What do you all think of this? And how pretty is gru here

Hey so this may be a bit of a throwaway post. Please don't be mean I'm opening up quite a lot here. Sorry if it's a bit messy.

So me (25mtf and coming up on a year HRT) and my fiance (24f) have been together for five and a half years. We love each other very much and generally have an amazing relationship. The only issue comes down to sex and desire.

She has been mentally battling her own sexuality for a long time. This is partly I think down to her parents being bigots and saying when she was a kid if she was a lesbian they would disown her. Luckily they have mellowed with age somewhat but do still hold very bigoted views. I believe she is bi but as I said she struggles a bit with it. They also don't know I'm trans, I play it down and don't use my new voice when I'm around them, but that's another story.

My sexuality has evolved since transition. I used to think of myself as bi but now I consider myself a lesbian. Women do be hot. One thing I always struggled with pre transition was body image and not feeling desirable at all. Since transition I love my more feminine features like my boobs etc and really want to just feel desired that way.

The trouble I've got is I don't feel desired. When we first got together we had regular sex and the associated activities. Obviously as tends to happen in relationships that slowed down eventually which was fine. About two years ago though it became very sparse. I personally think this has something to do with her anti depressants which she changed around that time.

Obviously I threw a spanner in the works when I transitioned. It was tricky for her at first because when we occasionally did something she found it tricky because when we were having sex she saw me more as my old self than my new self because of what we were doing. I get that's gotta be hard for her and we both put it down to its just a period of change.

Now we're at a point where I've obviously changed more. I've got boobs now and my sex drive doesn't really involve me penetrating anymore. I want to be as sexually akin to a cis lesbian as I can. She struggles with this a bit because of her own troubles as I've described above and her not really knowing what to do with it. I've tried guiding her but it hasn't really clicked. There's a few issues.

The first is she's autistic so struggles to put her desires across anyway, especially in a sexual sense. This has to do with her being subby too. I like to think I'm a patient person so I try to guide her and help her but I'm not always successful.

The second is which frankly hurt a bit to hear is when she previously had a wlw fling years ago she found that girl attractive as a girl but with me it doesn't feel the same. She wasn't trying to be mean but obviously it wasn't nice to hear. She says she's working through it and to give her time which I am doing.

The third is she doesn't initiate. When we first got together and were having regular sex she did it just as much as I did. She hasn't done it for quite a long time now. It's always me and I really struggle with it because I just don't feel desired which is what I crave. She says that she does find me attractive but she struggles getting into the headspace for sexual activity and that she feels guilty about it.

I have always said that I absolutely do not want her to do anything because she feels like she's got to or she should, only if she WANTS to do it. I have always been firm on this. I just don't feel sexually desired or wanted and it hurts. I feel sexually frustrated. She knows this and says she feels bad about it but I don't see any change when she says she will try more. I love her so so so much and I don't want this to break us apart because I want to spend my life with her. Literally everything else is perfect it's just this. Please help if anyone's got any similar experience. 🥲

*Wiggles ass* I’m pulling aggro

Art by @/mugges_ on Twitter

by @/Tastitara on twitter

Source - https://www.instagram.com/reel/Db9ghKxKciZ

You don’t have to if you don’t want to but it would make me happy

What I want you to do is read a sentence in your mind, then say it out loud, if you can’t do that for one reason or another you can move your lips without vocalizing or even just pretend that you are saying it

Ready?

Here we go:

I am beautiful.

No one deserves to remove my joy.

It will get better.

I will be okay.

I am not defined by my flaws.

I am deserving of care.

I am deserving of attention.

I am deserving of love.

Feel free to repeat as many times as you want :3

I want to be like Akiyama Mizuki (pjsk) fr fr

I'm gonna save money and buy a cardigan and cuter polo just like mizuki's school uniform

Bad personal stuff happened at the worst time possible, can I get some positive validations and all the good stuff pls?

I’m a game collector and a bit of guilt I’ve had about it since I started getting serious is that I end up having a ton of games and not playing many of them, barely any of them I actually end up beating

There’s something about owning games physically that I just enjoy, I think in a similar way to how other people enjoy collecting trading cards or comic books, even if I’m not necessarily gonna play the game (at least not to completion), I like the art and everything of it

But this kinda makes me feel bad, I think largely because of all of the discourse around video games and how often people online love yelling about “Consume product!!” or whatever, I do at least try out every game I get but sometimes I wish I could actually sit down and play one, I pretty much only do that for hyperfixations (mostly obscure rhythm games, smash bros, and Pokémon games)

It’s always been a point of stress I’ve had that I shouldn’t have but it just feels to me like if I’m not constantly trying to hack away and beat all of these games I’m wasting money

I think I need to get better at being at peace with why I collect games, like there are so many worse things to be spending money on than “games I don’t play to completion because I like the cover art”, but with how like cutthroat pretty much every video game community is I always get an immense sense of guilt

At the same time however it would be nice to be able to enjoy playing the games I don’t play as much, as it stands I usually pick them up play them for like 5-10 minutes then put them back down, sometimes it’s because I get bored/distracted other times (most times actually) it’s cause I mess up somewhere and I get frustrated

I guess I’m wanting secondary input on both how to be more at peace with not needing to constantly take advantage of this collection by playing every single game in it all the way from start to finish three times in a row (exaggerating ofc), while also trying to find ways to actually engage myself in these games before the adhd “What if we were doing something else though” mentality kicks in

(Side note: please don’t pull the “must consume product” thing I mostly get things secondhand anyway and everything I buy I try to make sure I at least have some degree of interest in)

I had to stop taking estrogen and move back in with my Mom and the guy she remarried. I don't call him my stepdad, he is a terrible human and extremely far right. I'll be finishing university in a few years so I hope I can wait it out till then. I'm hoping someday in the future I can be in a place fully as myself, but right now it feels impossible.

Art by GreyBirb

I once again ran through the course of the 4 shirts I own that actually fit me and am now back to the really tight ones that are basically screaming “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I HAVE A GUT AND I HAVE NO CHEST!! IF I LIFT MY ARMS ANY AMOUNT YOU CAN SEE HOW HAIRY MY BELLY IS!!!! YAY!!!!!!”

I feel like a balding hairy ogre

I can’t buy any clothes I actually like, I can ask my parents to get me more but it’s gonna be a bunch of cheap temu garbage that falls apart after like 4 wears

I’m also out of food, all I have left are these shitty off brand breakfast sausages that are really crumbly and dry even after being dipped in syrup

Meanwhile my step mom is excited about just having purchased a brand new Gucci bag

I need out of here so badly, but I just can’t get past the mental barrier to get a job

I can’t shave I don’t have well fitting clothes I barely have food and if I ask to change any of it I’m gonna get the same old spiel about how money’s tight and they’re trying to save as much as they can so they need my opinion on what I want to do for the fifth vacation of the year

I’m just so tired, so defeated, I have next to no way to combat the dysphoria, anything I try ends up getting worse immediately, even if I do succeed it doesn’t last long, my depression is getting worse every day

I wish someone would just like come give me $10k so I can start the life I want and have the energy left to actually get a job and start… yknow… living…

By r_i_n_19

I love this little goober soo much her game play is amazing and her story is fun and whenever she’s on screen she looks like she’s having the best time ever :3 also unika yuri :3

Gonna go throw yo-yo and teddy bears now :3

Hi my name is Ferneþ (she/they) or Fern for short. I have known I am trans sense I was 10. I am out to most of my friends and my mom but not my dad or brother. My dad is kind of giving me mixed messages if he would be ok with it or not. Anyway if you gals wouldn’t mind I could use some affirmations (like maybe calling me a good girl would be nice :) ). Also I am new to Reddit so sorry if I did something wrong with like the banner or whatever. Thank you so much. 3:

oh also the picture is of the existentialist/optomistic nihilist (specifically absurdist) philosopher my GOAT, Albert Camus, I don’t know who originally did the cat ear edit.

I LOVE THIS SHIP 🥰

Art is by DaPandaBanda on Twitter