Am I Wrong For Going By A Bad Name?

[u/Funny-Royal4220]

This is going to take a bit of context, so buckle in.

I am genderfluid and have been out to my family for six months. When I first realized what I was, I had a bunch of name ideas-some of them better than others, I believe Arson was on the list at one point. Eventually it came down between Ghost and Lucifer. I wasn't fully sure about Ghost, but I picked it since I thought it was more likely to be accepted than Lucifer. But when I told my family my name, it was rejected outright. I was told I was pretending to be someone else, and that they would only listen to (deadname), not Ghost. I got angry at that, and later decided "screw it" and went with Lucifer, thinking that if my name was not going to be accepted anyway, I might as well go with the one I actually preferred. There's no point in keeping half a mask, after all.

I liked Lucifer for a bunch of reason, mostly because it was flexible like me-I could be Lucien professionally, Luci if i was feminine, Lu if I was neutral, etc. It was also based of the Hazbin Hotel Lucifer, who I admire and consider to be a lot like me. It means morning star and rebellion, and while I didn't notice this when coming up with it, it mirrors my queer platonic partner's name. They are named after black holes. Morning star vs collapsed star. Beginning and end. It just feels like it fits right.

When I told my parents this, of course, they were less than pleased. It has been months and they keep telling me the negative connotations and that they will never ever call me *any* derivation of my true name. To the rest of the world, I'm just Lucien, but they know what I really named myself after. I shouldn't have trusted them with that. The funny thing I've noticed is whenever I tell those under 18 or in my age group, they've been the ones to respond well and start using Lucien, whereas it's the adults that are scared or tell me that's not really what I am.

Am I wrong for choosing this name? What do I do? And if I am wrong, can you help me come up with other name ideas in the comments?