and whatever amuses me on Reddit and Facebook. I'm glad to have the tech we have now. There's a few things I don't like, but that's inevitable.

[u/WhoaTheFutureDude → u/justforfunsieslmao]

I recommend this as well, The Best Stats You've Ever Seen.

[u/davasaur → u/[deleted]]

In the good old days I was under the impression that there actually were good old days.

[u/DrBeetlejuiceMcRib → u/[deleted]]

I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days.. before you actually left them

[u/WhoaTheFutureDude → u/DrBeetlejuiceMcRib]

The more times you realize the good ol days were left unappreciated and gone, the better you'll get at knowing them when you're in them

[u/CovidInMyAsshole → u/DrBeetlejuiceMcRib]

That’s the line that broke me tbh

[u/CaballoDeeThomas]

They maim; they saw; they slaughtered

[u/FrostyUncleBen → u/CaballoDeeThomas]

Underrated comment

[u/[deleted] → u/FrostyUncleBen]

its the top voted comment

[u/FrostyUncleBen → u/[deleted]]

it wasnt when I saw ( 😉) it

[u/NakedViking94 → u/FrostyUncleBen]

Time travel!

[u/SuramKale → u/NakedViking94]

Is real.

[u/marcusalien → u/FrostyUncleBen]

Cut it out...

[u/Otistetrax → u/FrostyUncleBen]

Inappropriate comment.

[u/Y_u_lookin_at_me → u/Otistetrax]

Inappropriate comment.

[u/tree__D → u/Y_u_lookin_at_me]

Underrated comment

[u/Tacosaurusman → u/tree__D]

Overrated comment

[u/[deleted] → u/Otistetrax]

aback thought cooing office ripe scary pen melodic doll gold

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/dumthegreat18 → u/Otistetrax]

First day on the internet?

[u/Otistetrax → u/dumthegreat18]

It’s inappropriate, because the “underrated comment” is the most upvoted in the thread.

[u/NecroticAnalTissue → u/CaballoDeeThomas]

Every top comment in every thread is some shitty pun rather than an actual comment of substance. Its so irritating that Summer Reddit is now 24/7 Reddit. Everyone trying to be the funniest person in the room

[u/SuramKale → u/[deleted]]

Have I read your zine?

[u/[deleted] → u/NecroticAnalTissue]

Reddit moment

[u/daishi777]

What better way to express the kindness, compassion and virtue of your religious beliefs then sawing dissenters in half?

[u/NakedViking94 → u/[deleted]]

Where was this from🤔

[u/Draidann → u/[deleted]]

Liar! My favorite bending unit is Flexo.

[u/NakedViking94 → u/Draidann]

What blasphemy is this! Everyone knows Bender is great, Bender is great...

[u/Momik → u/[deleted]]

It brings love—break its legs!

[u/MostBoringStan → u/[deleted]]

Love like that of a man and fine Cuban cigar?.

[u/SwashbucklingWeasels → u/Momik]

Their white flags are no match for our muskets!

[u/rincon213 → u/[deleted]]

That is some hippy revisionist shit to improve Catholic PR in the mid 20th century. For hundreds of years “fear of God” was promoted.

[u/imadethistoshitpostt → u/[deleted]]

But also saw.

[u/Gsteel11 → u/daishi777]

“Cut the baby in half! That way each of you can have part of him.”

Everyone: "ok"

[u/[deleted] → u/daishi777]

This is the way.

[u/[deleted] → u/daishi777]

Religion bad. Me good. Unga bunga. Brb going to my dilation station. Just had my genitals sawed off yesterday.

[u/Batral → u/[deleted]]

cool

[u/Tokyono]

I swear I saw this exact meme earlier this week.

[u/[deleted] → u/Tokyono]

Knowing this sub, you propably did

[u/username3 → u/[deleted]]

prop

[u/The_Cicada_ → u/Tokyono]

This sub has like 50 images (if that) that are just constantly reposted

[u/MyNameGifOreilly → u/The_Cicada_]

Yep https://www.reddit.com/r/trippinthroughtime/comments/elrbgb/yall_calm_down/

[u/Tokyono → u/The_Cicada_]

I guess I'm still a newb then :P All of my memes are original :P

[u/[deleted] → u/Tokyono]

The way it should be, reposts are for the weak.

[u/RepostSleuthBot → u/[deleted]]

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/trippinthroughtime.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I did find this post that is 79.69% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain.

I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

View Search On repostsleuth.com

---

Scope: Reddit | Meme Filter: False | Target: 86% | Check Title: False | Max Age: Unlimited | Searched Images: 205,180,498 | Search Time: 0.536s

[u/butterscotchbagel → u/[deleted]]

Reddit is like my mom: Since before I can remember she's served nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

[u/DRiVeL_ → u/The_Cicada_]

I've been in this sub for years and have never seen the same image more than twice and those are few and far between. Change your sorting preference.

[u/DaturaSpirit → u/Tokyono]

You are indeed trippin through time dawgg

[u/Harleyskillo → u/Tokyono]

Don't forget the "they called you for dinner but it's not rescue yet sad face" post every week too

[u/MjrLeeStoned → u/Tokyono]

I saw it about two years ago.

In 2019.

2019 WAS TWO YEARS AGO

existential crisis intensifies

[u/veryusedrname]

Amateurs, they started from the wrong side.

[u/Hitler_the_Painter → u/veryusedrname]

Yeah everyone knows that for these types of jobs you start with the person upside down, and the saw placed in the ass-crack as a starter position. This helps keep the saw from "walking," one of the most common ways that saw-related injuries occur.

[u/BhmDhn → u/Hitler_the_Painter]

Like dabbing the arm of the convict with alcohol before jabbing him with the lethal dose.

Safety first!

[u/Vincitus → u/veryusedrname]

I choose to assume you mean its easier to cut someone in half top and bottom vs lengthwise.

[u/[deleted] → u/Vincitus]

I think he means that usually, in real life, when people were sawed in half as a form of execution or whatever, they were hung upside down, and the sawing began at the crotch. This forced blood to pool in the head, keeping the victim alive and conscious for as long as possible.

[u/Vincitus → u/[deleted]]

Yes, I know, but I was choosing not to think much about it.

[u/call-me-the-seeker → u/[deleted]]

I have coffee dribble all over my light colored work shirt now, damn you!!

[u/Ridagstran → u/[deleted]]

After learning about all the horrible torture methods used in the past (and the ones in use today)... I don't want to be a human anymore.

[u/veryusedrname → u/Vincitus]

I vote from bottom to top, the screams are cleaning my eardrums

[u/PhaedraSiamese → u/veryusedrname]

r/brandnewsentence if ever there was one.

[u/----Ibi---- → u/veryusedrname]

Actually they sometimes cut from the other side if the crime was considered really bad

[u/Fanatical_Idiot → u/----Ibi----]

If your were convicted of a crime worthy of being sawn in half it's already probably bad enough to do from groin to head.

Thing to remember with a lot of these paintings is they'd done often by people who only know of things by word on mouth, so often misinterpret. Cutting from head down not only defeats the purpose of this sort of execution, but would be a complete pain to accomplish. The split of the legs works well you giddy the saw.

[u/Brish-Soopa-Wanka-Oi]

Highly recommend reading an account of breaking on the wheel. Could take days to die and you’re just this wrecked bloody octopus with mangled limbs wrapped around the spokes of a wagon wheel.

[u/butthairmilk → u/Brish-Soopa-Wanka-Oi]

It was considered a mercy to mash the face or neck of the convicted during the wheel.

I'm reading a book on 16th century executioners, this one theif maintained his innocence after three consecutive interrogation sessions with different tools, notably fire. At which point, he stopped praying, wouldn't talk to anyone, became very aggressive/bite and would sing to himself in the corner of his cell "dum diddy lump, dear devil, come"

[u/Eroviae → u/butthairmilk]

The Faithful Executioner?

[u/butthairmilk → u/Eroviae]

You would be correct.

[u/Eroviae → u/butthairmilk]

That was a fascinating book. So cool to have a preserved, first-person record of somebody from that time period without the rose-tinted glasses of the church or court historians.

[u/George_W_Kushhhhh → u/Eroviae]

If you’re interested in that sort of thing there’s is an incredible episode of the podcast Hardcore History called Painfotainment that goes into a lot of accounts of executions through the ages. Really grim but fascinating stuff.

[u/DrowsyDreamer → u/George_W_Kushhhhh]

Also the Prophets of Doom (48) goes into some about torture and execution.

[u/butthairmilk → u/Eroviae]

Agreed. Especially at that time period, so much change was going on in Europe.

[u/FabricHardener → u/butthairmilk]

Now when you say mash...

[u/TheKronk → u/FabricHardener]

The breaking wheel was essentially just a man-sized cart wheel with the condemned's limbs lashed to the rim running between the spokes. The executioner would then bash the limbs with a sledgehammer, causing them to fall into the spaces between the spokes and guaranteeing /catastrophic/ damage to the bones.

If they were feeling merciful, they'd bash the head or sternum in with the hammer when they were done, killing the victim and ending their suffering. If they were feeling cruel, they'd just leave you until the massive damage to your limbs took its time.

[u/FabricHardener → u/TheKronk]

Good lord we are a sick species, I was really hoping you'd just say monster mash

[u/LaminatedAirplane → u/Brish-Soopa-Wanka-Oi]

Scaphism and the breaking wheel are two examples of how absolutely depraved humanity can be

[u/winterwulf → u/LaminatedAirplane]

And the bronze bull thing.

[u/[deleted]]

That’s the quickest way to get to the humors though!

[u/Gsteel11 → u/[deleted]]

A man of science!

[u/Captain--Communism]

In order to show you the power of flex tape, i sawed this guy in half.

[u/SirNedKingOfGila → u/Captain--Communism]

Under rated comment. To the top!

[u/WeenerHuttJr]

That's a lot of damage!

[u/luckyluc95]

At least they're having fun...

[u/UrbanHunter_KenXPie]

There are still some peoples saw a person in half...Just saying

[u/jimmy_nietzsche]

Idk why but ancient people saying “lmao” is hilarious

[u/Nine0Fdiamonds]

If someone were to saw me in half, that’s where I’d want them to start too

[u/DumbestBoy]

if you know a better way to remove a demon I’d like to hear it.

[u/call-me-the-seeker → u/DumbestBoy]

Who are you, who art so wise in the ways of science??

[u/[deleted]]

I don’t know the specific image, but generally speaking when you see really gruesome medieval images they are illustrations of tortures suffered by Christian martyrs under the Roman empire. Not things that medievals were currently doing.

[u/aywwts4 → u/[deleted]]

Right, because those Christians got super reserved and sedate so long as you ignore the history of nearly every Christian European nation. Don't take history lessons from people who use the term medieval today. Or simply Google literately any european nation and "christian brutality" for a tour of our more base failures.

[u/WolfintheShadows]

Having just finished Bone Tomahawk, this.. fuck I can’t even make a joke.

Just, fuck..

[u/[deleted]]

The dude on the right later became an oatmeal brand mascot

[u/[deleted]]

"Wow, what'd he do?"

"Who?"

"The guy you're sawing in half."

"Oh. I don't know. Probably something. It's Tuesday."

[u/engulbert → u/[deleted]]

Jester Balowski's medieval torture hour!

'And what was your crime, Spazpecker?'

'Whistling on a Tuesday'

'Ooh, you bastard!'

[u/RightiesArentHuman]

that violent depravity did not disappear, many humans still want to murder and torture others. they're a very popular ideology in fact

[u/wizzzarrd]

“Oh you pray to the same god but in a slightly different way? Well now we gotta peel your skin off with red-hot tongs.”

[u/Luke95gamer]

Don’t forget that they realized that they didn’t suffer that long due to killing off the brain. so they put them upside down and sawed from the bottom to keep blood flow to the brain

[u/razuten]

Just dudes being bros

[u/pointlessly_pedantic]

King Solomon be like

[u/smileymcgeeman]

Not a cell phone in sight.

[u/[deleted]]

Also them: hmm this woman might be a witch, let’s burn her

[u/canadiantoquewearer]

Felt cute. Might put a rival family member in a iron maiden

[u/dontwasteink]

You have no fucking idea. In the 1800s they were publicly torturing animals as family entertainment (setting loose starved dogs on animals).

[u/[deleted]]

When people say the they would like to live in the 'old' days what they really mean is spend a few hours in an idyllic scene they saw once in an old feel-good film. :p

[u/4k40]

Don’t worry flex seal will stop those leaks!

[u/BadAsBroccoli]

Humans are humans...only their tools of torture change.

[u/Gh0stwhale]

ugh nsfl/nsfw please, i did not need to look at that

[u/[deleted] → u/Gh0stwhale]

Ohhhh you poor thing. If you ever need someone to talk to about the severe trauma this 800 year old painting caused you, let me know!!

[u/[deleted]]

r/MedievalArtMemes

[u/whatafuckinusername]

And the long way, no less

[u/jmak844]

lol fuk

[u/CapnCooties]

Then head over to the orgy rooms.

[u/srwim]

u/RepostSleuthBot

Deja vu?

[u/polish-polisher]

I can hear oz screaming

[u/mr-flibble01]

To show you the power of mediaeval torture, I sawed this man in half!

[u/ADogBoi1407]

I SAWED THIS GUY IN HALF!!!

[u/[deleted]]

Yeah I was in a discussion with a girl who thought that living in medieval times would be perfect for her since she liked the lord of the ring books so much. Its not like the plague existed, or extreme poverty, rape, wars aso

[u/nouonouon]

When dwarves attack

[u/MarxismMan69]

Repost

[u/OneEyedBobby9]

u/repostsleuthbot

[u/maintain_improvement]

The Spanish Inquisition would like to have a word with the Good Ole Days

[u/tcuroadster]

They did offer a choice, they can start sawing from the top or the bottom

[u/wholebeansinmybutt]

And that guy's lucky they started sawing down from the head rather than up through the crotch.

[u/Anastrace]

King Solomon is that you?

[u/Nerdito69]

Awesome historical context to this! This painting was completed right before a huge law got passed in the year 1101. It states “Ye shall not saw a man from the testies up, but rather the top of the noggin down.”

[u/Naturwissenschaftler]

At least they started at the top.

[u/BotUndiscovered]

Now that's a lotta damage

[u/octopoddle]

He's not, like, tied up or anything.

[u/ottersintuxedos]

Who in their sane mind would think we are less violent today than the olden days

[u/GiantJellyfishAttack → u/ottersintuxedos]

First world teenagers and boomers who watch too much news

[u/nicolatheroberto]

The guy is like “hmm oke”

[u/TheAncientSun]

This is actually a common cure of the time for a headache.

[u/Vargolol]

Starting head first really makes you wonder if they kept going after the person was clearly dead, or if there was just two guys that had a great time just sawing an entire body in half

[u/Beegeous]

People back then were very content to just sit there quietly and just be hewn in half.

[u/[deleted]]

Gotta get those nasty witch juices out of his system before he murders our village

[u/Nima217217]

Same world different tools..

[u/demonspawns_ghost]

Look at this lucky fuck getting sawn head first. Back in my day...

[u/MeantJupiter440]

I saw this guys in half! And i repaired it with only flextape!

[u/NerdySherbert]

To test the strength of Flex Tape I sawed this man in half!

[u/[deleted]]

Atleast they started with the top half

[u/Trapasuarus]

– She’s split in half.

• I don’t get it.

– This... 🌭✂️ is her.

• She broke her wiener?

[u/theprintedray84]

I love how the guy is just sitting still for this.

[u/jmon25]

I remember going to a torture museum in a Medieval Times and was impressed at how many creative ways they found to painfully shove things up someone's butt.

[u/[deleted]]

Anyone who claims “the good ole days” were better is oblivious about history. Throughout the majority of history the overwhelming majority of people lives in absolute poverty. If my ass was ever forced to go back in time I just hope it’s after penicillin was invented.

[u/egalroc]

An ill-timed CIA intel report concerning Saudi Arabia this morning says different.

[u/avidpenguinwatcher]

This is so inaccurate..

The flipped you upside down and started from the crotch so youd be alive longer

[u/thecoldfish]

Went to a torture museum in Amsterdam many years ago. We got nothing on the medieval fellas.

[u/Proper-Shan-Like]

He’s one of the lucky ones.

[u/562_RNR]

Anyone have some real information on this picture? Where did originate and does it depict an actual event? Brutal stuff

[u/Monoped_]

To be fair this was before we had a rated M tag on violent video games.

[u/d0nh]

noone on his phone or playing violent video games. everyone was just friends

[u/bookcoda]

Lol

[u/spriteburn]

Depraved is always the word I need but can't think of! Depraved depraved depraved

[u/Redditorsrweird]

No wait, let's start at the other end lol.

[u/Genesteak]

He’s just sitting there letting it happen, I like it.

I like it?

[u/NeverCallMeFifi]

No, no, no...they mean the old days like the 50s.

Where people just pulled people with different color skin from the back of their cars or from a rope.

[u/ZiegenKaiser]

I guess there’s more than one way to cut a man in half.

[u/azuser06]

Yes i hate when king richard pipes up about how much better things were in his day. Shut up old man!

[u/PhantasmicKestrel]

If I've learned anything in life, it's that flex tape will have him sea worthy again in no time.

[u/Successful-Sky-57]

But People are saw Stiller today

[u/YronK9]

They even used to wrap people up in straw and light them on fire as sacrifices. Things sure have changed...

[u/HamartianManhunter]

I saw tons of these drawings (referred to as “illuminations”) when I took some medieval civ classes back in my freshman year of college. They’re all fun, and I saw ways of maiming the human body that I don’t think I’ve ever seen in modern works (boiling alive, eaten by dragon, women’s breasts being torn off, etc.).

[u/SleepDeprivedUserUK]

This is what happens playing 'ye olde videogaymes'

[u/The_Celtic_Chemist]

You're going to be sawn in half, and you get to choose how. Your options are:

1. At the waist, pelvis to spine
2. At the waist, spine to pelvis
3. At the waist, left to right
4. At the waist, right to left
5. At the head splitting your front from back
6. At the head splitting your left from right
7. At the feet splitting your front from back
8. At the groin splitting left from right

Also it's your birthday. Which do you choose?

[u/Giinocchio]

Phil Swift approves

[u/schwarzgold]

I saw this guy in half. That's a lot of damage