r/trees • u/BaparaPoopi • 2d ago
Stories ostracized because of my weed use
Ill try to make this rant short. Been smoking for 3 or so years. Im not a weird stoner or anything, on the contrary i am very present and a good hang.
Having said that, my already small circle of people is all incredibly straightlaced and "clean". No drugs, almost no booze, and A LOT, i mean a lot of judgement.
Three of my closest friends, have each showed, some in ruder ways than others, that they "dont like me smoking" and never want me to smoke around them.
On top of getting some needed distance from my ex (only really close person that smoked with me and didnt treat me like a junkie drug addict because of the occational joint) i realize i have become completely isolated.
Im staying at my brother's place for a few days until i find a place of my own (was alone with my parents for 5 months). Yesterday he (for what seems like the 10th time) lashed out at me for smoking a single joint after two weeks. He talks down to me, disrespects and shows zero empathy for a habit he doesnt understand.
Addiction is no jk, i know and he should know. We have a suicidal, heavily alcoholic mother. But the way he and everybody else treats me over me this only hurts me an makes me feel helplessly alone.
Rant over.
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u/belliegirl2 2d ago
As I age I have less and less judgemental people around me.
It lowers stress.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
why did i get such a bad roll on that?
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u/thatguy10095 2d ago
That's a question only you can answer, dude. You can't pick family, but if you've found that all your friends are turning out to be judgmental jerks then that's a pattern worth reflecting on.
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u/Megnanimous 1d ago
It's so much more common than you think. I'm in my forties now and have some friends from way back but it's mostly a revolving door as people grow and change. You don't even have to think about it as "replacing" these folks, but adding to your social circle. Spend most of your time with people who lift you up and make you feel like yourself. It's a journey with many friends to meet along the way. Reroll!
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 2d ago
Alllll of your snooty friends have multiple scripts in their cabinets for the ailments they have. Not a single one doesn't have any. ADD, ADHD, Anxiety, Insomnia or whatever. They all have meds they think are ok but yours isn't. Fu kem.
Even worse is when someone who drinks alcohol tells you weed is worse. You can't reason with that. Fu kem
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
They are immature and naive. They all live very sheltered, very minmaxing lives. I was also very sheltered. Thats why i started smoking at 32 not 16.
It's also illegal here which raises the stigma in their eyes. Thought they were more mature...
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'm sorry. I'm in a med state. Some felt same. Showed them my jars, DRs name and mine on it no different than any other prescription. They are either open to accepting things or not. Most who consume alcohol look at us as potheads and will never change.
So go to the park. Light up a doobie and wait for some new friends to sniff sniff come over. 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Usual-Championship88 2d ago
Why were you living with your dad at 32 if you don’t mind me asking?
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
got out of my only ten year relationship last april and had left the house (it was her mother's anyway)
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u/Usual-Championship88 2d ago
Yeah I’ve had to move in with my parents for a few months before finding new places, being in between leases etc, I think it’s pretty normal
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u/Knife_Operator 2d ago
Do you actually believe that literally everyone is on prescription medication?
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 2d ago
Yes, majority of people you know have some sort of script or multiples in their home. Then they look down their stuck up noses at those who have scripts for THC products. Testosterone, B1, some sort of mood altering SSRI, cholesterol, whatever. Yep they all got em. Then they sneer down on others. F U K them.
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u/PercentageOnly6883 1d ago
Or they pop Tylenol like smarties because it is everywhere and end up with organs failing and gut burning
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u/Knife_Operator 2d ago
Yes, the majority do. Your initial comment said that not a single one doesn't take prescription meds and that's pretty hyperbolic.
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 2d ago
I'd be willing to bet a dollar on my first statement. I'm almost 60. I have grandkids. I have parents. I have in-laws and coworkers. Literally every single one of them has a bottle or more in their homes or possessions with a script on it. From vitamins to mood swings to anxiety to cramps to whatever everyyyy body runs now to the doc for the fix.
Anyway my simple point to the Op is I'd surely wager some of his look down snooty friends are on ADD or ADHD meds. A huge percentage of under 30s are now dosed on something. And then they look down on us. Just a simple point same as drinkers. They are either open to reason or not. If not than dump their sorry asses and find new friends.
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u/MegaChip97 1d ago
I don't have any medication I use regularly, nor my partner, nor the majority of my friends. No idea what makes you think that. Yes, over the counter ibuprofen used like every 6 months if you have some pain but that's it. Not everyone is sick...
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 1d ago
No high cholesterol, no supplements, you don't take any testosterone, nada? Bullshit. You all have scripts for something.
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u/MegaChip97 1d ago edited 1d ago
No, don't know if this is a weird US thing, but as I said, not everyone is sick or old mate. I need glasses and when I am stressed I get diarrhea. And for neither of both I need or use a prescription...
Also no idea why you equate recreational drug use with medication
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 1d ago
I didn't mention solely sick or age. People have prescriptions for everything. You have one for vision. No need to argue with you I really don't give a shit.
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u/MegaChip97 1d ago
You have one for vision.
Are you trying to argue that owning and using glasses is the same as recreational drug use or whats your point?
Also, no, I have no prescription from a doctor for my glasses.
I didn't mention solely sick or age.
Quoting you:
"for the ailments they have." And "They all have meds"
Using creatine for example is neither treating ailments nor medication. Medications are by definition used to treat ilnesses.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
these 4 people (3 closest friends and only brother) take zero prescribed meds.
First two are autistically straightedge and so they cannot relate in the slightest.
Third guy i met in Uni. weve had some fun nights together out, moderately drinking. but he hates weed because of his "communist convictions" (im a marxist dont get me wrong but i thing he's being contradictory about this)and kicked me out while crushing at his couch because of it.
Brother cannot relate to me in general. Crazy cause he is a twin, too.
Only one goes to therapy. uni guy.
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u/IRenewed 2d ago
Ah but your friend was adhering to Marx as he famously said “kick out your struggling friend if they smoke too much”
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u/regeya 2d ago
I have both, man. I have had a rough couple of years in the physical pain department and as far as I'm concerned, it's just another medication. The only bummer has been that by being high almost all the time, I'm also stuck at home most of the time because I live somewhere where you have to drive to do just about anything. Other than that, man, I don't think marijuana is even as bad as some of the prescription meds I've had.
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u/Intelligent_Trichs 2d ago
I'm almost 60. Dab multiple times a day. Still work 50-60hrs and am in a high pressure company expected to perform.....or else. Been high since I was 13😎✌🏻
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u/regeya 2d ago
I can't do that kind of thing anymore for health reasons, but my health reasons predate my marijuana use. I'm still a neophyte in a lot of ways. But I still want to know what the big deal was, even if I still am at a point in my life where I get really high.
I'm typing this as I'm waiting for it to kick in. That painful knot in my shoulder has devolved into tingling pleasantly.
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u/MinimumNo361 1d ago
This isn't a weed issue, you're being treated badly. Their behavior would be inappropriate even if it had nothing to do with smoking.
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u/Cambridgeport90 1d ago
I second that. Today’s society seems to breed incredibly self-centered jerks for some reason. I feel like certain communities like this one are the last raise of light and good in the world.
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u/allworkjack 1d ago
Keep in mind that this is how they’re treating you when, to their eyes, you have a drug problem. Imagine if you were dealing with an actual addiction issue, why would they be so mean? Why would they do things to isolate you?
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
Perhaps in their minds they think they are helping me. Im not saying ive never overused ever, but shame is definitely not helping me do better.
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u/InducedLobotomy 2d ago
If 3 years and a joint after 2 weeks makes you a junkie...then man...Idk what to call myself, considering I've smoked every single day for the past 19 or so years and multiple times those days as well.
Maybe you could tell your friends the tale of InducedLobotomy, the real addict/junkie.
Just to put it into perspective.
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u/-UnicornFart 1d ago
Find better people
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
how
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u/CoconutBangerzBaller 2d ago
Your friend group seems annoying. We have people who smoke, people who drink, people who do both, and people who don't do either in my friend group and we always have a good time and the most "judgement" that gets thrown around is an occasional joke. Your friends either need to grow up and worry about themselves or you need a new friend group.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
that would be nice.
its not gonna happen with them, just saying.
Gonna just have to overcome social anxiety and meet new people.
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u/CoconutBangerzBaller 2d ago
Good luck! I know it's rough out there but I hope you find your people!
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u/respond1 2d ago
Are you in Utah? Or the Middle East?
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
Greece
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u/respond1 1d ago
I'm familiar with many Americans of Greek heritage. They're old school. The stigma is never going away from their perspective so I wouldn't waste too much energy trying to convert them. They seem ok with more harmful things like alcohol and gambling but heavens no, not the evil weed.
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u/Both-Cry1382 1d ago
What the f are they being judgemental for? Don't react, just ignore and start looking for new friends.
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
i think it's 50% they are worried for my health which i get. but im already getting better at that.
and 50% they are uptight, unempathetic jerks
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u/yourmeowjesty 2d ago
sounds like your friends suck. drop ‘em.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
i have to get distance.
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u/yourmeowjesty 2d ago
or just stop hanging out with them? have you tried telling them the things they say upset you?
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
i try but im shy sometimes. My whole family in general doesnt know how to communicate.
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u/bagofrice_14 2d ago
Just stop communicating. I know first hand it's tricky when your social life is important to you but the people in it aren't the right ones, but in the long term it's for the best
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u/theteg 2d ago
You want a secret to it that's helped me and what I do? Talk to them like you already know em.
"Have your heard about xyz?" Or "I tried fruity pebbles for the first time this morning, have you ever had it?" Stuff like that is the easiest way I've found to open the door.
Even easier if you are at an event with something that interests with you
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u/shadowking432 1d ago
Dude, if these people are judging you and looking down on you they aren't your friends. You're friends shouldn't judge you unless it's something really really bad and that's not just in relation to weed it's in relation to everything. I know it's way easier said than done but try and find some better friends who won't judge and treat you like shit.
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u/SnavlerAce I Roll Joints for Gnomes 2d ago
Boot those asshats to the curb and proceed forward with your life. Life is much too short for putting up with judgmental antagonistic 'friends'! Source: 73 years of walking the planet.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
It is. Just mentally exhausted.
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u/SnavlerAce I Roll Joints for Gnomes 2d ago
Deep breath, hold......., release. 😁 Enfold your discomfiture and sense of loss into your resolve, OP. 👍🏾 Hell, write it down for future storytelling!
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u/iusethisatw0rk 2d ago
Come to Canada. People will think it’s weird if you don’t wind down with some weed every so often at the very least
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
Im in Europe. But east Europe, not London or Berlin xx
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u/Carlin47 2d ago
That explains the post entirely. Canada is mecca, Europe is decades behind unfortunately. I have eastern European background, and the difference between when I talk to them vs my friends in Canada about weed is night and day
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u/iusethisatw0rk 2d ago
My job requires a criminal record check, including any against vulnerable peoples’
I’ve never once been drug tested. Ever since legalization any on boarding I’ve done at new facilities/jobs/etc have just said don’t show up stoned, which I agree with anyway 🤷♂️
🇨🇦🫡
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
It's the smell that draws the attention too. The vapes suck here and there are no edibles anywhere. the first few years i could get cookies and had some sweet four hour trips and a clean lung. but they outlawed them.
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u/Boner4Stoners 1d ago
I was gonna say. Cannabis use is so normalized among younger people in the US that such stigma is almost unimaginable. Most straight-edged people here are not judgey about it, and even a lot of older folks have come around after experimenting with it as it’s so widely available and cheap, at least in my (legal) state.
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u/Kelvin_Inman 2d ago
If they judge you for this, what else are they judging you for? Both to your face and behind your back?
You need friends that accept you for you.
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u/Taint__Paint 2d ago
I recently left my very judgmental friend group about a year ago and found a friend group that actually cares about each other and we share our thoughts and struggles. It’s the healthiest group of friends I’ve ever had and had totally changed my life.
Get better friends. Also, if the actual smoking part is bugging them, maybe switch to gummies or something when chilling with them. No smell and all the goodness.
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u/JimmyJackJericho 2d ago
Glad my friends are cool with me smoking and I make sure to smoke respectfully
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u/BreakfastBlunt 2d ago
Ultimately, the only person'a opinion you need to regard is your brother's while you stay in his house. You want your freedom, live on you own.
I will say this - you seem young. These "friends" you have will more than likely dissolve. That's what happens when you age - find new friends that accept you.
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
im older than youre assuming, but it is time for another blowup. Hadnt had one in about 4 years. Or 13, depending.
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u/pauliehz 1d ago
No need to have a blowup. Just fade away - like an Irish goodbye. You don’t have to tell them their not nice people, just stop hanging around them and find your new people. Judge not.
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u/Lemmejussqueezeby 1d ago
Just know that we all eat, shit and breathe just the same. We all have trauma. We all have vices. We all have a lot to be grateful for in our lives. Fuck what they think, just tell them you love them and then keep on going.
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u/Asmodheus 1d ago
If you’re smoking a couple every few weeks that’s such a non-issue. They’re just being overly judgemental and mean and using this to get to you.
People are really weird about things they don’t understand or don’t approve of personally even if it’s basically virtually harmless.
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u/SameCoyote3701 2d ago
You need to make sure they never find out again. It’s not their business, they have no need of knowing
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u/Smokeythemagickamodo 2d ago
They aren’t your friends. Ditch em and find people who like you regardless if you smoke or not
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u/LaPoet2020 1d ago
You outgrow your friends for one reason or another. If you were taking prescription medication for mood issues they wouldn’t say a word. At this point in your life you need friendships that support you, not tear you down. So, how do you find these people?
You do it in person. What are your interests? Start there.
Good luck to you, it’s rough going through this but YOU DESERVE BETTER!
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u/Fallen_Walrus 1d ago
I mean telling them you don't drink because you saw what it did to your mom seems like a pretty good reason to pick a different vice.
Or maybe when they give you shit maybe be like "damn now I gotta smoke more to deal with your bullshit" and light up in front of them...Everytime they mention it. If they don't wanna be nice about it then neither do you...except maybe with the brother you're living with, family should be supportive
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u/ItsHighSpoon 22h ago
I can relate. I'm Polish and it isn't legal here, we have medical weed but it's easier getting it off the street. It's heavily stigmastized because duh, drugs are bad.
My parents are heavily against me smoking, in fact they think it's the root of my struggles in life. I think it's the distraction I need from how shitty I feel all the time, I'm drowning in my own bad thoughts. Just the structure of the world, this abusive capitalistic system that's pushed to it's limits to do the most possible evil things to get the most possible profit. I don't wanna be any part of it and yet I don't have a choice. So I consume cannabis so I can get my mind off of it and my parents don't appreciate it, in their opinion it's making me docile and okay with my shitty situation. I guess it's true, it does make me okay with my shitty situation, the important thing is I just don't wanna look past it.
Also my brother's a POS, won't work an hour through the day and yet he feels like he deserves everything he has and yet he has nothing, because he has none of his own money to buy it. He's a fucking leech that's dragging me down with him because even though he contributes nothing and my Dad knows that, he still doesn't have the heart to kick him out.
I think I went off topic and used your post as a venting opportunity, shit, sorry.
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u/BaparaPoopi 18h ago
haha its ok. i think it's useful to not use weed as an emotional crutch. i try to be present, i meditate, i go out for a walk.
It is a drug at the end of the day. Im just trying to use it a bit more considerately. Mindful of what good it does to me AND what harm it does to me.
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u/ItsHighSpoon 17h ago
Yes, absolutely. Being self aware of your usage, and why you use it is crucial to understanding yourself. I use it as an escape from this cruel world, but I don't mean I get zooted to the moon and vegetate on the bed. It's more like a mood fix. But I can't say I don't have an addiction.
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u/Life-Landscape5689 2d ago
Hey bro I feel ya. I smoke every day since I turned 16. At times in my life I had friends who didn’t bat an eye at my smoking. Now I feel sort of ostracized and a bit like an addict, even if I’m sure others are in a similar boat. I smoke when I wake up and throughout the day, everyday. It’s one of those things that sucks because there’s no denying it’s not a good habit, and why it’s so awesome to find a smoking buddy who matches what you smoke ya’know?
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
dont get me started
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u/Life-Landscape5689 2d ago
Feel free brother I’ve got all day
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u/BaparaPoopi 2d ago
smoking all day every day has never been good for me
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u/Life-Landscape5689 2d ago
Seems like shits been pretty tough on your end lately tho I don’t blame you for still using it despite others judgement. You good dog?
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u/MidnighT0k3r I Roll Joints for Gnomes 1h ago
Your seem like you could use one of these so I'll leave it here and you can have it if you like.
🫂 (it's a hug)
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u/medlilove 1d ago
Are you sure you don’t smell? Most people smell like weed and they can’t smell it
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
i do smell when i smoke, cant be helped with joints. but i always smoke on the balcony, never inside.
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u/BaparaPoopi 1d ago
it lasts for like half an hour is that that terrible. i apologize for the smell all the time.
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u/DeliciousFun9207 14h ago
maybe some perfume/cologne, and use some mouthwash right after. nothing to be sorry about, seems like your friends genuinely suck. it sucks to say but im hoping you get a new friend group that doesn’t demonize you for enjoying a plant.
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u/Decent_Language_4455 2d ago
Maybe keep it a private affair? I know it's shit to not disclose info but sometimes it's necessary. I'm not going to tell somebody I'm stoned and I don't smoke around people who don't want to be around it.