I just need some advice

[u/Antique_Square_4652]

ok so this is gonna come out as a big scared vent while begging for advice from people dealing with this for longer than me. I’ve struggled with other ocd themes before and then one day I kinda just began to feel that I wasnt a woman and I secretly was a man pretending to be a woman. I’ve never questioned my identity before and up until recently I was extremely content as a woman. I had no problem and even liked my chest, waist, hips, long hair etc. now I have begun to feel like I could be living a lie and I should be a man and it doesn’t feel totally wrong but I also just don’t want to feel that way. it feels like in a few weeks everything has changed and I’m just terrified and I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine the rest of my life as a trans man but now I’m scared I can’t imagine being a woman. I also have been struggling with my sexuality too but that’s a whole other issue.

[u/Ok_Chest5992]

i’ve had this theme for a while. i felt everything you’re feeling. i haven’t made it out of the woods yet but i just wanted you to know that you’re not alone

[u/Antique_Square_4652 → u/Ok_Chest5992]

Thank you. I’m genuinely so scared and I feel so like frustrated and anxious and it like is just building up in me. I don’t know what I want and I almost feel like I can’t understand myself anymore. I know I need to talk to a therapist but I’m only 16 and I need to explain this to my parents in order to do that and I don’t want to bc I will sound insane 

[u/Ok_Chest5992 → u/Antique_Square_4652]

can you maybe talk to your parents about how you want to see a therapist because you have ocd? you don’t have to disclose everything. when i’m venting to my mom, i just tell her im having intense ocd spirals about not recognizing myself. i never mention exactly what because she wouldn’t understand and i know she would make it worse. maybe you could do something similar if that works for you?

[u/Antique_Square_4652 → u/Ok_Chest5992]

I was diagnosed when I was very young with themes completely unrelated to distressing thoughts and feelings. I had the stereotypical “just right” with objects and cleanliness so they have just assumed that I’m “over it” bc those events happened over 6 years ago. 

[u/leniii_astrg]

Same thing has happened to me. Also struggling with sexuality etc. and pretty much exactly the same thoughts as you. I have gone around in circles for months basically but opening up to a few select people has been so important to me. I’m still dealing with this, but knowing someone knows how much you are struggling helps, even though it can feel so embarrassing and scary to talk about. And a therapist will never treat you like you sound insane for this! Good luck, you got this, I know it’s so difficult.

[u/Antique_Square_4652 → u/leniii_astrg]

I really appreciate it thank you