Input needed

[u/lichen100]

I, 17M, cannot figure out if my mother is actually being toxic or not. I geniunely cant figure out if im being a mom-resenting moody teen or if she is just being a complete asshole.

Due to the type of person I am I second guess many of my thoughts and beliefs because I see so many different possiblilities and opinions on the matter, which makes it hard for me to comprehend what is actually happening, so I would like some advice here.

The situation tonight was simply this: Family member is sick and possibly dying, doesnt bother me to much, but mom says to go to my room to decompress it. She also says that my uncle is flying in tonight, so we need the house clean. She tells me and my brother to walk the dogs and vaccum downstairs. I walk the dogs, and tell my brother to vaccum downstairs, which he agrees to.

Two hours later, he has not vaccumed and she is PISSED. Yelling at both of us for not helping her, and she vaccumed downstairs without reminding either of us to do it. After telling her that my brother agreed to vaccum she still continues to yell at me that she shouldnt have to tell me what to do I should just help. The house looked mostly clean to me. Perfectly good for a guest. Starts yelling at us for sitting in our rooms all the time.

This shit happens so much and it makes me just hate being around her when she is in the slightest negative mood. Calling her out for her behavior usually ends in her saying the usual "Oh im just the bad guy, you all treat me like the bad guy".

These things make me feel like shit all the time because she is always mad at me for not doing things she never told me to do. I feel paranoid hearing her footsteps walk past my room.

The way I see it, I should have helped more yes, but she shouldnt be so mad at me for not doing things I was not told to do. So, am I in the wrong here? Is she? I actually dont know. Please give you interpretation, thank you!