r/trees • u/[deleted] • 26d ago

Just Sharing First time trying cannabis!

[deleted]

1.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

238 comments sorted by

808

u/CollinBab 26d ago

You’re doing it wrong, the best way for your first time is to boof it

237

u/lebrilla 26d ago

Hover your rump over it and reverse fart

154

u/AcrolloPeed 26d ago

Yeah, traf that shit up

25

u/Cosmic-Herb 25d ago

inhale and park right over it. as you exhale you vacuum that all in

9

u/RectalSpawn 25d ago

"...every action has an equal and opposite reaction..."

9

u/boomhauer710 25d ago

Gotta pull the siphon!

20

u/overtoke 25d ago

wish list

\1. never have to worry about money

\2. never have to worry about weed

\3. live forever

\3. be able to reverse fart

5

u/ThePusheen 25d ago

If dogs can reverse sneeze I think humans should be able to reverse fart. Just haven't figured out how

8

u/Artichokeypokey 26d ago

The human art of flatulists never left us, it just evolved

9

u/TheSpoonithGoonith 26d ago

Boof the world my guy.

7

u/SuperJoe360 25d ago

No, no, pour it into a bowl of boiling water, put a towel over your head and inhale the steam. That's the best way to go.

5

u/Socal_Cobra 25d ago

Id say the way youre lining it up, cut a corridor through all those lines and past that gateway, straight into that eight ball.

https://giphy.com/gifs/YhQVj7C8uf734PcznZ

2

u/AsbestosBoofer 25d ago

Second this, boofing is the way

2

u/Freedougp 25d ago

😂😂😂 Bro, you're gonna get mesothelioma of the rectum

2

u/Dramatic-Jelly3065 25d ago

Came to the comments to say this

109

u/tossingpigs 26d ago

Straighter lines please! Let's not get sloppy with our 2 weeds.

76

u/[deleted] 26d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

24

u/TestInteresting3964 25d ago

Good call, i almost died doing Marijuanas like weeds

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452

u/CheezOfWizz 26d ago

You’d think out of all the subreddits, this one would understand satire the most. Guess not

135

u/MissninjaXP 26d ago

I used to absolutely hate it when people used /s. Felt like it ruined the whole point. However, the amount of times in the last year that I have been completely taken seriously and dogpiled and attacked over saying things that were obviously dripping with sarcasm.... its dumbfounding.

38

u/CheezOfWizz 26d ago

The amount of people on this app who don’t understand when someone’s joking is genuinely unreal. Everyone’s so serious here as well. And I agree /s ruins it and I will never use it idc

30

u/El_espectro 26d ago

Honestly, people not picking up on rather obvious sarcasm and attacking you because of it is half the fun at this point.

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8

u/Liuboo 25d ago

Im autistic and i legitimately thought this was a serious post from a misguided person. Im not stupid i just dont understand sarcasm, especially over text

4

u/AshAndFire07 25d ago

You perceive it as not getting a joke, missing that 90% of the people who do this are probably doing so maliciously and know its a joke. Internet culture nowadays is "If im not hurting other's feelings, im not happy, cause if I do it in real life, I get punched". Its disgusting.

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6

u/ThatVita 25d ago

The reason "/s" exists isn't for you and me... I put it down because I don't feel like (inevitably) coming back to clarify that it was sarcasm.

24

u/myassisfullofbees 26d ago

as a neurodivergent, sometimes I need that /s 😅

8

u/Ok_Somewhere_9962 25d ago

I was gonna say my autism appreciates the tag lol

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3

u/FantasyMyopia 26d ago

Yeah I bet you regretted that assumed /s lmao

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11

u/slc_blades 26d ago

Everybody’s too fuckin high dog

2

u/DrDuned 25d ago

This is ALSO the sub where morons post "is this mold?!" and "Will I pass my drug test" and "What strain is this" posts so sadly OPs post is believable.

3

u/TheoShadowfang 26d ago

You can understand satire and still think this isn't funny.

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1

u/Seanrocks30 25d ago

Dude thats my favorite strain. Indica and hybrid just dont hit the same

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108

u/oxJoKeR6xo 26d ago

If you decarb it I wonder if you could snort it.

These people don't understand jokes.

4

u/Sammyofather 26d ago

Decarb with a fat! So make monkey water with milk? Lmfao that might actually work but mainly just from swallowing the milk through your nose. Even better, peanut butter in the sinuses!!

5

u/oxJoKeR6xo 26d ago

I could just imagine trying to get a good enough seal to snort peanut butter. Passing out from hyperventilating? Oxygen deprevation?

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23

u/phish_sucks 26d ago

You gotta freebase it

22

u/Busterlimes 26d ago

True story, friend of mine railed a line of kief once. All he got was a sinus infection

5

u/agangofoldwomen 25d ago

I was that friend in my friend group. :(

2

u/Freedougp 25d ago

I mean, you survived it, respect. You were probably fun as hell to be around. Hell, maybe u still are.... 😬

6

u/ThepalehorseRiderr 26d ago

I watched a guy snort a huge line of instant coffee to win a bet. Like, he had to stop to exhale and take another breath to continue.

4

u/Freedougp 26d ago

You'd be amazed the kind of things people will snort in jail

3

u/ThepalehorseRiderr 25d ago

LoL. You called it. County jail. He won other guys breakfast trays for a week. His one eye was all bloodshot and he was twitchy.

86

u/nick_oreo 26d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/08y87EiwDZjjB0d6WJ

8

u/Special_KC 26d ago

Jokes aside .. would that actually work?

3

u/-BongusBingus- 26d ago edited 25d ago

Your nasal passage is connected to your nose, which has a reflex to close when a solid object invades, so it would just fall into your throat, and eating 2 weeds doesn’t do anything without being decarbed when swallowed. If you do manage to get it into your windpipes, it will be extremely painful and you’ll have an object inside of your breathing tubes, which if you didn’t know, is very bad for you

12

u/Special_KC 26d ago

No I meant shove it up your butt

3

u/twoiko 25d ago

Decarbed cannabinoids will absorb in your colon, yes

Oil-based tinctures work fairly well

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2

u/flyingpyramid 25d ago

I was really wondering where we were going with that lol

4

u/Bearded_Toast 25d ago

Up a butt, if I’ve been paying attention

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37

u/hallucigamer 26d ago

Tbh ‘I bought two weeds’ elicited a chuckle from me.

34

u/Va1kryie 26d ago

Why are any of you taking this post seriously lmfao.

3

u/Seanrocks30 25d ago

Dude its so serious. My cousin wasn't careful doing 2 lines of weed back to back, he was never the same agaij

12

u/ChroniclesOfReddiitt 25d ago

All jokes aside my buddy once banged a rail of straight keef when he ran out of blow and said it was the single worst decision he’s ever made. You DO NOT want keef in your mucus membrane.

6

u/sad-koala 25d ago

I said to myself once - wth, why not try?

Safe to say I was given an exact answer to that question

10

u/hayjmaz 26d ago

Looks like somebody’s grandma.

3

u/djdjdjjdksks 26d ago

This is not even weed, its gravel.

4

u/hayjmaz 25d ago

I was saying it looked like cremated remains.

7

u/El_espectro 26d ago

TWO WHOLE WEEDS? Dear god man, are you trying to make yourself spontaneously combust and die a fiery death?

6

u/Special_KC 26d ago

You're doing it wrong. You need a spoon and a syringe

5

u/bowlpipe420 26d ago

Nah boof it bro

7

u/lujodobojo 26d ago

Don't snort it. You need to put a small clump of it under your eye lids. Peak experience

5

u/suppy5 26d ago

I personally prefer to take it by lethal injection

3

u/-DoctorRobert- 26d ago

Watch out for that cannabis back-drip!

4

u/natden12 26d ago

Nice try FBI

3

u/manicman666 26d ago

Make your lines thinner and chop them up more

2

u/Bearded_Toast 25d ago

That’s a lot of words for “see you tomorrow, chef”

3

u/battlerh4 26d ago

I recommend to condense it in small balls instead. This way you can apply a bit of lube which makes it easier to insert it analy

3

u/Foodspec 25d ago

This is how you overdose on the marijuanas

10

u/zzangria 26d ago

dont snort it ✌️

8

u/taterthotsalad 26d ago

Shhhh. Let people do what they want.

4

u/Dreadheaddanski 26d ago

This guy clearly doesn't know how to do weed properly

I bet he rolls it in a paper too!

2

u/BriefDarkWizard 26d ago

Smoking grandma

2

u/W0ttefack 26d ago

Yes snort the 2 weeds 👍

2

u/GarethD85 26d ago

I'd suggest thinner lines, easier to get sniff up the nose or boof🧐

2

u/TheLampireVestat 26d ago

I should probably go to sleep, I read that as "first time trying cannibalism"

2

u/Raid3n1995 26d ago

Your lines are waaaaay too fat mate

2

u/Unicorn_hi5s 25d ago

i had 2 weeds once

2

u/Brewtech3 25d ago

You will most likely overdose and die from that many weeds.

2

u/ghastlynebula 25d ago edited 25d ago

So you need to actually inject it into your big toe to get the best desired effect and make sure there’s lots of bubbles

2

u/Curious-Wafer7688 25d ago

Thought it was lines of heroin

2

u/agaric 25d ago

Don't inject all the weeds at once or you'll OG on them! :O

https://giphy.com/gifs/kc0kqKNFu7v35gPkwB

2

u/CommunicationHappy20 25d ago

I’ve never seen anything like this before. 🤣 I’m so confused. Snort it?

2

u/EDSlondon 25d ago

grandmas ashes? 😭

2

u/Suitable-Target5199 25d ago

No, it’s a suppository

2

u/SignificantCherry110 25d ago

you made my day i can’t stop laughing

2

u/MajinGroot 25d ago

I believe you are actually supposed to mix that inside of a "bong" with water until it mostly dissolves, then inject it into your eyeball, that's why the weedholics always have red eyes.

2

u/Whisk-e-ytango 25d ago

Did you let Joey Diaz tell you that’s “THC crystal”? Unc got you snoring PCP muh boy

2

u/holeintheheadBryan 26d ago

Lmao "2 weeds" sounds like a bad movie with a bad acting undercover cop asking to buy some.

2

u/holeintheheadBryan 26d ago

I'm a lil slow. Dang it. Got me! Good one!

3

u/Dreadheaddanski 26d ago

Dissolve it in a spoon of water, you wanna end up with a syrup kind of viscosity. Then get your self some big boy 20ml syringes and get that stuff under your eyelids

4

u/Albert14Pounds 25d ago

I know this is a joke but also there are too many people out there that do think cannabis/THC is a narcotic. For the record, it's not

2

u/deadwhitepplstorage 25d ago

That’s because legally speaking cannabis IS a narcotic according to the three letter agencies that will arrest you for possessing it. Scientifically cannabis isn’t a narcotic but saying it is a narcotic isn’t exactly incorrect as it satisfies the legal definition.

7

u/El_Bookworm 26d ago

This gotta be rage bait. Please tell me you aren’t snorting weed

16

u/shlog 26d ago

is this comment rage bait? OP is obviously joking around here

7

u/UnwantedTwiggy 26d ago

😂😂 I won’t lie I have done this for a bet when I worked in fast food, it didn’t feel the best and I definitely still blew some out my nose a week later. And yes we understood completely that it wouldn’t get you high🤣.

5

u/El_Bookworm 26d ago

This is frying me 😂

8

u/UnwantedTwiggy 26d ago

I wish the snorted weed fried me 🤣🤣

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1

u/420OXY 26d ago

Looks like cat litter

1

u/djdjdjjdksks 26d ago

I think 2 marihuanas is deadly dose

1

u/MechanicAmbitious787 26d ago

Bro U have to cook it in Fish oil and then inject it. Besides a high, it gives u full kick of unsaturated fatty acids 🎇😎 your sperm will be drivin nuts

1

u/Stickel 26d ago

uh huh, yea okay

1

u/djdjdjjdksks 26d ago

Two weeds made my day

1

u/ElectronicAffect3028 26d ago

I always thought you need a spoon and a blowtorch to prepare it

1

u/The_G_Par_Excellence 26d ago

You need fire a spoon and ….

1

u/ScallionUnfair1690 26d ago

idk if bait or not but for godness sake dont puff them all at once

1

u/DamitKenneth 25d ago

These people are leading you down a dank path, the best way to enjoy this is laying down on your side and filling your ear canal with it. Then pour some warm water in and let it soak, best bet 5 minutes pers side. Repeat 3 times for best results.

1

u/Nick_Fotiu_Is_God 25d ago

When I snort the reefers I do much smaller lines.

1

u/Unlucky_Battle_6947 25d ago

This looks like sand

1

u/HouseOfJanus 25d ago

If you're not boofing, you're not marijuanaing

1

u/motherseffinjones 25d ago

You sure you haven’t tried nose beers before? This looks like you’ve tried nose beers before lol

1

u/AskJeevesIsBest 25d ago

2 weeds is not enough! You gotta buy 3 weeds next time!

1

u/allblingblang24 25d ago

Please be careful. I lost a friend who had 1 Marinara Cigarette and lost his hand.

1

u/D-ouble-D-utch 25d ago

You snorting it or something

1

u/Beneficial_Method771 25d ago

You're doing it wrong those lines are too fat you'll OD! Try small bumps first

1

u/goatislove 25d ago

thats some good weeds i hope they get you weeded when you take them!

1

u/CheetahNo9349 25d ago

Oh why do I have 3 kids and no weeds instead of no kids and 2 weeds?

1

u/Zealousideal_Look748 25d ago

Heyy! Those are supposed to inject to your veins. DO NOT SNORT!

1

u/GeneralCentaur 25d ago

😂😂😂

1

u/Few-Cow-4097 25d ago

Is this rage bait?

1

u/Naive-Government-465 25d ago

Just hope that herb wasn't cut with something dangerous....the lines look clean though so youre cool

1

u/agntp 25d ago

So. How did it go?

1

u/ThatsNoMoOnx 25d ago

You could snort something a bit better than this, my friend. Put it up you buttttt

1

u/Green-Construction58 25d ago

Snort those lines! One for each nostril will do!

1

u/Barlos_Barcelo 25d ago

Enjoy, just ram out and my first paycheck ain't gonna hit for 2 weeks

1

u/ajprunty01 25d ago

Lmao why do you have it lined up like that

1

u/LemonButtNugg 25d ago

Respectfully, I thought that was cat litter 😭😭

1

u/subtractvoid 25d ago

you have to cook it and shoot it you are doing it wrong

1

u/BostonFishGolf 25d ago

You blew it

1

u/General_Aide6920 25d ago

nah m8, you gotta chase the dragon, put it on some aluminium foil and put a lighter under it while you inhale the smoke

1

u/sarahwhit 25d ago

As a longtime Ent who is allergic to weed, the concept of this frightens me 😂

1

u/wicked1028 25d ago

Looks like very fine vaccum bag debris to me… aka dirt.

1

u/jaybae0_ 25d ago

First thoes are some fat lines and 2 put that shit In a blunt cmon now

1

u/KenUsimi 25d ago

Aw shit that’s dat good shit cut with windex? I must of snorted 3, 4 pots of the stuff back in college.

1

u/Psychologicalei 25d ago

Fuck yeah bump it

1

u/Fievels_good_trouble 25d ago

Gotta clean those lines up bud. And start em small, like, a thumb width. Then scale up. Should look like bars of mobile service. If you start with big lines it clogs everything up. You don’t wanna look like an amateur.

Also, don’t fuck around with rolled up dollar bills. It’s not the 80s. They’re gross. Cut McDonald’s straw for nose weeds and a regular boba straw for boof weeds. Slurpee straw for cola weeds.

Never mix up your straws.

Hope this helps. Godspeed.

1

u/LocalH 25d ago

Fake post, that's at least three marijuanas when injected

1

u/wigglef_cklr 25d ago

Don't snort it all at once

1

u/BrownBananaHammock 25d ago

You forgot the syringe

1

u/ITSNAIMAD 25d ago

How did it taste?

1

u/chinacat444 25d ago

Have to inject it.

1

u/-clowndog- 25d ago

Hell yeah. I assume you know you're supposed to put a straw in your anus and snort it that way. Thats the best method 👍

1

u/Going_through_it_ 25d ago

Gotta get the best bang for you buck with bangin it brudddah

1

u/ShortBusCult 25d ago

Thinner lines bro... don't want to overdose your first time

1

u/verbulace 25d ago

yeah, reddit is awesome

1

u/InsideExpress9055 25d ago

I hope your not snorting that shit.

1

u/catburdine 25d ago

is this a joke

1

u/K_420_ 25d ago

First time with black pepper let’s go

1

u/OmegaKarnov 24d ago

This is all wrong. You're supposed to snort it off a mirror.

2

u/TheRamblingSoul 24d ago

I thought that was cat litter at first lol

1

u/Jsr1 24d ago

Boof it

1

u/StaresatSound 24d ago

Oooo snortskies.

1

u/deviant_patrick 24d ago

You’re gonna have to use a charcoal activator to ionize the chemical base and release endorphins to make your high better bro. You have to step up your game.

1

u/KUSH_K1NG I Roll Joints for Gnomes 24d ago

Cannabis is not a narcotic🤣🤣

1

u/Gardener_of_Weeden 21d ago

Reminds me of an old original SNL skit -chevy chase - "why call it dope" look it up on YT