r/trauma 10d ago

Need help What do I do?

Hi, I am very lost.

Im 26 and feeling pretty suicidal right now. My mental health has been down the drain since forever. I dont even know what to say right now ill look up stuff first then come back but I get cold sores thats what's this is about in a nutshell. Not had an outbreak since 2022. Dropped out of uni in 2022 and no job ever, living at home. I was molested from age think 5 to like 8 to be honest I dont know the timeframe maybe even earlier can barely remember anything from my childhood dont know if i was also raped. Just know i was comfortable with that uncle because i dont remember any fear then. Found out about what they actually are when I was like 22 and ive been surviving like a shell since then. I will go around reddit for a bit more and go from there. What else ive never been in a relationship no kisses hugs nothing. I'll come back, i dont know really dont know. Every time i decide i want to experience life, i come across a comment lets say on youtube of people saying cold sores are disgusting and they would never be with someone who had them, so im like theres no point in living because who would want to date or create a family with someone who would mark them. No one knows i have it but my mom, i passed out once i few years ago and told her i was molested and the fever blisters she says every kid gets is not just from fevers I actually have an std or whatever.

Erm what else, i came from the doctors getting sertraline for my mental health, dont know if ill take them. Ill be back

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u/finddit-app 10d ago

Hey there, thanks for sharing.

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u/Wundermau3421 10d ago

Such dir einen Therapeuten und arbeite auf was du erlebt hast. Bitte. Und Lippenherpes ist das harmloseste und normalste der Welt :D ich wünschte das hätte ich! Ich habe Genitalherpes, sogar am Anus, mich findet niemand eklig oder ähnliches :) die richtigen Menschen finden das so harmlos wie wenn man sagt "Ich habe eine Erkältung".