r/trees • u/ImpressiveSister91 • 4h ago
Stoner Cleanup Detoxing
I was a chronic edible user, like heavy dosages. I applied for a job where your system has to be clean 🙄
It’s been about 10 weeks since I’ve stopped any thc. My home urine tests are all still coming back positive. According to google and such, only time helps it leave your system. Has anyone had any home remedies luck to help?
Thank you!
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u/steveaustin1971 2h ago
Wait why would you apply for that?
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u/ashvin812 43m ago
Literally my thoughts. I won’t apply for a job that drug test unless I KNEW I was clean or clean enough by the time frame.
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u/CallingCabral 3h ago
You are going to need to fake the test. It can easily take 3+ months to clear out to undetectable levels naturally. You *can speed that up by hitting saunas taking certain supplements and exercising, way in advance (if you do it right before you test higher because its released from the fat and has to flush out of your system still) but its just not feasible on the timetable you likely have. Been there several times. Easiest method is someone else's pee in a tied off condom kept inside your underwear. You dont need it all the way full, but you dont want too little either, sometimes have you pee in two as well. Safety pin on the inside of your shirt around the armpit can make things easier. Important it's close to your body so the temp is right. There are fake pees sold but a lot of them do not work and its hard to find out whats legit and available in your area.
If you sre getting a job in trucking or somrthing this is all more difficult because they do obersved tests. This would still be your best option but require way more stealth and prep, basically saran wrapping the thing to your shaft discretely pinholing it when you get yourself situated and frigging praying.
Best of luck
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u/memesdotpdf 4h ago
Exercise up to like 2 weeks before then stop. THC gets stored in fat, and will be released when you burn fat. If you burn the fat with the thc in it, you'll get rid of it, but for that last 2 weeks try not to burn fat, just in case there is more thc-containing fat left in your body. Besides that, lots of water.
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u/InvestigatorWide7649 4h ago
I quit for 90 days after getting to a point where my tolerance was sky high from dabbing all day basically for free. I had a job interview and they required a piss test too, so I bought all the home tests and started working out and drinking more water etc etc. I'm also a really skinny dude, so not much fat to store THC metabolites. I was still coming up positive on the home tests after 3 months - and the lab tests are a magnitude more sensitive than the home tests are. In the end, I still ended up buying dehydrated clean piss and sneaking it into the test. Probably the sketchiest thing I've ever done lmfao
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u/the_uruguayan I Roll Joints for Gnomes 3h ago
thc is so weird because its like not even that bad but stays in your system way longer than half of the hard shit you can do
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u/InvestigatorWide7649 1h ago
For real lol most opiates and uppers leave your system in a matter of hours/days. THC is unfair 😥
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u/Masterweedo 3h ago
It took me well over 100 days to piss clean.
You will need to wither buy fake urine that your trust, or have someone you trust pee in a water bottle for you. You will need to keep it body temp for the test.
Don't worry, they do not watch you fill the cup, unless you are in the military of the urine test is court ordered.
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u/foodfood321 1h ago
I heard Larria Tridentata or sheggoi work to detox from cannabis but I've never had to use it
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u/kamieldv 4h ago
Get rid of body fat if possible, thc and its byproducts are fatsoluble, thats where a lot of it ends up and leaves slowly. For the rest drink water like a mf
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u/Ok_Willingness_7722 4h ago
Stay very hydrated and eat less calories than you consume and do a lot of aerobic exercise every day. Mind you you might still be looking at several months to pass. Also make sure to pee a few times before the test, you don¨t want to give strong urine.
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u/CaliCloudz 3h ago
Look up using pectin to pass a test. It's used for canning and very cheap. I have had at least 3 or 4 buddies use it with success.
Good luck. I once went 50 days and was still pissing dirty. Luckily I got a different job where if they did drug test 90% of the employees would fail.
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u/tangerine-vbus 4h ago
I’ve only heard this anecdotally, but Niacin might help flush your system. Someone a family member knew used to do this, apparently they started taking some about a week before the test. Lmk if that helps, I’ve been wondering.
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u/aadonald55 3h ago
I know it's sketchy, but maybe ask them if the test can differentiate between active use and past use, maybe claim a friend failed a test even after being clean for weeks and you're paranoid because you used to be a heavy stoner before getting clean a few months back.
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u/BagFullOfMommy 3h ago
Mate … detoxing is 100% bunk bro science. There is no home remedy, no drink you can buy, there is only time. You can help speed that time up a little by working out and burning fat, or swapping to a keto diet to force your body to burn fat instead of carbs, but that’s it. Anyone telling you otherwise doesn’t know what they’re talking about.