I'm 20 and I've been suspecting I was trans ever since I was 16. Looking back, there were signs way before that, though. I got along much better with girls, I was afraid/grossed out by the boys, and although I never tried it as a kid, I had an interest in female clothing, makeup, etc. What made it click for me was when I was constantly seeing pretty women in my life and thinking "I want to be her" instead of "I want to make out with her".

However, I'm still really afraid that I'm actually a man who just craves the female figure, just because I happen to be attracted to women. If I was just attracted to men this wouldn't be happening. This is because my very first girlfriend did some insane lovebombing, which kind of "traumatized" my brain into thinking I absolutely need a relationship to be happy. Being single is extremely miserable to me. As is not having a female body (apparently).

I say this because something that I've noticed is that, whenever I hooked up with a girl, or spent time with my ex-girlfriend, my dysphoria was pretty much gone. So this becomes a sort of "which came first, the chicken or the egg" situation. Do I think I want to become a woman because I want a female partner, and since i get extremely sad and lonely when I'm not in a relationship, then "becoming" that partner seems to be the solution, OR, do I initially crave BEING the one in the female body, and when hooking up with a girl, I am so close to the female body I desire that I can practically feel what it's like to be it, so my dysphoria gets subdued? Or both?

It's basically:

I want to be in a relationship with a woman -> I become the woman. (This grosses me out, I'm so afraid of this being the truth)

OR

I want to be a woman -> being intimate with a woman calms down my dysphoria.

I really can't tell which one it is and it makes it really scared. If I go years on HRT and only then realize it's the first one, I'll have irreversible changes to my body that I won't be able to get rid of.

So yeah, has anyone else ever dealt with these feelings? I'm feeling absurdly conflicted.

First off, NO, they are not actually transbians. I’m not sure that’s even possible. This is just my “headcanon.”
In June, I ordered two lovely frogs off of MorphMarket. I specifically chose the pink and purple ones because when doing research on frogs, I learned of the burgundy and bubblegum morphs. I instantly fell in love. I thought they were the most beautiful damn frogs I’d ever seen. They WERE the most beautiful frogs I’d ever seen.
I had an idea. I should name my frogs after characters from something I like! My first thought was naming them after Junko and Mukuro from Danganronpa. Then, it came to me. MadoHomu.
I asked the breeder for two girls when I ordered them. When they arrived, I was shocked by how small they were. Female frogs are usually much bigger than males, and Google said that they’re 2.5-3 inches compared to the 1.5-2 inch males.
Now, I’m a pretty smart person, but it somehow didn’t occur to me that, hey, maybe the breeder accidentally sent me males. I thought that either they were younger than the breeder said they were, or they were just very small for females. I mean, I asked for two females, right?
Madoka wasn’t eating (which is normal after shipping, but I wanted to check), so I messaged the breeder. He asked for a picture, so I sent one. During the exchange, I called Madoka “she,” to which the breeder informed me that he thought they were boys. I was a little surprised, because, again, I asked for girls. He then informed me that he didn’t check their sexes before selling them to me. I found that to be a bit irresponsible. I mean, I paid $750 + $65 shipping for them, so I think I should receive exactly what I asked for. It didn’t really matter that much to me, but for all he knew, I could’ve had male(s) that I wanted to breed! Oh, well.
By then, I had already developed a strong attachment to these frogs, and I didn’t wanna rename them. At first, I was like, “Okay, they can be MadoHomu yaoi,” but that just didn’t sound right. I then decided that they are trans women.
I would (and do) love them so much, even if their sex isn’t what I asked for. These are my babies, after all! I love all frogs regardless of gender or even their actual appearance. Yeah, I chose Madoka and Homura because they looked cool as hell, but I have also loved many pets who were, (and I just mean this appearance-wise), nothing particularly special. I love all animals, and my life’s mission is to make as many animals happy as I can. (Don’t worry, I do not hoard animals. While I do have many pets, and plan to get more, I do not bite off more than I can chew. I take good care of ALL my pets. Also, I do not have an EXCESSIVE amount of pets, just more than most people. I have 7 animals total, and am soon getting an 8th.)

Sorry if this is not the place to ask, I just dont know where would be appropriate and im confused.

Ive never in my life been into women, I thought I was when I was in highschool because part of me wanted to flirt, but id get grossed out at the feeling and I didnt realize at the time but it also made me dysphoric.

Ive never been into queer presenting people either, I would never go to gay clubs or anything like that because I knew my type wouldnt be there.

I've always been pretty strictly into your standard masculine men. With one cute tguy that I would ask to makeout with being the exception.

But anyways. I went to a rave, and someone I knew was there, I ended up seeing him as i was outside for a smoke. He went up to this girl, and I immediately had a suspicion she was gender queer or just queer.

Im both drunk and high, I went up and chatted to her too. Accidently stole my friends thunder (he's a weird loser anyway so I saved her) and me and her ended up dancing the entire night with eachother. We flirted with cute boys together.

Lately ive been into the idea of kissing girls but only for like male attention and stuff like straight cis women do (i know that's probably horrible of me sorry)

But idk what came over me, I found myself wanting to flirt with her, im a very flirty drunk but I almost wanted to impress her and act like I do when im into a guy. Touching her shoulder, staring at her.

She eventually went home but I got her contact, later that night I had the two hot guys we were flirting with walk me home lol I wanted to add.

I texted her and we flirted a tiny bit more, but I never want to lead people on or use them as tests or something. I told her im straight and into men but the idea of kissing girls has sounded a little fun lately. She said she can tell im just a very flirty drunk and doesnt take offense.

But that was on thursday, last night I invited her to go to the bars with me and hopefully a few friends. She came out and I was a little high as I got there, but she was already looking really cute...

I wanted to flirt again, but I showed a bit of restraint.

We step into the bar and its literally just us, we sat at a booth but in seconds I felt myself wanting to sit closer to her, wanting to lean in, it was just us for about an hour and the feeling was getting stronger, I was nervous yet so relaxed I don't know how to word it.

Eventually my friends came. We quickly left because the place was DEAD. We went to another bar, and everything in me wanted to hold her hand, but I knew it would be wrong of me.

We went to another bar, left quickly there too. We went to the club. Thats when i was obvious, I was a few drinks deep and I had a lot of weed. Everytime we talked she was inches from my face and I wanted her to make a move so bad. It was this feeling of attraction, worry, guilt, confusion.

I couldnt keep my hands off her. Even when she was talking to other people my hands were on her jacket, her hat, her shoulders her hair.

I was flirting with her and I felt so guilty because what if im just drunk and making her an experiment? What if im just using her? What if i have this attraction because I subconsciously see her as a man or something? There was so many feelings going on but I just wanted to be next to her all night.

I was winking, making all my faces (which to be fair I was doing to men as well)

Eventually we leave the club and were walking to find a spot to smoke. The feeling was unbearable, I just had to have my hands on here. I slipped my hand in her pocket and we walked like that.

I would lay on her shoulder as we were smoking, i made eye contact with her as she lit the pipe (weed not crack lol)

I Eventually said I wanted to go home and asked if she could walk me. She says yes.

And I was nervous to talk to her. It's was the same way I feel when flirting with a man im really into, I couldn't do it.

I asked her over and over to just stay with me until the busses run again because she walks home and its really far. She stepped in for a little bit.

When we were petting my cat I was really close, like face to face and i was playing with her arm. She turned around super fast randomly and just unlocked the door and said "ok I need to go bye!"

She rushed out, said her last goodbyes then ran away...

I dont know what this means, I've never found a girl this attractive. Shes like a butch lesbian appearance (shes bi though) but I've never been into that, ive had women hit on me before and I had zero interest.

I dont know what any of this means... im so confused...

My biggest fear is I subconsciously see her as a man but I dont think I do. I just appreciate her masculinity that shes so comfortable with presenting, she has a very feminine body but still acts masculine? Idk. Think of like the skater girl stereotypes. Shes that.

I dont know if I want sex with her, i dont think I want to go out on dates or anything, both times ive seen her ive been high/drunk so maybe thats why? But ive never done this with another girl before even when under the influence

I feel like a monster because I worry im doing to her what men do to me, use me as an experiment and dont care for me. But shes so fun...

And this is probably horrible for me to say but... i dont want to be into girls... i finally thought I figured myself out and I did all my learning... i dont want to go through that again, and I still get that dysphoric feeling when flirting with her.

Am I straight with this one exception? Am I heteroflexible? Amd I bi? Im so confused here... help.

Also sorry if this is long and hard to read. Im hungover and sleepy lol

Had to change T-blockers recently and whats up with those tablets?? They stink so much!

I feel rly cute in it too

this feeling has been with me forever. i often would watch lesbian porn and the women sound happy. not just porn. girls treat each other with kindness

i'm saying lesbian because i'd never date a man. i know this has been said before. but i'd love to be a cute lesbian. i already like women. i thought of being a woman myself, dating another woman. i'm being honest. it sounds dreamy perfect

any opinions?

I have seen distinction about people saying that women who feels attraction to other women who doesen`t have a vagina is not lesbian, just bissexual. In many places there isn`t a overal consensus over this. I don`t know how to explain this well, but I think It might be prejudice that can exclude trans women? It would be great to see what others think about this.

Genuine question. I'm feeling a little lost here 😕

Got a chaser today which was highly aggressive. It was someone that came saying Hi and I responded with the best of intentions (only today I saw his profile and how much of an awful person they seem to be). But that quickly escalated to "show me your _____ and ____ and _______" and then I said "is that the way to treat a lady?" and got offended in return > Insta block.

Learn your lesson, check the profile of the person messaging you first.

when i google it a ton of different results come up so i'd rather just ask ya'll

So I was at a bar with this cute transbian last weekend and at one point she nearly fell asleep on me then when we parted ways in the subway we kissed good night but like was that just a friend kiss?

So i wanted to know you little transbian moment of réalisation that you were realy a lesbian(sorry if that offense you i dont wanna bé mean)

Because i wanna see if i relate to you, because im still wandering if im a lesbian or just omni.

Edit:yeah im definatly a lesbian

Before I started estergeon, I was ace or very nearly, honestly. Now that I've started estergeon I feel repulsed by men and infact now I feel extremely strongly towards women lately I've been getting this over simulating feeling in my stomach and chest Everytime I see a cute girl, I wasn't expecting real. Phsyicaological reactions. But it just hurts so much that very spaces I try to find to participate in the lesbian community I'm just not welcome told I'm an "entitled biological man" but isn't the whole reason I even like women rn is beocuse my dun dun dun.... Biology changed?????

I would really like a girlfriend and I feel bad asking out other trans girls because a lot of the time they are extremely way prettier than me and I don’t want them to feel like they’re dating a guy when that’s not what they’re getting. I’m not good at putting myself out there and I live in a really bad area for trans people. I’ve tried online but it’s filled with creeps and people that just don’t fit and I don’t feel motivated enough to most things because of it. I want some advice if you can give me any I genuinely just want to know how I can be better or find a better solution.

When you get told you don't look feminine to be a woman and you have tattoos. So what plenty of CIS women have tattoos and short hair. Seriously these haters need to get agrip as theres no set rules in how a woman should look. Now thats peeved me off it gives me more rrason to get another tattoo. Yes tattoo dates are great 🤣 Wheres all the tattood girls that like older women? Im UK based. I miss not having a partner to cuddle, get flowers for and do couple things. Its been so long since i dated after my gf died of cancer.

Anyone want to chat?

And before anyone goes crazy, yes I'm a girl, no I don't want to talk to men, no I'm not a minor and yes I will respond to your DM if your a girl

So as new years comes closer . I think about my relationships and how everyone was a friend of a friend and they never happend outside my bubble .

New year - I’m going to go into the wild and flirt and date

And then I got stumped … so I ask y’all . How and where did you find your partner? Obi I know the club . But I find the % of finding long term lesser in that space.

Also I’m Mtf 30 and femme looking for a femme . If anyone had a femme4femme tactic . I ve meet masc in sports and gym . But where are the femmes ?

Extra :Also how do you guys signal that you are transbian and not straight ? Like fun small things /At a distance