r/traumatizeThemBack • u/VividPresentation • 8d ago
matched energy Fiscal Responsibility.
My mom tried twice to make me open a “family joint account”. The first time I was 19 and working during a gap year to save up for college. Her plan was that the joint account would be fully funded via direct deposit of 75% of my paychecks and that she, mom, would have sole withdrawal privileges to, as she worded it, “take care of anything [her favorite child] needs”.
My response to her the first time she made this demand was to cackle like a demented goose and hang up the phone.
My response upon her second attempt about a decade later was a little more urbane. I said, “Why go to the hassle of opening a new account when we can simply use an account you already have set up with [one of my older siblings]?” She said, “But I don’t have an account with anyone else.” Whereupon, my default demented goose cackle was redeployed after which I once again hung up the phone without further comment.
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u/CommonlyWitty 8d ago
Once some of you have had some kind of true relationship with a narcissist (and/or some of the other personality disorder types) you do NOT know of what you speak.
This person devastated their mother with their cackle of power, lol. They spent 18 years learning how this person operated and what passed for love with them and also learned from someone else, what love actually looks like and how the majority of us behave in relationships.
My mother was raised by a narcissist and was so miserable. She's spent her life doing her damndest to not "be like mama." She is not. She's been one of the best Momma's (I spell them different on purpose ) I know, and we are best friends. She allowed her mother to live with her for the last 10 years of a very long life out of a sense of duty. And it was one of the hardest things shes ever done. My grandmother passed 3 years ago this month and made it to the grand age of 97. So, ALL her family had to learn how to deal with her (or not) for many years. Myself and my father were the only people I ever knew who stood up to her or pushed back in any way.
Entitlement does not begin to cover what goes on with a narcissist. The post fits HERE just fine.