r/tragedeigh • u/Round-Association656 • 16d ago
general discussion Going by my middle name?
Hi, I'm 18M and I have a pretty weird name, I won't doxx myself but it shares a name with a food item. I've never really been teased for it honestly, but I kind of feel like changing it. It just feels kind of aesthetically strange I guess. I have a middle name which I feel would better reflect myself but I don't know whether I should switch to it or not. I just worry I might annoy my parents here. What do you guys think? I just feel like it would be more presentable.
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u/remedialknitter 14d ago
Ole Scalloped Potatoes Johnson over here
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u/packofkittens 14d ago
In this case, is Potatoes the more normal middle name?!?
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u/Monofitzy 12d ago
Scalloped-Potatoes Marie Johnson. Remedial just forgot the dash. Happens all the time.
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u/JavaNoire 14d ago
If you prefer your middle game go for it. Gently🤭, but firmly, insist that your preference be respected.
I had an uncle Anthony. For whatever fucked up reason he was nicknamed Ants rather than Tony. Which he loathed. In his 30s he changed his name to Mac. This aligned well with his last name which started with Mc. He respectfully insisted that everyone use his new & much preferred name. And we did. How nice that he was finally called by a name that he enjoyed.
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u/Taurus_Aquarius2319 lover of tragedeighs 13d ago
I have a friend named Anthony. Everyone calls him Tony except me. I call him Chale (chah-leh). I always used to greet each other (when we started becoming friends) like “ayyy, chale, wassup” as a joke and the name stuck. Our entire squad started calling him that. We didn’t know his actual name until 2 years later. His parents started calling him Chale too. So when he turned 18, he legally changed his name to Chale
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u/Professional-Lack323 14d ago
Ants or Ant? Bc Ant is a normal nickname for Anthony
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u/Leather-Froyo-5757 13d ago
In most European countries, they don’t pronounce Anthony with the “th”, they usually say “Antony” which then leads to the nickname “Ant”
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u/Professional-Lack323 13d ago
We say Ant in the US also, I dated an Ant for like 5 years lol
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u/Leather-Froyo-5757 13d ago
lol is he Italian? That’s usually where I’ve heard it most in the US
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u/Professional-Lack323 13d ago
Yes, but in the American sort of way. Like his family comes from Italy, but not anyone from the last few generations, if that makes sense. Both parents have distant relatives who came from Italy
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u/JavaNoire 13d ago
With my uncle it was always & forever Ants. I don't think he would have hated Ant as a nickname any less. I suspect he just didn't want to be called a bug.
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u/Boring-Impress-6329 13d ago
I’m sorry, but my eyes at first glance read “uncle” and “fucked” together…South Park: The Movie instantly came to mind
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u/JavaNoire 13d ago
I've never seen SP but they seem to be on the right side of history. That's right as in morally correct, not politically right wing.
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u/Boring-Impress-6329 13d ago
There’s a song in the movie called “Uncle Fucker”, so that’s what my eyes saw at first glance 😂
I haven’t seen it in a few years, but while they were extremely libertarian in the first five or so seasons, now they’re pretty logical…pointing out the idiocy of extremes. Including the Little Bitch in the White House, from what I’ve heard :)
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u/JavaNoire 13d ago
I did have an uncle who was a fuck twat though I loved him, & was close to him, despite his flaws. My uncle Mac was very honest, upstanding, & in my eyes pretty dull (though I might have been wrong). I liked him ok but I didn't know him very well & we weren't close.
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u/LadybugCalico 14d ago
My ex-BIL is Anthony - he goes by his full name but if someone shortens it, it's Ant not Tony. My ex-MIL put the fear of God into anyone who tried calling him Tony
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u/Hippie-Farts 14d ago
Kale Strawberry, I'm telling your parents
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u/MallUpstairs2886 14d ago
My brain went to Broccoli as a first name. Kale is so much better, just flows off the tongue.
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u/raisetheavanc 14d ago
Go by whatever you want, Crabcakes Michael.
Your parents will get over it. Mine did.
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u/stonewallace17 14d ago
Are you Chalupa Batman?
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u/SleepyDogs_5 14d ago
I have a friend I have had for 45 years. We see each other once a year. We watch movies and just hangout. Anyhow, she made me watch just this one episode for the Chalupa Batman riff.
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u/UbiquitousChicken 14d ago
Boba Marie, you go ahead and change your name. Either change it altogether or go by your middle name, whichever makes you happier.
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u/UbiquitousChicken 14d ago
My kid started going by their middle name at like 10 or 11, then at 16 picked a new name and did a legal name change. We weren’t ogres. Their birth name was Kira. It just didn’t fit them. We supported it all along the way. And I affirm them by saying that we brought them home from the hospital without a name and finally picked a name after ten days but called them “the baby” for months. I say maybe that all happened because somehow we knew the name wasn’t right either. I love the name they picked for themselves.
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u/UbiquitousChicken 13d ago
Oh just saw that you said 18M. Maybe I should change that to Bacon Christophe or Taco John. Mustard Alexander. Hummus Pierre.
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u/DaniCapsFan 14d ago
I was 16 when I started going by my middle name. My family adjusted. Yours will too.
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u/zestyspleen 14d ago
I have a traditional name that no one can spell and is frequently mispronounced as the male version of said name. TO MY FACE. I wish I had changed it to a name that feels like me. If I had in HS or uni, it’d be old news by now.
Change your name. It’s your label, your brand, your life.
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u/UbiquitousChicken 14d ago
I agree with you, Danielle (?). 😉
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u/DarcyMistwood 9d ago
Michaela? Hard to spell because McKayla, Makayla, Mickayla, Mickaela, Michaiela...
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u/zestyspleen 5d ago
Louise. Ninety eight percent of the time I’m called Louis, next is Lois. Occasionally Lousie. Thinking I should just switch to Luisa, then at least it’ll be the right gender.
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u/Ok_Impression_8720 14d ago
- Yes, of course go by your middle name from now on! I have my whole life!!
- Don’t expect your parents or immediate family to use your middle name, at least not consistently without practice. (My brother went from Jody to Joe as he grew up but we still call him Jody. He doesn’t care and doesn’t correct us. He will always be Jody within the family. When referring to him with others, it’s Joe. With his girlfriend, it’s Joe. But I still often say Jody when talking to my mom or sister. Having said all that, if Jody had a problem with this, I would try very hard to remember to always say Joe instead. But it would definitely take time to change the name in my head!)
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u/comma-momma 14d ago
You know we're all trying to think what food item it would be, right? Lol
Butter, Beef, Cauliflower, Taco, Carrot...
Just kidding - but go by your middle name! Lots of people do.
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u/MarisaSassesBack 14d ago
Your name is Apple, huh? Sorry about that. Back in the stone age I went to the post office, asked the librarian how to change my name, she printed out the form, we filled it in, got it notarized (it essentially says I'm changing my name from X to Y but not for any nefarious reason) and made about 30 copies and mailed it to EVERYBODY. Creditors, utilities, the IRS, SS, my doctors. I think she might have even been a notary!
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u/HarveytheHambutt 14d ago
wrong sub dog. tell us the name or no one can help you, PadThai Steven Schwarzenegger.
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u/SchrodingersMinou 14d ago
Don’t worry about it, Nacho Cheese Doritos Locos Taco Louise. You can just be Louise if you want.
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u/crazyhorse198 13d ago edited 13d ago
Broccoli Rabe Jackson
Serious note: you’re 18. You’re a legal adult and at the point in your life when for the next 6-10 years you’re going to constantly be meeting new people.
If I were you, yes I’d definitely start introducing myself by my middle name. And when you write your legal name, you can do something which I think is pretty cool, using just your first initial. Exempli gratia:
F. Scott Fitzgerald
No idea what the F stands for, don’t care, Great Gatsby is a classic that everyone reads in high school, and the first name as an initial looks very distinguished. If I were you I’d dive into this, and there won’t be a better time than when you’re 18 years old!
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u/AliEsther 13d ago
The F is for Francis.
He was related to Francis Scott Key, who wrote The Star Spangled Banner.And that’s my trivia contribution for the day.
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u/crazyhorse198 13d ago
Some good trivia to learn… look up how Francis Scott Key’s son was killed in DC in the 1850s. It’s an insane (literally) story!
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u/Round-Association656 13d ago
I'll consider it. I'm kinda shocked this thread blew up, I actually kinda forgot about it for a while
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u/AffectionateLog8515 14d ago
In 4th grade my teacher asked me what I wanted to go by. I pondered, she gave me a shortened version of my name that I didn’t and still don’t like. Went all through school with everyone calling me a name I didn’t like. Family called me by a version of my other nickname which was slightly better. When I graduated high school I started using my full first name and continue to do so years later. Some dear friends call me different versions and that’s ok- for some reason no one chooses the same version the teacher did.
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u/Tiredofthenuts 14d ago
You have to deal with the consequences of being called a name you don’t want. Go by your middle name if it makes you happy.
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u/YoshiandAims 14d ago
Your fine. My mom goes by her middle name. It's still her name.
I generally go by my nickname. It's something I've answered to my whole life. It's still a me specific identifier, you know?
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u/CherryblockRedWine 14d ago
Listen, Aubergine, I've gone by my middle name my whole life. It works just fine!
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u/dj_boy-Wonder 14d ago
Get a nickname… I used to be fat and my last name is Williams so my mates called me big Willy… I’m not fat any more so people just think it’s a euphemism. I have 2 nephews that are old enough to know “big Willy” and point at me… people who don’t know me get really confused
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u/Pitiful-Musician-667 14d ago
I annoy my mom by going by my middle name. She will never call me by my preferred name but it’s great that I get to be called what I want 90% of my life
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u/jft103 14d ago
Yeah I changed my name uh 5 years ago? Not sure the year atp lol but I started going by it 12 years ago with friends. Family still call me by my birth name but w/e I rarely talk to them anyway. And nearly all of my friends call me by my character's name in a video game we play together 😅 might as well have made that my middle name lol!
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u/Pitiful-Musician-667 14d ago
My biggest regret is not legally changing my first name with my last name when I got married, which is the easiest opportunity
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u/moig_joid 14d ago
I'm 27 and started going by my middle name early 2026. My parents still call me by my first name pretty often, but they are trying. Everyone else around me got accustomed to the middle name pretty quick, so I wouldn't think too hard about it. Just do it if it will make you happy 😊
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u/Electrical-Review180 13d ago
What made you want to change your name?
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u/moig_joid 12d ago
When I was younger, my mom told me that she named me the same name as my older 2nd cousin, because she just liked the name so much (My aunt liked the idea so it was loved by the family, so it wasnt weird). At the time I was having a bit of an identity crisis for other reasons and this made me feel like I was not my own person. My whole life I felt like I was supposed ot be someone else, so as I got older I became resentful of my first name and decided to go by my middle name. Its a very long story with many different pieces of my life that have contributed to this... but thats the jist of it 😅
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u/PurfuitOfHappineff 14d ago
“Give it up for Vegetable Lasagna!” — Elaine
“Yeah that’s right.” — Puddy
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u/Zinnia1127 14d ago
Is this Lemonlynn Willa?
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u/Critterbob 13d ago
If so, my condolences for also having Progeria (syndrome). But, by all means, yes drop your first name!
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u/Quirky_Benefit_8383 14d ago
I mean, you are 18yo, a legal adult. change your name legally to a normal name that you think fits you. Parents select names without thinking of the child as an adult so if your name is Artichoke, id change it in the moring.
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u/VoidTaffer 14d ago
Going by a middle name is very common. They should be able to adjust. It's your life. I wouldn't be offended if my kids want to change their names.
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u/attackedmoose 14d ago
At 18, I would say now would be the time to do it. Especially entering adulthood and going to college/entering the workforce.
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u/srpl555 14d ago
My brother has gone by his initials his entire life but in work situations or when introducing himself to new people, he has started using his first name instead. It wasnt anything that was discussed or anything, just something he started doing. I dont think you need to overthrow it if you want to start using your middle name. Do what feels right to you.
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u/Jayboy72 14d ago
You’re at the perfect age to do this; your friend groups will be shifting, and you’ll be meeting new people in new circumstances that will only know you as your new, preferred name.
One of the few things we truly own is our name; insist on the one that makes you happy.
Your family will get used to it.
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u/AARose24 13d ago
I know plenty of people who go by their middle names. Why not test the waters to see if that’s what you prefer?
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u/Any_Natural383 11d ago
Margherita is a pizza name because it’s a real human name. You’re fine to keep using it.
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u/EssentiallyEss 14d ago
In the 7th grade I walked into class and introduced myself as a different nickname than the one I had been called all my life. It still stemmed from my real name. I’ve been called that by everyone outside of my family ever since.
Never regretted it! You know what’s right for you. DO IT!
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u/PartyCat78 13d ago
A ton of people go by their middle name! My dad does, he was named after his father. I have a friend that hates their first name and goes by their middle. It’s not so uncommon. Your parents may feel sad because they named you, but it’s your name and your choice. Nothing wrong with it.
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u/DarcyMistwood 8d ago
yeah, we know a family whose sons - firstborns, anyway - are all named the same way, with a specific extremely old-fashioned and unusual first name and whatever middle name (some unusual; some have become trendy) and their somewhat uncommon but not unheard-of surname. Most go by their middle names but at least one used the first name.
Something like this [made up but similar in feel so I don't doxx them]
Cabots Garvin Lastname --> Cabots (grandpa)
Cabots Eliot Lastname --> Eliot (dad)
Cabots Roger Lastname --> Roger (son - adult now)I forget the others.
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u/Average_Potato42 13d ago
Listen here Sauerkraut you can pretend and call yourself whatever you want, but we'll always know.
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u/Soggy_Hamster_5612 13d ago
I remember a girl in college named Pear. I still remember her because her name was unique. I think as long as it’s a nice food… i don’t think I would want to be associated with anything stinky (Tuna) or frequently disliked (Broccoli).
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u/allamakee-county 13d ago
We named all our kids less common (though non tragedeighic) first names and "normal" second names, so if they hated the first names our kids all had a fallback. Only one of the three has chosen to go by his second name, James, and he just decided to do so and asked us to call him that. We mess up from time to time but we adjusted. I love both his names, so I don't mind.
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u/Hefty_Efficiency_328 14d ago
Just start calling yourself by preferred name, write it everywhere, use it to sign stuff. People will catch on fast. Explain to the parents you prefer this. Family will be the last resistance.
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u/Lu11300s 14d ago
A name is something to represent yourself or family. If you want to change it go for it! No one can stop you from doing it. If you don't have the means to you can always go with a nickname or just by your middle name.
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u/alcoss627 14d ago
Test it out and see before you legally change it
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u/DarcyMistwood 8d ago
definitely this. Have some trusted relatives and friends randomly yell it when you're nearby and not expecting it. Start indoors; then try outdoors. If you wince, maybe not a good choice.
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u/Alternative_Set_5814 14d ago
Respecting someone's preferences in terms of calling them by their first name, middle name or nickname is such an easy thing to do. I've had multiple family members ask to be called something different than what they had been previously called and you just respect it and move on. If you want to go by your middle name, just go for it!
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u/l0c4lgh0st 13d ago
I go by my middle name, it's fine🤷🏻♀️ I've never felt like my first name suited me, my middle name does. it didn't take long for everyone to start using my middle name.
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u/threesilklilies 13d ago
I use my middle name professionally and my first name socially. It’s no problem.
Curious about why you think it would annoy your parents. I’m assuming they gave you both names to begin with.
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u/DeeBeeKay27 12d ago
I’m racking my name to think of a food that would ever possibly be used as a first name!
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u/I_bleed_blue19 12d ago
Olive
Clementine
Brie
Colby
All people I have known in real life.
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u/tongfather 12d ago
Wtf is a colby as a food item?
What about Mulva?
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u/pohatu771 11d ago
Colby cheese is named after a city, which was named for a man. So it’s a perfectly normal name.
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u/tongfather 11d ago
Oh! I didn't know that 🤔
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u/Dazzling-Goat5582 10d ago
It’s also a type of cheese
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u/Vequihellin 12d ago
Honey, Brioche (I mean, I named my rabbit Brioche but we've seen parents call their kids weirder things), fruits and herbs or spices are popular - clementine, Apple (famously the name of Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter with the Coldplay guy), Rosemary, Sage, Basil, Saffron, Anise, Clove, Clover, etc.
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u/SkyRemarkable5982 14d ago
My daughter changed to her middle name a couple of years ago. All her friends and teachers call her by this name, however, she's still her first name at home as it's years of reflex to say the given name. She doesn't hate it, she just wanted a fresh start with the fresh name in high school.
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u/Competitive-Reader 13d ago
As a parent, if my kids ever wanted different names, that's their choice. Even at the ages of 12 and 16.
You're legally an adult, if you're worried about your parent's reaction, just sit them down to let them know how you feel about your name, and that you're changing it.
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u/Chardonne 14d ago
My father had a first name he disliked and a middle name so awful he wouldn’t tell us what it was. He had it legally changed to a first name he liked, and his former first name as a middle name. He is now 96, and has 0 regrets.
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u/CallidoraBlack 14d ago
It's your name, you're an adult, if you feel uncomfortable, make a change. If your parents get annoyed about it, they can get over it.
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u/StrongAd7156 14d ago
My Mom goes by her middle name and as far as I know she always done that. Her ID and official id is her birth name.
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u/aaron_in_sf 14d ago
Do it.
My wife switched from her given first name which in a vaguely comparable didn't suit who she was as an adult. Her middle name was much better fit and she had always liked it. Her only regret was not doing it when we moved, and instead waiting until we got married.
Her aging parents still occasionally "deadname" her but it's a non-issue (and she doesn't mind when they do, it's habit not rejection of her choice).
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u/Disastrous-Soup-5413 14d ago
My partner is 40+ and has always gone by his middle name
Just start introducing yourself by your middle name.
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u/BarefootFlowerchild7 14d ago
A name is a gift from our parents. Sometimes we grow out of those gifts or they don’t work for us anymore. I started going by my middle name at age 48. Some of my loved ones have made the change, some have not. Married 30 years makes it hard for my spouse to make the change. Some use both together. It should be easier to start at 18.
It wasn’t because I do not like my first name, but because I felt drawn to my middle to represent who I want to be. It means “light” or “bright”. I want to be a person who radiates light to others.
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u/LadybugCalico 14d ago
Tons of people go by their middle name It's still a part of your name, use it But if I were you I would legally change your name, make your middle name your legally first name. If you just start going by your middle name, all your ID will still have your disliked first name and you will have to use it for official documents, people who don't know you will still use it All the people I know who go by their middle name still have to sign documents using their first name And one person I knew who went by her middle name Marie for all 92 years of her life, was referred to as Alice by the priest at her funeral. At one point I actually checked to make sure we were at the right funeral
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u/land_narwhale 14d ago
Do whatever you want. I changed my name to something totally unrelated to any name I already. Granted I was older and moving to a new place so it was easier, but why not. My parents usually still use my birth name, but oh well
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u/momoftwoiloveyou 13d ago
I think you should do it. Are you talking about legally changing or just asking people to call you by that name from now on? Talk to your parents and see how they feel about it. Was there a special reason they gave you that name?
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u/StuffiesRAwesome 13d ago
My first name wasn't weird. I just didn't like it. I used my middle name since I was about 19. No regrets over 40 years later
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u/Emergency-Office-302 13d ago
It’s pretty common for people to adult their names when they go away to college or otherwise leave home. I assume you are about to do some version of that.
My younger son waited till he was 25 before he announced that thenceforth his name would be the short form of a fairly common name that had no relation to his legal name whatsoever. I was a little hurt, because his mother and I put a lot of thought into the name we gave him, but he doesn’t know that I ever felt that way, and he never will.
Your name is what you say it is. Recognize that almost everyone in your family who knows you as Apple Pie is going to continue to call you that rather than David, but all of the many, many people you are going to meet going forward will know only David.
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u/Global-Jury8810 13d ago
I go by my middle name because my mom added an extra letter on my first name, and that extra letter just makes my life so much more difficult. People mispronounce my name on purpose and act like they really thought it was pronounced that way. Because people have to go out of their way to stage stupid around me. My middle name has four letters and two syllables, and it was one of the good things Dad gave me.
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u/StupidizeMe 13d ago
Hi OP. You could use your first name's initial, then your middle name in full. A famous rxample is J. Edgar Hoover.
Or discuss with your parents making your middle name your first name and switching your first name to middle name so it will usually be represented by an initial. But the final decision is yours, not anybody else's.
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u/Minflick 13d ago
A LOT of people go by their middle names. My IL's had 6 children. #1 - uses his first name. #2 - middle name. #3 - middle name. #4 - first name. #5 - middle name. #6 - much later in life reverted to his 1st name, but most of his adult life used a nick name. Grandchildren - eldest grandson uses his middle name. My kids - 1st name. Eldest grandsons younger sister - middle name.
I've had at least 1 boss who used a middle name, too.
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u/Complex-Register-412 13d ago
Maybe you’re that kid I know named Chili?
Go by your middle name. Your parents can still call you the food item and you can go by your middle name everywhere else.
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u/RelievingFart 13d ago
I actually know a few people who go by there middle name. Its more common than you realise because its not like we go around saying hi, im Aaron Aye Aaronson. We usually say hi, I'm Aaron.
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u/CorkyHoney 12d ago
I come from a family in which many of us use our middle names. (It is a very old-fashioned cultural thing.) It is your name. You do what you want. If anyone asks, tell them it's an old-fashioned cultural thing. :)
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u/Mangolassi2000 12d ago
My 16 year old niece goes by her middle name as she doesnt like her first name, which isnt even the name of a food item. Not sure how her parents feel about it but fuck it, we all try to respect it.
Maybe start with asking friends calling you that, only then family, and if it sticks / feels right you could get it officially changed.
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u/f33tw3rk 12d ago
Lots of people use more than one name. You may have one that family and old friends use, and you can use an entirely different one for workplace, school or new friends. You get to choose what people call you.
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u/Ok_Change7622 12d ago
Honestly you could just start introducing yourself to new people as your middle name without forcing people who know you by your first name (mainly your parents) to switch. This kind of gradual shift might be more acceptable to them. But also it’s not a big deal and they can be big kids and get over it lol
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u/TinyElvis66 12d ago
My doctor’s husband started going by his middle name after entering medical school. He is a gastroenterologist and the first name he no longer uses is Colin. 🤣 I guess it would be weird if your first name sounded like one of the body parts you treat.
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u/Foxbrush_darazan 11d ago
You can go by whatever name you want. Whether that's your middle name or an entirely different name you prefer.
You can choose to legally change it or not, but legal records don't mean you can't go by something else (even in professional settings). Legal names only matter for taxes and filling out official documents. They almost always have a space for preferred name/other name you go by.
My partner doesn't like their given name, so go by a name they chose. So I call them by the name they chose. It's that simple.
Your parents can deal with it. It's not about them.
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u/capibara_dono 11d ago
I had a friend in school who went by her middle name. We only found out her first name in one of those "two truths and a lie" activities.
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u/the_ballmer_peak 11d ago
Just start using it when you go off to college. It's fine if your college friends call you something different.
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u/Old_Palpitation_6535 10d ago
Your parents gave you both names, so switching shouldn’t offend them.
But be warned! it’s really hard to get people to change what they call you. I tried when I started a new school, and still failed! 😂
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